Just a very short story. Please tell me what you think.
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me. I do not make or intend to make any profit from this work.
Myka my darling,
I made a mistake. I made the worst mistake in my life.
When I left to hide the astrolabe there wasn't much to do. There was nothing interesting going on, nothing to distract me. So all I could do was think, mostly about you. I thought about you sitting in the corner of your room so lost in your book you don't even notice if someone is coming inside. I thought about you falling asleep during our movie nights. Your hair falling into your face, dancing on your breath. That one time I started to drift off and you pressed the lightest kiss on my forehead. After that I couldn't sleep at all that night. I still can't sleep today when I'm thinking about it.
I couldn't wait to come back to you.
But we both know that nothing good ever comes of me being left alone with my thoughts too long. I remembered the way you looked at us, Claudia, Pete, me, even Artie, when you were worried something might happen, that we might get hurt. You are a good friend, Myka. To all of us.
There is this diner here that has surprisingly good tea and I was sitting there drinking tea when a girl came up to me and asked me if I knew anything about gravity. She was doing a project for school. One day she introduced my to her father before conveniently disappearing with a friend right afterwards. You are right, of course, she is very much like Christina. He was funny and handsome and somehow I stayed. Looks like I regressed from the anger to the denial stage of grief (though I am convinced that the whole model is rubbish).
Then you turned up here and seeing you made all my bitterness seem like madness. It is not your fault after all. And then when you said goodbye you looked at me and it was not at all like you look at the others.
I became so afraid. You almost died the last time I saw you. In that moment I knew if I allowed myself to feel more for you and something happened to you I would not recover. So I froze and let you leave. No, that's not right. I send you away. But when I saw the tears in your eyes as you drove away, I knew I was wrong. I never meant to hurt you and I should have told you that I love you.
I love you Myka. I love you. I love you. I love you. And I don't care if it will be my undoing.
I am, with all my heart, yours,
Helena
