A/N: And this is a comedy with lemons, so be over 18( or at least mature enough to handle SEX. NIPPLE, if you laugh childishly, then get out),( I don't want to get complaints on my first story unless it is constructive criticism) and be nice, it is my first story written. 'Zetsu eat Tobi, spare Madara'
I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR MARIO OR LORD OF THE RINGS
Super Akatsuki World
Wandering around one day, the peculiar two sided Venus flytrap member of the Akatsuki fell onto a dark secret that changed the entire world. It didn't have anything to do with Zetsu jumping in and out of green tubes that jutted from the ground, or the fact that there were question mark boxes suspended in mid air. No, it had to do with him finding a giant exclamation point button that he jumped on.
Our story begins one afternoon when Zetsu and Konan got as far away from the hideout as possible because a certain bipolar homicidal freak happened to be in the mood to say 'Tobi good boy', so everyone ran for their lives as soon as they saw the abomination of god. Zetsu and Konan escaping together. "Now what do we do, we're ten miles away from our hideout and we can't go back until the thing with the orange mask goes Madara again?" said the bitch with blue hair. Zetsu shrugged as one side thought something all men would think if a woman with curves asked them that while the other side halfway agreed with his irrational minded self.
"Well, we are all alone, why not make the most of it?... Please don't kill us!" he added, not wanting to die just yet.
"Awe, you're cute, how about I scratch you're back if you'll scratch mine," she flirted back to Zetsu.
Zetsu was actually stunned that Konan was actually flirting back, instead of her usual finger to the face technique, so here he was, paralyzed, at all of his dreams possibly coming true and the other person needed to fulfill this dream standing right in front of him.
"Are...You...Serious?" he said, head tilted, as soon as he could comprehend what just happened.
"Sure, why not, I mean, it is just you and me out here, so lets do it," she replied.
" Are you pulling our leg?" the Zetsu's said, unsure whether or not to trust her.
" No, but I could pull something close to your leg," she flirted, " Actually, Pein has been a little stubborn lately, so I was probably going to ask you if you could give me what I needed,"
A giant sweat drop appeared on the back of Zetsu's head as he listened to Konan's excuse for flirting with him, but he didn't really trust her one-hundred percent, so he replied, " ...um, do you mind if you go first, sorry, but we're a little on the shy side, so if you could prove that you aren't just trying to get us naked so you can sit comfortably and laugh while we try to put on our cloak and get embarrassed."
"Okay, on two conditions though; one, you keep quiet about this, and two, you have to start first next time," she said as she shrugged off her cloak.
Zetsu's mind was swimming as he heard about the second condition, but he managed to squeak out a shaky 'yes' to her condition.
She took off her fish-net shirt exposing her perfect breast, and presented the twins to Zetsu. Zetsu's eyes almost popped out of his head, underestimating how beautiful they were. Zetsu, was as any creature with two disagreeable sides and a Venus Flytrap on around his body, was a virgin. Konan then, saw some activity going on in Zetsu's pants and sauntered over to take a very close look. Her hand was delicate as it slipped into the darkness known as Zetsu's pants and grabbed the thing that was distorting the ripples of his attire. She took off Zetsu's cloak and saw that under the Venus flytrap, he had a six-pack. She began to stroke his member as she sweetly kissed him. Her kiss though, soon got a little fierce as she kissed him deeper and battled tongues with him, but Zetsu fought back in the tongue war as they called it a truce and went to more important parts other than the mouth. She slowly went down to see how his smaller self was doing, but found a monster ten inches long. Konan, then realized that she was curious how it tasted, considering he was half man and half plant. Then her mouth opened wide and her head went forward. Surprisingly, it tasted like fresh honey, but she was after the other kind of honey. She began to thrust forward, causing his member to hit the back of her mouth. Konan couldn't remember the last time she felt this good about having sex, but it probably beat her first time, considering her first time was with Pein. As she began to bob her head faster, Zetsu began to moan out of pleasure.
She began to let her tongue stroke the upper side of his member as she trusted further. Her throat was sore from his tip, so she changed her stance so she could get it deeper. It wasn't long before Zetsu got harder and Konan went faster, wanting his bounty. A large flow went into her and spilled out of her mouth. As she laughed and licked up what was left on her chin.
A few hours later, after they did each other's work, and because I am kind of running low on ideas, they went back to the lair and went to work on the plans for the Bijuu. A few days later, the climactic 'Naruto vs. Sasuke' battle went into play, which meant that Zetsu was on spy duty. Afterwards though, he took the long way around, not wanting to come into contact with Sasuke and ran into a strange cloud with a face on it while a yellowish turtle creature rode on top of it. Zetsu got a little curious at the strange ass thing, so he ate one or two of those pesky Lukitus for throwing spike balls. After a while, he came in contact with a strange green tube that had enough room to fit a 250 pound fat-ass wearing blue overalls and a red hat.
So anyways, out of sheer curiosity, Zetsu jumped into the tube and sunk into an underground palace. He had to admit that he was surprised when he found a floating box with a question mark circling it. By this time, Zetsu has been acting on curiosity alone and he wasn't going to stop now, so he slammed his head into the block and a coin fell out. He was amazed that he didn't have a concussion, but he was even more amazed that he got paid for destroying public property. So, he did it again and again and again. By about the thousandth time he did this, he got bored and moved on.
After about a minute of walking, Zetsu came across a giant red button with an exclamation point on it. So like anyone else with absolutely nothing to do, he jumped on it. Everything went blank, but it was refreshed except for the fact that everything was turned into a Mario game gone bad.
Zetsu awoke in his room, thinking it was a fun dream, but as he went to get his daily assignment from Pein, he noticed that the lair looked almost like it was part of an eight-bit video game, but figured that it was because he didn't get enough sleep. He walked into Pein's room to discuss his mission, only to walk into a room with a giant spike-studded turtle with Pein's pointy hair-style.
A little while later after Zetsu's scream woke everyone up, Pein called a meeting to discuss the resent changes in everyone's appearance. Deidara was so happy that he was a walking bob-omb that he nearly shit himself, while Sasori was wondering if being a chomp-chomp was still considered being art. Itachi was about to kill Zetsu for turning him into a miniature Banzai Bill, and Kisame was thinking about eating 'someone' when he saw that he was a cheep-cheep. Tobi practically pissed himself when he realized that he and Kakuzu were both Shy-guys. Hidan couldn't care less if he were a Dry Bones or not as long as he kept his scythe. Konan was laughing her ass off as she was Princess Peach and Pein was of course Bowser. Zetsu didn't really see a difference in being turned into Petey Piranha.
" Now," Pein continued, " It is necessary that we try to overcome our new differences in as little time as possible in order to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THESE DUMB ASS BODIES!!!"
" How exactly did we change into these things?" Kakuzu asked, believing that one of their own was to blame.
" M-Maybe it's all just a bad, or really annoying, dream?" Zetsu stuttered.
" Okay, then you wouldn't happen to feel this would you?" Itachi Bill said, chasing around Zetsu.
" CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP..." Zetsu yelled, running for his life, wondering if Itachi knew that he was responsible for everything. " We promise we had nothing to do with changing you... We didn't do it... don't kill us." Zetsu pleaded, correcting himself twice.
" What... did.. You... do?" Pein spoke with rising fury.
" We think that we may have changed our universe as we know it and the only way back would be to hit that switch again," Zetsu replied.
" Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, so you're saying that you changed THIS universe?! So now the only way to get us back to normal is to go on an incredibly long journey?" Kisame complained.
" Yes, but it will take all of our bodies to get back to ourselves," Zetsu Piranha said diplomatically.
" The weird weed thing is right, this is going to take all of us." Peinser agreed while getting a jab at Zetsu Piranha.
"Umm... thanks, but this is serious! Who will follow us on our rigorous quest."
A long pause.
" I will follow" Princess Blue spoke from behind everyone.
" My angel? Why?" Peinser pleaded.
" Someone's got to help Zetsu Piranha on his quest to get the ring into the mountain... I mean change us back, besides, I am an angle of darkness." she played as if she wasn't carrying the one ring to rule them all.
" If you must, I understand," Peinser said softly.
" We must leave soon, the button is far," Zetsu Piranha intruded.
As Princess Blue readied herself with a month supply of tampons and enough food scrolls to kill a whale, Zetsu Piranha readied himself with a map that he found with a strange 'M' on it, and some human sacrifice scrolls. In about an hour, both were ready to fight the unknown and accomplish only God knows what... in the next chapter!!!
A/N # 2: Coming next month, or in a few days, or whenever my computer starts to work again. P.S. Zagger the angel of hell IS in fact my step-brother and I have learned some writing from him, don't blame me, blame him.J.K. 'Zetsu eat Tobi, spare Madarra'
