Well, not much to say. This is a two part collaboration between two similar minds, who should probably think twice before even attempting to make a Homestuck FanFiction. So, I'd like to say enjoy, but I highly doubt that you will. So, enjoy our try.


The rhythmic thudding of her heartbeat softly resounded in his dreams, and it was basically the only thing keeping him asleep. Beautiful splashes of violent neon colors, against a dark, heated background flared violently to life for every pulsating beat that he heard. Clockwork gears rotated with every new splash, along with spurts of magma that bursts from the lake of fire. This was where he usually went during his re-visits of the past. It was his favorite memory, honestly. Just as he had realized it had started, it had stopped. The colors fade, the rhythmic beat that had once been there is replaced by a single padded "thud" as his head hit the sheets. "Mmph...," He muffles into the bed, trying to reclaim the lost heart beat with wandering hands. At last, he reaches his goal, and he feels triumphant for the slightest bit of time... until, he realizes it was just her pillow. God damn it.

He lifts his head up and groggily searches the room, finally laying eyes on Nepeta, who was in the corner of the room...

Getting dressed for work. He flips himself on to his back, finally accepting the loss of his precious sleep. "This is bull shit, working on a Saturday. It's like God took a primordial shit on the best day of the week, luring unsuspecting workers with the promise of a shitty pay check to keep in his fucking sports-ball game of Hell," He mutters, not realizing that he was actually quite a bit louder than he had previously thought.


It was still dark when Nepeta got up. You know, that ungodly time of day where even the birds didn't chirp, the dogs that belonged to the neighbor next door didn't scratch the door to go outside, where new mothers and fathers finally got to go to bed after a long night of playing Who's-Going-To-Check-On-The-Baby-Now. Basically, it was early. Especially for Nepeta Leijon, who was still kind of used to the idea of sleeping while the Sun was up and hunting while it was still dark. The small troll sighs a bit, remembering when life was that simple. She kind of preferred it to this lifestyle. Old habits die hard, and this habit was like those annoying bosses in games that have two life bars and can heal themselves. Nepeta shook her head and slipped off her oversized pajama top. She put on a more fitted t-shirt and then shimmied out of her large pajama bottoms to replace them with some also fitted jeans. The Leo bit her lip, hoping to finish getting dressed before Dave woke up. Sometimes, he didn't really like the style of choice she wore to work. Sometimes it was too tight (when really, it wasn't!), or too revealing, or too something that it really wasn't but he was just an overprotective douche sometimes. That's what Equius was for- Not Dave! While her current attire was indeed different from the ones she wore at six sweeps, it didn't mean he could tell her what and what no to wear.

While adjusting her shirt and smoothing out the wrinkles, she heard Dave stir. He then muttered something, which was most likey a complaint. After the first four words, however, it only got louder and louder, and whatever sleep-driven thing he was saying was definitely a complaint. Nepeta resisted to the urge to roll her eyes. She turned to Dave, hands on her hips. "Well I'm sorry, , that my work schedule does not fit to your liking! I purrsonally like my job!" Ah, yes, her job. Nepeta worked at a pet shop. It was just down the road, had a decent pay and cute animals.


Be that as it may, Dave was having trouble just getting his health bar full again. It was like the life was being sucked out of him as he climbed out bed, which isn't uncharacteristic for probably one of the most annoying types of bosses to walk the land. But, eventually, he climbs to his feet from the bed, stumbling up and down a couple times along the way, effectively bumping into each individual piece of furniture they owned with his elbow, or even worse, knee. Along his way, he'd picked up a shirt (dirty or not, we'll never know.) and slung it over his torso, silently thanking the gods that he'd actually gotten into his pajama pants before passing out the night before. And just like every other day, he wipes the sleep from his eyes and looks back to the feline-esque troll who had already slipped in to her work attire... which, of course, he was going to flip out over. Later. He was too tired to deal with that this morning. So, instead, he just tiredly stumbles up to her and plants a kiss on her cheek. What? Don't judge me. Anyway..

"That's cool, but I think you're not seeing this from my side," He says, his eyes still drooping under the immense pressure that is lack of sleep. He then switches into his shitty mocking mode, which intensely annoys the living shit out of everyone he uses it on. Especially Nepeta, as it was just so fucking easy to do it. "And, 'purrsonally', I don't care for your work schedule. Get that Tina bitch to switch your schedule or something, and don't say that she can't, because you know she can. She's just lying to both me and you."

To put it simply, Dave was used to having his way when it came to these types of things. Bosses pretty much melted for him, and he had no definite clue as to why. But, me, being the narrator, will let you in on a little secret; he doesn't stop talking. They just get so pissed at him that they agree with whatever he says, and that's why he always gets what he wants.

Dave can be cute. There's no doubt about that. He can actually be very sweet, and understanding, and a bunch of other things. It was cute how he stumbled, itt was more like a term endearment, and how he bumped into everything. His hair, which was usually perfectly combed and gelled, was a tangled mess and there was drool on his cheek. Nepeta thought the image was very adorable! Especially his little kiss that he gave her. Dave knew that kisses always managed to soften her up. He mostly did it when he wanted something or was suckering up to her, though.

Yeah, being cute for Dave Strider normally came with the price of being a giant asshole right after. Of course he had to say *something* about her work. Nepeta just rolled her eyes, slipping her apron in her bag that she would put on at work. "That's also furry cool, but I don't think /you're/ seeing it from my side, either!" She pointed at him, which was something the troll often did whenever she tried to make a point. Haha. Pointing for a point. Wow I'm actually laughing at that help me friend. ""Purrsonally", I don't care fur what you think of my work schedule! I don't want to complain to Tina, since she is furry nice to me and my furiend, and I'm NOT saying she can't, because she can't, but I'm saying she CAN'T because I don't WANT to change it!" She gave a small huff. "So DON'T complain to me, Mr. Strider!"

To put it simply, Nepeta was kind of grouchy in the mornings. She was used to sleeping to whatever time she wanted, so this getting up to do something she even enjoyed didn't exactly help her mood. It was still pretty early, the Sun barely rising. Nepeta liked being early, though. Just in case. Plus, she could run into somebody and have a nice chat with them if she was lucky. As for bosses, Nepeta was a bit of a push over, and being a bit too naive didn't help that matter.


Cute wasn't the word Dave would describe himself with. More along the lines of.. Swaggalicious. (Every Dave ever incumming (double points)) Anywhore, he didn't mean to be so charmingly amazing that she had mistaken it for cuteness or whatever was coursing through her mind. He just wanted to. But then again, doesn't count for shit when you're arguing. Dave wipes the spittle that he had previously not noticed, and thinks to himself, "damn i cant imagine how weird that must have felt," as he had began to rub the stuff on his clothes. Not exactly a towel, but what's a little spit gonna do?

The worst part is though, is that he was trying to come up with valid points. Too bad the most valid one he had made him look like a pansy. So, he stuck with, "It's too damn early to wake up just to see a bunch of damned kittens." Obviously, he hadn't said that aloud, otherwise he'd have been smacked up side the head. Friend, I can't help you there, I'm too busy laughing at "incumming". His lips twist into an exaggerated pout, and he edges a bit closer to the Troll, a devious plan coming into mind. (More to the point, just him fucking around. It'll probably have no change on her opinions what so ever.)

"But, sweetheart, think of the children," He suddenly falls to his knees and grabs a hold of her waist, keeping a vice like grip around it, effectively blocking all routes of escape. His sickeningly-sweet yet exaggerated voice then returns to it's normal composure, unlike the albino kid clinging to the cat chick. He still holds on for almost dear life. "Plus, you know, you're grouchy when you don't get your cat-naps."

He wishes he could have high fived himself for that one, but he was a bit pre-occupied.


Okay, for one, what the Hell is Swaggalicious? That sounds like a word that a seventh grader would make to make him or herself sound cool. And Dave Strider, you are not a seventh grader trying to sound cool Goddamnit. Nepeta giggled a bit when Dave finally noticed that line of drool that was on his cheek, finding that he didn't even notice it until now an endearing little action. Oh, but being called "cute" or "endearing" wasn't something considered cool in Dave's book, so scratch that.

At Dave's words, she blinked, then rolled her eyes once again. He always did this when he knew she was mad at him. Well, not exactly this, but sort of clung to her and then usually buttered her up with saying something cheesy and sweet. Normally. Either that or it was kind of rude or stupid. Of course, whatever he said, the troll usually forgave him and ended up just kissing him and doing whatever it was she wanted to do in the first place.

No, no, not this time. She was putting her foot down. Plus, even though the cat-nap comment was true, and she enjoyed the pun, it still kind of annoyed her. It was too early for this. "Dave, stop being stupid and let me go! Besides, we don't have children and if they did I would feel sorry since they might act like you, and I'm purrfectly fine with not taking a cat-nap because I don't need one!" She growled, taking a hold of his arms and attempted to pry him off of her.


Swaggalicious is a made up word Dave uses to describe himself, obviously in the most ironic way possible, seeing as how he's not a seventh grader with an ego the size of Tim-Dunken, but actually has shit for brains like a bumpkin. (The seventh grader, not Dabe. Dabe is coo.) When she giggled, he was sort of perplexed. Wasn't she just a bit mad just a second ago? Maybe he's hallucinating. She put something in his mouth while he slept, didn't she? Funny/paranoid thoughts sprouted in the corner of his mind for half a millisecond, though they quickly fluttered away the second she rolled her eyes. A single pang of annoyance hits him like a hammer, but quickly simmers into a soft, barely audible, chuckle that probably wouldn't reach her ears.

She always did this when he was acting 'unreasonable', so it was a clear sign that he should probably let go. By now, she would have pulled him up and laughed, maybe she would have pecked him and he would have wished her a good day at work (that being said, just him going "smell you later" isn't really much of a goodbye) and ended it right there. But no.

She had began to pry him off, and he was starting to get annoyed. She was honestly quite strong, but his time in the LOHAC had, well, sort of muscled him up. He wasn't buff, but he was sort of wiry, and that was a huge advantage at times. 'Specially when he went out on one of those rare "Dave Strider will be nice and take us to dinner" nights, which usually ended up in a drawn out discussion about the future, or make out sessions by the virtual fire. I got totally side tracked, didn't I? Anyways, it's helped because more than a couple times they've been jumped.. all of those times, they overwhelmed their attackers and laughed about it on their way home, where they nursed each others bruises and cuts with smiles on their faces.

But for now, he just lets go, stumbling back on to the floor with a soft frown that he quickly fixed with an attitude adjustment. He wasn't mad, it was more of a minor annoyance that he couldn't help but complain about, but had erupted into this situation. He actually felt kinda bad for it. All he was trying to convey was that he wanted to spend more time with her, but you know how that ends up working for the Strider family. "Alright," He says, the slightest bit solemn, picking himself up from the floor, the frown returning in the meanwhile. He 'strides' (steps forward) from the oh-so-distant spot he had fallen to, and pulls her into a gentle embrace (probably much to her surprise) and plants a kiss on the bridge of her nose (another surprise). "Also, remember, you know," Heat rises from his neck, thankfully unnoticeable in the dim lighting, as he was pretty new to this whole 'romantic' thing. His voice was barely a whisper. "I love you."


Nepeta was crossing her arms, feeling a combination of both triumph and a pang of guilt. It was kind of an odd feeling, especially since trolls apparently weren't supposed to feel the latter, but then again, most trolls weren't exactly supposed to go out during the day time and sleep while the Moon was up. And in Nepeta's case, she wasn't supposed to feel guilty over the fact that she probably hurt the feelings of her human lover, the one that she spent days and nights with. The same person that she slept in the arms of and ate dinner with. That small pang of guilt now replaced the feeling of triumph, making her feel worse and worse as she watched Dave get up from the floor.

She knew that he was actually pretty sensitive, especially when it involved her. He got mad whenever he thought the clothes she was wearing were too tight, or got "too close" to her other friends when they were at a party and dancing. Ugh, now the troll just felt worse. Dave bruises like a goddamn peach, and even though he was strong and she didn't exactly have to worry about him getting hurt from just a shove to the floor, it still made her feel bad. Sometimes, Nepeta likes to wrestle. It was a pastime she often did with Equius. Her wrestling involved biting and scratching and hissing, whether it was play or not. Either way, Dave would usually end up with bruises along his body that Nepeta would kiss until he said they felt a little better. Or, sometimes, the couple would indeed get frustrated with each other, and it was good to let out tension with wrestling. Which sometimes also led to passionate kissing and. Making out. Wow haha okay I got really side tracked help me just think about them wrestling when they were mad at each other and then making out it's hot anyway.

Dave walks up to her, and she's not sure what to expect, since Dave was confusing and seemed alittle upset right now. And kind of irritated. She never really saw him mad. Well, not seriously mad. Usually, it was the other way around. Him, giving her kisses on the cheek with his arms wrapped around her waist as she melted into his touch, instantly forgiving him in the span of five pathetic minutes. He was good at that, and it annoyed her. It also made her happy, since she didn't like being mad at him.

Nepeta bit her lip and felt more guilt spread through her as she saw his frown. Yet, yes, very much to her surprise, he hugs her. It's not needy, or quick. Just gentle and soft and slow. She feels herself blush a bit, since this isn't what she's used to in the mornings, especially when she's grouchy and Dave tends to stay away from her then. Or bug her. He also gives her a kiss on the nose, which just makes her blush even more. Where was this all coming from? Some sort of secret chamber that was contained in the body of a Strider that was whipped out whenever the time was grave and his ass was in trouble? Yeah, apparently. She was about to say something, or maybe do something, but then he said he loved her.

Yeah, she knew he loved her, and he knew she loved him just as much back. But that wasn't something that was said often. Just something implied and left unsaid. Nepeta felt a rush of affection and pity surge through her body, and she uncrossed her arms and hugged him back tightly, burying her head into his shoulder and then grabbing both sides of his face and giving him a kiss. "I love you too." She whispered, giving his nose, his cheeks and jaw and chin, and once again his lips more kisses.


The gentle lip bite that she gave off before his meak nose kiss was cute, he'll admit that right now. That was his weakness. His kryptonite to his Superman. His electro-magnetic pulse to his Iron Man. His any fire arm above .22 calibur to his Batman. And then there's the blushing. She didn't do it often, but when she did, he couldn't help but gently smile, as if he'd just huddled up next to her next to a fire and all was right. Friend, I'm imagining this and it's great friend help it's everywhere. Or, as if he'd just gotten a gold start that said, "You tried." And the second her face absolutely lights up, As much as her olive blood would allow, his smile turns into a bright grin. His mission was basically accomplished for the day, seeing as how he doesn't really muster up this much of a storm this early/late in the day, when she wakes up or gets home from work. And by then, they're both exhausted. And even on the days they have off, they're both too tired to do much else other than sit on the bed/couch and cuddle whilst doing menial things like video games or reading. And for Dave, when he wasn't on the Xbox, or reading along with one of Nep's book of the week, he messed with her hair. Wow Dave sounds like a sensitive guy doesn't he? Friend, I'm doing Dave wrong. Admit it.

Her lips were soft. That was pretty much the only thing going through his head while she planted several of her kisses all over his face. He enjoyed every one of them. But then again, he had a doubt, a tiny one, that all of them were just affection. Pity, maybe? Patronization? He quickly shoves them to the back of his mind and focuses on the now. Sounds like some inspirational 80's movie. "Don't focus on the past kids, focus on the now...," with some dude with a bad bald patch holding his thumb up replays over and over in his mind. And then the kisses stop, along with the crappy thoughts that were circulating in his noggin. He needs coffee. Or booze. But he doesn't keep the latter in the house, so coffee will have to suffice.

He leans in on Nep, resting tiredly against her short frame, which, wasn't even that much of a difference seeing as some trolls were taller than an average human, even the shorter ones. "Hold me. I'm dying, and the only way to keep me alive is by holding me." That's what he says, but he's just really tired and wants to keep cuddling under the covers. He can't really go to sleep any other way, anyways. He's grown so used to it that it's become a part of daily life. Go figure, the guy needed a life sized teddy bear from ages 4-8, and only gave it up because Bro threatened to replace it with a smuppet if he didn't pack it away into a closet. Guess that was "growing up Strider Style".

Maybe if he was lucky, they would call in. After all, Sunday was their slow day, and they wouldn't need that many people to run the store.. hopefully. They usually didn't call in this early anyways, so when they decided to give her the day off, she got there immediately went home, wasting all that time spent getting up and prepared. He lets out a yawn that could possibly be heard from across the block, and he hoped everyone could. If he couldn't sleep, no one could. He decides to ease up on her before she even says anything, and gives her one of the last few pecks on her cheek before checking his watch and saying, "Don't want to be late.. for being early. I don't know what you call it but you're gonna be late. You better get going."


She hates it when he's too sweet. She hates it when Dave just does that awesome boyfriend/matesprit thing and goes to be the understanding nice guy that he's usually not. He did this often whenever she got mad at him, really mad, like where she's pushing him off and telling him to fuck off. That's when his arms would slip around her waist and he would try and whisper stuff in her ear while she was either threatening to bite him or WAS biting him. This usually ended up with them on the couch, both of their hair messed up from just finishing a make out session (wow these two make out a lot friend I mean seriously but it's okay since making out is great.) and then just watching whatever came on T.V or reading a book. Or they would just cuddle, and she would purr and nuzzle his chin and he would normally fall asleep pretty quickly. This is the end of the day we're talking about, everyone is tired as fuck. She would normally end up just staring at him while he slept, like a huntress observing her prey from a fair distance. She would often use her index finger to lightly trace his features, remembering when they weren't as sharp and defined as they were today. Her finger glides smoothly across his skin when she does this, trained from all the years of drawing stuff on the cold, hard slabs of wall in her old cave. Nepeta you're fucking creepy. Anyway back to the present.

The troll smiles, giving Dave a quick hug and one last kiss on his lips- it's quick, and his lips aren't pecked so it's rather awkward and she's kissing his bottom lip more than anything- before she heads off for her day. She grabs her bag and slips the strap over her shoulder before heading over to the door to put on her tennis shoes. Once she has them on, she stands and opens the door. Not before looking back at Dave and saying,"When I get back you better not be drunk, Mr. Cool Cat! If you do I will be pawfully angry!" Yeah, she hated when Dave got drunk. It was literally the worst thing. She didn't mind him being clingy- well actually, she did, but that's not the point- but he was so whiny and annoying and literally all he wants to do is cuddle to her and complain... Which is pretty much how he acts all the time, but. It's. It's different. Plus, he smells of alcohol, which is something Nepeta's sensitive nose can't handle all too much. So when Dave comes home drunk, or is already drunk by the time SHE comes him, she tries her best to stay as far away as possible from him, which is hard considering they live together and sleep in the same bed. At the same time, he's not as charming or sweet or dorky. He's just clumsily. So yeah, basically Nepeta hates it and doesn't dare get drunk herself.

The Leo finally steps out of their apartment, her short locks of hair bouncing as she bounds down the stops and onto the side walk to her work place. The Sun is coming up now, bright and blinding and so orange that you can taste it. Nepeta winces a bit, using her hand to block the Sunlight as she crosses the street. The Sun doesn't burn you here, but it was still pretty bright and apparently could blind you if you stared long enough, so it was was still pretty powerful. Nepeta reached her destination, glad that her work was only about ten minutes away. Geez, Dave could even visit her if he really wanted to spend time with her so much! Working here was easy for Nepeta, since most of the animals just naturally liked her. Sometimes she was a bit hesitant around dogs, but then remembered that dogs here couldn't even pick up swords with their paws and impale her with it four times.


Dave can be sweet! Not only after fights, but sometimes at other times too.. Sometimes. Sorry that I had to reiterate 'sometimes', but it's true. Only sometimes. Like, say for instance, when he's visiting the store she works at and pretends to be a paying customer. But he never really buys anything, and ends up just handing her a piece of paper with their house phone number on it. It's incredibly stupid but it manages to muster up a laugh out of her, usually, and he's more than often rewarded with a small peck on the cheek. That's probably one of those small things that makes it worth it. And the make out sessions.. Don't even get him started. He swears if they would even go just a fraction of an inch farther it would be sex. That's pretty much how intense it got. I mean friend seriously think about it if their hair ruffles after just a make out session imagine what would happen during that wow. I'll just kill myself from embarrassment okay. Anyways, it then turned into cuddling. That was great. It was another one of Dave's weaknesses too (there are SO many), and it was probably his greatest one. He usually always fell asleep, whether it be him holding her, or him with his head in her lap, curled up into a ball with his shades crookedly falling to the side of his head, or even just them holding each other under the covers while listening to some of their favorite songs (They don't have many they agree on, so they make out during the ones that they would normally fight during. Help friend soon all this is gonna be about is make outs.)

And there she went, out the door and to her job, to play with the puppies and kittens and all those delightful animals that smelled and pooped everywhere and just drooled all over your clothes. That being said, Dave had never really been much of an animal person, though cats and hamsters were the exception. And snakes. Snakes are the fucking bomb diggity. He always wondered why he'd never taken the time to buy a snake and name it Waggleton or something like that. But then he remembered; he'd probably get into one of his famous drunken stupors and knock the case over, killing either him or the snake with razor sharp glass. If not, then the snake would probably kill him. Speaking of drunken stupors, he hadn't gotten into one for quite a long while. But on the other hand, Nep would be really mad if he did, so that's out of the question. Maybe he should just go back to sleep, he was still sort of tired. "Alright," He replies to no one. His reaction time was delayed at best in the mornings, and that was a prime example of it. "Time to go and do something that may or may not end up totally failing and blowing up in my face." He stresses the word time, to indicate that he had made a lame pun, and quickly throws a high five up to no one in particular, and when nothing happens, high fives himself. His hands immediately flop down, one to his side, the other maneuvering it's self to land on his neck, where he begins to scratch in contemplation. When Nep was gone, he went through a list of things he liked to do.

His first idea was to take a shower. That he could hold off until he went through the entire list. The rest of it ended up looking somewhat like this:

One, he would get on the computer and play some of his favorite video games, the first on his mind being Left 4 Dead 2 or GMod. That's out of the question, as he was currently feeling... Energetic, or so to speak. Second on the list was to go with Nep to work, which he would only do if he wasn't feeling like doing anything else, and if he had taken a shower. Third on his list? Go to the bar and get drunk. His mind throws that one out the metaphorical window the second it comes in. He didn't want her to get angry at him... Again, and for being too clingy or too droll. It's not like he was an alcoholic, he just wanted to have fun. But fun usually means a pounding head ache and puking into the toilet bowl late at night, then curling up into a ball and holding his stomach. The last option was to go and do something that costs money, like go bowling or go to the arcade. He's like, twenty though, so he'd be called a pedophile at the arcade or some shit like that. (Not really, though. The arcade's pretty awesome.) Plus, it's not really fun unless there's someone you know there. He guesses he could invite John, but then again he wasn't ready for some lame prank like a pie to the face or some shit like that. "Work it is then I guess," He utters to himself, pulling a (what he supposed was clean) wad of clothes from a pile in the corner of the room, and heads towards the shower he and Nep shared. Honestly, he hated it at times, because she usually got there first and he would run out of hot water in the middle of his showers. Luckily, his threat to either pull her out of her shower half way through and jump in himself, or to hop in with her whenever she took one wasn't taken lightly, and so she'd promised to cut down on her long as fuck showers.


Author's Note: More to come, soon. Unfortunately for you.