Disclaimer: I Do Not Own LWD But I Do Own The Characters That Aren't In The Show.
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
Dear Diary,
I dyed my hair chocolate brown while everyone was asleep. It came out really nice. I've wanted to do this for so long I've had the dye for how many weeks?
…I can't take this anymore…I can't keep pretending I'm okay…
He cheated on me, Diary. He cheated on me with Kendra. After promising never to hurt me Derek cheats on me with his ex-girlfriend. I caught them together in his room. I was speechless to say the least.
When we finally spoke he said it was because I was too demanding. That my needs for perfection made him feel like he was never good enough. He had become resentful of the fact that I was trying to change him. Not only that, but he informed me that the family was so sick and tired of my rules and manifestos. He said he loved me but that wasn't good enough anymore. That was a week ago and I haven't felt the need or desire to come out of my room since.
Summer vacation just started so it's not like I'm missing anything important. I actually do come out when no one else is around or when they're asleep. I just don't have the strength to see him. It's bad enough that I can hear him in his room.
You should have heard us that day diary, we were screaming so loud that our parents heard the whole thing. They're still waiting for answers.
Since then Derek has apologized, profusely I might add, through my locked door and e-mails but it's not him I'm mad at it's me. I'm mad at myself because I know he's right. I have issues Diary, and I'm not talking about magazine subscriptions.
I know the rest family's worried about me my mother and sister have tried to talk to me several times but I can't let them see me like this. Not when I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. I need to resolve these problems and the last thing I need is them trying to convince me that nothing's wrong with me.
What scares me the most is, the fight that Derek and I had was almost identical to the fight my mom and dad had before they divorced. I don't want to end up like that. I love my mother but her life is not for me. I need answers and since I know that my mother won't tell me what went wrong in her marriage to my father…
In her eyes dad did everything wrong and I'm not sure if that was true anymore. He had been a great father to Lizzy and me. Sure he was a workaholic but I remember him being good to mom.
My mom, Nora, isn't very good at accepting her faults and it's clear that, that's where I got my personality from. I need to know exactly what went wrong with my parent's marriage so that my future doesn't tell the same story. I know it sounds over-dramatic but loosing Derek killed me and I'm not willing to go through it again. In my opinion, there's only one person I can turn to for help. A man I haven't seen in almost two years, my father.
I want to state for the record that this is not a smart idea but it's all I got. It's 3 in the morning. I'm going to sneak out of the house and drive to see my dad in Toronto. I know that in pervious entries I mentioned he worked in New York but, a while ago he returned to Toronto because another law firm offered him more money and a partnership. Okay Diary, I'm leaving now…wish me luck. –Casey M.
Casey closed her diary and stuffed it in her duffle bag.
'The last thing I need is anyone finding it'
She thought to herself as she searched the room for things she might need. She made sure to remove any and all clues as to where she might be, even from her computer. Then she quietly made her way downstairs into the kitchen and left a note she had written for them. She thought about leaving something special for Derek but then decided against it. She wasn't doing this for him; she was doing it for her. Casey walked over to the key rack and pulled her mother's car keys. With that she walked to the front door turned back blew a kiss to her family and left for Toronto.
Tell me what you think! Please review, reviews make me wanna write more…ehhh
