I hope this is as fun to read, as it was to write!
I sadly do not own the Morganville vampires.
The five worst days of Shane's life…
5. Watching his dog get killed by a vampire. This is the first time seven-year-old Shane truly hates them, and it definitely won't be the last. Butch, his Golden Retriever, was a stray until Shane found him a few months back bringing him home to stay. His mom however, refused the dog saying they couldn't afford it knowing their dad had trouble getting and keeping a job. Nevertheless, Shane hid him in his old fort in the back of the yard, feeding him scraps from the table while Alyssa made him a bed with old blankets. One night while Shane was heading out the back door to feed Butch he stops short. Stunned Shane watches some bloodsucker feeding on Butch like a drink at a lemonade stand. Shane cries out ready to attack the vampire but is smart enough to bolt back in doors and grab the shotgun underneath the table. When he runs back outside, gun raised, the vampire is gone with Butch in a heap on his back porch.
4. P.E class in eighth grade. It's swimming and Shane's not manly enough to admit that he can't swim. He tells Michael he does it all the time and brags to Steven, a kid in the class, the he got a couple of awards for being on the swim team two years ago. It becomes a problem though, when the gym teacher pushes all nine kids into the water and tells them to swim free-style. Shane doesn't know what he was more scared of, the fact that he almost drowns or the gym teacher getting into the pool with a speedo on.
3. Scraping his hand on a rusty old pipe down in the garbage dump. For extra cash, Shane promised Claire he would start working more and the one and only add in the newspaper was for trash cleanup. The minute Shane scrapes his hand against the pipe he knows he's screwed; he hasn't had a tetanus shot in over fourteen years. One upset phone call later and Shane gets into the back of Eve's hearse with Claire ready to either pound his head in or hold on to him forever. He hopes it's the former because after getting two shots from the doctor and three more to take home, Shane hurts like a sorry son-of-a-bitch.
2. When his family dies. First Alyssa and then his mom, Shane doesn't think he can burden any more grief. But then his father throws him a curve ball by sending him back to Morganville to wreak havoc on the vampires. Shane doesn't know if it's now that he's officially lost his father, sending his only son on a suicide mission or later, when Shane puts his friend's lives at risk because of his dad. Either way Shane's an orphan by the young age of sixteen.
1. When Claire dies. There's nothing more to it. The instant Shane sees her, he knows. Fuck, it's literally a baseball bat to the face. This is the one moment when Shane truly thinks suicide is an option.
The five best days of Shane's life…
5. When a smart-ass, eight year old girl beats him in recess kickball. He pouts knowing he's a sore loser but mouths off about her to Michael anyway. The kickball suddenly hits Shane in the middle of the chest knocking him unto the ground. The girl runs over yelling at Shane that he's a goody-goody princess and should have caught the ball. Shane doesn't even think about it, he just picks up the fallen ball and chucks it at her face. It hits her square in the nose and she starts to bleed, a lot. Later, when Shane and the girl are put in time-out for fighting (beginning with the girl wiping her blood all over Shane's clothes), she's tells him her name is Eve. He tells her she needs a new face, but smiles and tugs at her ponytail anyway.
4. Seeing Monica cry. Okay he'll admit it's not a pretty site watching Morganville's little princess up and bawl her eyes out, with snot and everything, but he can't help it. Shane takes out his phone and video records it for later thinking Eve's gonna love this. Starting with the fact that she's crying because apparently the color pink is officially out.
3. The moment Shane and Claire get their own apartment. It's small, cramped and smells like shit but it's theirs. Shane carries Claire through the door bridal style and proceeds to lock it finally having peace to themselves. The Glass House had been cramped the last year after Eve and Michael decided to have one of their own. As much as Shane was happy for them, the Glass House suddenly got to small too fast. And after much promises to Eve that they would be their everyday, Claire and Shane buy their own place. A perfect starter home.
2. When Claire tells him she's pregnant. She's drinking coffee, looking over the morning newspaper like its no big deal. Claire and Shane have been trying for months, but this, this moment when he know he's going to be a Dad, shakes Shane down to his core. He swallows, and looks up at Claire telling her it's the best news his heard in the newspaper all week. She smiles back.
1. When Claire and Shane start getting old. He's not trying to be sentimental or anything and he knows these aren't "one day", but he can't help feeling whole when he watches his family grow up. He's ended up with a family of six, including the dog he now owns named Sam. When Shane and Claire start forming wrinkles and gray hair, they laugh about how they were never going to make it this far. And when Shane finally puts Claire into the ground, he's ready to go for himself. He looks over to his kids and realizes they can take care of themselves. It's time for Shane to meet up with Claire once more.
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