I walked back into my apartment a week after my attempted suicide. Grissom walked in behind me with a bag. He closed the door watching me look around then I turned to him.
"How do you feel?" He asked
"Tired." I said
He set my bag down walking over to me.
"You should get some rest."
I nodded feeling his hands on my arms.
"This is real?" I asked
"You keep asking that." He said, raising his hands to my cheeks.
"I know because it's like I am in a dream."
"You're not in a dream." He said, smiling faintly.
He leaned in kissing me. As he moved back I caught his lips again eagerly. He slowly moved opening his eyes looking at me.
"I have to go to the lab, but I will be back."
"Are you sure you want to?" I asked
He smiled nodding. I let him go watching as he walked to the door glancing at me before leaving.
I sighed looking around my place. Hours later I woke to a knocking getting up I went to the door opening it seeing Grissom with take out.
"Delivery." He said
I smiled letting him in. We ate on the couch watching a movie. I leaned back touching my stomach grimacing.
"I think I am going to throw up. I ate to much."
"I am glad to see you are eating." He said, wiping his mouth.
His arm went around my shoulders pulling me to him. I sighed relaxing against his chest feeling his fingers go through my hair.
"I tried calling my mother." I said
"Do you think that was wise?"
"I thought she would want to know, but then I decided not to."
"Why?" He asked, before kissing my head.
"Your supposed to call your parents with good news not bad news."
"It is good news that you lived."
"Yes." I said
He kissed my head again smoothing my hair. I looked at his pants lost in thought.
"Will you stay with me?"
"Yes." He said
I got up smiling pulling him up leading him to the bedroom. A few minutes later we laid kissing in bed. Grissom let me roll him over so I was on top. I laid over him kissing his neck and lips. He sighed as I kissed his chest. I stopped holding my body up with my arms on either side of him. He looked up at me breathing faster as I remained calm.
"What's…wrong?" He asked
"What happens after this?"
"Your asking me now?"
"I want to know." I said
"Sara, I am not going to leave you. I love you."
"Why don't we get married?"
"Married? You want to be married to me?"
"Yes, if you love me then marriage is the next step."
"Honey, you just came back from the hospital. We have been with each other for a week. I do want to pursue marriage, but we both need time."
He touched my leg looking at me. I moved off him sitting on the side of the bed not facing him.
"What about Sophia?"
Grissom rubbed his head then he sat up moving over to me.
"She and I agreed to end the engagement." He said, placing his hand on my bare back. "I will never hurt you again. I came close to losing you and it was a wakeup call for me. I love you so much."
I continued to look down feeling him move behind me moving my hair kissing my neck, shoulder and ear. Closing my eyes I moved my head towards him kissing him with passion. He moved back on the bed pulling me against him.
Grissom woke feeling refreshed. He looked at the clock on his side seeing it was still early. He sighed putting his head against mine closing his eyes. A gurgle in his stomach reminded him it was breakfast plus the call of nature was getting stronger every minute. He slowly moved feeling me try to grab him to make him stay. When he finally got free I grumbled moving to my side. He marveled at my pale back. The call broke his concentration making him run to the bathroom. I moved turning seeing him dressed with a cup of coffee in his hand.
"Is that for me?"
"Yes." He said, sitting on the bed watching me hold the blanket while sitting up. I took the cup sipping it looking at him. "I made you breakfast."
I blew into the cup watching him move closer touching my messy hair.
"You are beautiful." He said
I lowered my cup looking at him.
"Gris, this is hard to take all these compliments you are throwing out. Could we take it slow?"
"You are Sara." He said, gazing at me.
I looked down feeling tears come down my cheeks. I put my hand up to my face starting to cry. He took my cup placing it on the bedside table before moving over holding me.
"I'm sorry." He said
"I just can't…believe this is…happening!" I said
"It's all right." He said
He let me cry against him. I stopped after half an hour remembering he made me breakfast. We went out to eat at the counter and then it was time for him to leave.
"Will you be all right?" He asked
"I think so. When can I work?" I asked
"Not for a while."
"You are going to be shorthanded."
"Sara, you need to take it easy. I will allow you back after this week."
"Fine." I said
He kissed me then went out the door.
As he entered the building he saw Ecklie looking less than pleased waiting at the front desk.
"Conrad, how are things?" He asked
"Not good, can we talk now?"
"Yes."
Grissom could tell this was not going to a social visit as Ecklie slammed the door to his office before sitting at his desk.
"Something wrong?" Grissom asked
"You know that a sexual relationship with a coworker is prohibited."
"Yes, I do."
"You also know that it can be grounds for dismissal."
"Yes, why?"
"I found out that you are having relationship with Sara Sidle." Ecklie said
Grissom flexed his jaw muscles.
"Gil, you know what trouble this causes. It's either you or her that has to leave."
Grissom came to my apartment looking troubled about something. He sat on the couch rubbing his head.
"Migraine?" I asked
"Yes."
I made him lie down on the couch. He closed his eyes trying to relax. I sat down leaning over him.
"Hard shift?"
"Not especially. I had a meeting with Ecklie before work."
"What did he want?"
He looked at me touching my cheek.
"He told me that either you or I have to leave."
I sat up watching his hand drop onto his stomach.
"You mean leave the lab?"
"Yes, he found out that we are in a relationship and it is prohibited."
I looked down as he sat up touching my hand.
"Sara, I am not worried about this. If I lose my job, I can do lectures."
"No, you can't leave. It's not just me that counts on you."
"Then what do you want to do?" He asked
I sighed looking at him.
"No." He said "I won't let you."
"Gris moving to day shift is a good idea. He can't touch us."
"I want you with me." He said
I moved over to him putting my cheek against his chest.
"You know what that would mean I don't want you to go. I will move to day shift and he will leave us alone."
He put his arms around me holding me tightly. I moved to day shift working hours and I had to get used to the daylight hours. Grissom saw me maybe half an hour each day.
Sophia stood beside the body of a woman on a train track on a bridge. I walked over dropping my case looking at the woman lying half on and off the track.
"Hey Sara." Sophia said
"Hey, what do we have?"
"Woman, mid-thirties, married, no identification. She has a laceration on her neck possibly a botched suicide." She said
I put on my gloves reaching down moving the woman's hair seeing the cut on her neck. Sophia wiped her head.
"It's hot today."
"I know." I said "Look's like she has a gash on her head."
Sophia knelt down looking at the gash hidden amongst the woman's hair in the back. I looked at Sophia as she looked at the wound.
"It's deep, probably from a screwdriver, or the back of a hammer." She said
"I think a hammer is the best guess." I said, moving my eyes over her body. Sophia stood looking away then she looked at me.
"Sara, I am glad you are okay."
I looked up at her then at the body.
"Thank's."
"Look, I know this is not the right time, but I might have told Ecklie about you two." She said, fidgeting. I stood looking at her forgetting about the body. "He overheard a conversation."
"Who were you talking to?"
"Catherine, he just walked by.
"You were talking to Catherine about Grissom and I with Ecklie walking by?"
"Yes, I said I was sorry." She said
I sighed looking down.
"You know what? It….doesn't matter….just forget it." I said, bending down to look at the body.
"Okay." She said, walking away.
Grissom went into his office noticing Sophia coming in.
"Hey." She said, quietly.
"Hi." He said
"How's it going?" She asked
"Busy."
"Yeah, it's that time a year." She said "I saw Sara, she looks better."
"What did you need?" He asked, sitting in his chair.
"I think Ecklie overheard about you and Sara from me and I wanted to apologize." She said
"Well we live and learn. Sara and I both understand the issue."
"I know." She said, looking down. "So how is that going?"
"Good." He said
"Great, I should go."
"Sophia?"
She turned looking at him.
"How are you really doing?"
"I'm fine. I won't lie and say it hasn't been hard, but I think I will be all right." She said
"I hope….you find someone."
"I might have…Nick asked me out." She smiled
He watched her leave then he sat back in his chair sighing. I walked over to his office after shift seeing he was gone. I went to his desk sitting in his chair relaxing. I closed my eyes listening to the quiet. Grissom walked in stopping as he saw me in his chair dozing. He set his stuff down on the desk walking over leaning down kissing my head. I moved jumping seeing him.
"You okay?" He asked, smiling a little.
"Yeah." I said, standing. "Sorry."
"That's all right." He said
He pulled me to him for a hug.
"How was your day?" He asked
"Hard." I said
"Why?"
"I don't know. I guess I miss you."
"I miss you to."
Nick came in looking upset. I looked at him as Grissom turned around.
"Hi Sara."
"Hi."
"Ah Grissom, I think you should come with me a second."
"What's wrong?"
Nick looked at me then at him.
"Could you come?"
"All right." He said, letting me go to walk out with him. I sat back down waiting when I saw the hallway lights blink on and off hearing an alarm sound. I ran out into the hallway seeing dense smoke coming from the hallway. I coughed seeing people running by. Grissom ran over to me covering his mouth.
"What's happening?" I asked
"A fire broke out." He said, pulling me through the smoke to get to the exit. Suddenly an explosion shook the building. I lifted my head seeing bodies and dark smoke. I felt my body ache as I coughed trying to move. Others around me were waking trying to move. The sprinklers went off soaking everyone. Grissom got up looking around at people. Brass and Catherine ran in yelling for everyone to get out. Grissom ran over grabbing me pulling me out to the air then he disappeared. I sat on the curb looking down at my arm that was bleeding from a cut. For a while I watched people rush by. Ambulances and the fire department came in. Grissom helped roll a stretcher out to the ambulance as he looked around coughing. He saw me sitting alone and walked over kneeling down.
"Sara, are you okay?"
"Fine." I said
He noticed my pained expression and my pale skin. Looking down he saw I had taken off my light gray coat and wrapped it around my arm. I looked down as he slowly unwrapped the fabric seeing the cut.
"Okay we need to get this looked at." He said
"Are you okay?" I asked, touching his cheek.
"I'm fine." He said "Let's concentrate on you."
"We should help with the cleanup." I said, looking around.
"Honey, I want to get this cut looked at." He said, helping me up. I let him lead me over to an ambulance. "Can you help us please?"
The EMT walked over checking out my cut. Grissom squeezed my arm then he walked by. The EMT put a bandage over my arm as Grissom walked over.
"How is she?" He asked
"I had to stitch her arm. She is in shock, but other than that she will be fine." The man said
I stared down feeling Grissom touch my leg as he knelt down to look me in the eye.
"I will take you home."
We drove to his place where I laid down on his bed as he smoothed my hair watching me sleep. He walked out later into his living room going to his office. Opening his safe on the wall he took out a small box looking at it. I woke hours later getting up seeing him standing talking on his phone in the living room. He saw me coming out and said something on the phone hanging up. I noticed he was fidgety.
"What's wrong?" I asked
"Sit down, Sara." He said
"Why, did something happen?"
"No, I just want to talk to you."
Slowly walking over to the couch I watched him come over sitting on the coffee table in front of me taking my hands.
"Sara, when I saw you for the first time I was struck by your beauty. Every time I saw you I was struck all over again. There isn't anyone that I trust more or love. That being said I have something for you." He said, taking out a small black box out if his pants pocket handing it to me. I looked at him in shock watching him open the box for me to see the diamond ring inside. "I want to be happy now. Will you marry me?"
I opened my mouth looking at the ring. My stomach recoiled and I gave him back the box running out of the room to the bathroom throwing up. He knocked calling my name as I continued to throw up. I opened the door pale and sweating. Grissom looked at me worried.
"That wasn't the reaction I was looking for." He said
"I'm…sorry…it's just….a shock." I said
"You okay?"
I put him hand to my mouth again only this time I could not breathe. He put a hand on my arm as I started hyperventilating.
"Sara, just breathe slowly." He said
I was taken to the bed where I crawled into a ball breathing fast. Grissom rubbed my back saying comforting things. It took some time, but I was able to calm down. Grissom kissed my head as he leaned me back against him watching me take his hand.
"I don't know why I am reacting this way." I said
"It's okay." He said "I have that effect on people."
I smiled faintly kissing his hand.
"I want my ring please." I said, holding out my hand. He placed it in my hand and I lifted it up looking at it.
"It was my mothers." He said
"I love it." I said, sliding it on my finger. He lifted my hand up kissing it.
My arm healed nicely as the weeks went on. One Friday I sat in the lounge sipping coffee while looking at the news on the TV. Grissom came in looking at me concerned.
"Hey." I said
He walked over moving my head to the side seeing the small bandage on my temple.
"What happened?"
"I tripped its fine." I said
"How did you trip?"
"How does anyone trip? It just happened." I said "You worry to much."
"I don't worry enough." He said, walking over to get some coffee. "Is your shift over?"
"Yeah, I was actually waiting on you." I said, looking at the TV again.
"We'll have to visit fast I have a meeting." He said
"Never mind then what I have to say will take longer than a minute." I said, smiling.
"Sorry." He said, as he walked out the door.
He came home seeing me dressed ready to work. I grabbed my keys and walked over to the door smiling when he grabbed me pulling my body against him.
"You are making me late." I said
"I don't care." He said, kissing me.
I moved back looking at him.
"You had better go to bed."
"I will."
I kissed him again then walked out. He sighed looking around the quiet house. When I came home he was working at his desk in his office.
"I didn't know you had an evening off." I said
"Surprise!" He said
I smiled walking over to where he sat putting my lips on his ear. He tried to concentrate on the email he was writing.
"Honey, your distracting me." He said
"Am I?" I said, chuckling.
Sighing he gave up pulling me around to sit on his lap as he attacked me with kisses.
"I was thinking you should give up your place and move here." He said, as he held me.
"Would you be able to handle a person here all the time?"
"I think I can." He said
"Okay, now do you feel like take out?"
"Yes."
I laughed as he tried to keep me from getting up. I got up swatting his arm walking away. He smiled watching me content.
Later we laid on his couch. He dozed as I flipped the channels trying to find a movie. I set the remote down sighing as I rolled over looking at him. He seemed very relaxed and peaceful. His breathing was slow. I put my head against his chest listening to his heartbeat.
"Mrs. Sara Grissom." I whispered "Mrs. Sara Sidle-Grissom."
"Hmm?" Grissom said, moving his head. "Did you say something?"
I looked up at him seeing his eyes still closed.
"No."
He sighed putting his head to the side stilling. I looked at him then put my head back on his chest.
"I hope this isn't a dream." I whispered "If it is I don't want to wake up."
I closed my eyes putting my arm around his waist happy to be on the couch with the man I loved.
Grissom and I married a month later then we had a small reception at a restaurant. With no time for a honeymoon we decided to have one later on when things calmed down. I went to a crime scene in the desert on a very hot day. Brass waited beside the body. I walked over seeing a man in a Hawaiian shirt lying in his back with a pickaxe sticking out of his chest.
"Wow!" I said, looking down at the man. "This is new."
"Yeah." Brass said
"Who found him?" I asked
"Some hikers."
"Grissom would love this." I said
"I still cringe when he put at piece of dirt in his mouth." He said
I shook my head smiling.
"He's a character." I said, looking for some identification on the man.
I took out his wallet from his back pants pocket. Brass watched me open it looking for cards.
"This man must be a businessman. Duncan Crosby, 45, lives in Ohio."
"Wonder what he is doing out here?"
I looked at the man thinking. A truck driving towards us caught our attention. Brass watched as the truck stopped and a man in a blood soaked tank top came out with a shot gun.
"Woah!" Brass yelled, taking out his gun pointing it at him. "Put the gun down sir!"
I stood taking my gun out pointing at the man as the two cops did to the left of us. He man shook as he held the gun straight at us. I swallowed watching his eyes seeing they were large and wild.
"I killed that man!" He yelled
"Put the gun down!" Brass said
"He stole my wife!"
"I don't care what he did. I just want you to slowly put the gun down!"
He shook sweating as he looked over at me.
"Put the gun down right now or we shoot!"
"Your not listening!"
"I am going to count to three!"
"I have nothing to lose!" He said
"One!" Brass shouted
I looked at the man as he looked at me. I slowly shook my head at him. He contorted his face almost sobbing.
"Two!" Brass said "Put the gun down now!"
"Go to Hell!" The man shouted
Brass and his men emptied their guns into him. He fell back dropping the gun to the ground. I watched them walk over slowly checking out the man. My heart was racing as I dropped my gun staring at the man. I slowly walked over to the man looking at the blood flowing out of his body.
Grissom walked into the locker room seeing me sitting alone on a bench looking at the lockers. He walked over sitting down beside me glancing at me as he sat in silence. I looked down leaning forwards then I looked at him.
"I watched a man die today."
"Brass told me."
I nodded looking down.
"He lost his wife and killed the man that stole her." I said "Then he decided to die."
I sighed looking at him.
"He just…gave up."
Grissom nodded looking down.
"How do you stop seeing that?"
"It takes time." He said
"I thought I could see his heart stopping. It makes you think about…life and death."
"I know."
I slowly stood seeing him stand facing me. He hugged me to him putting his hand through my hair.
"You just need to step away. Just step away and go home, take a bubble bath and rest." He said
I let him go moving back nodding as he touched my cheek searching my eyes.
"I know that doesn't sound like the thing to do, but right now you need it."
"I will."
"Good."
I went home going to bed. I moved a few hours later feeling something wet at my legs. Moving I sat up turning on the light gasping as I pulled down the blanket seeing blood, so much blood. Screaming I got out of bed looking at it.
Grissom came home to a quiet house. He thought it was odd since my car was still there.
"Sara?"
He threw his keys on the counter walking around looking for me. Entering the bedroom he saw the bed had been changed and I was sitting on my side with my back to him.
"Sara?" He called, walking over to me. I sat looking at the wall very pale in my work clothes. "Honey, you're going to be late. What's wrong?"
He looked at me as my chin trembled and tears went down my cheek.
"Sara, you okay?"
I got up walking out to the living room going to the kitchen counter. Grissom walked over watching me silently cry.
"Please tell me what's wrong?" He said
"Gris…..I...had…a miscarriage."
"What?" He asked, touching my arm. I turned looking at him.
"I had…a miscarriage."
"When?"
"Last night."
"Why didn't you call me?" He asked
"I….was…scared."
"Of me?"
"No…I just…didn't know."
He hugged me feeling me cry against him.
"It's all right, honey. I love you. We can try again."
I lifted my head looking at him.
"You…want one?"
"Whatever you want or if you don't want then that is fine with me."
I wiped my cheek.
"I…don't know."
"We have all the time in the world to decide." He said
I nodded hugging him again. He pulled me to him tightly looking down sadly.
