Bartender is my newest creation and is a BellaxEmmett story.

The others are in the story aswell, but Edward is very much so gay.

All characters are human, and as hot as James is, he is a monster, but not of the mythical persuasion.

Unfortunately updates in this story might come a bit slow, but reviews might persuade me other wise.

I hope you enjoy it,

-crooked-little-smile-


I walked into the bar and smiled at how many applicants were here today.

"You brought in some fresh meat, Edward?" I asked my boss. He was totally gay, but if you didn't know you'd never realize it. I used to be a shy girl but after a few months of the outrageous teasing and flirting that had quickly gone out the door.

"These are the aplicants for the jobs we have open now that we've expanded." Edward told me, taking my jacket and purse. "I'll go put these in the back room. Why don't you introduse yourself."

I rolled my eyes as he walked away. I stepped behind the bar and shouted through the door to the kitchen to Jake, Paul, Seth and Embry.

"You guys want something to drink?"

"Surprise us Bella." Jake shouted back. I grinned and pulled out four rocks glasses. I poured three Vodka 7's and filled the last glass with straight Everclear. I put them each on a small tray and handed them through the small window. I smiled and listened. I was rewarded with the sound of someone sputtering and by the sound of it, choking up a lung.

"You okay?" I asked sweetly as Edward came back in. The tray flew through the window and Edward caught it before it hit hit in the face.

"Watch it." He said, smiling.

"Sorry boss." Paul said gruffly.

"Okay," Edward said. "I don't do my interviews in the conventional way. I'm going to have a bunch of costumers come in and see how you do. Think of it as a test run. First thing's first, I want everyone applying for bartender to stand to the left of the bar, Waitresses and waiters to the right and bouncers in the middle."

Once they were all sectioned off he spoke again.

"Bartenders, for future references your uniform is black bottoms, red tops. You are not aloud to wear skirts unless you have shorts on under them.

"Waitresses and waiters, Black bottoms, green tops, Same thing with the skirts. Waiters, no sagging jeans.

"And finally, Bouncers. You will wear loose, drawstring jogging pants, and a tight white shirts, and steel toed, shit kickers.

"Any of you run into any problems and I'm not there you go to Bella." He said pointing to me, were I was sitting on top of the bar. "She's going to help me decide which of you stay and which of you go. First I need to make sure that those of ou applying to be bouncers know how to detain a female with out getting sued."

I smirked as Rosalie came out from the back and I got off the bar smiling.

"Hey there, Big boy." I said trailing my finger over one guys chest. He was massive, all toned muscle and yummy skin.

"This is Rosalie Hale," Edward introduced, an ex- firefighter and my business manager. "You two act like drunk girls getting a bit out of control. In an instant Rosalie was storming towards me and I shrieked.

"Bitch! I know you slept with my husband!" Rose screamed and tackled me to the ground. We were rolling around on the floor, me trying not to laugh as Rose pretended to strangle me.

A blond guy came and pulled Rose off me from around her waist. He did everything right except put himself between the two of us. I scrambled to my feet and dive tackled them. Blondie wasn't expecting it but the big guy had and he caught me mid air with one arm around my waist and the other keeping my fist at my sides.

Suddenly Rose shrieked at the top of her lungs. The blond guy, bless his heart, immediately let her go with his hands raised in a non threatening way. The big guy carried me over to Edward.

"Next." Edward said. We did it several times over coming up with some hilarious situations. "Alright."

"Thanks Rose." He said. "I'd like all the bartender aplicants to follow Bella, I want waiters to get a green jersey, and bouncers to get white ones. Bella you have ten minutes to get them ready in shifts of three and then I'm opening the door."

I nodded and set three blonds, dressed like whores, at the bar.

"Have any of you had any previous experience?" I asked and they all nodded. I knew for sure that two of them were lying and one was barely telling the truth.

"Okay, I want an All American, a TNT Cocktail, and a Kamikaze Raspberry." I said and watched as they scrambled to make the drinks. When they were done they set the drinks in front of me and I started with the first.

The All American had too much Bourbon and not enough coke, the TNT cocktail had no Cointreau, and the Kamikaze Raspberry was missing the Raspberry. I was barely able to hide my sigh as I turned away with out comment.

Rosalie caught my expression and I turned around again.

"Next group." I shouted. This time a tiny black haired girl came up with a blond lean man, and a blue haired man. His hair was probably brown but it had been bleached and dyed many many times.

'I want a Royal Scandal, a Russian Shamrock, and a Venom." I watched as they made the drinks and made a mental note that the blond man and the black haired pixie worked well together.

I drank the drinks in front of me and I got some weird looks from some of the waitresses watching Royal Scandal and the Russian Shamrock were made perfectly but the Venom was all gin and sugar, no cocoa.

I nodded and the next group came in. I rattled off drink names off the top of my head. Some of them were okay, some weren't and I noticed a few who had promising futures selling them selves on the street corners.

This was going to be a long night.

I knew that all the people coming into the bar tonight were being payed to come and I knew a few of them were going to create ruckus's. Edward posted a bouncer at the end of the bar, one at the door one near the bathrooms, two near the sound system and another patrolling the dance floor.

"Okay, in thirty minutes you will relieve the posted bouncers, spend a minute or two relaying any information. If theres someone you noticed, someone who is having problems. That way you know what to look out for." Edward said then turned to the waitresses.

"Wait ten minutes for everyone to get in and then start taking orders. One warning: You can flirt, be friendly, earn some tips, but under no circumstances to you sleep with any of them for money.

"If you have a jealous boyfriend come here and he starts something with a customer for flirting with you my bouncers will break their noses and they will not be allowed back in. If that happens you are on probation and even the slightest problem after that and you will be fired.

"All of you will carry around a yellow flag, like a penalty flag and if any of the costomers get rough with you or grabby, throw it up in the air, there is a magnet in it and it'll stick to the ceiling, making it easier for the bouncers to get to you. Understand?"

All of them nodded. He passed out the tiny flags. I had the bartenders get into position and Edward opened the doors. He came to sit next to me at a table to watch everyone. He had a file folder with all the applicants inside it. I immediately reached over and found several of the bartender applicants and crossed their names off the list. Edward made no comment, knowing to trust my judgement on this. I also circled the blond guy, Jasper Whitlock, and the pixie, Alice Brandon.

He handed me a sheet of paper and a pen. I had to keep track of anything I saw and how many bottles got shattered. Ten minutes in two bottles had been shattered and a blonde waitress had tripped directly into Edwards lap.

"I'm so sorry, Sir." She said with big eyes and a pout. She was trying to flirt with him. Gag.

I rolled my eyes and smiled as the first mini disaster happened. Two guys got in a tussle, that was quickly broken up and they were escorted out. Edward wrote a few comments on the sheet.

I waved for one of the waitress/sluts and was shocked that she blatantly ignored me. Edward crossed her off the list. I waved for another and she came over with a smile. She was a brunette and a quiet yet sincere girl.

"What can I get'cha?" She asked with a small smile.

"Two Acapulcos Malibu's and a rack of baby back ribs." I ordered for Edward and I. He always let me pick a new drink for him. There were just too many of them.

The drinks came back first and I tasted both drinks before giving Edward the better one. I still drank mine and I ate the ribs when they got there. I signaled a shift change on the bartenders.

A commotion started up and I looked up to see a female shouting at one of the waitresses. She must have been flirting with the guy while she'd been away.

I stopped paying attention to it and looked around. My eyes locked onto the huge guy from before and watched him look me up and down. I saw him smirk and then his eyes locked on Edward and he went back to scanning the crowd. Edward was watching him with a quirked eyebrow.

I tried to keep my eyes off him for the rest of the night but it was really hard. By the end of the night I had 16 shattered bottles and four people I was willing to hire. The applicants all stood anxiously as we deliberated. I wanted to ask if he was going to hire the big guy but I just barely stopped myself.

Just then James came in through the front door.

"Bella, I've been waiting for you for twenty minutes outside." He snapped, marching over to me. He grabbed my arm and I could smell the alcohol on him, see how dialated his pupils were. "Lets go." He pulled me off my chair and started walking me to the door.

I dug my feet in and jurked my arm out of his grasp.

"James, go home. You know we aren't together anymore." I spoke quietly and calmly. "We broke up months ago."

"You're coming home, Bella." He growled.

"I don't think she wants to go with you." The big guy said and I new it was going to get worse.

"You're sleeping with him, aren't you Bella?" James shouted and his grip became bruising. I kept any trace of pane off my face even as Edward gave the universal cut it out sign to the guy.

"James," I tried again but this time he back handed me and started mostly dragging me towards the door. "I'm not going with you!" I said, digging my heels in.

"Yes you are. And I'm going to make you regret sleeping with carrot top and Rambo-"

He didn't get to finish his threat because my fist collided with his jaw. He caught my wrist too late and I bent my arm, slamming my elbow into the same place I had just hit.

He let go and I put a few feet in between us. Edward moved now that I was in the clear.

"I told you not to bother her James." He said in a quiet voice and I heard police sirens out side. "And I just got you assaulting her on camera. You thought you were going to get away wit hit again on a technicality, but this, with the other evidence, is going to put you away for a very long time."