Prologue:
If Jack O'Neill had been a believer in karma, he would have thought that he'd done way more harm than good in his time on earth. No way could someone who'd saved the lives of billions of people from enslavement by the Goa'uld have been so unjustly punished as he had been unless a thousand other more terrible deeds had overshadowed that one good one.
But he didn't believe in karma. He was prepared to accept full responsibility for what had gone wrong. This time and the last. To lose one child in a lifetime was almost beyond surviving. To lose two was almost more than he could bear. He had suffered the loss of loved ones and friends more times than he could remember but none of them hurt as badly or tore at his heart so much till the agony of it was the only thing that kept him going. The pain of it was his penance and he welcomed it.
Daniel had been missing for a full year now. He'd be seven in a month. The might of the US Air Force and the FBI combined had not been enough to find him. He'd vanished into thin air, as though he'd never existed at all.
They'd found no trace of Kathy Smart either. Her records showed that she and her husband had divorced a few months after her son, Danny, had been hit by a car and died. The red flags were up immediately that bit of information was discovered but it was too late. Kathy Smart had disappeared as well, without a trace, leaving no clues to her whereabouts. There'd been sightings in the first few weeks, almost too many to follow up. From whack jobs wanting their fifteen minutes of fame, to con artists, hoping to claim the reward, to genuine, well meaning citizens who were sure that the little boy seated at the next booth in the local diner was the missing child. None of the hits came to anything, and after a few months, they dwindled until Daniel Jackson, aged 6, became just a vague memory to everyone except those who loved and missed him.
Did he remember them? Did he remember that he had once been Doctor Daniel Jackson, a thirty-five year old archeologist, member of SG1, and Jack's closest friend? Or had time and distance erased all memory of who he'd once been?
Jack picked up a photo from his desk and ran a finger lightly over Daniel's smiling face. "Wherever you are, Danny, I hope you're happy," he whispered. "Don't be afraid. I will find you. Don't give up on me."
He had never allowed the possibility that Daniel might be dead to touch him. To admit to that would mean admitting defeat and Jack wasn't defeated. He welcomed the pain of loss and guilt and kept on searching, long after it seemed everyone else had given up hope.
~o0o~
Part One:
One Year Ago:
"Hi there, cutie! What's your name?"
Daniel squirmed in his chair, feeling his cheeks heat with embarrassment. Even as an adult, he'd been awkward around women. Even Sha'ré. He'd loved her from the moment he set eyes on her, but her free-spirited, unabashed way of demonstrating her love for him had often left him feeling somewhat shy. "Daniel," he muttered, shoving another forkful of mashed potato into his mouth to stifle his voice.
"Are you lost, honey?" the corporal asked, crouching down at his side and taking his hand. "I don't know that you should be here in the commissary alone. Are you here with your folks?"
Daniel shook his head. "I'm here with Jack… Colonel O'Neill, but he got called away. He told me to wait here and he'd be right back." He glanced at the clock on the wall, his concern notching up. He knew not everyone at the mountain knew about his little accident… He groaned inwardly at his choice of words. And this lady was a little too interested. He was really tired and he'd been waiting for Jack forever. He hoped he didn't slip up and say something he shouldn't. "He shouldn't be much longer."
The corporal – Daniel squinted at her nametag – Corporal Smart – sat down in the chair beside him. "Well, how about I wait with you until he gets back. A little guy like you shouldn't be alone. My little boy's name is Daniel too. How funny is that?"
"Pretty funny, I guess," Daniel said lamely. He took a slurp of his milk and swung his legs back and forth under the table.
"Daniel!"
He turned in relief at the sound of Jack's voice.
Jack strode over and reached out to tousle Daniel's hair. He gave Corporal Smart a nod of acknowledgment as she stood hastily and saluted. "At ease, Corporal. Everything okay?"
"I was just concerned about this little guy, sir. It's pretty unusual to find a child alone in the commissary."
"Got called away," Jack replied. "Didn't realize it would take so long. Sorry, buddy."
"S'okay. Can we go home now?" Daniel clambered down off his chair and looked hopefully up at Jack. They'd been here since really early in the morning and he was actually thinking a nap would be a good idea.
"Sure. Just got to stop by Carter's lab, see how she's doing on that special assignment I gave her."
"Do you think she's figured it out this time?" Daniel asked.
"Secret, remember?" Jack said, miming locking his lips.
Daniel felt his face heat at his slip and glanced quickly at Corporal Smart but she didn't seem fazed by his comment.
"Say goodbye to the Corporal, Daniel," Jack instructed and Daniel sketched a small wave.
"Bye," he said.
"Bye, Daniel. Oh, Colonel, I just wanted to say, if you need a sitter anytime or someone to watch your little boy when you have to bring him to the Mountain, I'd be happy to help out," Corporal Smart said. "Worries me a little to think of a kid wandering around alone here. No telling what could happen."
"Thanks, Corporal, I'll keep it in mind, but Daniel's a pretty bright kid. He won't be a problem."
"I didn't mean to imply that he would, sir, it's just regulations stipulate—"
Jack frowned and Daniel suppressed a smile. He'd learned a long time ago never to presume you knew something Jack didn't.
"I know the regs, Corporal," Jack said. "I appreciate the offer but I've got it covered."
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."
Jack took Daniel's hand and almost dragged him out of the commissary. "How many times have I told you not to draw attention to yourself, Daniel?" he asked sternly. "You've got to be more careful."
Daniel gaped at him. "I-I didn't! I was just sitting there, eating my lunch." He pulled his hand from Jack's grasp. "If you'd taken me with you, she never would have thought I was alone." Brushing past Jack, he stomped ahead of him and stabbed at the elevator button. He ran into the car as soon as the doors opened, swiftly reaching out for the button but Jack snaked a hand in just as the doors started to close.
"Don't ever do that again!" Jack admonished.
Daniel slumped against the wall of the elevator and crossed his arms over his chest. "Not fair!" he said. "First you yell at me when it wasn't even my fault then you tell me what to do. You're not the boss of me, Jack!"
Jack stared at him for a moment then nodded. "You're right… on the first count. That was my fault. I should have taken you with me or got someone to watch you. On the other hand, whether you like it or not, until we can figure out how to fix this, I am the boss of you. But, I'm sorry, Daniel, I shouldn't have blamed you." He held out a hand as the elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. "Friends?"
Daniel stared at him for a moment as though sizing up Jack's apology then reached out and grasped Jack's hand. "Friends," he agreed.
