Other Worldly Invitation

Part One

"This land is not what you were meant for

You're not intended for this sad little sphere

The black expanse of night, the only escape for a tired mind, a tired soul; the soft points of light in the blackness of night, shining lights of hope. Hope that

one day he would escape this pitiful life and finally be free of the clutches of day. It was the one thing that sustained him through this bleak disappointment of a life; his only source of light was the darkness of the night.

Dib groaned as he struggled onto the tiled roof from the pitiful weak ladder that only just held his weight It had rotten over the years, the wood growing brittle and easily broken, he was surprised it was still in one piece. He scamped over the tiles, careful not to step to heavily on the weak spots, or he would suffer another fall. Sleep had eluded him once again, and his mind was reeling with unanswerable questions. So he did the only thing he knew, he climbed onto the roof, and watched the stars. 

It wasn't abnormal for someone like him to lay in solace on the dirty weather stained roof, watching helplessly as the expanse of space passed by without him. It wasn't abnormal for him to fall into fits of solitude where physical contact was like a disease that must be avoided at all costs. But that was the environment he had grown up in, alone, isolated. It was abnormal for him that any human show any signs of affection towards him, even his family. So he instinctively shied.

Since his mother died it had been like that, for his sister as well, maybe worse even for her. He wanted more than anything to be there for her, Gaz, but if he was he was sure he wouldn't know what to do, and it was vice versa for her. They were both so lost in their loneliness but it always seemed to be worse for him. He didn't know why, maybe Gaz was just immune to it; maybe she hid it better. What he did know was that every day he was being consumed by his loneliness.

His whole life he had felt unloved; only when she was there did his heart feel full. But how many years had passed?  This feeling of complete emptiness engulfed him He couldn't keep track of time any more, it slipped by him without notice; menial things like that never matter when you're being drowned by your own sorrow. The only reason he knew time, he knew existence was because of the loneliness. He would wake up every morning not to face the bright morning sun that burnt his sensitive eyes, or the cold unfeeling faces of his loved ones. But to continue the battle that raged in him since forever.

People had always said he was the kind that would commit suicide. He didn't know why though, maybe it was the trench coat or the boots. Maybe it was the pale skin or the fact he talked to himself. Maybe it was the fact that he had no friends except for his sister. Or maybe they just wished he would, slit his wrists and bleed himself all over the ground. One less creepy kid to torment. But through all the darkness and emptiness, through all the torments and loneliness, he would never take his own life. That would just be letting the darkness win; that would just be letting them win. So instead he stargazed…

Since he was young, much younger than he could ever imagine himself being, he had loved the stars. They were the only things that could fascinate him, that could fill the loneliness of his empty heart, the vastness of space. It reminded himself so much of his heart, both so hollow and empty, He had imagined himself up there among the stars, the darkness of space like the darkness that consumed him now. Maybe then he wouldn't be so alone, maybe then he would be reunited with her; the only one he missed more than anything in the universe.

Every night, since his mother died, he would climb up the rotting old ladder and sit on the dirty tiled roof and watch space pass him by. Then every morning when the sun rose in the sky, blocking the stars from view, he would curse it. Curse the daylight like a preacher curses the devil. It was fiery madness to him; the bright rays of golden light would burn his pale skin and block his only escape. He wanted release from the daylight, to float through space among an eternity stars and forever be shrouded in it's darkness. 

That was the main reason he loved the paranormal so, his love of the stars, of the emptiness of space had widened when he had heard of life out there. He was aghast, there was something out there, among the stars, so space wasn't as empty as he had thought. Did that mean his heart wasn't as empty as he had thought? If there was hope for space, there may be hope for him still. Maybe somewhere in the darkness of space, there was also a light. Maybe there was a light in his darkness that would one day reveal itself. But for now…

Since the day he had learned of alien life, he had spent all his energy, every last penny he got on finding them. He wanted to know every fact, every last detail, he wanted them. He joined the swollen eyeball, the most notorious club in the district, they were like him; they wanted more than this pitiful lump of dirt; they wanted the stars. For once since his mother died he felt the emptiness in his heart life a tiny bit, filled. He was a part of something, and someday they promised to leave the earth in search of something better. But their promises like every other he had heard in his life were lies.

Then his chance came, one fateful night, so much like the others. They came; he came. He had been so excited, barely able to contain himself. What he had heard was true, the emptiness of space contained so much life, so much. That night, like the emptiness of space, the emptiness of his heart was filled with so many wonders. It was his chance, the chance he had been waiting for his whole life. That one night like the many, many others; he was sitting on the dirty roof, the headphones of his radar strapped to his head. He was barely listening to it, his mind so engulfed in wild thoughts, engulfed in the bright pricks of light in the sky; he could have almost missed it. But the soft mumbles made it to his brain in time, there was something out there. At first he had thought he was merely imagining it, he did that sometimes hoping so bad that there would be a sign that he would believe there was. But that night there really was a sign.

He had heard their voices, the aliens. It wasn't clear, he had barely heard it at all, but sure enough the voices floated through the headphones to his ears. It too him a while to decipher the alien language, but one thing was for sure, they were coming. He sat up from his laying position on the dirty roof and checked the monitor of his laptop. There it was again, the scope displaying on the screen danced with excitement as his heart did. They were coming here.

He had jumped up in his haste, forgetting his equipment, forgetting everything except the news. He slid down the drainpipe; completely ignoring the memory of the last time he had done that, only to find himself sprawled in the bushes by the window. He jumped through the window and landed face first in the kitchen sink, his nose filling with bubbly liquid causing his to gage and sneeze. He pulled himself out of the sink and tumbled to the floor in a heap; jumping up he ran to the first person he saw, which happened to be his father to spill the news.

Of course his father had been too busy to listen, and that usually would have made him stop and think about how horrible his life was. But this news was much too good, he ran over to his sister, for lack of anyone else to tell. He didn't expect her to care; which she didn't, but he told her everything as if she were the most attentive listener he had ever had. He couldn't just hold it in; if he had he was sure he would have exploded. This was the news he had waited for his whole life; this was his chance.

Of course what he got was so far from what he had expected, but then again so was everything else…

So I ask that you give me a moment

To try take you away from here

Zim sighed as he sunk deeper into his bath of paste. He hated this; he hated this weakness to water. Such a simple compound of hydrogen and oxygen, but acid to his skin. He didn't understand how the filthy humans could consume it, or how they could consume that disgusting germ ridden food they served in the schools cafeteria either. But he would do anything to avoid showing weakness to them, especially the Dib human. He shut his eyes tightly and let his head sink under the thick paste. This was relaxing though…

A half inaudible scream reached his ears followed by a loud crash and the sound of glass breaking. He shuddered inwardly knowing exactly what that meant; GIR was making pancakes. He sat up from the gooey paste with a sickening slurp and snapped his eyes open. He didn't want to get out of the bath now, he was so relaxed, but if it meant saving the base, and the mission he guessed it would be the right thing to do.

He pulled himself out of the thick sticky goo and towelled himself off, jumping up on a stool so he could reach the bathroom sink. He glared at himself in the mirror a few times, checking his green skin for any blemishes that came with the filthy human dirt. He stood up straight, standing on his toes to get a glance below his neck. He was pitifully short; no wonder the Tallest sent him to this disgusting lump of dirt.

Yes he knew, this wasn't a 'secret mission' nor was he sure if this was even the right planet; most of the inhabitants around this area were as disgusting or even more so than the humans, the computer must have seen this place as the most habitable of the area, which didn't say much. He also knew, GIR wasn't an advanced model of a SIR that he was just a pile of garbage filled with bottle caps and mothballs. And yes he also knew they thought nothing more of his than the lint between their toes; that they had sent him to the boondocks of the galaxy just to get him out of their antennae, wishing he would just die on the way, or while he was there, not because he was special or a perfect soldier or any of the other pathetic excuses they had given him. So what was he trying to prove?

Did he think that if he succeeded they would just magically love him? No he needed to be about three feet taller. Did he think they would grant him an honorary award for destroying another innocent race? He was a fool for even being here, among the disgusting filthy humans. He could have just left his course and travelled the universe, wouldn't that have been nice. But he had followed their orders, the 'Almighty Tallest' and he knew exactly why.

Since his birth he had a particularly bad habit of becoming attached to things. The large metal arm, that paper clip he had found in the hallway, that poor little Irken Hal. He didn't know why he became attached to such pitiful things; it was a 'disorder' as one of the tallest had called it. But that also was part of his height disorder, it was all the same to them. Another defective soldier. And as an added bonus of his disorder he had become attached to his home planet. Most would think that perfectly acceptable, but if they had been treated the way he had they would definitely call it a disorder. He was still striving, through all the torment, to impress those sad excuses for leaders. Only Operation Impending Doom I had defied that fact.

He remembered with a rueful smile Operation Impending Doom I. He had destroyed that one nice and good, of course he had paid the price, but it was worth it to see the look on the Tallests' faces. How he wished he had something to preserve that moment. They had thought him insane, and he may very well have been. But they didn't seem to understand the purpose of his outbreak Ever since he had attended invaders school he had wanted nothing more than to be an invader. That was his destiny, that was his purpose in life; that was every Irkens purpose. But once again his height disorder had reared its ugly head.

"Your too short."

Everywhere he went those words would ring continuously in his ears. 'No invader has ever been so short; you'll get no where with that height' on and on, the taunts never stopped, but he had survived on the knowledge, the fantasy that maybe the tallest would se the Invaders blood running through his veins and forget about his height disorder.

But when Operation Impending Doom I had come, the chance of his lifetime; again his height failed him. It was the most embarrassing thing he had ever experienced. His pride and his dreams had been taken away forever in front of the biggest gathering of Irkens he had ever seen. Imagine being there, in all your glory in front of the Tallest, the leaders, gods of your entire race; only to be told that you too small and useless to be anything other than a messenger. He was enraged to say the least, enraged and embarrassed.

He had barely been able to contain himself; his emotions had taken over, which is usually never tolerated in the Irken race. He forgot everything he had learned in Invader school and to put it plainly he went berserk. They deserved it though, the whole empire was going to fall one day and he could tell it was soon as well. Already nearly every planet that they had previously invaded had or would be running illegal trading routs through them. Rebel groups on a few of the planets whose inhabitants still lived, everything was falling from under their noses but they refused to notice. He himself couldn't wait to see it, a lot had known it was coming but he would be most pleased.

It was like a certain point in Earth history, a place called the Roman Empire. Everyone had said it was the biggest empire, their leader ruled the entire known world (which was a pitifully small amount of this small rock) but soon enough everything collapsed and it was forgot, another page in a history text book. He hoped one day to see the Irken Empire like that. Dead, just another memory of power, and the Tallest destroyed. 

Zim was broken from his thoughts by another shrill scream followed by GIRs' hollow metal feet scampering across the wooden floor. Zim felt a cold tingle run down his spine and small bumps covered his bare green skin. He stepped cautiously off the stool he stood on and threw his invader uniform over his body. One of these days he was going to break again and kill that irritating hunk of junk, another prank the tallest had played on him.

He caught his reflection in the mirror again, his eyes looked different than they had before, he could barely tell they were his. But he forgot it and ran out of the bathroom his brain still reeling with previous thoughts. He stepped into the living room and froze rooted to the spot. It was usually messy, a few odd pieces of junk scattered around the floor but he could never have imagined this could happen.

"GIR what happened here?" He yelled his eyes scanning the piles and piles of junk that littered the floor. Mostly brainfreezie cups and taco bags; but also a variety of broken machinery and old robot parts.

"I was sorting our trash!" GIR exclaimed excitedly appearing onto of one of the piles.

"Why?"

Without a sound GIR pointed to the TV on the other side of the room. Zim slowly turned around his eyes closed tightly; he wasn't ready for this. He opened them slowly taking in the picture projected on the large Television screen. It was a picture of an Earth beach littered with what looked like medical waste and oil. Zim frowned and turned back to GIR who was picking through an old taco wrapper and eating the last scraps of food stuck on it.

"GIR!" He shouted catching the robots attention, if only for a second.

"Yeees?" GIR slurred in reply blinking slowly

"Clean it!" Zim yelled pointing to the mounds of trash that sat in the living room floor.

"Okey dokey!" GIR said happily diving deep into one pile.

Zim breathed deeply, gagging slightly at the air. It reminded him a lot of Irk, Earth did; the pollution was so bad, and though he hated admitting it, it was considerably better than Irk. Zim quickly dismissed the thought, a slight ache pulsing through his head. He needed some release from this monotonous life, he was getting nowhere trying to invade this planet; he didn't have his heart in it, he didn't want to. He could have done it months ago, it was simple the humans were foolish lead by their emotions, but then again so was he.

He sighed walking slowly out of the disgusting living room and took the elevator down to the lab. Maybe if he contacted the tallest he would feel better. He always loved 'reporting' to them, seeing the looks of surprise plastered on both of their faces. He knew they wished he were dead, that he'd stop contacting them, that's why he did it. They hated him and he, with all his being hated them.

Do you ever look up at the sky above you

And wish you didn't have to wait for night to see beyond the blue?

Dib grumbled softly and rolled over pulling his bed sheets over his head. He hated mornings, he was not a morning person. He felt a hand nudge his shoulder again but he did his best to ignore it. He slit his eyes open, immediately regretting it as the bright light flooded in and stung his sensitive eyes. He shivered slightly curling into a ball and letting his mind drift into the hazy darkness of his closed lids.

"Dib get up or you're going to wish you never fell asleep"

Dib sat up quickly icy coldness running from his face down his neck and to his chest. He rubbed his eyes sleepily and reached for his glasses so he could properly glare at whoever had thrown the chilling water on him. He slipped his glasses over his nose and glanced over at Gaz who stood unwavering at his bedside. He growled low in his throat and threw her the most deadly glare he could muster in his sleepy state. She just grunted and turned her back on him walking slowly out the door.

"Hurry up." She said before making her final exit

He sighed and flopped back down on his bed, he would be late but it was worth the extra few minuets sleep.

"And don't lay back down again Dib, I've got another glass of water."

Dib groaned and rolled out of his bed landing on the ground with a thump. He groaned again rubbing his arm as he stood up; he didn't know why he had rolled out of his bed like that, it had seemed like a good idea at the time. He quickly threw some clothes over his boxers and singlet he had worn to bed and combed his hair back in his trademark style. He wasn't in the mood for school right now; maybe he should just pretend to be sick.

Dib shook his head, snorting out a laugh. What good would that do; he wouldn't have anything to do all day; plus school was another reason to see Zim. If he wasn't there Zim could fool the other children into another one of his traps and take over Earth. He was there to save mankind, the same mankind that had shunned him. It was ironic, the way he risked his life to save mankind. The stupid ignorant fools didn't know what was happening to them, they just live out their pitiful lives unaware of the terrors that await them in the dark. Only when their worst fears rear themselves in their ugly little faces do they realise what he's trying to prove. He should just let Zim take over and enslave all the ignorant people; maybe then they'd appreciate him.

People might wonder why he disliked Zim so much; they were alike in almost every way possible, apart from the fact Zim wasn't from this planet. At times Dib didn't believe he was from this planet either. They were both 'weird' as Gaz would put it, they both were picked on by the older kids and they were both outcasts of society. So why did he hate him so much, it was simple. What would he do if Zim weren't around? He would be trapped in the same monotonous life with not a single person to sympathize with him. Chasing Zim, trying to reveal his secret was a hobby to him. He never really would though, he wouldn't dream of letting the government get their slimy hands on Zim. He was his link to the outside world, to the stars.

He had a bizarre way of going around getting Zims' friendship though. Half of him wanted him strapped to an autopsy table and his face printed all over UFO magazines, only then would he get the respect and attention he deserved. On the other hand he wanted to become close to Zim, and hopefully get off this rock to the stars. He knew Zim had seen far more of anything than he had, he had no right to scrutinize Zim the way he did, it just seemed like the right thing to do. Through all his taunts and tests Dib never ever dreamed of letting Zim slip through his fingers. Maybe one day when he had courage he would ask Zim about the stars. But he was a coward, in more ways than one and it would take more than courage to repair the mistrust Zim must have in him. But that didn't bother Dib; he loved the games they played.

"Stop admiring yourself and lets go."

Dib spun around at the sound of Gazs' voice. She was holding another glass of water and she looked ready to throw it. He didn't want to take those chances so he reluctantly followed her out the door if his room. He spared one last glance behind him to the mirror that sat on his wall. His eyes looked different, as if they didn't belong to him, but he tossed the thought aside making a mental note to remind his dad to get him contact lenses. That thought was quickly pushed aside to make room for mindless ponderings as he made his way down the stairs.

As soon as he stepped foot in the kitchen he could tell something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on it. His father, as usual was sitting at the kitchen table munching on a piece of toast completely oblivious to the disgusting state of the kitchen and Gaz was waiting impatiently at the front door. But there was a tension in the air that made his blood run cold; that sent shivers up his spine. You know when you get that feeling where you know your forgetting something but you don't exactly know what?

"Dib, if you don't hurry up you're going to regret it." Gaz growled appearing beside him

"Alright." Dib agreed reluctantly following her out the door

As he exited the house he caught a glimpse into his fathers eyes. It had been years since he had looked his father in the eyes, and what he saw there made his shoulders shake with a most unsettling dread. They looked dead, mourning something that had long past but he still carried the burden of it upon his shoulders. Dib didn't hate his father, he resented him for ignoring him and Gaz like he did, but he never really hated him. They had never been close, it seemed that since his mother died their family had drifted farther and farther apart until they were nothing more than acquaintances that lived in the same house and shared the same blood.

But none of that bothered him; at that moment the only thing bothering him was the unshakable feeling of foreboding that hung above his shoulders. Something was going to happen and there was nothing he could do about it. His fathers eyes had only added to that feeling, warning him that he should be wary of something ahead, but as usual he ignored it and followed Gaz down the street.

Have you ever wanted to reach out and hold those bright little things?

Well, if you like that's just what I can give you

 Zim sat wade eyes at his desk, the classroom bare apart from his unwavering form. He had been here for hours, just sitting, thinking. Now the school began to fill up with the filthy human children as the morning progressed, but he refused to move. His mind reeled with thoughts, emotions that not even he knew he had. He watched the human children as they filed into the room one by one, each taking their turn to ignore him as if he were merely a shadow on the wall. And he saw himself as if in a dream, watching only from the outside, he looked different from what he had thought.

Then as if on cue the Dib human strolled into the room, his usual snide smirk spread across his thin lips. But there was something about his eyes that looked different. Zim couldn't exactly tell, but from this vantage point he knew that something was bothering the human, something that he hid very poorly. And as usual Dib was the only one to notice him. He stopped and smirked at him, like every day throwing him an almost mandatory glare; Zim could only barely glare back. His face just refused to obey his command and sneer at the lowly human, was this what he really wanted?

He couldn't be bothered worrying about Dib; his mind was so full of other thoughts Dib was nothing more than a fly buzzing in his ear. He could tell he looked a wreak; he didn't need a mirror to tell, he could just feel it. Not just physically but emotionally as well. Last night he had called the tallest, as he did every week in the human calendar, they had told him that he could only contact them once a week. They didn't want any enemies hearing of his secret mission; so they claimed. He sometimes wondered just how stupid they thought he was. But what he heard when he had called that night had sent him hurtling face first into the hard brick wall of reality. He knew they hated him, even the most stupid filthy human could tell they hated him, but when that fact had been confirmed his whole world; his whole universe had come crashing down around him.

He remembered with such vivid precision the contempt smirks that had graced their faces and the gleam of malice that shined in each of their jewelled eyes. As one of them, he couldn't remember which one now because his brain had turned numb from shock afterwards, but he remembered the cynical scornful tone it its voice as they confirmed the one fact he had tried his life to deny. He hadn't been able to sleep, his limbs useless weight on his already iron heavy body. He had been so engulfed in grief, or was it jealousy? He hated to admit it, he hated to admit any flaws he had, but he especially hated to admit that he was jealous of the tallest. Not only because they were supreme rulers of the Irken Empire, but because of their height. He was so short, and small, he was jealous of any Irken that was taller than him, which was any Irken period, it really did make him feel useless.

They were loved by everyone, they didn't really have a choice in the matter; neither did anyone else. It seemed that had been the only thing he ever wanted out of life, apart from becoming the best Invader that that filthy invaders school he had attended spat out. But above that, though he hid it, he wanted to be loved by everyone. He wanted so desperately to be accepted, to be a part of something important. As long as he could remember he was being shunned by everyone, he could never do anything to satisfy them, and the ever mind wracking question popped up in his head for the umpteenth time that day, why?

Why? He didn't know. And it didn't really matter that much, he had grown to accept his social retardants; at least that's what he told himself. He was never really sure weather what he told himself in his head was actually what he believed. It was so confusing thinking like this, he hadn't thought this much since, since he worked on Food Cortopia. Despite what they said, they had so many slaves on Food Cortopia that most of the time you were restricted to your quarters and barely ever had to cook. He had gone into an untraceable twisting turning maze of thoughts that he hadn't found the end of for weeks. He could barely remember anything from that time; it had all been a blur. He did remember one thing though, he had cried.

How long had it been since he had cried? He had promised himself on that day never to cry again, and he had succeeded. But lately he had been tempted, he wanted so bad to just break down and cry. But his pride as an Invader had stopped him. He heard it was bad to keep your feelings pent up, but what would the humans know? They had no dignity, Irkens were forbidden to cry, it was the worst show of weakness and cowardice and no Invader wanted that. He'd rather plunge a large rusty germ covered knife into his belly than cry. But it was eating him up inside, like insects had invaded his insides are were slowly but surely leading to his breakdown. He could tell it wasn't far off, and GIR was making it even more so frustrating. He knew the little robot meant well, but one day he was going to pull it apart and jumble its circuits so it would never again sing the doom song.

Zim jumped at the shrill ringing of the school bell that signalled the start of class. He snapped his head up ready to face whatever horrors he would have to face and was startled to see the children filing out of the classroom. He watched them go in confusion, blinking slightly and rubbing his eyes. He was so deep in thought he didn't notice the class had already passed, it wasn't like he needed to know any of the medieval knowledge they taught in the classes here, he had learnt more than this before even Mrs. Bitters was alive. He quickly picked up his books and followed them out the door into the crowded hallways. There was still most of the day left but he wasn't going to stay here any longer, he didn't need to know anything more about human culture, he wasn't in need of this place anymore.

He strode out the school and glanced back at the misspelt sign and the filthy children playing together out the front of the school building. There was nothing about this place he wasn't going to miss. He turned back around and made his way out the gate.

"Hey Zim where are you going?"

Zim stopped dead in his tracks and felt a shudder run up his spine. He did not have time for this, he could already feel his head start to pound with afore effects of a headache. He contemplated just pretending to ignore Dib, but before he had a chance to escape Dib was behind him, his cold hand resting on his shoulder. He spun around glaring at Dib the most vicious spiteful gleam in his eyes. He could feel his emotional time bomb wearing down as every second passed. He needed a quick escape or he would explode and most probably blow his cover; not that Dib didn't already know about his ancestry, but blow his other cover.

"Don't touch me." He growled low in his throat

"Whoa settle down Zim," Dib said backing off slightly holding his hands before his chest defensively, "you know it's not normal to leave school early, unless you're an alien trying to destroy the earth."

"Get away from me, I don't have time for you." Zim whispered turning back around and walking away from Dib

"Are you scared or something Zim?" Dib yelled after him sending another wave of pain shooting through his head

There's an amazing little world outside this one

So many untouched riches just waiting to be found

Dib stepped back again as Zim turned around and glared straight into his eyes. But it wasn't one of his usual glares, now his eyes were filled with spite and hatred, even what looked like despair, but what shone above all of them was fear. Dib blinked in confusion what could it be that was bothering Zim so much? Dib stepped back again as Zim edged closer a low animal growl emitting from his throat.

"You know nothing about me," Zim snarled moving steadily closer to Dib, as he carefully stepped back avoiding Zims accusing fearful eyes

"Zim, wait a minuet…" Dib tried.

It wasn't often he was scared of Zim, Zim was a threat to mankind, true; Zim was an alien, true; but never had Dib ever seen this malice in anything, human or not. He didn't understand, one day Zim was perfectly normal, the space boy that always lost dodge ball; the weird kid with the green head that the popular girls always picked on. His enemy, his nemesis, his rival; the prideful, indestructible, emotionless Zim; but still harmless. But somehow, over the course of twelve hours or less, he had become this alien that stood before him; this demon with eyes full of fear, what had it done with Zim?

"No Dib I'm not going to wait a minuet, I've been waiting my whole life!" Zim shouted back his voice wavering only slightly, "You have no idea what its like to want something so bad, so bad that you'd give up your pride, give up your life to attain that one thing; but then to have it thrown back in your face like old taco sauce! Damn them, damn you, damn this whole universe!"

Dib could say nothing; he couldn't do anything, he was frozen to the spot. He didn't know what Zim was talking about but he felt his heart sink from his chest to his toes. What had they done to him? This wasn't Zim standing before him, Zim was controlled, Zim was rational, when it came to emotions Zim was a brick wall twenty miles thick - what was he talking about? Zim was none of those things, Dib didn't know Zim, how could he? But he knew one thing, this was not Zim, Zim didn't lose control, he couldn't.

"Zim I-I…" Dib trailed off stepping back again.

He felt his foot land awkwardly on something and his legs fall out from underneath him. He landed with a thud on his backside, his glasses tilting slightly off centre on his nose. Ignoring the pain that shot from his hands and spine he looked up straight into Zims eyes, the familiar eyes that always glared back. But now only the same fear filled angered eyes that he had seen moments before. He had seen emotional humans - he was one - and they were unpredictable, so what would an emotional Zim do? Dib saw Zim falter slightly bringing up one of his slim gloved hands over his mouth, his eyes widening as if he had just woken up from a nightmare. Zim glanced down at him their eyes locking for a brief moment sending a slight shiver over him, and without another word he turned and ran down the sidewalk out of view.

Dib stood up from his position on the dirty street pavement, absently dusting himself off. He didn't know what to make of what had just happened, it was too much for his brain to take in. Zim had just exploded in a fit of emotion leaving him stranded searching frantically and hopelessly for answers. Nothing that had just happened made any sense, but it was real. He could still see Zims eyes in his mind, that image would probably be etched into his brain forever. They were so fearful, but what was he scared of? It was so confusing, Zim wasn't scared; he couldn't be. If Zim was gone, if Zim was scared, if Zim lost it, what would he do? Zim was his pillar; Zim was the reason he got out of bed in the morning. If he wasn't chasing Zim, trying to get evidence, he wasn't doing anything.

What was he going to do if Zim left? Zim couldn't leave, not without him, he had to get to Zim; he had to find out what was wrong. He needed Zim, it was simple, through all the fighting and taunting, the chasing, the photos, everything they had gone through over the last however long, he had grown attached to the little green alien and he wasn't going to let something, anything take it away. Zim was his evidence, Zim was his ticket off this planet and he wasn't prepared to throw it away no matter what the cost.

He heard the school bell ring disturbing his from his thoughts. He glanced back at the school gates and contemplated going back, was it really worth it? He looked back down the street Zim had run down to escape whatever it was that was plaguing him, then back at the school and the horrible misspelt sign. No one would even notice if he was missing, they probably would notice if he never came back. With a shrug of his slim shoulders Dib ran down the dirty city streets towards Zims house.

I won't force you, but I just might stoop to begging

Won't you let me show you around?

Zim covered his mouth with his hand, staring down into Dibs confused eyes. What had he just done? What was he thinking, he'd lost it and told Dib everything. How was he going to explain this? Now Dib was going to ask him questions. This was too much; he needed to get away. He took one last glance into Dibs eyes before he turned and ran down the street towards his base, he had to get off this rock. He wasn't going to waste his time and whatever was left of his life trying to invade Earth, and though the humans were disgusting filthy creatures he wasn't going to waste any more of his life taking orders from those incompetent fools that dare call themselves leaders. He was going to destroy them along with the Irken Empire, better they fall now than later.

Zim barged through door to his house, leaning heavily against it his chest heaving and his hands shaking uncontrollably. It hadn't taken much effort for him to run this far, as an Invader he had been trained to keep his stamina high at all times. What they hadn't taught him was how to keep his emotions down in a time of crisis. He bit down hard on his bottom lip, tasting the strong metallic tang of his own blood. He could already feel the tears well up and sting at his eyes but he would do anything to keep them down.

He couldn't believe he'd exploded like that, he had made a fool out of himself in front of Dib, not that it mattered but his pride as an invader came back to haunt him. He shook his head in defeat hanging it in shame as a single tear slipped out of the corner of his eye. He angrily pulled his wig off and tossed it to the ground watching it bounce helplessly on the floor. He peeled of his contacts causing more tears to well up in his eyes. He hated his disguise, he hated pretending to be something he wasn't, but it made him feel powerful. It made him feel as if everything that had bothered him in his Irken life had disappeared and he was only living the life if Zim the green headed freak. But every time he peeled the lenses off and looked into his ruby red eyes he felt everything, all the pain and humiliation wash back over him knocking him over.

He threw the lenses on the ground to join the wig and glanced into a nearby mirror. His eyes shone with unshed tears and his face was taunt and pale. But he saw none of that, he saw the short incompetent loser that had been openly declared disowned by the Irken Empire. He glanced around the room for the nearest throwable object; his eyes landed on the phone on the nearby table. He ripped it out of the wall with ease and threw it at the mirror smashing it into a million pieces. He looked over at the defeated mirror, his chest still heaving from trying to keep his tears at bay, and eighteen little broken Zims stared back at him, all of their eyes filled with tears. He barely noticed that his attempt to keep from crying had failed as he grabbed the vase off the same table and heaved it at the far wall watching in satisfaction as it crumbled into thousands of shards as it impacted with the wall.

He leaned heavily against the door again sliding down to the floor and holding his knees close to his chest. He let his tears flow soaking the thin material of his pants. It wasn't fair; he didn't understand why they had done it. They could have done anything else, they could have thrown him into a planet, they could have dropped him into a sea of water; they could have just plain killed him. But they inflicted the most brutal torture; they left him to live with the shame of being discarded from the Empire. He could never become an Invader now, his life, everything he had dreamed of had crumbled down around him in eight words, those eight words that repeated in his mind over and over again wearing down his emotional barrier with every syllable.

"Zim we don't like you, don't come back."

Zim sobbed helplessly into his knees, his whole body shaking with each wracking sob. He hated crying, it was such a disgrace, but it didn't matter anymore, he wasn't trying to impress anyone now, and it felt so good. A whole lifetime worth of pent up emotions rushing out like a fountain with each single tear, he wasn't going to stop anytime soon. He heard over his sobs the sound of hollow metal tapping against the floor, but he could barely life his head, let alone just to see GIR standing there in front of him, some goofy smile plastered on his lips and a dirty rubber piggy in his hand.

"Aww master, what's wrong?"

Zim felt another rush of sobs wash over him but managed to keep most of it down and lift his tear stained eyes to meet GIRs cheery cyan bulbs. The robot was looking stupidly at him, his usual dopey hollow smile spread across his lips and his hands cupped in front of his metal body. Zim looked down past his body to his legs, which had various puncture marks in them and looked fairly misshapen. Zim looked back up into GIRs eyes but he could only see the mocking smirking red and purple eyes of his tallest.

He clenched his teeth together in unsuppressed rage; they had no right to do this to him, they had no right to make him break, they had snapped him like a twig. He rose slowly to his feet, his eyes never once leaving GIRs. With ease he picked the robot off its feet and clenched his teeth together so hard his jaw felt like it was going to break.

"Master you need a hug." GIR chirped happily reaching his arms out to Zim.

With all the rage of a bull Zim lifted GIR above his head and heaved him across the room at the far wall where the vase had hit only minuets before. With a loud squeak of pain GIR went tumbling to the ground, his once bright cyan eyes turning grey and lifeless. Zims chest heaved his eyes wide and full of tears; what had he just done? He looked down at the lifeless body of his slave robot GIR, tears of sadness and frustration dripping from his eyes to his chin to the floor. It was their fault, they had done this to him; they had done that to GIR.

Zim leaned against the door again sliding back down to the floor raising his weeping eyes to the ceiling, his whole body shaking with sobs. He needed a release, he needed to get away from them, from their influence over him, from everything they had represented in his life; he needed to destroy it all. He traced the patters of split broken paint that had begun to peel off the roof, and at that moment found it the most interesting thing he had ever seen. It was like a web, the most intricate web of cracks and chipped bits of paint from when GIR had jumped and smashed his head on the roof.

It was like the web they had spun for him. The web of lies and deceit; the web of persuasion and of mistrust; the web he had spun on himself, the web they had spun around him in his weak state, in his most vulnerable. He was trapped now and nothing could untangle him, nothing but severing the ties to everything he had known and loved in his life. Everything he had lived for, everything he had dreamed of, but to escape the spiders' claws it was his duty.

Have you ever seen a sun set and a sunrise

Both taking place at the same time?

Dib stood outside Zims house, his body tense and ridged. His mind told him to move forward, but his body refused to obey. He didn't even know why he was here; he knew he had to be home, there was something waiting for him that he didn't want to miss. He didn't know what it was, but he knew he had to be back soon or he'd be in trouble. Yet still he stood, as still as the ugly lawn gnomes that guarded Zims men's room door, his own personal battle raging inside his brain.

Only moments before he had heard a crash from inside the house, of course there was always the possibility that it was just that little robot that Zim had, but something told him it wasn't. He had been having these feelings all day, like something was out of place, he could feel something was going to happen, but he couldn't put his finger on it.  He flinched as another crash rang out from the house to his ears, it was followed by a deadly silence, so unlike Zims house. Usually some scream or radio or TV would be heard, but now, nothing.

That was enough to send Dib over the edge, all day Zim had been acting peculiar, first his weak glare at the start of the day, and usually he would scream some obscenities half way through class, but today was silent and uneventful. Then his eyes before, so filled with emotions Dib didn't even know aliens had, they were so human. And now the deadly silence that his house emitted. He couldn't stand it anymore, he needed to know what was bothering Zim, he needed things back to normal, the daily routine of them fighting, brawling always trying to outdo each other. Today felt different because everything had been thrown out of wack, he needed to fix it.

He gathered up his courage, his legs finally deciding to respond to his brains command. He strode past the gnomes watching carefully out of the corner of his eyes to see their reaction, but they were still, just like the rest of the house. He reached the door step staring defiantly up a the sign on the door that read men's, his mind still reeled with possibilities, maybe Zim was just down in that underground lab and the robot was with him. But even then there was usually a TV or radio or something going on upstairs. Or maybe he wasn't home, but then where did the crash come from? But none of those possibilities were even close to what he saw.

He reached his hand up slowly and knocked lightly on the door. He expected Zim to scream out something about his stupidity, or that little green dog to answer the door, but there was no sound from inside. He knocked again louder this time and he heard a soft voice from inside. The door moved as if someone were leaning against it and soft barely audible mutters echoed from inside.

"Just a sec."

Dib stepped back slightly from the sound of Zims voice; he was there and he wasn't yelling death threats? The handle of the door rattled slightly and slowly and surely the door creaked open a crack. Dib didn't know what to expect, Zims voice had been so quiet, only just a whisper. It was so unlike him to be so surreal. Zims head popped out from behind the door, his disguise was off and his large magenta eyes were filled with what looked like tears. He looked so small, so weak, so scared, it was the exact opposite of what he normally looked like. Dib couldn't say anything.

"What do you want Dib" Zim asked ever so quietly, it was obvious in his voice that he was struggling to keep his emotions down.

"Zim what's wrong?" Dib blurted back, his eyes growing wide with fascination and a fear of his own.

He had seen eyes like those before, so scared and filled with tears. It was only days after his mother died, and Gaz was still only a baby really. He hadn't known what to do, she was crying and his father wasn't there of course. He couldn't let the death of his own wife get in the way of his science, Dib sometimes wondered if he even knew she was dead. But he had gone into Gazs' room hoping that she would just stop crying, it was obvious she missed their mother almost as much as he did, though she hadn't even known her. He had peeked over the top of her bed and, her eyes, so unlike what they had become after years of neglect; were filled with her tears, so afraid and alone.

Dib snapped himself from the memory and back to Zim, what could make the alien so full of pride, break down into what he was now? Dib peeked past Zim into the oddly coloured living room; it looked as it always did except for the broken vase and the usually loud robot was now quiet and strewn on the floor. Dib again shifted his attention back to Zim his face still blank but his eyes…

"None of your business human." Zim said unenthusiastically.

It was that same monotone that you use when you want exactly the opposite of what you say, Dib used it all the time; he knew what it meant. But he didn't move, he didn't want to help Zim, but at the same time he wanted so bad to just hug him and tell him whatever was bothering him wouldn't anymore. He just hoped above everything that this outburst wouldn't mean the alien was leaving. He didn't want Zim to leave without knowing how bad his life would be without him to bug all the time. Without the challenge, Zim had given his life meaning and there was no way he was going to get it back.

"You've been crying." Dib stated grabbing the door and swinging it open wider to get a better look at Zim

"Irken invaders don't cry Dib." he replied pushing Dib back slightly

"Then what's that water in your eyes?" Dib asked, "And all over your face?"

"This isn't water Dib." Zim shot back narrowing his eyes

"That's right you're allergic to water, so what's that stuff on your face?" Dib asked again reaching out and wiping some of the wet residue on Zims face.

"Don't touch me human!" Zim yelled throwing the door open and waving his fist in Dibs face, "Its none of your business!"

"Well I'm going to make it my business Zim, now tell me." Dib shot back grabbing Zims fist and pushing it down

"What makes you think I'd tell you?"

"Because…" Dib started, why would Zim tell him anything? All the times he had tried to hurt him and destroy him, the threats; the taunts; didn't Zim see that it they were empty; he never meant a word of it.

"And plus you wouldn't understand, how could anyone understand?" He mumbled the last part biting down on his bottom lip, the tears starting to build up in his eyes making them shine like otherworldly gems.

"You'd be surprised…" Dib whispered letting go of Zims fist and stepping back down to the bottom step.

Zims tilted his head to the side slightly, the traces of tears in his eyes disappearing replaced with curiosity like that of a newborn kitten. Without another word and with one last glance Dib turned and ran out of Zims front yard, past the gnomes and ugly little animal things. It was true though, as much as Zim wanted to believe he was alone, the fact was that Dib knew what it was like to suffer. He wasn't sure what he was suffering over but he wasn't alone. Something much worse had happened to him, something that had left him scarred, left him and Gaz scarred for what he was sure would be the rest of their lives on this miserable rock. And at that moment everything he had ever felt towards that something came rushing back like a tidal wave almost knocking him off his feet. Yes he knew what pain was.

Would you like to hear a beach cry out your name for you?

Well that's only the tip of the iceberg you'll find

Zim watched in confusion as Dib ran past his lawn gnomes and down the street until he was nothing more than a spec on the horizon. How would he know, what would he know about being left to die on an alien planet? How could he know the pain and humiliation that he had gone through over the last few hours? He knew nothing of what it was like, but Zim couldn't help but think…

Dib was one of the very few humans, or living creatures for that matter he could relate to. It was true, Dib knew of humiliation, every day the children at the school would taunt and tease him. And though he pretended not to care it was obvious the frustration that the mankind he tried so hard to protect shunned him like they did. It was also true Dib was an outcast, as was he. Again the humanity he was risking his life for everyday thought nothing more of him than the lice that lived in their hair. It was possible Dib knew more about the pain emptiness he was feeling right now than even he was. But it didn't lessen the deep scar that had been left in his pride, never again would he put his trust in something so stupid as a hollow dream and a mountain of lies.

He sighed a heavy sigh full of the confusion and pain he felt at that moment. Why did things have to be so complicated, all he ever wanted was to be an invader, not a big dream, any Irken could have achieved it. But it seemed the gods frowned on him. Since the day that arm brought him to life he was doomed to live the horrible cursed life he was now situated in. He sighed again and retreated back into the dark house, back to the labyrinth of emotions and despair. He glanced down at the broken form of GIR; he looked so dead, it wasn't right.

He slowly walked over to where GIRs' limp body lay and fell to his knees, reaching out and scooping the cold metal body into his arms. He stared at the mangled body for a minuet, at his feet, which looked as if they had been chewed on and his dark lifeless eyes. He felt sad, he felt guilty, he felt remorse, but unlike before it didn't bother him. No tears made it to his eyes, no sob reached his throat; he simply lifted GIR off the floor and took him down to the lab. He sat GIRs broken body down on a metal table and sat down on the large armchair next to it.

He couldn't remember what he wanted to do; everything had become a blur again, not with tears but with so many emotions. It was like a floodgate had been opened, once things had started happening he couldn't stop them, he couldn't stop the surge of emotions that washed over him every time a memory or thought entered his head. It was so alien to him, for so long he had kept these things blocked, hidden behind a brick wall; now that they were out, he didn't know what he was going to do.

He stood up from the chair, turning his back on GIR and, completely forgetting about the broken cyborg, he left the lab. He wandered aimlessly around his 'house' thinking more and more about Dib and what he had meant when he had uttered those last few words. He couldn't get them out of his mind, they kept echoing like a ghost but that wasn't the problem. It was the image that came with the words that scared him; Dibs face, it was the same face he had glared and laughed at every day of his life on Earth, but at that moment it looked so alien he could barely tell who it was uttering those haunting words.

He absently slipped on his disguise and left the base, he couldn't think there, it was much too distracting. He wandered aimlessly around the block (he didn't want to travel too far in case he got lost) but not even the stench of the filthy human streets could get his mind off Dib. He couldn't stop thinking about him, he had never shown any interest in Dib before; he hadn't really cared. But this new realisation, they were so much alike he couldn't help but be curious, what was it that had made Dib so emotional?

He was stranded on Earth until he upgraded the Voot cruiser, it couldn't travel to even the next planet in this Galaxy let alone any others; and it might take a while considering the humans were so uncivilised. It seemed like a good idea to at least try to fit in, despite how much he denied it he stood out like a sore thumb and he knew nothing about human culture; he wasn't going to get very far like that. He needed to know so much more the humans were so hard to figure out. They let their emotions take control of every little thing they do, and at any time, no signal or warning, their attitude can change and they become almost a different creature. Yet this all seems normal to them. Maybe with Dibs help he could figure this out, bit would Dib be willing to help? Would he be willing to seek his help? He had already had his pride scarred, how much worse could it get?

Without noticing it, Zim had managed to find his way to the path out the front of Dibs house. This was the only place in the whole city (apart from the all night store that GIR got those disgusting brainfreezies from) that was familiar to him. How many times had he been here over the course of however long he had spent on earth? How many times had he spied on Dib and his family to find his weaknesses, his flaws? But now, without even asking Dib had handed them to him on a plate; he had the same flaws as every other human, his emotions. It would be so easy to influence him if he could control his emotions, but that was the last thing on his mind.

He stared up at the house; there were no lights on; not a single movement could be detected. Where could they be? As far as Zim knew Dib didn't usually leave the house unless it was for school. Maybe this had something to do with the emotional outbreak Dib had displayed earlier. But what would that have to do with the rest of his family? From what he knew Gaz was even more house prone that Dib, she didn't even go to school half the time she'd rather stay home and play with that toy of hers. What could get them both out of the house at the same time?

Zim looked up at the fading horizon, the palette of colours that the setting sun spread across the sky. Most humans would have though that was incredibly beautiful but that was just smog. He had seen real sunsets, sunsets that showed more colours than even existed. He wanted them again, he wanted the freedom of the universe, he wanted so much more than this pitiful planet, but he knew he must be patient it would only be a matter of time. He spun around at the sound of soft footsteps on the pavement and his eyes met those ever-familiar honey brown orbs that belonged to him rival/soul mate. He stepped back slightly, they were all there, even the father, but neither of them were visible, only Dib and his eyes.

Do you ever look up at the sky above you

And imagine other people living out past the blue?

Dib ran in through the front door slamming it behind him and leaning against it heavily. His lungs burned and his face was wet with sweat, or was it tears? It didn't matter though, he had remembered and nothing else filled his mind. He had remembered but he had forgotten, he hoped they hadn't left without him. He needed to see her; tell her everything that had happened. He dreaded this day; it brought back horrible memories of neglect and broken promises. But he also loved it; it was a chance to finally have someone listen to him without calling him weird or a freak or just plain being ignored.

"You're late…"

Dib glanced up at the sound of Gazs' voice. She looked indifferent to the situation; she always hid everything so well, was he the only one that could see past her masquerade? He turned his attention from Gaz to his father. This was the only day of the year apart from the annual family night out where they were all together. He remembered this same look from last year, the far off guilty look that emitted from the Professor. He had a right to feel guilty, all those broken promises and out right lies he had told them, all the broken dreams of a perfect family. He had destroyed everything their mother had stood for and for what? The world?

"Lets go and get this over with, I don't want to miss my show." Gaz said breaking Dib and Professor Membrane from their thoughts as she grabbed her coat off the hook near the door and lead them out to the street.

Dib followed the two out the front door glaring daggers at his fathers back. Every time this year he would remember just how much he hated his father, he didn't want to think about it too much but everything single little morsel of hate that had accumulated over the year would just burst out at Membranes turned back until it was all gone, waiting to be filled by the year ahead. But this time of year also reminded him how much he missed Gaz. He remembered her when she was young; so open, she had such potential. Guess years of neglect do that to people. But no matter how much they went through they'd always come out together.

The walk to the graveyard wasn't a long one, but the silence and tension that was felt between the three family members was enough to make the trip feel like it was two hundred thousand miles long. When they arrived Dib felt tired among other things and frustrated, but excited; he had so much to tell her. He walked up to the gate where the rose bush climbed and wove itself around the iron bars and plucked on of the thorned flowers off it. It was his tradition to lay one of the brightest roses on her grave, and these ones were always the most colourful. They always bloomed around this time of the year, he never remembered seeing them so bright, it was ironic to him and he didn't know why.

He joined his family at her grave, lowering his head and saying a prayer he had read in a book one time. He had never really learnt anything about religion; he was too young to learn off his mother and well that was enough to say it all. Gaz just threw an old crumpled flower she had picked off a bush while they had passed by mumbling something about 'thanks for leaving us with him' and then turning to leave. Dib shook his head and watched her back as she disappeared over the small knoll in the middle of the graveyard. He knew she was hurting, he knew so well that she just wanted to scream and cry and fall to her knees begging for a hand to hod her own. He felt like that all the time; but Gaz, she was so full of pride, even more so than Zim maybe, she would never be caught doing that if it killed her in the end.

He now turned his attention to his father, they hadn't exchanged a word all day, like most days but wasn't it normal for family members to comfort each other in their times of grieving? Especially a father to his son, but then again nothing was right in his 'family'. It didn't take long for him this year, he merely set down this single white flower in his hand and walked off after Gaz. It was drifting further and further, she was losing her grip on him, and she had lost it on Gaz before she even had it. What was keeping them together?

He remembered the year after she had died his father had bought millions of wreaths of flowers and had thm placed on every vacant spot around her grave, but Dib know knew why. It wasn't because he was sad that she was gone, it wasn't because he missed her; it was because he felt guilty for leaving her to die while he tended to his precious world. Now the same was happening to him, his world was slowly dying and he didn't notice. Or did he? He buried himself so far into his science it was a surprise he even remembered to breathe. And the same was happening to his children, but he payed as much attention to them as he had to her, it wasn't long now…

Dib grit his teeth as he watched his fathers back disappear over the same knoll. He knew they would wait for him in their silence, he sincerely couldn't remember the last time they had had a conversation that lasted more than thirty seconds. He'd take his time this time, but they'd wait, he didn't know why, maybe it was their way of showing respect for the lingering feelings he had for his dead mother, maybe it was just guilt that they had lost theirs. Whatever it was he was going to make them suffer and take his time.

He knelt down next to her grave reading the fading writing on her once bright and polished tombstone.

'Dearly departed wife and mother, we will forever grieve the day she left our lives'

What irony, whoever wrote that didn't know his family very well. Forever grieve, they'd already stopped grieving and she'd only been dead for a few years. If only that poor fool had known the truth he'd be as sick to the stomach as Dib was every year. He brushed the thought aside with a shake of his head, he hated thinking about his family like that, but they did bring it on themselves. He sat down beside the tombstone concentrating his attention on the rose. He carefully peeled each thorn off with his fingernails. This was another tradition of his, his mother, from what he can remember, was the most perfect woman he had seen. There was no way he would out a thorny rose on her grave, that would be almost as bad as Gaz and her crumpled flower. He wanted everything to be exactly like her, so clean and pure and smelling like roses and honey. He didn't know how he remembered what she smelled like, it was just one of those things that get stuck in your head and you know you'll never forget for as long as you live.

Once he had finished pulling the thorns off the roses he set it down beside the flower (tulip that's what it was called) that membrane had put there. He shuffled to kneel down in front of her grave, a single tear making it too his eyes. This was the part he hated the most, but also the part he relished. He laid his hand on the cold stone of her grave and started whispering to her softly.

"I miss you mamma…" He started already feeling the tears wash over him, "You don't have any idea what its like, I'm so alone with out you…"

He bit down hard on his lip swallowing the lump that had knotted itself in his throat. He had so many things to say he didn't know where to start, and if he did start weather he'd be able to stop.

"I wish so bad you were still here, it just gets worse and worse. Mamma I feel so useless, everyone hates me, you know I don't have a single friend at school mamma, you know that Dad and Gaz, they hate you know. They don't care anymore and I can feel them slipping away."

He breathed in deep still managing to keep his tears at bay. He swallowed again trying to regain some of the moisture in his mouth. He could feel his whole body shaking slightly it was like this every year.

"I don't know what I'm doing here, mamma, you probably won't listen like everyone else… Please give me a sign that you are, mamma I have so much to tell you, I found an alien, I actually have proof! … But what does it matter?"

He felt the tears slip from his eyes now, the cool wet moisture on his burning face. He wanted so badly for her to answer him, at least once, for her to give him a sign that she's not just like everyone else he'd met. That she cared. Every year he would keep everything bottled up until this day when he could just let everything go. But it was harder this year, was he losing her too?

"Don't mamma don't go, I need you. Please listen to me, I need you, everything is terrible, why did you have to die? Why did you have yo leave us here all alone? Mamma, don't you know that Gaz is so scared? I can tell you that, I'm the only one that knows. And don't you know that dad doesn't care about us? And don't you know that since you're gone I'm left alone in the dark? Please mamma listen."

Again the tears came harder and faster, followed by wracking sobs that reverberated around his body until he was a crying shaking heap. He sat back and drew his knees up to his face leaning his forehead against them and crying until his throat throbbed and his eyes stung. Didn't she know any of this? If she knew wouldn't she listen? He didn't understand, it had been so much easier before, why was it so hard. It was comforting last year, knowing that she was listening to him, letting him talk his mouth off about his paranormal discoveries; about Gaz and Membrane. But now she had turned her back on him like everyone else.

He bit down on his bottom lip until he was sure he could taste blood. His world was crashing down around him and there was not a single soul that could save him. He felt his head spin and his heart jump in his chest at the mental image he got from that thought. But somewhere amongst the blackness and broken thoughts that swirled like a hurricane inside his mind a single image of Zim floated in settling it in the front of his brain.

He glanced up at the tombstone and the thornless rose that sat atop it. He still had Zim. He forgot about Zim, he had forgotten everything but the grief and helplessness that surrounded him. He choked back another sob wiping the tears away from his eyes and standing up. He still had a chance, a shining golden ray of hope. He just hoped to every god he had read about that Zim didn't abuse him the way everything else had. Now that he thought of it, it was foolish putting his hope in something so unreliable. Zim was an alien and he was someone trying to catch and expose aliens, they were the exact opposite but that didn't matter. He felt something different about Zim, something in common.

He glanced again at the tombstone and Zim automatically flew from his mind. How could he possibly put his trust in anything when it had been bruised and battered to the point of no return? Was he just blindly walking around leaning against walls that never existed? But he had to hope for something, if he didn't what would his life be? A single monotonous routine of waking eating and sleeping? He wanted more, he wanted to escape the life that everyone ended up in. that's why he wanted Zim, and that's why he wanted the stars.

**

AN: Hello everyone, I know all you ZAGR fans are going to come with your torches and pitchforks to banish me to a land full of toenail clippings and itchy noses but hey its not that bad is it? And you anti slash or whatever will as well, but there's not even anything yet, I saved that for the next part. Yes there will be a part two, the poem does continue, I just took too long on this and it was much too long I ramble much too much. But did it make you cry? I hope so, because its 12:07 am and I have to go to school and study for math tomorrow and get yelled at by my SPD partner for not showing up for practice today (I mean yesterday) and I wasn't really in a teary mood but I wanted so bad for this to be finished that I just put in anything!!! Anyway enough of that, part two will be a long way away I'm just warning you for any people that read this. Unless I get it done by Friday its not going to be up until February sometime. I'm going to Japan and I can't really write and submit stuph there so you see my dilemma? I hoped you enjoy and if you've read this far in my ramblings I feel very sorry for you. Just a last warning part two is major ZADR, slash, Yaoi whatever you want to call it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or any related characters; they belong to Johnen Vasquez and so forth. The Poem Other Worldly Invitation belongs to Blitzkrieg, ^-^ thank you Blitzkrieg