IGGY
I sit down and close my eyes. I know it doesn't change anything, but, at least this way, somehow, I feel normal. I breathe once and then again, my feet well placed on to cold ground, my arms crossed and my back straightened.
I feel the light touch of people walking around me, people I sincerely don't care abou.t Tiny breezes crash against me as they rush by. I concentrate on the odors. There's voices, many of course, each one easily recognizable, but I prefer concentrating on the smells, it makes it more entertaining.
There are some unpleasant smells and others, for some reason, quiet nice. Some unknown, some recognizable, some basically forgettable.
With my eyes still closed, I keep on waiting, trying to recognize the rhythms of the steps, the lavish symphonies, as well as the disordered. I still though, concentrate my mind more on the smells. Strawberries, chocolate, dust, grass, new car, sweat, rain, dirt… On and on, people keep on walking close by, yet I still can't find you.
I breathe deeply, this time only sighing, noticing that people are no longer passing by. The steps had diminished, the chats only increase on both numbers and volume.
I'm still not able to find you.
The bell rings and the teacher comes in. The door shuts closed behind the trail of cigarette smoke.
Some decide to quiet down while some others keep on with their talking, ignoring the authority's presence. The man ignoring everybody else, does straight to the front of the room and begins to write on the board. Not many notice, but the shrieking of the wasted markers sliding against the surface is tediously annoying.
I tell myself that I have to give up for the day, it's not the first time that you don't come to school, after all you do hate it. I tell myself to not mind, after all, I know that you don't care if you see me or not, yet disappointment drowns me.
The teacher begins to talk about last week's topics. I already know them by memory, so I just sit in silence and count the seconds in my head. Four hundred and twenty eight seconds later you come storming into the room.
The first thing I notice is your smell. Peculiar, somehow tasty and slightly chilly. Cologne, maybe, or pure essence? "Sorry, sir, I missed the bus." That's always your explanation. I hear your breath a bit accelerated, you ran, and also smell a dim smell of sweat, but it's not unpleasant like most. You are standing by the door and you close it right behind you, waiting for permission to walk over to your seat. The teacher grunts, and he must have nodded, for your head to your seat. When you walk by me you touch my shoulder. I'm not sure it it's my head playing tricks on me or if you really rubbed against me. In the moment, I don't care, I just smile.
Once I realize that someone, or even you, might have seen my reaction, I dim my joy down. Still, I can't resist. I turn my head slightly to the right to catch your scent before it mixes away in the air.
The class continues and I try to count again, but I find myself interrupted by your voice. Your voice is deep and soft, almost as if you were dragging it around, direct and serious. You ask something about the topic. I am tempted to answer, but just as I open my mouth another student takes it away from me. You thank her and I go back to my counting.
I stop for a moment and count the voices that are on the classroom, then I count the once that come from your side of the room. I'm sitting in the back, for you normally always take a seat in the back. You are two chairs in front of me and to the right, too far to be able to talk to you.
I let the minutes pass.
The bell rings and I wait for everyone to leave. I take out my white cane from my bag and stand up. I hear your voice, yours as well as the teacher's. I go to a sudden stop, though, worrying of being too obvious, I continue towards the door. I open it and go to the hall. I try to pay attention to the noises from everyone outside so I don't crash into anybody. I wait a bit, I wait for you, but the voices begin to die out and I notice that I might be late for my next class.
It usually never happens, I'm very careful about it, and when it happens, the person I crash into stops to help me. This time, though, he doesn't. A boy, who smells of deodorant pushes me against the wall and walks away. Accidentally or not, it's strong. It gets me mad, not that angry, but I decide to speak out, "Watch out man." I shake it off but can't walk. I'm stunned again by that special smell. Your smell. I wait.
"Hey, Iggy, aren't you supposed to have someone walk you to your classes?" Your voice, again, so good.
I get nervous but I don't let it show. "Yeah, well, she asked me once if I could do it alone, and I accidentally told her that I could. She forgot about my existence ever since." I sigh, "I can do it by myself though, it's just everyone else's problem that they can't see where they are going." I have probably said too much, but I don't panic, for you juggle along.
"Well, I know that guy, I'll ask him to be more careful then."
"Nah, that's okay, I can handle it."
I decide to head to my classroom now, I know the bell will ring soon. Being blind at this school won't give you special privileges. I think I have left you behind yet your footsteps follow alongside mine. I smile, so I decide to turn away from you.
"So, do you have a partner for the project yet?" Your voices is soothing.
"What project?"
"You weren't paying attention in class, were you?" Your tone is playful, something I don't notice on your voice often, melodic almost, "I asked Mr. Rider if we could work on It together. He said that it's okay as long as we both put equal effort on the paper."
I smile, both excitement and shame run through my head, "I really don't know what project you're talking about."
"Is that a yes, though?" I picture you smiling.
"Yes, of course."
"Alright then, we'll talk later?" You out your arm on my shoulder and then walk away.
You come to me later during the day, right before our Math class starts, and before you can say anything I ask you where you live. You quickly answer me, but the teacher interrupts us. You can't say anything after that and you take your seat. The entire class I wait anxiously, and at the very end you wait with me for everyone else to leave.
"So, is it okay if we go to your house after school today?"
"Yeah no problem, we'll have to walk, though, is that alright?" Your breath now smells of peppermint.
"No problem, I will meet you by the statue after school, okay?"
"Yes, I will be there."
