Disclaimer: as I have stated several times before I do not nor will I ever do not own Naruto nor would I ever even dream of giving anyone such a ridiculous idea; furthermore, I make absolutely no money from writing and blah, blah, blah – you get the picture.

"A brother is a friend God gave you; a friend is a brother your heart chose for you."
- Proverb


Running. Twelve-year-old Uchiha Sasuke was running. He had no idea where he was running to or what he was running from but he was running as far as his feet could take him. Which, based on twelve and three-fourth years of living, wasn't too far. "Nīsan!" He screamed as he continued to run aimlessly. After a few more minutes of running he saw a forest up ahead. Great; he was having a nightmare and worse of all it was one of those nightmares in which you knew you were having a nightmare!

His four year older know-it-all brother, Itachi, told him he wasn't old (or brave) enough to watch an R15+ movie but did he listen? Nope. Itachi even said he'd get nightmares but did Sasuke care? Not at all! Itachi also gave him an out but did Sasuke take it? No! He just had to prove to his brother that he was 'big enough' to watch a scary movie without getting a nightmare afterwards but evidently he wasn't. Damn his pride! Sasuke truly would not have been surprised if Itachi put some kind of a hex or something on him. Naturally, the twelve-year-old didn't believe in curses and the like but Uchiha Itachi was one scary ass S.O.B. capable of doing damn near anything and everything so the possibilities were endless.

The twelve-year-old hid behind a conveniently placed large tree panting heavily. He couldn't exactly remember the movie in detail but most clichéd horror films often had the 'protagonist' of sorts running into some large, poorly lit area to confront the 'antagonist' or at least the antagonist's lackey only to have them barely escape with their life until the final confrontation nearly an hour later – although sometimes they weren't lucky enough to last that long. If this was his mind's way of reenacting the film why the hell couldn't he remember a less frightening part of it? Perhaps a clichéd make-out scene or one of those bland, overly explanatory conversations which wrongly convicts the true murderer? Shit!

"You called?" Gasping loudly, Sasuke slowly turned to his left seeing his older brother seemingly glide out from behind another large tree pointing a water gun at him. The only feasible reason why Sasuke knew it wasn't a real gun was because the object was see-through and there was some indiscernible liquid sloshing around inside it. "Tsk, tsk, tsk... how many times to I have to tell you don't try and grow up before your time. Baka. Otōto." With that damn bonafide evil smirk that only the sixteen-year-old was capable of giving, Itachi pulled the trigger firing the scalding liquid right at Sasuke's forehead.

Usually, Itachi poked him in the forehead with his finger or a pencil but this felt much, much worse. Screaming, the twelve-year-old recoiled from the heat then began running off again. He heard Itachi laughing evilly but didn't bother turning around. He wasn't that stupid after all. "Oh come on Sasuke!" He heard Itachi yell, "do you really want me to chase you?" He heard Itachi sigh and while he was sure the sixteen-year-old was doing something else he was not in a hurry to find out what it was. Not that it really mattered because Itachi materialized right in front of him. "You really should get into shape otōto..."

With skill he wasn't comprehensive of, Sasuke managed to dodge his older brother's assault to keep running. Not hearing any footsteps or evil laughter Sasuke figured he was in the clear so he glanced back as he was still running and his eyes widened to see Itachi charging after him. As odd as it sounded, that part wasn't too surprising... no, the eerie part was Itachi running on all fours like some kind of wild animal!

Picking up speed he couldn't possibly achieve outside dream machinations, Sasuke ran off until – as clichéd as it was – he tripped. He turned around trying to get up seeing Itachi slowly walking toward him. He scrambled backwards crab walking until he hit a tree. Gasping he looked up and swore. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Turning around, Sasuke gulped seeing Itachi standing in front of him but before he could move or even utter a sound he found himself being hoisted in the air. "You fool, I nearly broke a sweat chasing after you." Itachi was gently shaking the twelve-year-old in his hands. "Did you forget that I'm faster than you?" The sixteen-year-old chuckled, "and bigger too?"

"W-What do you want nīsan?" Sasuke asked fruitlessly squirming in his brother's grip as the sixteen-year-old continued to shake him.

"What do I want?" The sixteen-year-old ceased shaking him. "Tsk, tsk otōto. This is your dream; you should know better than anyone what I want. Or rather, what you want me to want." The twelve-year-old eyes widened as Itachi pressed him against the tree; he could feel the bark scraping against his skin as his shirt rose up when Itachi grabbed him. Licking his lips, Itachi came closer to his brother until their faces were mere centimeters apart.

Sasuke noticed his brother was sporting a rather impressive set of fangs; it also seemed as though he had horns and a tail!? Oh shit, Sasuke had to stop having ice cream before bed if he was going to dream of crazy shit like this! "Don't look so glum otōto, you'll get what you want soon enough."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sasuke winced as Itachi pulled him impossibly closer then slammed him back into the tree.

"My my otōto, such crassness. You know something... I think your mouth is in dire need of some intense cleaning." As the twelve-year-old continued to cry out in pain Itachi suddenly took the opportunity to press his lips against his brother's. When Sasuke gasped, Itachi dipped his tongue into his brother's open mouth massaging his tongue and exploring the mouth in question until the need for air made itself apparent.

Once the two mouths slowly detached leaving a trail of saliva in their wake Sasuke screamed until Itachi used his free hand to clamp over the twelve-year-old's mouth. "You're going to ruin the moment otōto." Itachi's sharp claws that were latched onto Sasuke's neck causing the aforementioned body part to bleed. Feeling Sasuke had calmed down somewhat or lost too much blood from his throat to scream, Itachi used his impressively sturdy tail to hold his shocked brother flush against his body then proceeded to lick the blood off the twelve-year-old's neck. As badly as he didn't want to admit it, the coarseness of Itachi's tongue felt heavenly – which seemed odd to say since the sixteen-year-old appeared more demonic than angelic at the moment.

Sasuke had to close his eyes as he got lost in the pleasurable ministrations that heated up his entire core. When the licking ceased Sasuke slowly opened his eyes and his heart thumped loudly in his chest due to the come hither look his brother was giving him. Itachi licked his lips and Sasuke's eyes couldn't help but transfix on the appendage that was servicing him a while ago. "You don't look satisfied enough. Shall I lick you some more, master?"

Gray eyes shot open and Sasuke lunged forward in his covers slamming his head onto the bottom of the top bunk. "Fuck." He muttered rubbing his head. Narrowing his eyes, Sasuke looked around taking in the scenery that was his bedroom. Oh, so he was awake now. That was a relief since he couldn't even imagine what was going to happen next in his dream – and what a dream that was! Sighing heavily, Sasuke slumped back in his bed closing his eyes trying to calm his rapid heartbeat. When he opened his eyes again he flinched seeing the top of Itachi's head upside down, the sixteen-year-old's unamused gray eyes were staring at him and his long hair was falling down the top bunk.

"That had better been one hell of a nightmare." Itachi bit out. Sasuke squeaked his apology slinking further into his covers. Itachi was terrifying on a regular basis but a sleep deprived was ten times worse but a hungry Itachi was worst of all. The last time he pissed Itachi off when he was hungry he was getting an x-ray for his cracked ribs.

Itachi rolled back onto his bed then sat up so he could climb down the top bunk onto the floor in front of his little brother. The sixteen-year-old stared at the twelve-year-old profusely avoiding making eye contact. Sasuke wasn't exactly ready to look his brother in the eye yet; his body still felt hot from the memory of that dream alone. The twelve-year-old grimaced as Itachi sat on his bed ignoring his mental tirade.

"Hmm..." Itachi felt Sasuke's forehead with one hand and felt his with the other, "you don't have a fever." Sasuke continued grimacing as Itachi felt his neck. "Okay, exactly what the hell happened?" Sasuke's lips pulled into a tight line. Even if he wanted to tell what happened there was no way in hell he could tell Itachi what happened.

Tilting his head back, the sixteen-year-old tapped his chin. It was obvious Sasuke was on the receiving end of a nightmare. Itachi frowned; he told that little idiot he'd get a nightmare from the movie but sometimes talking to Sasuke was like talking to a fucking brick wall. In fact, sometimes it was like walking into a brick wall; painful to try and impossible to get through. Now Sasuke wasn't mature by any means and he wasn't like most kids who were in a hurry to grow up. Sasuke definitely enjoyed his childhood to the fullest but he was the type to put his pride on the line to prove a point no matter how stupid said point truly was. Fucking idiot.

Itachi put his head down and paused at the tent in his brother's sheets. After waking up from a nightmare, Sasuke always broke out in a cold sweat flushed as hell with this dazed, albeit aroused look on his face but this might be the first time he ever got hard from a nightmare... unless the twelve-year-old was into that sort of thing now. "You know..." Still grimacing, Sasuke looked up at his brother. "I know you get nightmares from scary movies but to get an erection from one is too strange, even for you."

Sasuke looked down and widened his eyes. "Holy shit!"

"Now this might be a hunch but I believe you're hitting puberty." Sasuke glanced at his brother. "Your pants weren't wet, right?" Sasuke glanced down; now that Itachi mentioned it he did feel some kind of moisture forming in his boxers but he just assumed it was sweat – with the nightmare and all. "Guess that answers my question. I must say you hitting puberty two and a half years before I did is pretty upsetting but whatever. Alright!" Itachi clapped his hands together startling Sasuke, "you remember what Kakashi said. Get in the bathroom."

Sasuke's grimace deepened. The twelve-year-old, or at the time nine-year-old, was on standby when Kakashi, Itachi's godfather, had 'the talk' with the then fourteen-year-old. It was only two and a half years ago – like Itachi said – so Sasuke wasn't all that willing to go down that road again especially since Kakashi was pretty graphic in detail. Fuck, Sasuke still had nightmares about it. None of the choices Kakashi gave them for dealing with the unpredictabilities puberty could and would dish out seemed rather appealing in Sasuke's opinion.

"Stop with the face and I wasn't giving you an option dumbass so get up." Sasuke shook his head furiously. "Oh? I see. Fine. Don't do it then explain to mom why you're pitching a tent." Sasuke pouted cutely in an attempt to wordlessly plea with his brother but Itachi countered by shaking his head. "And just so you know Sasuke... if you don't tell mom then I will."

"You can't!"

"Oh, can't I?" Itachi smirked. How dare Itachi use Sasuke's own methods of manipulation against him! Not only that but he was better at it too! And since Sasuke invented the method in question there was no known refusal or counter created for it so Sasuke sighed heavily. He couldn't possibly tell their mother about this (or let Itachi tell her); in her mind he was still her little baby – she was already heartbroken when Itachi hit puberty so this would destroy her!

Grumbling under his breath, Sasuke kicked his sheets out of his way then hobbled into the bathroom while shielding his lower half from his brother. The twelve-year-old made a mental note to come up with a counterattack in case Itachi decided to try and get him again. He closed then locked the door behind him sighing heavily once more. Wincing, he looked down at the lump in his boxers then was startled when he heard a knock on the door. "Want me to come in there?"

"N-No!" Sasuke cleared his throat, "I can do it myself."

"Not the best choice of words." He heard Sasuke groan on the other side of the door, "should I stay by the door in case you need anything?"

Sasuke paused for a moment choosing his words carefully. "It's okay, I think I can manage."

"Alright then, goodnight otōto."

"Goodnight nīsan." Sasuke glanced at the door briefly. He might share a room with Itachi but their bunk bed was quite a way from the bathroom so the sixteen-year-old might not be able to hear him if he kept his voice down. Unless Itachi possessed excellent hearing too... which wasn't completely impossible.

Glaring at the toilet bowl, Sasuke slowly pulled down his boxers hissing at the friction it caused. Courtesy of his best friend, who may or may not show signs of exhibitionist tendencies – but that was a conversation for another day, Sasuke got into the habit of sleeping without pants on so it was easier to undress at night or use the bathroom. Itachi didn't know that, nor did he need to know, despite sleeping in the same room because regardless of the weather Sasuke always slept under the covers. While he had no intention of ever telling his brother (or anyone) that he slept half-naked he was pretty sure Itachi figured it out with today's turn of events; however, there was an upside to this... Sasuke could pin his state of dress – or lack thereof – on him going into puberty and feeling hot or whatever and he just shimmied out of his clothing. Yeah, that seemed feasible.

The pervert known as Kakashi said one way to relieve ones stress of the sexual persuasion was to touch oneself in a pleasurable manner. Sasuke touched himself all the time in the shower or when he went to the bathroom or even when it itched but never with the intent he was going to today. And just what in the hell was a 'pleasurable manner' anyway? Taking a few deep breaths, Sasuke grabbed the base of his cock with his left hand gently moving it up and down the shaft. Kakashi also said it was best to visualize something to help take the edge off. Sasuke shuddered involuntarily. The image of his brother licking him was still fresh in his mind so any kind of visualization was definitely out.

The twelve-year-old's eyebrows furrowed as his cock twitched in his hand. "Son of a bitch!" He groaned then glanced toward the door half expecting Itachi to storm in then proceed to beat the shit out of him.

Visualizing his brother doing other unspeakable things to him could not possibly help relieve his stress or UST, which Kakashi told him stood for unresolved sexual tension, could it? That sounded as if it were something that could induce any entirely different type of tension and perhaps some therapy as well. Also, if it really did help then he was far more fucked up than he could even imagine!

Regardless of his brain's obvious confusion, due to intense lack of blood flow, Sasuke could not go back to sleep with the throbbing pain between his legs especially since the reason for the aforementioned throbbing was asleep on the bed above him so it was well worth a shot to use his crazy dream to relieve himself. Besides, it wasn't as though he would tell Itachi he used him in such a manner. Hell, he couldn't tell Itachi – doing it was weird enough but talking about it would be next to impossible. How the hell was he supposed to explain that he dreamt of his brother then subsequently used said dream to masturbate? Sasuke shuddered again, he felt all kinds of dirty using the word masturbate but he didn't really know any other way to describe it that made it sound any cleaner. Then again, it wasn't exactly considered a clean habit but everyone did it so whatever.

Sasuke sighed looking down. This wasn't working out the way he expected. He was no expert at this but he and his best friend did watch a lot of porn together; all kinds of porn and masturbating never seemed this difficult! According to some of the books a few of Itachi's friends (yes, even someone as vindictive as Itachi had friends) laying around their room it merely took just a few strokes before semen shot out of one's cock at a damn near violent rate. Porn wasn't all that realistic either but he should have realized it wouldn't be so easy even if it wasn't his first time.

Fuck. Sasuke glanced down as he continued to stroke himself begrudgingly imagining his dream brother coming through with the promise of more licking. Courtesy of his best friend, Sasuke knew more about sex than he cared to admit so it was obvious that was the next step in his dream and he was eternally grateful to wake up before that happened. He might have known how to have sex between two guys but he wasn't all that eager to try it out with his brother – especially since if it did happen Sasuke would take the submissive or 'female' role and if Itachi was as much of a sadist in bed as he was everywhere else it wouldn't be that much of a pleasing experience.

The twelve-year-old glanced up at the ceiling which held his flushed reflection upside down stroking his cock. Every so often he'd squeeze the tip hoping he'd get release but that pleasure was only brief since nothing happened. Sasuke frowned at his reflection. He still had no idea why his mother wanted to have mirrors on the ceilings of all the bathrooms instead of the walls like normal people but he didn't dare question her interior designing as she solely modeled the house to suit her apparent boredom when she wasn't at work or taking care of her two sons.

Eyebrows furrowing, and with his left hand still stroking his cock, he saw his cellphone on the sink counter. With his free hand, he picked it up dialing number one on the phone and pressing it against his right ear. He couldn't remember why he left it there but whatever the reason he certainly was thankful because it made things a bit more convenient as opposed to trying to sneak into the room and getting the phone. Also, another plus was this was definitely improving his multitasking abilities.

After a few seconds of seemingly endless ringing, there was a brief silence followed by a loud groan on the other end. "Someone better be dying, its five in the morning dattebayo."

Sasuke glanced at the clock hanging on the bathroom door and sure enough it was 4:57am. Whoa! "And yet your voice still resonates." Sasuke rolled his eyes at the expected muttering of obscenities then some shuffling. "Listen, I did not call to argue with you ...this time. Also, nobody is dying but this is a pretty big deal."Sasuke sighed, "wait a minute! Why are you complaining anyway? Don't you have insomnia or something?"

"Contrary to what you may think, asshole, I was asleep."

Sasuke couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, "really?"

"No... but I was nodding off." There was a slight pause that had Sasuke furrowing his eyebrows. "Alright, fine! I was wide awake. So what is this 'big deal' you called me for? I bet its something stupid."

"Its not stupid. You think I'd call you at five in the morning just to shoot the shit with you?"

"Wouldn't be the first time."

Sasuke sighed, "listen... y-you know, normally, I wouldn't call you so early in the morning without a very good reason. A-And, I do have a good reason for calling so early in the morning. You see, I called—"

"Dammit Sasuke get on with it already!"

"Nīsan said I hit puberty."

Sasuke frowned at the brief silence before he heard a hum. "Damn, well that's a conversation starter ttebayo." Some more movement was heard and Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows further. "Still, did you really feel the need to call me so early in the morning to tell me about this dattebayo? Couldn't it wait until we got to school? I suppose in theory it is a technically sound good reason and whatever but—"

"Don't hang up! I'm hard and its painful and—"

"What the shit dude? That's fucking gross. I mean seriously, eww, and didn't you get hard before hitting puberty? Its no different from then; well, sure its a little different but not much. I guess, I wouldn't know since I haven't hit puberty yet myself. But I am a few months younger than you are. Hold up, how come you didn't tell Itachi-nī about this? No wait, let me guess... you told him and he offered to help but you told him no? Typical dattebayo. You can be so damn stubborn sometimes."

"Oh really? Like you're one to talk about stubbornness."

"We're not here to argue Sasuke. Didn't you just say that?"

Sasuke sucked his teeth. "Listen man, nīsan heard me so he knows I hit puberty. We share a damn room for crying out loud but I can't exactly ask him for help. Things are awkward enough already." Sasuke sighed, the silence on the other end indicated he had his best friend's undivided attention at the moment and that was a pretty difficult accomplishment since his best friend was as attention deficit as they came not that Sasuke himself was all that much better. "You have to swear to me that you will not repeat a single word of what I am about to tell you to anyone. Am I making myself clear?"

"Is it some kind of freaky occult thing or like a revival ritual?"

"No, its nothing like that dumbass. Its top secret shit only to be told by best friends. Do you swear?"

"I swear like a sailor on a daily basis."

"I'm not sure what that means but okay." Sasuke took a deep breath. "Y-You see—"

"Don't beat around the bush this time."

"I won't! So, the reason why I'm up so early is because I was dreaming – although I guess it was more like a nightmare – a-and nīsan kissed me." After yet another brief silence Sasuke scowled at the laughter on the other side. "Dammit! Naruto, this isn't funny. It scared the hell out of me! I woke up in a cold sweat." Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed as the laughter didn't cease. "Stop laughing! A-And remember you can't say anything!"

"Come on Sasuke, I doubt anyone would believe me even if I told them dattebayo." Naruto said in between laughs. "Still, its pretty fucking hilarious hearing you lusting over your older brother."

"I fail to see the humor in it."

"Anyways, chill, you know I'm good for keeping secrets... remember~?" Sasuke cringed muttering something incoherent. "Alright, back to the present. What are you doing? Masturbating in your bathroom that you share with your brother? Chalk that up to one in your spank bank dattebayo."

"..." Sasuke frowned. "You know how much I hate the word—"

"Masturbate? I'm sooooo sorry, Sasu-chan. You're jerking off, wacking off, beating off, waxing the dolphin, playing with yourself, beating your meat, choking the chicken, fapping, rubbing one out—"

"Stop! Stop! Why the fuck do you have so many synonyms for it?!"

"Hm? I don't know. I was bored one day then started looking them up."

"So that's the kind of shit you commit to memory? What about school? You never seem to remember anything from that."

"Ugh. You sound like Kakashi-sensei ttebayo. Just to let you know, I didn't commit shit to memory. I wrote it all down and its right in front of me." Sasuke facepalmed. "Hey Sasuke, want me to play some soothing music for you on my harmonica?"

"That thing isn't soothing."

"Should I get the harp? Wait a sec... did you say you were touching yourself as in right now? I mean, you are wanking while you are on the phone with me!? That's double gross and you'd better not use my seductive voice to get off Uchiha."

"Whatever Uzumaki, like hell you're seductive. Though when you just wake up it sounds a bit different than usual..." Sasuke shook his head immediately shrugging that thought off. He was already twisted for imagining his brother in a sexual way; he couldn't afford to do the same with his best friend. "That's not important. Just stay on the damn phone until the white stuff comes out."

"You mean the white pee~?" Sasuke glowered at the phone. "Damn Sasuke, its called semen. You're supposed to use the technical terms now that you've got one foot in the doorway of adulthood."

"I'll remember that for next time and I'm sure you won't be this damn co... arrogant when it happens to you."

"You may be right, dattebayo, but for now I'll just bask in the wonders of your suffering~! After all, its not everyday I get to hear you being so miserable." Sasuke glanced at the clock that read 5:18. How the hell was he not finished yet? "Oi, Sasuke?" A monosyllabic grunt was his reply, "if you don't want any soothing music do you want some ecchi sound effects? I got a couple of Ero-tōsan's audio tapes and some films. One of them is bound to work."

"No thanks."

"Then let me ask you this... you're using some kind of moisture right? Lotion or saliva or something like that? Because you'll get one hell of a friction burn if you just blindly stroke yourself with your hands."

Sasuke stopped flatly staring at his hands. Damn, his hands were starting to hurt and get tired but he just assumed that was normal. Shit, it was a good thing he called Naruto. "What if I use something that gives me a weird reaction or a rash or something?"

"Just use regular lotion or that hypo-safe baby oil."

"I think you mean hypoallergenic."

"Whatever, use that." Grunting, Sasuke slowly removed the hand from his cock briefly and uncapped a bottle of hypoallergenic baby lotion on the sink counter then poured a bit on his cock. Yes, Sasuke used baby lotion – he had sensitive skin... plus he liked the way it felt. Putting the lotion back on the counter, he resumed stroking himself and had to admit that it did feel a bit better being so slippery. "Better?"

"A bit." Sasuke winced seeing some clear liquid oozing from the tip of his penis dribbling down to the toilet. "What the—"

"Take a chill pill dude, its only precome."

"And exactly how the hell do you know that?"

"Tsk tsk, Uchiha-tan, did you forget that my father is the supreme overlord of all things pornographic dattebayo? He gave me the sex talk when I was at the tender age of four and a half. I couldn't even pronounce some of the words he used. Hell, I still can't."

"Yeah, I know... I was there remember?"

"Hm? Oh yeah, you were really grossed out."

"You were too. Since we're talking about fathers I honestly don't remember the last time I saw mine."

"Hmm... I think it was Halloween, right?"

"I thought I saw him on Christmas. Or was that a video chat?" Sasuke shrugged, "whatever."

"You know, your erection will droop if you get depressed." Sasuke glared at the phone. "Dude, who cares when the last time you saw your dad you still got your mom around. Besides, we're not competing to see who is having a sadder childhood since I'd win with never meeting my birth parents dattebayo." Sasuke rolled his eyes sighing, "getting back to the matter at hand. Did you come yet?"

"Uh, no?"

"Maybe you should try putting your finger in your ass to speed up the process?"

"Are you out of your fucking mind?! Why the shit would I want to do something like that. Fingers don't belong anywhere near an ass."

"They do if you want to clean your ass properly and its better than putting something foreign in there... up there. I do it when I shower, it hurts less the more you do it."

"Right and I'm supposed to believe that feels good?"

"You can believe whatever you want, dattebayo, but for me it does feel kinda good. At first I was like, eww why the hell am I doing this cause it damn sure won't fit but gradually I got used to it and it started getting looser so it didn't hurt as much and it even started to feel good."

"So its like wanking?" Sasuke sighed at the laughter on the other end.

"Dude, I was waiting for you to use one of the terms! Yeah, its like wanking – hell that's exactly what it is. I can only fit one finger fully but sometimes I can fit part of two fingers."

"That's two more than me... plus I'm not really sure I wanna touch my ass."

"Remember the talk you had with dad?" Sasuke shuddered involuntarily. As badly as he wanted to forget, he remembered the conversation he had with Naruto's adopted father Jiraiya. If he thought the conversation with Kakashi was bad this increased that feeling tenfold. One minute he and the white-haired man were talking about various textures of different kinds of strawberries and the next thing Sasuke knew they were talking about anal stimulation.

While Sasuke knew Kakashi was one hell of a pervert, the white-haired man didn't hold a candle to Jiraiya who – ironically – Kakashi seemed to look up to. Uzumaki Jiraiya, also known as the great toad author, was one random man and it was blatantly obvious that Naruto developed that aspect of his insane personality from his caretaker. Sasuke truly didn't know which one he felt more sorry for. But in the end, he felt sorry for himself more because he was the one that had to put up with it. Now the only reason why Naruto knew of the conversation (aside from Jiraiya maybe telling him) was he entered the room toward the end sticking around until the monologue was done.

"It might not be such a bad idea. What other choice do you have? We gotta get ready for school soon." Sasuke glanced at the clock that read 5:32. Shit, time was flying by this morning. "You are still stroking yourself right?"

Sasuke sighed heavily. "Yes Naruto, I still am. Now, about my ass its not an entrance for fingers or anything else."

"You called me for help right? Why bother asking my opinion if you aren't going to listen to it?"

"I am listening to what you have to say but I'm not cool with having my fingers roaming around my ass. You didn't hear the entire conversation with Jiraiya-san. That shit was seriously scary. Like I need therapy scary. If I do it wrong I can get an infection, puncture my asshole, oh yeah and I'm pretty sure there was something about rectal bleeding."

"You can bleed from your asshole?"

"Apparently you can. You can bleed from your dick too."

"I know that. Still, about the ass thing, bleeding sounds better than getting an infection since there isn't any cream you could use down there. No, I'm sure there is a kind of medicine you—"

"Naruto!"

"What?!"

Sasuke shook his head. "Can you please stay on topic?"

"I am! Wasn't I?"

"Uh no, you weren't." Sasuke sighed. "Hey, my stomach kind of hurts and I feel like I gotta pee. Is that normal?"

"How the hell should I know ttebayo?"

"You're the expert here Naruto. I don't know jack shit about this. You haven't even hit puberty yet and you know more stuff than most adults who've been going through it for years!" Naruto made some kind of noise of approval and Sasuke chuckled. Sometimes his best friend was so easy to please it was downright adorable. Jiraiya taught Naruto everything he knew which explained why the twelve-year-old was so randomly well-rounded.

"I guess that would be dad's doing since he writes porn for a living." Sasuke hummed in agreement. "I just thought of something that will definitely get your juices flowing. Pun very much intended." Sasuke groaned. "Listen to this! Try imagining someone you're into, other than Itachi-nī, wearing something hot – or better yet not wearing anything at all. Visualization or something like that."

"There are two problems with that. One; when I tried visualizing, twice, it came back to nīsan and two; I don't really like anyone. Next suggestion."

"No one? Hmm... come to think of it neither do I. Okay, dig this, thinking of something that gives you physical pleasure. Like harping down at me when I screw up. Or seeing yourself eating dozens of onigiri." While the latter thought did make Sasuke's mouth water slightly it didn't really make him any hornier than he was. "Maybe thinking about eating those gross tomato flavored candies you go nuts over will help."

"They are not gross."

"Oh come on Sasuke. Tomatoes don't belong anywhere near sweets."

"What about ketchup?"

"Touché dattebayo. Nevertheless those candies were conjured in the mind of an extreme sadist."

"You're only saying that because you are a vegetable hating ramen junkie."

"I'm not a junkie. I went twelve whole ramen free hours."

"And I bet they were miserable."

Naruto sighed, "they were the worst."

"Oh! I almost forgot, I don't get off on ragging on you."

"You sure? Because it sure as hell seems that way."

"It does not—" Frowning, Sasuke looked down at the clear, whitish liquid atop the toilet.

"Sasuke? Hey, Sasuke? You're still there right? Hello~?"

"Huh? Wha—? Y-Yea, I'm still here." Sasuke continued to stare at the toilet. "I think I just came."

"Like seriously? How did it feel!? Take a picture of it!"

"Uh, alright." With a neutral expression, Sasuke took a picture of the toilet before putting the phone back against his ear. "Why did you want a picture?"

"I just do is all, not like I can get off on it or anything. So, tell me how it felt?"

"I told you like I was peeing... only a bit weirder. I can't exactly describe how weird though." Naruto sighed. "Sorry? What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, its cool. I just wanted to be prepared is all. By the way, just in case you were interested you just unlocked a new achievement – congratulations on your first orgasm Uchiha-sama; welcome to adulthood dattebayo."

"Why did you make it seem as though I was playing some kind of xbox game instead of having an orgasm?"

"Orgasm is a funny word." Sasuke facepalmed... with his clean hand. "And I refer everything to my 360. I just love it so~"

"Did you ever get that motion detecting thing?"

"Hell no. Dad won't let me. He says I'll break something with my destructive nature of self-induced injuries or something. Whatever that means."

"Duh, it means exactly what it sounds like. Uzumaki Naruto, you are pretty fucking clumsy. When we play the wii I have to stay at least ten centimeters away from you to keep safe."

"Yeah, yeah. Yuck it up Uchiha. Its all laughs with you now as opposed to you being super pissy a moment ago."

"That was the UST my friend. I thought Kakashi was just screwing around when he told me it was nothing to fuck with but I must admit I feel a tremendous weight lifted off my, uh, shoulders. Touching yourself really does relieve stress."

"How often do you think you're going to do it?"

"How often do you think I should do it?"

"I don't know. It won't like fall off or anything if you use it too much will it? Because I know your semen will get watered down if you come all the time. Its like shaking a soda, after a while it loses all the carbonation."

"That's good to know. Also, its like a soda that you left out – it'll lose carbonation that way too. Now, regarding the matter at hand I suppose I'll just do it whenever I get angry. Shut up don't say anything. Maybe biweekly?"

"Twice a week or every two weeks?"

"..." Sasuke paused, "either or. How often do you think I'll get hard?"

"Not sure but I'll tell you one thing... you will definitely get hard more times than you jerk off. Fact."

"That's true." Sasuke sighed. "You know, I don't think I thanked you for helping me."

"Ah shit man, no thanks required dattebayo. As weird and gross as it was I wouldn't have done it for anyone else but you. Its my job as your best friend. If I can't keep you sane who will, right? Besides, I'm sure you would have done the same if our roles were reversed... although I'm sure you'd do it with far less enthusiasm."

"I know that's right but I think you were only enthusiastic just to make fun of me."

"Sasu-tan, you know me all too well ttebayo." Sasuke shook his head. "Yo, you think Itachi-nī heard you? He's a light sleeper, ne? Remember when we tried throwing him that surprise party but he overheard you then crashed it."

"I still don't know how someone can crash their own surprise party." Sasuke paled. Shit! Naruto had a point. Not about the party bit but Itachi was a ridiculously light sleeper. That explained why hitting his head against the bunk woke his brother up. After getting off Itachi was the furthest thing from his mind... and that was where he intending to have his brother (both dream and reality) stay! "Y-You don't think I was loud, do you? Wait a sec..." Frowning, Sasuke put the phone down then wiped the cooling remnants of his release off his hand before pulling up his boxers and tucking himself in. He, then, washed his hands and finally put the phone back against his ear. "I'm back."

"Dude, what were you doing?"

"I cleaned myself off." Sasuke glanced down at the toilet frowning, "though I need to clean this toilet now... damn this shit is messy."

"You should get some condoms."

"To jerk off with?"

"Why not? I mean they were made to keep everything inside, right? Oh, I know, lets get some after school?"

"Right. Two twelve-year-olds shopping for condoms? Yeah, that sounds like a real swell idea Naruto."

"We got porn magazines in the convenience store and we were only nine then."

"Speaking of getting... did you get the picture yet?"

"I don't know I can't check pictures while on the phone. I'm due for an upgrade around your birthday so I'll get it then."

"I'm due for an upgrade around my birthday too. Oh right, we got the phones together. Hey... shouldn't you have condoms at your house?"

"No, why?"

"Not you, per se, I meant your dad. You said he's always going out and getting research for his books so he should bound to have a few laying around."

"As far as I know he's either always carrying them with him or he's constantly running out." Sasuke shuddered. That was more about Jiraiya than he cared to know – ever. "I'd ask but I'm sure he'd freak out. What the hell, its worth a shot. I'll ask before I go to school."

"How much time do you have left?"

"Hm? About a half hour which means you're only gonna get about an hour of sleep."

"Fuck. Oh well, I guess its better than nothing and if anything I can just sleep in class."

"That's not something a model student should do Uchiha-chin."

"Yeah, whatever. Oh and thanks again man. Really."

"You're welcome ...and just remember that you owe me, okay? See you on the bus~"

Sasuke sighed, "back at you." Chuckling, the twelve-year-old hung up the phone. It was great to have a best friend like Naruto around; someone who would help you masturbate at five in the morning when you hit puberty even though its a school day. A person who would help you unconditionally, despite playful ridicule, and wouldn't judge. Sasuke had to wonder if he took Naruto's kindness for granted sometimes but he did just as many things for Naruto as Naruto did for him. Having a brother like Itachi made Sasuke eternally grateful to have his brother's complete opposite in his corner. The twelve-year-old cleaned then flushed the toilet and washed his hands again before slowly opening the bathroom door and looking around. It would do him no good to have Itachi pop up in front of him ...like last time.

Once the coast was clear, Sasuke stepped out of the bathroom then quietly closed the door behind him before sprinting to his bed diving under his disheveled covers. He still all movement briefly waiting for any sounds, particularly the ones that might be coming from his brother, before nestling comfortably under his covers.

… …

Sasuke had no idea how long he was asleep for but the sunlight rudely shone into his room – whose windows were absent from both curtains and any other sort of sun blocking device – waking him up. Narrowing his eyes, the twelve-year-old pulled the covers over his face and rolled over so his back was facing the sun. He fully intended on going back to sleep when the covers were harshly ripped from his grasp.

Just when he was about to curse out whoever did that he shrank back seeing his brother smiling at him. Itachi smiling was never a good thing; it was often synonymous with doom. "Good morning Sasuke." He greeted a bit too chipper for Sasuke's liking. "How did you manage last night? This morning... you know what I mean. I bet Naruto-kun was really helpful, wasn't he?"

Sasuke bolted from his bed hitting his head on the top bunk again, "what?" He asked rubbing his head. He really needed to stop doing that.

"Feigning ignorance are we?" Itachi shook his head. "Must we go through this same song and dance repeatedly? Give me a little credit Sasuke I'm perfectly aware of you not taking my offered help then hypocritically calling your best friend asking him for help."

Sasuke merely stared at his brother wide eyed. If he said anything it would just have the gears in Itachi's head turning and he'd know what was going on – at the same time he'd be on the ass end of an ass kicking if he kept Itachi out of the loop. Which was the lesser of two evils? Risking broken bones or never being able to face his brother again? Hmmm... he'd have to go with the former on this one.

The twelve-year-old was about to get out of bed when he remembered he wasn't wearing any pants so he settled for glaring at his brother. "I have to take a shower for school."

"Don't let me stop you." Muttering under his breath, Sasuke grabbed the blanket over his covers and wrapped it around him before he hauled ass to the bathroom shutting the door. Itachi heard his little brother slam his head against the bathroom door and he couldn't help but chuckle. Sometimes Sasuke was so damn fun to mess with. The sixteen-year-old glanced at Sasuke's cellphone which was partially under his pillow. Now Itachi knew Sasuke called his best friend to help him out because in some bizarre way it was less weird to have your best friend give his input about your first orgasm as opposed to your older brother. Who knew?

Shrugging, Itachi flipped through the contents of Sasuke's phone. Yes it was an invasion of privacy but so fucking what? Sasuke was twelve, no wait... he was twelve and a half or some shit like that, so he wasn't entitled to any real privacy – at least not where Itachi was concerned. Besides there would be nothing in his phone but stupid pictures of a pair of twelve year old idiots doing dumb shit. First thing Itachi did was scroll through the list of contacts which was a complete waste of time since Sasuke had no friends other than his best friend of eight years and who the hell knew why Naruto put up with Sasuke sometimes. Other than that it was just members of the family (i.e. Itachi, their mother, their father, their cousin or something Obito and Itachi's godfather Kakashi who was like family so he fit into that category). Next was his apps which was another waste of time since Sasuke was anything but techno savvy; the only apps on the twelve-year-old's phone were built in and rarely used – if they were used at all. Finally, Itachi took a gander at the pictures and wasn't surprised in the least when he saw the two idiots together in almost every picture. Oh look, there was a picture of a plate of onigiri. That was ...different. Itachi sighed. Damn Sasuke was boring; that was his initial thought until he froze staring at a picture of what he hoped was lotion on the toilet bowl. Was Sasuke so fucking bored that he took a picture of his semen and saved it on his phone?

Itachi returned the phone to its original position raising an eyebrow at the wallpaper he almost didn't notice. He was half expecting to see the two idiots making faces or obscene gestures but it was a picture something he couldn't quite make out and he didn't really get the chance to because Sasuke snatched the phone from the bed. "Don't you know its rude to look through people's stuff?"

"Its also rude to take pictures of yourself masturbating."

Sasuke was about to retort when their mother called them from downstairs. "Itachi! Sasuke! Hurry up, your bus should be here any minute!" Grumbling under his breath, Sasuke stormed passed Itachi stomping downstairs startling their mother. "Oh! Good morning sweetie." She kissed her second born on the cheek.

"I'm not feeling too good mom... can I stay home today?"

"Ah what?" Itachi walked down the stairs elbowing his brother. "You're not gonna buy that are you? He's faking it."

"You don't know that." The blue-haired woman ruffled Sasuke's already unruly hair. "I'll let you stay home but I have to work today. Will you be alright by yourself?" Sasuke nodded.

"Mom, you're seriously going to let him stay home? Just like that? You're not even gonna take his temperature or anything?"

"Oh honey, under normal circumstances I would love to indulge you but I'm going to be late for work." She kissed her first born on the forehead. "Sasuke, no matter what you're going to school tomorrow." The twelve-year-old nodded slowly. "Good. Love you." Blowing a kiss at both of them, the blue-haired woman put her shoes on then walked out the door.

Sasuke gulped as Itachi glared at him. "This isn't over otōto, I'll deal with you when I get home." Itachi continued to glare at his brother as he put his shoes on then he walked out of the house closing and locking the door behind him.

Sasuke sighed in relief. He was home alone~ A newly pubescent twelve-year-old in a house alone? Nah. Playing yourself would get kind of tiring if he did it all day so for now he was just going to go back to sleep.

… …

Sasuke awoke for the second – technically the third – time today and, once again, he banged his head on the bottom of the top bunk. "Shit..." He muttered rubbing his head. In the three years they had that thing he never got used to it. He had several bruises to prove said fact. Yawning, he got out of bed and stretched. In his haste to get back to bed he kept his uniform on and now it was wrinkled. Great. Sighing, he shrugged off his jacket then pulled his pants down.

A loud whistle caught his attention and Sasuke turned to the door. "Now that's a sight for sore eyes~" Sasuke defensively pulled his pants up as he saw a grinning, bespectacled blond leaned in the doorway with his hands loosely gripping his backpack. "Don't tell me the show is over dattebayo?"

"What the hell are you even doing here Naruto?"

"Isn't it obvious? Shit. And you call me stupid." Sasuke glared at the blond walking into the room and making himself comfortable on the bed. "Oh don't stop on my account."

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's whiskered cheeks stretching them. "Did you skip school?"

"Hell nah!" Sasuke released his face. "Mikoto-san asked me to check on you after school but that was after Itachi-nī threatened to castrate me if I left early." The blond showed Sasuke his phone as prove; the time on the screen read 5:47pm. Sasuke blinked at the wallpaper which displayed a dancing bowl of steaming ramen. Only Naruto could have something so obnoxious and think it was okay.

"So mom asked you to play nurse for me?" His response was Naruto waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Stop that perv." He slapped Naruto on the forehead. "I can't believe mom doesn't think I can take care of myself..."

"Come on dude, I don't think that's why she called me ya know?"

Sasuke looked him up and down, "I guess. Oh! Before you ask, I didn't tell nīsan about my dream."

"I'd ask if you were out of your mind if you did dattebayo."

"However..." Naruto rose both eyebrows, "he did ask what we spoke about this morning and because I didn't tell him he said he'd deal with me later which could be any minute."

"Hey man, you never know..." Naruto shrugged flopping back on Sasuke's bed, "he might just make your dream a reality."

"Don't even joke about that shit Naruto."

"Well, you had the entire house to yourself since this morning so you had to think about it ttebayo."

"Of course I thought about ...you know, but I wasn't hard so I didn't see the point." Sasuke shrugged taking off his pants and throwing them at Naruto's face. Then, he pulled out a pair of pants from the drawer in his bed and put them on. He took the pants off Naruto's face then hung it up along with his jacket against the outside of the bathroom door. "You hungry?"

"Sure!" The duo left the bedroom and headed downstairs to the kitchen, "exactly what did you do here today?'

"Sleep."

"All day?"

Sasuke nodded. "You forget that I didn't get much sleep due to ...what happened so I welcomed the extra hours." Sasuke rummaged through the refrigerator then the freezer below. "I want some fries."

"Ooh, make some burgers too~"

Sasuke looked over his shoulder and stared at the blond seated on one of the stools spinning around, "you could get off your ass and help me."

"Hey, I'm a guest dattebayo!"

"You stopped being a guest here six years ago the second time you visited and my mom gushed all over you." Sighing, Naruto slid off the stool standing next to Sasuke sulking. "Don't whine dobe." Sasuke pinched the blond's whiskered cheeks again. The blond had a perfectly pinchable face and Sasuke took advantage of that fact. "I'll buy popcorn next time we see a movie."

Naruto swatted the hands away from his face, "you still owe me two tubs of popcorn dattebayo. Oh! Speaking of owe..." Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed as Naruto took a box out of his bag. "Ta-dah~! May I present to you—"

"You actually bought condoms!?" Naruto grimaced allowing himself to be embraced by Sasuke. "You're the best usuratonkachi, this is better than those tomato pattern pajamas you gave me for my birthday last year."

"Routine dental work is better than those teme." Sasuke glared at him. "Anyway, I didn't buy them for you... Sai did."

Naruto sighed as he was released and stared at incredulously. "You told him?"

"Chill out would you ttebayo? What good would it do me to tell him?" Sasuke stared at him unconvinced. "I simply asked if he would be willing to buy something for me and he said okay. The consent age is thirteen so he had a better chance of getting them than I did. Or would you have preferred to wait another month and a half and get them yourself?"

"Did you tell him they were for me?"

"As if you need another reason to hate him ttebayo? Of course I didn't tell him they were for you! I just said I needed condoms for experimental reasons." Sasuke facepalmed. "You know I'm not a good liar! Anyway, getting off the subject I'm tacking on the favors you owe me."

"I know, I owe you two favors for today and who knows how many more. Lets just say its an even fifty."

"Sounds good to me although it was nowhere near fifty."

"What!?"

"Let's make some food, hm?"

… …

Gray eyes slowly opened to the obnoxious blaring of Itachi's alarm clock. As the siblings attended the same school – despite their four year age difference because the school they attended was both a junior and a senior high school – it made more sense to have one alarm set for both of them then have the brothers go through the hilarious daily battle of being the first to use the shower. Sasuke usually lost due to Itachi being a jerk... a faster, bigger jerk. Wait! Sasuke stared at the top bunk listening for any sounds other than the alarm. Once he didn't hear the sound of his brother getting up or the sound of the alarm going off Sasuke rolled out of bed then tip toed into the bathroom closing the door behind him. He looked around the bathroom making sure Itachi wasn't already inside then did a mental cheer. He got to use the shower first today! Whistling, he turned on the water and disrobed.

Meanwhile on the other side of the bathroom Itachi slowly rose from bed yawning after he could no longer take the sound of his alarm. He glared at the alarm clock hanging on his wall then shut it off with a sigh. Yesterday was hell, pure and simple. It started off with his sleep getting disrupted due to his little brother's pubescent shrieking, then the bus came late which made him late for school, next he had a test in damn near every class, after that it rained during outdoor physical education and to top everything off he was pretty certain someone stole his jacket. Oh but how was Sasuke's day? Yes, Itachi had to wonder about that. The little shit hit puberty and got a free day doing who knows what. When Itachi hit puberty it was in school (physical education of all things) so he obviously didn't get the luxury of relaxing at home to deal with his body's new found rebellion.

When Itachi got home last night he saw Sasuke and Naruto cramming pizza into one another's mouths so he left them to their devices and retired early. He clearly wasn't in the mood to deal with their stupidity.

Sasuke chose that exact moment to exit the bathroom clad in the Myōboku High uniform – a gray gakuran that loosely encased his scrawny, underdeveloped body devoid of any sort of musculature.

"Damn, took you long enough. I could only imagine what you did in there." Itachi shook his head coming down the bunk bed ladder. Sasuke blushed but instead of turning pink or red like most normal people, the twelve-year-old's skin tone actually lightened when he blushed as in the case of right now. Itachi figured this particular ...phenomenon was hereditary because it happened with their mother as well. "No, I won't even bother. Its too easy." The sixteen-year-old commented walking past his brother going into the bathroom.

As Itachi was in the shower, Sasuke unbuttoned his pants to take two paper bags out of said article of clothing. Their uniforms didn't have pockets so this was his only option. He walked over to his bed, opened the bag to check the contents, then stuffed said bag into his bed drawer under his mattress. With the other paper bag, he put it in a plastic bag then threw the bag in the trash under his computer desk. As rare as it was, Naruto was right – those condoms worked wonderfully. Not only was there no mess with his early morning ejaculation but Itachi would be none the wiser since there was no evidence to bust him. Sasuke was fortunate to stash a paper bag full of condoms in the secret compartment in the bathroom and he had another paper bag in his bed drawer. The latter was risky but Itachi didn't go through his stuff (excluding his phone) because Sasuke deliberately kept his shit messy so it would be too much trouble to look through. Which explained why Itachi never found the pornographic magazines he had in his bookshelf. It was the perfect ruse putting them there; they weren't hidden to bring about suspicion nor were they in plain sight to be obvious. Taking his jacket off the bathroom door Sasuke put it on and buttoned it up, then he buttoned his pants up again. It was June so students were permitted to wear their spring/summer (i.e. warmer weather) uniforms but Sasuke wasn't all that willing to yet. Plus it wasn't even hot outside.

A fully clothed Itachi emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later wearing his spring uniform which was a gray button-up shirt and navy pants. Since Itachi's gakuran jacket disappeared after physical education yesterday he didn't really have much of a choice but to wear this. Damn he hated this uniform.

Sasuke took a look at his brother. The sixteen-year-old's hair was mussed falling down below his shoulder instead of its usual maintained ponytail. Unlike most schools, Myōboku High accepted long hair for their males as long as it was neatly in a ponytail or something. Sasuke didn't know the exact rules nor did he give a damn about them since he didn't have long hair.

The sixteen-year-old easily put his hair in its ponytail. The high school student's spring uniforms had ties and as a student in the advance placement class he had a pin on his collar. Sasuke was also in an advance placement class so he had a pin on his collar too but those pins didn't look like the high school pins. There were also roman numeral pins on the other side of the collar on everyone's uniform signaling what grade they were in.

"Sasuke! You're not missing school again today." Mikoto called down from the bottom of the stairs. "You're not skipping either Itachi!"

The brothers slowly walked down the stairs staring at their beaming mother. "Good morning to my two handsome sons~"

"Morning..." Was the simultaneous, less enthusiastic reply.

"Do you two want anything to eat?" Sasuke's eyes widened as did Itachi's. Their mother... what could be said about Uchiha Mikoto? She was a sweet, selfless, caring, wonderful woman – most of the time – but she was a dreadfully horrible cook. Like, inedible awful. The last time Sasuke ate her cooking for breakfast he was in the infirmary an entire day then the day after. But how did you tell your mother she was a bad cook? Uh, you didn't. Unless you had some sort of death wish.

"We really should be going mom." Itachi said.

"Oh... well I have money for both of your lunches then. I didn't get the chance to make anything since I was working last night but I'm off today so I'll make something."

"Or we can order takeout?" Sasuke suggested with a shrug. "So you don't have to worry about..."

"—Slaving in the kitchen." Itachi added. "You deserve a break."

"Why thank you boys. We'll order out then." The boys sighed in relief. "Right, the money..." The twelve-year-old nodded taking his wallet out of his bag. With no pockets (in both uniform versions or the alternate) and he wasn't going to put anything in his shoe locker other than his shoes his backpack was his only option – it never left his side anyway.

Courtesy of Naruto, Sasuke opened his frog shaped wallet and his mother put several rolled up bills in there chuckling. It looked like the frog was opening its mouth when it opened. Sasuke had no idea where Naruto got something so gaudy but the blond seemed to be as obsessed with frogs as he was with the color orange. Sasuke often hoped with all the time they spent together his taste would rub off on Naruto but to no avail. He was even more hopeful that Naruto's tastes wouldn't rub off on him and so far he was fortunate.

Itachi's wallet was next to have money put in it but he had a normal, boring black leather wallet. Mikoto kissed her first born on the cheek then her second. "Oh! I almost forgot, I need to talk to Itachi for a second?" Nodding, Sasuke put his shoes on in the genkan then left the house saying goodbye.

"Is something the matter mom?"

"No... I just want you to keep an eye on your brother." Mikoto sighed, "I can't help but worry about him sometimes. He hasn't made any friends since... well he's never made a friend! Other than Naruto-kun and that was eight years ago." The blue-haired woman sighed again, "don't get me wrong I love Naruto-kun like a son but I just wish Sasuke could make more friends we could grow to love."

"We?"

"Admit it. You love Naruto-kun just as much as you love Sasuke." Itachi shrugged muttering a meh. "Just think of how many more people can love Sasuke as much as we do."

"Hmm... as tempting as the though is I don't think its physically possible for Sasuke to make friends given his personality. Its best for him to just have one or two true friends than thousands of fake ones, right?" Itachi headed over to the genkan toeing on his shoes. "But on the subject of love. You should be happy to know he has accumulated quite the impressive fanbase and its not because he's my little brother either."

"That really does not make me feel better. I don't care about Sasuke being popular, I want him to have friends. Yes, I agree with him having less real friends as opposed to internet or fake ones that use him for his looks." Mikoto sighed once more, "you don't know what its like worrying about Sasuke all the time. You know how depressed he gets when Naruto-kun goes on trips with Jiraiya-san."

"Then let Sasuke go with them?" Itachi paused staring at his mother, "are you trying to detach Naruto-kun and Sasuke? Is that what this is about?"

"No! I...I just want Sasuke to have other people to lean on. He's been with Naruto-kun for eight years... that's more than half of his life."

"Exactly, those idiots are like different halves of the same person; platonic soul mates or something. In most cases Naruto-kun is all Sasuke needs. I'm sure when he's older he'll accommodate you but for now I think its best to let nature deal with this sort of thing. Besides, as his older brother it is my sworn civic duty making sure he does not turn into a hikikomori and Naruto-kun will definitely not allow that either. Sasuke's got three people in that school looking out for him so there is no problem. Well if you include my friends its more than three but I digress. Sasuke may be a bit socially ...unbalanced but he could be a lot worse."

Mikoto sighed again, "true. Although I'm not too certain that Kakashi-kun is looking out for Sasuke. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. Thanks sweetie."

"Don't mention it. Love you."

"Love you too." She walked over to the genkan kissing Itachi on the cheek. The bus stop was less than five minutes away from the Uchiha household. It was located near the kōban at the end of the street in case of any trouble and there was a lot of trouble considering the bus was full of junior and senior high school students and not just those going to Myōboku either; there were like three schools in the surrounding area or something plus a university, not to mention the adults that boarded due to the places of employment around. Once Itachi got to the bus stop he saw Sasuke leaning back against the bench.

Itachi figured one reason why their mother – despite what she said – was so ...weird about Sasuke and Naruto's friendship was the blond lived in another town who knows how far from here and Sasuke was always going over there for one reason or another. Sure he asked in advanced but he was there more than he was home. Another reason might have been Naruto's father but that was a whole different can of worms Itachi had no interest in opening. Sasuke leaned back more looking at his brother, "what did mom want to talk to you about?"

"You." Nodding, Sasuke put his head upright. "Speaking of talking... what exactly were you and Naruto-kun talking about yesterday that had to be continued last night?"

"Stupid twelve-year-old stuff, you wouldn't be interested in it."

Itachi glared at him. Sasuke wasn't exactly an expert when it came to keeping secrets or lying so he'd avoid the subject altogether to save his ass. No matter, as tight lipped as his brother was Itachi would find out one way or another.

Sasuke must have seen the bus coming because he got off the bench and started stretching. On the subject of the bus, Itachi never actually asked Naruto how many stops were between the blond's and theirs nor exactly how long it took to get here but when the bus came Naruto was normally on it. If the twelve-year-old wasn't on the bus it meant he was either skipping or Jiraiya was giving him a lift – it could also mean he missed the bus and settled on the train. The one reason why Naruto didn't take the train on a regular basis was because there was no stop remotely close to the Uchiha house. If they didn't take the bus to school everyday together Sasuke would bitch at him (Itachi, not Naruto) and that wasn't something the sixteen-year-old wanted to put up with so early. An hour and a half listening to Sasuke bitching was not appealing in the slightest.

The bus came to a halt and everyone boarded in a semi-orderly fashion. Itachi walked behind his brother going to the back where the bespectacled blond was sprawled out with his legs on a black-haired boy who really didn't seem to mind. Not only was this a way to get some sleep as a potential nocturnal insomniac might need but it also saved Sasuke a seat. Of course when the bus was crowded Naruto couldn't really get away with this and he merely leaned on the black-haired boy's shoulder.

The black-haired boy in question looked up from the book he was presumably reading seeing Itachi and Sasuke approach. "Ohayō senpai, ohayō Sasuke-kun." The boy easily slid over putting the blond's upper body on his lap and the legs on the now seated Sasuke. Itachi nodded his greeting grabbing an empty seat in front of Sasuke steering clear from yet another fight the two of them would undoubtedly engage in. If their mother only saw Sasuke's daily school behavior she wouldn't bother questioning his ability to form friendships.

In most instances that whole 'your friend is my friend' scenario was true for best friends as close as Sasuke and Naruto but Shimura Sai was the antithesis to that statement, he wasn't the sole antithesis but Itachi knew Sasuke detested Sai more than any of the other people Naruto was acquainted with. For reasons beyond comprehension, Sasuke could not tolerate the mere presence of Sai and he had the feeling the black-haired thirteen-year-old knew this and deliberately did things to piss him off. Sai was (close to a year older) and in the grade above Naruto and himself but since Sai and Naruto lived in the same neighborhood they rode the bus together everyday for the entire time.

Itachi watched the display out of the corner of his eyes waiting for something to happen. Sai glanced down at Naruto who had a bit of drool coming out of his open mouth. Even for someone as unnaturally cute as Naruto the scene wasn't too attractive. Sai then poked the blond's whiskered cheek causing him to stir rolling over so that he was snuggling into the black-haired boy's abdomen. Sighing in relief, Sai resumed reading his opened book.

Sasuke had absolutely no comprehensible idea why Naruto and Sai were friends or even associated with one another other than the fact that they lived close by and attended the same school. The hyperactive, bespectacled blond befriended the strangest of individuals and Sasuke – unfortunately – had to include himself in that particular category. If it wasn't for Naruto's curious nature and penchant for bright colors they wouldn't be as close as they were now so it wasn't necessarily a bad thing that Naruto was friendly however if his friendly nature brought on more weirdos like Sai the bad clearly outweighed the good.

Naruto rolled over again before suddenly springing up somehow fitting perfectly between Sasuke and Sai. The blond adjusted his glasses looking to the right at Sai before turning to his left seeing his best friend. "Hey." He greeted. Sasuke stared at the azure eyes behind clear lenses and sighed mumbling his greeting. It was disgustingly hard to stay mad at or even get mad at Naruto – at least it was difficult for him, he couldn't really speak for anyone else. "Check it out, I got new glasses dattebayo." He took them off handing them to Sasuke who inspected them.

Naruto was terribly farsighted (he was also shortsighted but that was irrelevant) so he often squinted when trying to see things up close. His latest pair of eye-wear had orange frames – no real surprise there. Sasuke wondered when Naruto would get a pair of glasses with his favorite color. The last few pairs were either navy or black and there was even a pair of brown frames. Jiraiya must have no longer cared since he let the blond get these because when Sasuke went to Naruto's second to last appointment the blond picked out a bright orange frame and was rebuffed. This particular pair was red-orange which was probably why it wasn't too awful to look at. "You didn't have these on yesterday."

Naruto tilted his head to the left, "I didn't?" Sasuke shook his head. "That's right! Dad took them home after my doctor's appointment."

"You told me you didn't skip school."

"I didn't. I went to school as usual then dad took me out for the appointment then he brought me back."

"That seems like a lot of work."

"It was but its okay. I don't need truancy coming after my ass again. Oh, get this..." Naruto began taking his glasses back from Sasuke. "Sensei said my vision is correcting itself because I'm not doing that thing I used to do anymore. So, long story short, I might not even need to wear glasses anymore dattebayo!"

"That's great but you've been wearing glasses since I've known you so it'll take some getting use to not seeing you with them."

"Speaking of getting use to..." Sasuke flinched as Naruto bounced impossibly closer to him wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "did it work?" Sasuke nodded. "That means you did it this morning, right?"

"I don't really want to talk about this right now but I did."

"How am I supposed to find out what happened dattebayo?"

"Maybe you could ask after school or another time when we're not on a bus full of people?"

"Alright, alright. I get it..."

Nearly forty minutes later the bus reached their stop and about half of the people on board exited heading toward Myōboku High School a block down from the stop. Sasuke walked ahead with Itachi listening to Naruto loudly marvel at Sai's supposed 'artwork' on the sketchpad perpetually glued to the thirteen-year-old's side. "I must say your jealousy is downright adorable otōto." The twelve-year-old glanced up at his brother. "Naruto-kun's friendship with Shimura-kun and the fact that you two aren't even in the same class because you're in the 'advance placement' class while he's with the 'regulars' you can't monopolize his time like you did in elementary school and that is what makes this situation cute."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't I?" Itachi stared at him momentarily before nodding. Sasuke's eyes narrowed at Itachi's expression but before he could comment Naruto happily bounced over to them as they entered the building.

"Bye Sai, see ya at lunch ttebayo!" The bespectacled blond shucked off his shoes taking his uwabaki out of his shoe locker replacing them with his orange sneakers. The blond, as always, was also wearing an orange undershirt with his slightly unbuttoned gakuran; he also had orange earrings and an orange wristband on. Naruto was all about expressing his individuality that much was certain but it would seem that the public morals committee would be on the blond's ass yet again but either Naruto really adored the extra attention or he didn't seem to care that he kept 'breaking the rules.' Regardless of the reason, he kept doing it.

Itachi patted the blond on the head ruffling his already unruly hair. "I'll see you two around. Gotta head to my shoe locker." The sixteen-year-old gave his brother and brother's best friend the two fingered salute before disappearing around the corner with the other high school shoe lockers.

As he was putting on his uwabaki, Sasuke looked down noticing Naruto's slippers had an orange stripe going across them. Yup, the public morals committee would definitely be on his ass today. "When did you get time to trick out your slippers? You didn't have those on Wednesday."

Naruto looked down examining his footwear, "dad bought a whole bunch of them because they were on sale. He brought these yesterday when my old uwabaki got destroyed in a miniature volcano explosion in art class." Sasuke gaped at him. Did he say his slippers were destroyed? In an explosion during art class? What the hell kind of art were they doing? "You want me to get a navy pair for you?"

"Sure. I don't think I'll wear them to school though, I don't want to get as much attention as you."

"Come on dude, I can't be the only one in the school without boring white uwabaki?" Sasuke shrugged, "you serious right now ttebayo?" After closing their shoe lockers the duo began walking down the hall until a loud gurgling noise made Naruto stop, "was that your stomach?" Grimacing, Sasuke nodded.

"Mom offered to make breakfast so nīsan and I practically ran out of the house." Sasuke sighed, "I'm fucking starving... and I should have gone to the convenience store while I was waiting for the damn bus."

Tsking, Naruto took a box of tomato flavored pretz and tapped it against Sasuke's head. "You'd be so screwed without me dattebayo." Sasuke nodded in agreement while stuffing his face. Naruto watched in rapt fascination as Sasuke eagerly gobbled up the entire box taking minimal breaks. "Damn..."

"You're the best." Sasuke said patting the blond the shoulder. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Remember you're coming to my classroom at lunch. You forgot didn't you?" Sasuke blinked at Naruto for a second before shaking his head. Since they started junior high over two months ago Naruto always came to Sasuke's classroom so they could eat lunch together whether it was in the classroom, the hallway, or on the 'forbidden' rooftop but for some reason Sasuke never ate lunch in Naruto's classroom. With the blond's voracious (sometimes inhuman) appetite, Sasuke was sure Naruto ate lunch in his class as well as Sasuke's when he visited.

Prior to Sasuke's current internal predicament he told Naruto he'd eat lunch with him in his class although he couldn't remember why. Chalk it up to one of the many favors he owed Naruto. Nevertheless, hanging out with Naruto for eight years made Sasuke a man of his word so he'd do it whatever the reason and knowing Naruto it was definitely a stupid reason he was glad not to remember but that didn't mean he shouldn't honor it.

"Don't insult me baka, I'll be there." The blond merely stared adjusting his glasses. "Stop giving me that skeptical look. I said I'll be there so I'll be there." Shrugging, Naruto started walking up the stairs. "I'll see you at lunch!" Sasuke yelled standing by the staircase before he trudged into his classroom. Before he stepped inside his classroom the intercom screeched loudly causing everyone in the vicinity to cover their ears from its horrid sound.

"Ahem! Testing... testing... testing!? Is this thing on? What? It is! Oh! Alright then. Ahem. Uchiha Sasuke of class 1-2 please report to Principal Ōnoki's office immediately. Thank you. I repeat, Uchiha Sasuke of class 1-2 to the principal's office. Thank you." Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed at the ceiling. The principal's office? He was never called there before. The teacher glanced in his direction nodding before turning his attention back to the rest of the class.

"What did you do?" Naruto asked coming down the stairs.

"What did I do? I didn't do anything! A-At least I don't think I did anything. Mom knows I missed school yesterday so I don't know what could have happened..."

"This isn't elementary school, dattebayo, you're not gonna get called to the office because of something I did. This is all you bro." Shit! The blond was right! In elementary school, particularly their last three years, whenever Naruto did something or even thought of doing something he and Sasuke were called to the office. There were often times in which only Sasuke was called to prevent Naruto from doing something – as if he could. But they were first years in junior high, mere nobodies – although Naruto spent a good amount of time in the principal's office even though the school year just began. Sasuke sighed and Naruto reassuringly patted him on the back. "I'm sure its nothing, you're like a good student and whatever. Hey, maybe Itachi-nī did something and you need to be there?"

"I suppose, in theory, that might be the case but you forget that nīsan doesn't do anything wrong because he's fucking perfect." Naruto shrugged then Sasuke sighed again. "I'll see you at lunch, hopefully." Nodding, Naruto trudged back up the stairs while Sasuke headed to the office.

Unfortunately both the principal and the vice principal's offices were located in the 'high school part' of this ever confusing building due to the sole bullshit reason of senior high school students getting into more trouble than junior high school students – clearly Naruto was the antithesis. Myōboku was solely a senior high school until just a few years ago but no one knew why they changed it. Here might have been called the 'high school part' but there were several junior high classrooms located here; coincidentally the part of the building were Sasuke was in was the 'junior high part' with mostly junior high classes though there were a couple of high school classrooms.

As he was walking a couple of females whistled and cooed loudly at him. Blushing, Sasuke picked up the place. That was but one of the reasons why he hated coming here! Some of those high school girls had no shame considering he had to be at least three years younger than them! He was already flushed due to hitting puberty yesterday so he didn't need some kind of misunderstanding that would get him felt up by an upperclassman. Not that being felt up would be a bad thing.

"Sasuke?" The twelve-year-old's eyes widened at the sound of his brother's voice. "You get called to the office too?" Itachi sighed, "what did you do now?"

"I didn't do anything." He hissed. "Maybe you did something."

"I doubt I did anything wrong and even if I did it wouldn't concern you." As Sasuke began grumbling to himself Itachi knocked on the principal's door and it was answered with a gruff enter. The siblings exchanged brief glances before opening the doors.

"Ah! Itachi-kun, Sasuke-kun. Come in. Shut the door, would you?" Itachi walked in first and Sasuke followed suit closing the door before taking the empty seat next to his brother. Sasuke was surprised to see their parents occupying the two chairs on the other side of him. It figures Itachi would leave that seat just for him. Whatever was going on had to be pretty bad to have both of them there. "Alright, now that we're all here—" The white-haired man looked up as an endowed redhead came barreling into the room.

"Sorry Ōnoki-san." She said bowing. "I was tied up with something. Greetings Uchiha family." She said walking over to the white-haired man's chair sitting on the edge.

"As I was saying..." He began again glancing at the vice principal who shrugged. "We're all here now so lets begin... I'd like to introduce you to our new transfer student in the foreign exchange program." A side door opened and a bespectacled redhead walked in heading to the desk bowing timidly. "This is Senju Karin-kun."

Sasuke and Itachi glanced at the girl then exchanged questionable glances before returning their attention to the principal. "Why are we meeting her?" Itachi asked before Sasuke had the opportunity to.

Ōnoki stared at their parents and their father, Fugaku, stared right back at him unflinchingly while Mikoto seemed as confused as her children – if anything the blue-haired woman seemed a bit more confused. "I'll assume no one told you Senju-kun is going to live with you?" The siblings stared blankly at the principal. How the hell could you not tell your kids some girl, a complete stranger, was going to live with them? Especially when your kids were at 'impressionable' ages? Itachi knew their mother always wanted a daughter (the fact that she had both of them dress up like girls in their younger days was proof enough) but she could have at least told them beforehand. However, judging by her shocked expression she wasn't all that knowledgeable about this situation herself. It was typical of their father to pull a stunt like this without consulting anyone nor giving a damn; the man was barely home anyway.

Fugaku didn't seem the least bit concerned about the awkward silence going on; he also didn't seem too concerned with his wife staring incredulously at him. While his father was sitting there clearly not giving a shit, Sasuke took the opportunity to stare at the girl who was blushing slightly. She was already in her spring uniform and she had an advance placement pin on the collar opposite her roman numeral I collar.

"Senju-kun will be in class 1-2." Sasuke wasn't surprised. He would have facepalmed but he didn't see the point right now. This girl was either in 1-2 because she was considered 'smart' by the higher-ups or they wanted her to be closer to her new housemate.

"Speaking of class..." Fugaku began still wearing his I don't give a shit expression. "Is Sasuke's uniform ready yet?"

"Huh? Ah, yes!" The redhead happily pulled out a brand new gakuran from the wardrobe beside her. Ōnoki took it from her handing it to Fugaku. "That one should fit better than the one he is wearing."

"I don't see how it could fit any worse." Fugaku said handing the twelve-year-old the gakuran. Sasuke looked at the article of clothing in question with disdain. He noticed there were two uniforms in the clear bag; a warmer and a cooler uniform. Sasuke had to admit he enjoyed the extra room his clothing provided especially now when it completely concealed his half-mast erection. It wasn't as though Sasuke was the shortest first year in the school, he was a full six centimeters taller than Naruto and the blond wasn't even the shortest first year (although he certainly was in contention) but Jiraiya refused to give Naruto a bigger gakuran since he said the blond would eventually grow into it – or so he'd hope. Fugaku, however, didn't share that sentiment taking it upon himself to get Sasuke two custom made uniforms which cost a pretty yen no doubt but apparently an advance placement student should wear fitted and not loose clothing. "Change into that." Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed, "also..." Sasuke's lip quirked into a frown but he continued to look at the uniform. "Take Karin-chan back to class with you." The siblings stared at the nodding white-haired man. "If that is all Ōnoki-san I will take my leave." Fugaku stood suddenly and Mikoto got up too still staring at her husband questionably. He bowed at the principal then vice principal before leaving.

"Fugaku wait!" Mikoto sighed then turned to her first born. "Itachi, please make sure Karin-chan makes it home alright. I... I should be there..." Itachi didn't like the way the woman said the word should especially while she trailed off. As their father was rarely home with work or whatever there was no doubt in either sibling's mind that she was going to be with him until he had to leave again. Sex was a possibility although it wasn't implied but Itachi did not want another sibling – especially if it turned out to be anything like Sasuke not to mention the twelve-year-old did not want to give up his position as the baby; though he might enjoy being able to tell someone what to do without repercussions.

Seeing as how he didn't have much of a choice, Itachi nodded watching their mother leave. Ōnoki glanced at the siblings who sat in their seats with blank expressions. "Now that everything is taken care of you three can head back to class." The siblings exchanged glances before standing and getting the hell out of that place with the redhead following suit.

The siblings walked out of the office in silence until Itachi paused glancing at the girl behind them. "Karin-chan, right?" The bespectacled girl's head snapped up as she nodded enthusiastically. "I gotta make sure this idiot gets dressed correctly so we'll be back." Before Sasuke could voice his protest Itachi shoved him into the boys' bathroom.

"What's the deal nīsan? I can dress myself!"

"Evidently you can't, shithead, or we wouldn't be in this situation now get in there and strip." Grumbling under his breath, Sasuke stomped into one of the stalls then shut and locked it before gracelessly discarding his clothing throwing them over the stall and Itachi caught them easily. Whenever their mother shoved them into dressing rooms they used this same highly effective, often entertaining method to get clothes to and from one another faster. Itachi glanced at the bag in his hand. "Sasuke?" The twelve-year-old stuck his head out of the stall, "aren't you forgetting something?"

Eyes widening, Sasuke glanced at his clothes in Itachi's hands. He was only wearing a pair of boxerbriefs right now. "C-Can I have my uniform nīsan?"

Itachi poorly attempted to stifle his laughter. "I'd take a picture but I'm feeling generous right now." Itachi handed Sasuke the spring uniform holding it back as the twelve-year-old grimaced. "Take it or leave it otōto."

Sighing in defeat, Sasuke held his hand out and Itachi happily gave him the uniform. A few seconds later, the stall door opened and Sasuke stood in front of his brother with his new, fitted uniform scowling. "My my... you look so damn dapper." The twelve-year-old blushed looking at himself in the mirror. He might not have known what word 'dapper' meant but judging by his reflection he could take a guess. "Your hair is still unruly as ever though." Sasuke glared at him through the mirror. "By the way... aside from you needing to change I pulled you aside to say how proud of you I was."

Sasuke turned to his brother folding his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow, "excuse me?"

"Don't make me repeat myself." Sasuke gulped. "I was surprised that you didn't lash out at father while he was barking orders at you. Hell, the man didn't so much as glance in my direction and I wanted to snap. Especially with his condescending tone."

Sasuke sighed, "oh that. I'm just sick of his shit, he shows up after Kami knows how long then drops a girl – who is probably an illegitimate daughter – on us? Its not even worth getting upset over, as you say its impossible to decipher him so why bother?"

"Why otōto, that is probably the most sensible thing I have ever heard you say ...although I'm not entirely sure it counts since I was the one who originally said it." Itachi tapped his chin oblivious to Sasuke staring at him, or he was aware and simply ignored it. "Now then, since you're all suited up we should probably get back to class and I mean get back to class." Frowning, Itachi looked down. "And just what the hell are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" The twelve-year-old replied as he continued to readjust the front of his pants. "These pants are too tight so I'm fixing my junk."

The sixteen-year-old paused for a moment before shaking his head. "I swear I just do not understand how your shameless, deficient mind works sometimes."

"I'm not deficient! Or shameless!"

"Oh yes you are and you cannot possibly be so crass, right?" Sasuke stared at him. "You do realize just because you're in the bathroom doesn't necessarily give you privacy nor does it mean you won't warrant attention."

"Huh? Are you even still speaking Japanese?"

"Let me put this in stupid terms for you dipshit. We're young so we're going to want to ...experiment with certain things."

"Such as...?"

Itachi facepalmed then sighed, "you know what. Nevermind, I'm not going to waste my time and you don't get it anyway. Lets just get to class."

"Hold up nīsan, what do you mean I don't get it?"

"If you have to ask then its pointless for me to explain, isn't it?" Sasuke's eyebrows furrowed. "Listen, the longer you try and fail miserably to get information the less time you'll have in class."

"You say that like its a bad thing." Itachi shook his head and Sasuke sighed, "damn... you really are a stickler for the rules sometimes aren't you?"

"I believe that would be the pot calling the kettle black, hm?"

Sasuke sneered at him before brushing past the sixteen-year-old slamming the bathroom door open startling the redhead. "We're going." He said not bothering to stop walking.

Itachi walked out of the bathroom shaking his head then looked down at the uniforms in his hands. "What the— oi! What the hell am I supposed to do with your clothes?"

Sasuke smirked looking over his shoulder as he continued to walk. "Hold onto them for me, will you nīsan? Thanks~" Karin looked back at Itachi briefly before merrily following Sasuke and even gravitating slightly toward him. Itachi blinked scratching his head. That was new. He usually saw girls putter after his little brother but none of them ever achieved near levitating properties. Fuck, this girl was already smitten with the broody little bastard and he only said, what, two words to her? That poor, unfortunate brat; such was the fate of the Uchiha clan – blessed with good looks, cursed with overzealous and quite frankly unwanted popularity. Sasuke may not have any friends (excluding Naruto) but as Itachi told their mother he had plenty of fans around the school and Karin's existence might have just tacked one more onto that list. Itachi personally knew how painful, not to mention irritating, it was having classmates blindly hanging on his every word or following him around in pathetic attempts to get in his good graces ...or to get in his pants. The latter might not be true for... Itachi's eyes widened. Sasuke hit puberty yesterday so high school girls just might try to deflower him. Hell, Sasuke was adorable enough for some guys to want to deflower! Apparently, older kids had some kind of pubescent tracker so they'd somehow know Sasuke was ripe for the taking. Shit. Sasuke might be a broody little shit approximately ninety-nine percent of the time but he was still Itachi's precious baby brother which gave Itachi the unfortunate and potentially dangerous task of protecting said baby brother from horny groupies. If Itachi had to unbiasedly rate his own current performance he'd say he was doing a pretty decent job.

… …

When Sasuke returned to his classroom he wasn't at all surprised when his classmates swarmed Karin who brazenly wasted almost no time announcing she was a resident of the Uchiha household much to the chagrin/horror of the class; it was even more horrifying to them since Sasuke neither confirmed nor denied her statement. After the initial shock died down, the next two hours slid by at a snail's pace. By the time the lunch bell rang Sasuke was ready to spring into Naruto's classroom for lunch – although he had to admit he didn't really know where it was. As he got up he saw Karin walking toward him. Karin was seated in the front of the class and he was in the back. Anyway, he didn't need this right now.

"Sasuke-kun, do... do you want to eat lunch together?"

"Sorry new girl." An arm wrapped itself around the redhead's shoulder. "I know you live with Sasuke-kun and whatever but you might as well well know he always eats lunch with Uzumaki. Its been that way ever since first grade."

"T-Then I don't mind eating lunch with both of them." The girls glared at one another.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sasuke sighed turning to the pink-haired girl leaning on her desk, which was next to his. "Are you going to eat lunch with Uzumaki?" Sasuke nodded slowly. "I'm heading to that class to eat lunch with my friend. We... we can walk together if that's okay with you?"

Sasuke shrugged. He really wasn't in a position to refuse. "Shikamaru, we're going to Ino's class. You coming?" The black-haired boy in the desk on the other side of Sasuke's rose his head nodding. He yawned then stood.

Karin and the brunette watched the trio walk out of the classroom not missing the smirk the pink-haired girl gave them. "What the hell was that?!" Karin asked. "You saw the face she made!?"

"Yeah, Haruno's a real bitch." The brunette cracked her knuckles after she removed her hand from Karin's shoulder. "Oh right. I'm Kurotsuchi, the principal's my grandfather. Are you really living with Sasuke-kun?" Karin nodded.

"What's the deal with him leaving? Who is this Uzumaki kid Sasuke-kun always eats lunch with? Are they like dating or something and if so is she really pretty? I guess she must be pretty to be with Sasuke-kun. Also, do you think I still might have a shot if they broke up?"

The brunette burst out laughing wiping the forming tears from her eyes. "Oh you." She took a deep breath calming herself. "Don't start jumping to conclusions. Sasuke-kun isn't dating anyone, at least I don't think he is. And he and Uzumaki have been best friends forever so its not a girl. I guess he's considered 'adorable' but he's too much of a troublemaker for my tastes. Finally for your last question... hell no! There isn't a girl in this school that has a shot with a fox like Sasuke-kun. I mean, I'm the best looking girl in this class next to Hyūga-chan and even I don't stand a chance. Word around the rumor mill is he's into older partners."

"I see... so is that why no one has a chance?"

Kurotsuchi sighed. "More or less... you see Sasuke-kun is like artwork. Like the kind of pictures you see in an expensive museum? You enjoy looking at it and touching it is fun but its for display purposes only – owning it will damage the value and ruin the image for others!" Karin scratched her head. "You understand what I'm telling you?" As the redhead stared at her blankly, the brunette sighed again. "Sasuke-kun is too damn hot for us! Full stop!"

"A-Alright, I get it. I get it! Geez, what's with him leaving. If this guy is Sasuke-kun best friend wouldn't they be in the same class?"

"Opposites attract new girl. Haruno's best friend is the complete opposite of her – well not complete opposite but opposite enough. Besides, what good would it do cramming all the geniuses in one class? But they did stick Nara in here." Kurotsuchi shrugged. "Oh well. Hey Hyūga, lets eat together~" Karin frowned as Kurotsuchi returned to her seat next to a navy-haired girl.

Meanwhile, Sasuke found himself walking up two flights of stairs. Damn, Naruto had to come up and down these stairs everyday? Shit, no wonder he had such toned legs! He glanced at the beaming pink-haired girl beside him and the yawning black-haired boy on her other side. "What do I owe you?"

"Oh don't worry about that." She said with a laugh. "You were being examined like a prime cut of beef straight from the market. I couldn't stand leaving you there so I decided to step in."

"If I saved you I definitely would ask for something in return." She elbowed the other boy. "Don't act all coy now Haruno, mendokusē... Ino's gonna have a field day."

"Quiet!" She turned to Sasuke laughing awkwardly. The trio walked the rest of the way in silence and the pink-haired girl opened the door to Naruto's classroom, class 1-7, and Sasuke's jaw dropped. The 'regular' classrooms were nothing like the advance placement classrooms. Maybe Sasuke subconsciously already knew this which was the main reason for him never coming by before? Even at lunch the students in the advance placement classrooms were neat and organized eating at their desks or their friend's desks but this... the only way to describe it would be chaos! Students were sprawled out all over the damn place! They were on sitting on the desks, leaning against the windowsill, there were even a few kids on the floor! "Come get us when you're ready to go back, okay?"

Sasuke nodded and they both strolled over to a desk where a blonde was sitting. She turned to both of them giving them a big hug, seated in the desk was a brunet eating a bag of chips. They might have been in his class but they came here so naturally. Sasuke didn't know if they did this before but now that he thought of it sometimes they weren't in the classroom during lunch.

The school year might have just started but the black-haired boy transferred into their class about a week or so ago. While Sasuke didn't know what class he transferred from he knew he was put in class 1-2 because his genius achieved megalomaniac properties but because of his lethargic, lackadaisical attitude and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder his grades were less than stellar. His ingeniousness might explain why he was always falling asleep in class yet getting every answer on a quiz correctly and his laziness explained why he rarely bothered to pick up a pencil and write. An attention deficit genius was clearly not a good thing as an idle mind was the devil's workshop. If he was really so smart perhaps they should have allowed him to skip a grade level (or a few) but the word around the rumor mill was he was offered to skip three grades and be a high school first year but he declined. The only reason why Sasuke knew about this, aside from the information being known throughout the school, was because the principal told them (once again) as the black-haired boy was being escorted to the classroom.

Sasuke began walking to Naruto's desk when he realized the blond wasn't even in the classroom not to mention he had no idea which desk belonged to Naruto although taking a look he might be able to guess. Before he had the chance to investigate he was tapped on the shoulder. "Yo!"

"Hey..." Sasuke eyed the large paper bag in Naruto's hands, "someone's hungry."

"They're not all for me. Hold on a sec, would you?" Sasuke nodded slowly watching the grinning blond walk over to the sensei's desk. "Oi! I got the bread!" The entire classroom erupted into a chorus of cheers. "Lets see... there's melonpan, anpan and curry bread. I also have some rice bread."

"Don't forget the taiyaki man." Sasuke watched in awe as an absurdly tall white-haired boy walked into the room dropping another large paper bag next to Naruto's.

Sasuke watched in unadulterated interest as students piled over to the sensei's desk. Naruto and the white-haired boy gave out the bread in the bags receiving money in exchange. Was Naruto hustling lunch food? Once they were finished and the entire class was busy stuffing their faces with various breads Naruto beckoned Sasuke over. "Here, I left curry bread for you dattebayo." Sasuke glanced down at the bread in his best friend's hand before looking up at the hand's owner. "Or did you want something else?"

"Is this free?"

"Of course its free. I wouldn't charge you for food... your tab would be really high since we've been sharing food forever."

"Alright, what about them? Are you selling food to them?"

"Well..." Sasuke rose an eyebrow suspiciously. "I guess you could say that. I'm not really selling so much as I'm giving what they paid for. You see because I'm so short I can squeeze through the crowds at the bread carts easily. I buy as much as I can with the money dad gives me – assuming he gives me any – and I get paid in exchange for the bread."

"Does this happen everyday?"

"No, its sort of a weekly thing."

"Hey, who's the pretty boy Naru?"

"Pretty b—oh! You mean him?" Naruto jerked his thumb toward Sasuke. "Uh, this guy's Sasuke. He's my best friend since way back. Sasuke, this is Suigetsu." Sasuke bowed as did the white-haired boy.

Naruto gasped as an arm wrapped itself around his shoulder taking the bread out of his hand. "Thanks as always Naruto-kun." The blond blushed slightly when the long-haired newcomer kissed him on the cheek. Judging by the spring uniform and voice this was by far the prettiest boy Sasuke ever laid eyes on ...unless it was a crossdresser making it the prettiest girl Sasuke ever saw. "Who is your friend?"

"Its Sasuke." Suigetsu said while stuffing his face.

"What? Oh, hi! I'm Yuki Haku." The long-haired boy said bowing. "Please treat me kindly." Sasuke bowed back. "I'll pay you back for my bread tomorrow okay? Today's pay day so you'll get it at lunch tomorrow. Unless you want to come to work with me?"

"Aren't you a third year? How are you allowed to have a job?"

Suigetsu gulped as Haku glared at him. "As long as I keep my grades up I'm permitted to work. Now I gotta get back to class. I'm digging the new specs Naruto-kun, very classy." Haku turned to Sasuke. "Nice meeting you Uchiha-kōhai~" He winked at the blue-haired boy before walking out of the classroom.

"Oh crap, Haku-senpai ate your food." Naruto rummaged through the bag taking out another curry bread. "Here, you might want to take this before someone else does dattebayo." Frowning, Naruto looked over his best friend. "Uh, weren't you wearing something different earlier?"

"My dad stopped by to give me this."

"But you told me you didn't like the spring uniform."

Sasuke sighed taking the offered food. "I don't. Thanks." The blue-haired boy took a bite out of his bread silently humming in appreciation. "Tell me something..." Naruto stared at Sasuke who swallowed the bread in his mouth. "Do you get visits like this often?"

"Yeah. This is the 'bad' class. The legendary 1-7 which is comprised of the worst students of all the first years." Sasuke nodded. Yeah, he heard something like that from the principal a while ago. "Almost everyone who comes by used to be here. Then there are others who have friends here. You know how it is dattebayo."

"So, Sasuke-kun, you in class 1-3 or 1-1?"

"1-2." Both Suigetsu and Naruto whistled; although Sasuke wasn't sure why the blond did – one would think he would have thought he would know the number of his best friend's class considering he walked past the classroom every damn day. But who was Sasuke to talk because he didn't know what class Naruto was in. His class, although not numbered one, was the highest of the advance placement classes... or at least that was what the students were told but truthfully Sasuke couldn't care less. As long as his parents (particularly his father) thought he was in the smartest class he didn't mind if that was true or not. Actually none of the 1 classes were set to have the 'smartest' students for some reason or another. Out of the eight first year junior high classrooms three were considered 'advance' and four were mediocre while this one, for the delinquents, was labeled borderline remedial.

"Hello Naruto-kun, what's this? I see my little brother is here too." The class silently watched in a mixture of awe and some other incomprehensible emotion as the sixteen-year-old fully came into the room. Sasuke shook his head as Itachi seemingly glided inside the room like he did in his nightmare yesterday morning. Sasuke shook his head again. He did not want to go down that route again – it took every ounce of existing willpower for him not to get hard especially with his pants not being as comfortable as his old pair. "I heard about your latest dash to the bread cart." The sixteen-year-old eyed Sasuke's half eaten bread and took a bite out of it. Sasuke's eyes widened. His hormone frazzled mind did not need this kind of stimulation! The way Itachi was licking his lips was not helping matters.

Naruto glanced at Sasuke seeing his best friend began to foam at the mouth watching his brother eat. As his best friend, Naruto did the only thing he could do: shove another bread in Sasuke's opened mouth. "I really wasn't that amazing or anything dattebayo." He elbowed Sasuke who shook out of his stupor. "So, what's up Itachi-nī?"

"Not much, just coming to check on you." Sasuke's eyes narrowed. Itachi came to check on Naruto during the day? He was lucky to see Itachi during the school day and he was just checking up on his little brother's best friend like it was no big deal? What the hell was up with that?! Of course, Sasuke did see Itachi today with the whole awkwardness in the principal's office. "I was told you swiped all of the taiyaki so I was hoping that I could have one?"

Blushing slightly, Suigetsu took one out of the bag. "H-Here Itachi-senpai, free of charge."

Itachi smirked taking the fish shaped cake from the white-haired boy's hands deliberately letting their fingers touch briefly in the process. "Why thank you Hōzuki-kun." The white-haired boy's blush seemed to deepen as he nodded shakily going back to his own bread.

The entire school went on lunch at the same time which enabled the high school students to interact with the junior high or like in Sasuke's case hang out with your best friend that wasn't in your class. Itachi deposited himself on the desk next to the now fidgeting and still blushing Suigetsu. The sixteen-year-old must have done this often if he was so used to it. Sasuke had to admit that he felt sorry for Suigetsu who was having trouble eating with Itachi in such a close proximity to him. Hell, even Sasuke had trouble composing himself around Itachi sometimes... especially now that he was pubescent and prone to fantasizing.

"I should probably get back to class before traffic gets backed up." Itachi slid off the desk. "Shall I walk you back?"

Before Sasuke could reply Naruto wrapped an arm around his shoulder, "I got it ttebayo." The two boys exchanged glances quickly before looking back at Itachi with Sasuke nodding in agreement.

"Right, in that case you two better hurry." He glanced at the two twelve-year-olds narrowing his eyes slightly. "See you."

Naruto waved as did Suigetsu while Sasuke sighed in relief. "Thanks... so, does nīsan visit often?"

"Yeah but don't worry its not like he tells embarrassing stories or shows us pictures of you or anything."

Sasuke gaped at him. "Did he use to?"

"Uh... the stories weren't that embarrassing." Sasuke facepalmed, "and if its any consolation he didn't stay for very long."

"Any consolation? My brother is seeking my best friend, how is that supposed to make me feel!?"

"Not good when you put it that way dattebayo..." Naruto frowned slightly.

"Psst!" Naruto slowly turned to the doorway where Sai's head and one of his hands were beckoning him over. Hesitantly, the blond complied walking over to him. "Hi. Oh, Sasuke-kun is here."

"Yup. Did you want something dattebayo?"

Sai glanced down at the half-eaten bread in the blond's hands. "Just a bite." He said lifting Naruto's hands to about lip level then taking about out of the aforementioned bread. "Now I feel better. See you at gym Naruto-kun."

Naruto headed back to the sensei's desk staring at the bread in his hands furrowing his eyebrows at the large crescent shaped emptiness where his bread used to be. "H-He bit my bread!"

"I saw him. He's your friend." Naruto glared at him. "What? He is."

"Okay, okay. Hm?" A white-haired man walked into the classroom with a clipboard in his hands. "Sasuke-kun, you are in the wrong classroom."

"We're eating lunch together." Naruto replied.

"That's great, get away from my desk so I can sit down." The three twelve-year-olds reluctantly complied as the white-haired man sat in his seat.

"We ran out of curry bread but I have some taiyaki and melonpan left dattebayo." Naruto said picking up one bag while Sasuke hesitantly picked up the other.

"I'll take one of each thank you." The white-haired man said taking a bread out of each bag. "As always, its a pleasure doing business with you Uzumaki-kun."

"I'm pretty sure its illegal for you to be doing business with a student." Sasuke said narrowing his eyes.

"Its not illegal. Its perfectly legit. Now don't you have to get back to class?"

"Not yet."

"Hey how come you're so early Kakashi-sensei? Were you promised some kind of prize or something?" The white-haired man glanced at Suigetsu now resting his chin on the desk.

"Why Hōzuki-kun, I'm insulted, I am nothing if not punctual." Violet eyes narrowed and a white eyebrow was raised. "Alright fine. I was promised something if I got back before lunch ended. Speaking of which have you spoken to your brother today Sasuke-kun?"

"Aside from the fact that I live with him, he was just here but he went back to class."

"I think you should do the same."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll get out of your hair Kakashi."

"That's Kakashi-sensei." The white-haired man sighed, "hey! You two aren't in this class either!" Sasuke's classmates got off the desks they were sitting on then trudged out of the classroom mumbling. "Alright everyone, hurry up and finish lunch so we can begin with our lesson." As if on cue the bell rang.

The homeroom sensei for class 1-7 was definitely a fitting one. Hatake Kakashi was a carefree sensei and the only one that could deal with the 'delinquents' of 1-7 without losing his mind. Granted, the white-haired man was a delinquent in his own right and rarely showed up in his class before the students. He never marked any student late because he wasn't hypocritical. Despite his unusual methods, Kakashi was one of – if not – the best senseis around and was well respected throughout the entire school by co-workers and students alike.

As he was getting his stuff situated he glanced at the blond taking his seat in the second row. As a branded 'troublemaker' Naruto was forbidden from sitting in the back of the classroom. It was a direct order from the principal so no one was crazy enough to break it. Well, Kakashi might have been crazy enough to defy the principal's very specific request but he didn't want to give anyone a reason to get Naruto into trouble when he didn't do anything wrong. Despite what every other sensei said he didn't think Naruto was all that much trouble; if he was any trouble at all. Sure, the boy was a definite risk taker and was considerably reckless but... what was his point again?

As he was Itachi's godfather Kakashi spent a lot of time with Naruto who was usually in the company of Sasuke. He didn't want to be accused of nepotism so he regarded Naruto like the other students but he came to enjoy their company as well... even if they were annoying sometimes like all children.

"I need to leave briefly so study something until I return." And with that Kakashi left the classroom. As it was such a common occurrence, the students complied taking out various reading materials scanning them, actually reading, or even pretending to read.

"Naruto..." The blond turned to the left where Suigetsu was hanging partially off his desk. "I gotta ask man, how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"How are you able to talk to Itachi-senpai like its nothing? The entire class was as quiet as a ghost town and even his brother was spellbound. You know some senseis stutter in his presence right! You gotta be some kind of mutant or something! What is your secret?! You gotta share it with me!"

"Would you relax dattebayo? I've known Itachi-nī since I was four years old. He's like a big brother to me. And as for Sasuke being spellbound I'm sure he was just surprised seeing him here."

"Yeah right. You're a freak of nature and that's all there is to it."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the building where the high school students reigned supreme. Kakashi made his way over to class 5-8; it sounded like a video game level but it was a classroom for second year advance placement high school students, like Uchiha Itachi – Kakashi's godson. Ironically, class 5-8 was perhaps the only advance placement class in the entire school that had several delinquents in it – which also included Itachi. Kakashi didn't care what anyone said, Itachi was a delinquent – he had piercings, wore jewelry and picked fights with people for no apparent reason. Not physical fights but he provoked the hell out of people on a daily basis especially his little brother. Everyone was just struck dumb by the boy's genius and good looks to see anything else. But Kakashi knew the Uchiha Itachi beneath the surface. He understood why Sasuke complained about his older brother but like most little brothers no one seemed to believe him.

The Uchiha and Hatake clans were old family friends from several generations back so Kakashi was surprised to be the godfather of a child only ten years younger than he was but who was he to complain? Someone clearly had an idea that seemed reasonable at the time although no one told Kakashi was said idea was. As fate would have it, despite what Kakashi originally thought, he turned out to be an excellent stand-in father/older brother for his godson and by extension his godson's baby brother and by further extension an excellent older brother figure to his godson's baby brother's best friend. He taught the kids everything they needed to know in their father's absence. Things that only a father (or in this case a stand-in father) could teach his son or sons. The best part about it was Kakashi actually liked helping out... it was as enjoyable as coming to school everyday which was something the white-haired man never thought he would say considering his miserable life as a high school student. He knocked on the door before sticking his head inside. The students all slowly turned to the white-haired man in the doorway far too used to it to be surprised or even comment on it. "I need Itachi-kun, Asuma-sensei~" The black-haired man nodded tilting his head in Kakashi's direction. Much like the Uchiha clan, the Sarutobi clan were family friends of the Hatake's so the two senseis grew up together.

Itachi slowly stood then walked over to the white-haired man who closed the shōji door behind the sixteen-year-old. "Hello Kakashi-san." Itachi greeted, "no wait... its Kakashi-sensei, right?"

"Hello Itachi-kun..." Even through his surgical mask Itachi just knew the white-haired man was beaming. "I made it on time, I was actually a bit early to be exact, you can ask Naruto if you don't believe me. In fact you could even ask Sasuke because he was there. As an added measure I even recorded getting back to the classroom before the bell."

"Sasuke was in Naruto-kun's class?"

"He said you were there, how could you not know?"

"No. I know he was there I just thought he left before the bell rang."

"He did." Kakashi nodded. "Anyway, lets talk about my surprise?"

"Wha—? You couldn't wait until school was over? You actually left your class just to get a surprise?" Sighing, Itachi took out a tiny square box from the top of his sock then placed it in Kakashi's hand. "I heard Kurenai-sensei talk about it."

"So what is it?"

"That's kind of the whole point of a surprise, you're supposed to find out." After narrowing his eyes, Kakashi opened the box raising an eyebrow. Inside the tiny box was a very, very small book. If it was a real book it would be impossible to read under normal circumstances. Kakashi might have excellent vision, despite the vertical scar going through his left eye, but even he would find reading such small print difficult. The white-haired man took the book out examining it. "Its a charm." The sixteen-year-old sighed; sometimes dealing with Kakashi was worse than dealing with Sasuke. "Don't give me that look, its only part of your surprise." Itachi beckoned the curious man over then whispered one word in his ear. "Walnuts."

Startled, Kakashi turned to the teen. "What?"

"No no, I can't say anymore I need to head back to class as I'm sure you do as well. We'll talk more at home." Kakashi stared dumbfounded at the empty space in front of him.

The white-haired man was floored, he stared at the sixteen-year-old walk back into his classroom sliding the shōji door closed behind him. A sixteen-year-old got the best of him? Again!? Granted, Itachi was no ordinary sixteen-year-old and Kakashi probably was to blame.

Itachi was a genius and rather than nurture his intellect like any 'parent' was supposed to do, Kakashi chose to dismiss it. Kakashi himself was revered to as a genius as well so seeing another one wasn't of any interest to him. Mikoto didn't dote on Itachi like she did with Sasuke so for years her first born son was left to his own devices. Even before Sasuke was born Mikoto didn't really deal with Itachi because he was so independent at such a young age not needing his mother for most things basically potty training himself and teaching himself to walk and talk with no parental influence. He was an autodidact much like Kakashi was.

So when Sasuke was born and although he was smart and a fast learner too, he still struggled with certain things which Mikoto loved. She not only doted on Sasuke 24/7 but she spoiled him making him unable to even exist without her help until he was four and Itachi stepped in making Sasuke more independent like he was. Especially since he would be starting school. Incidentally, Sasuke's bout with independence came right around the time he met Naruto which made him want to be even more independent because other four year old kids were doing things he couldn't. Which, in turn, made him shy away from his mother proving he was a big boy like all the other kids who no longer metaphorically needed to hold their mother's hand.

As they grew up they relied on their mother like any pair of sons maybe a bit more considering they were both mama's boys but Kakashi could see Mikoto was keeping up a happy facade. If he didn't view the blue-haired woman as an older sister Kakashi would be more than happy to physically console Mikoto if necessary. Besides, older sister figure or not Uchiha Fugaku would undoubtedly beat the hell out of him if he touched his wife. It made Kakashi wonder if a man with such an unstoppable jealous rage could flip out with no provocation why the hell did he willingly leave his very attractive wife for months at a time?

Sighing, Kakashi saw no other option than to return to his classroom. He slowly made his way back to the class staring at the so called delinquents – the students were all seated at their desks, a few of them slept while the rest read or chatted quietly with the person next to them. He didn't know why everyone complained about them so much. They weren't nearly as bad as everyone pegged them to be – unless they were just well behaved around him. Sure, they had the occasional smartass response which Kakashi eagerly had a retort to but other than that they were the best class he taught. Teaching his homeroom class was more fun than he expected. It was the advanced placement classes he had trouble with. The kids there swore they were the cream of the crop since they were considered 'smarter' then the others but that wasn't the case; most of the 'ordinary' kids did work at advance class levels didn't want to be apart of that spectrum. Kakashi believed Sasuke was apart of that group but he was forced into being in an advance placement class by his parents, particularly his father... oh and, of course, the principal.

"Alright!" Kakashi clapped his hands together startling the class and awaking a few of them. "I'm back so lets do something sciency, shall we?"

"Kakashi-sensei, I don't think sciency is a word." Suigetsu said raising his hand. "I got a dictionary app on my phone if you're not sure."

"You can check your phone..." Kakashi approached the white-haired boy's desk holding out his hand, "after class." Sighing, Suigetsu reluctantly put his phone in the white-haired man's hand as he headed to the front of the class. "We have approximately twenty-three minutes of class time left. Does anyone have a suggestion on what we should do?"

"How about nothing?" A brunet in the back of the class asked raising his hand.

"No. Next suggestion?"

"We can do self-study?" Naruto suggested.

"Hm... no." The blond's jaw dropped. "I don't want to have Ōnoki-san on my ass asking me why I'm not teaching you kids anything." The white-haired man tapped his chin that was covered with his surgical mask. Kakashi had terrible allergies so he was usually wearing a mask to protect himself from the elements, especially now that it was spring, plus it created a shroud of mystery because he wore a different mask almost everyday and most students didn't know what he looked like under it. Most teachers didn't know either.

"Kakashi-sensei?" The white-haired man's head snapped toward his students staring at him. Almost everyone subtly pointed or jerked their heads to the door which opened as if on cue.

Kakashi watched as Ōnoki walked into the classroom; due to the man's height some of the students had to lean forward to see him. It was sort of funny that the principal was shorter than about ninety-nine percent of his students. "Just doing routine checks." He said looking around the classroom. "I hope they aren't giving you too much trouble Kakashi."

"Not at all Ōnoki-san, they're little angels." Ōnoki rose an eyebrow as the students all beamed at him.

"Is that so...? Well what have you been teaching them today?" Shit. Kakashi was a quick thinker but it would difficult getting out of this situation. Naturally, no one other than the students knew he left frequently. Couple that with Ōnoki being not exactly fond of him when he was in high school made for one boring ass lecture.

"I've—"

A blonde in the back of the class rose her hand. "Ōnoki-san, we were reviewing botany." She said with a smile that Kakashi knew meant he owed her for saving his ass.

Ōnoki rose an eyebrow. "Botany?"

"Botany is the science of plant life." If anyone knew anything about flowers and plants it was the blonde. Even though he was still unconvinced he nodded.

"They'll be well-rounded in many aspects of science, hm?"

Kakashi nodded. "Its never a bad thing to have knowledge of all the aspects of science."

"You're right Kakashi." He glanced at the students skeptically before walking out of the classroom. Once he was gone everyone sighed in relief and relaxed in their seats.

"Well, that took most of the rest of the class so get ready for your next one." Kakashi glanced at the grinning blonde. "Thank you Yamanaka-chan, its always a pleasure."

"No thanks necessary Kakashi-sensei."

"Uh, Kakashi-sensei, can I get my phone back now?"

"Why of course Hōzuki-kun." Kakashi approached the twelve-year-old with the phone in his hand.

Suigetsu gulped. "I-I'm not gonna have to do anything right?" Kakashi shook his head then Suigetsu cautiously took the phone from his hands.

… …

Sasuke panted against the closed front door attempting to get some much needed air into his lungs. He shouldn't have run into the house but he was worried someone would see him getting in so late and relay the message to his mother or worse Itachi. After getting yet another thorough ass kicking in physical education the school day ended and Itachi had taken the girl with him on the bus ride home to do who knows what which meant Sasuke was free to spend his night bullshitting with his best friend~

Sasuke finally removed himself from the genkan after a few minutes and put his slippers on as he headed upstairs. Sasuke rode the bus home with Itachi but he told his brother he was going to hang out with Naruto. Though the sixteen-year-old didn't say he was upset his tone implied otherwise because as Itachi was getting off the bus with the redhead he seemed torn between strangling Sasuke and taking him off the bus by force and when he did neither it made Sasuke more than just a little worried. Fortunately, two and a half hours of playing video games, guzzling gallons of root beer and skimming through pornographic magazines made him forget... until just now.

The twelve-year-old dragged his already tired body up the stairs gently tossing his bag on his bed before trudging to the bathroom undressing. Even though it made little sense to close the door when no one was home it made even less sense to leave it open when you didn't know when you'd no longer be alone in the house. Still, he was already in the room so he'd just close the bathroom door in case someone came home while he was showering; which happened more often than not. Another thing that made little sense was to put on clothes now just to take them off to shower so he stripped down to his boxers, folded his clothing then placed it in a corner before running his water.

The twelve-year-old stared at the tub until the water reached its appropriate height then he turned it off. He experimentally dipped a toe into the water and nodded at the temperature. Sasuke discarded his final article of clothing then sank about shoulder length into water sighing in appreciation.

There was nothing better than taking a nice hot bath in Sasuke's opinion; especially if said bath was a bubble bath. Yes sir, one could never go wrong with having bubbles accompanying you while relaxing in the tub. Sasuke let out another sigh of content and glanced at his cellphone on the floor next to his boxers. Shrugging, he slowly got out of the tub and in all his nakedness walked to the bedroom and grabbed his headphones from the laptop on the floor next to his bed then he returned to the bathroom and plugged his headphones into the cellphone and went back in the tub listening to music.

Friday nights just did not get better than this. After his bath he'd enjoy some dinner and television. As a twelve-year-old Sasuke figured he should eat something unhealthy that tasted amazing, that way he could shoulder more blame on Itachi for not being here – a literal terminology of having one's cake and eating it too~

Leaning his head back against the tiled wall, Sasuke sank further into the tub putting his left arm in the tub allowed it to venture down experimentally squeezing his cock. If this was going to be a biweekly habit he might as well do it concealed in warm, bubbly water. Come to think of it, biweekly might not be enough if he did it already this morning and felt the need to do it again. He didn't need a schedule or whatever he'd just play it by ear.

During the two and a half hours of bullshitting, he and Naruto headed to a bookstore which sold lots of books pertaining to sex. Normally, books of that nature weren't sold to anyone under twenty but it seemed as though Naruto got a free pass being Jiraiya's adopted son. Apparently having a famous adult novelist for a father had some rather interesting perks. The bookstore cashier made the assumption that Jiraiya was asking Naruto to pick up materials for research which the white-haired man did often and contrary to popular belief Naruto was not dumb enough to correct the man. Though the books they bought were for Sasuke's use and benefit they were currently held in the blond's possession since Sasuke couldn't afford to have them in his home without getting assaulted by questions he truly could not answer. Yes, Sasuke had hoards of porn in his bookshelf but these particular books were not something he wanted Itachi accidentally stumbling upon.

The twelve-year-old bit his lip to keep the noises spilling from his lips at bay but even that was difficult and his mouth was starting to hurt. He felt the precome seeping out of his tip so he breathed a sigh of relief. Gray eyes slowly opened and widened seeing Itachi looming overhead. Please don't tell him he was dreaming again. "Nīsan?" He pulled the headphones off his ears with his right hand. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"My my, look at you..." Itachi smirked and Sasuke gulped audibly. His eyes were closed for quite some time so he had no idea how long his brother was there. "You got the atmosphere down don't you? Music, lighting and bubbles? All you're missing is some scented candles." Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Come now Sasuke, no pun intended, don't give your nīsan such a frightening look. I just wanted to tell you I want to stop by Obito's for some sweets. I'd hate to interrupt your bath time but we gotta go now so we can come back and make dinner." Sasuke slunk further into the bathtub as Itachi leaned forward. "Its hard to explain but I'm in the mood for cake with a lot of vanilla frosting. Thick, creamy, sticky frosting."

Sasuke stared at him. There was little else he could do in this situation. He tried keeping a neutral expression when Itachi started talking about thick, creamy and sticky things that had his cock twitching in his hand. Yes, his hand was still massaging his cock and didn't seem to want to stop. It was incredibly fortunate that Itachi's brotherly x-ray vision couldn't penetrate the barrier the bubbles formed. It was also fortunate that the bubbles didn't dissipate. "Why can't you go by yourself?" Sasuke was silently thankful his voice came out even.

"Its simple really..." Sasuke stared at the sixteen-year-old who tapped his chin before sitting on the edge of the bathtub. "I don't want to." Sasuke's jaw dropped. "Oh... and though I may not be able to see what you're doing I know what you're doing." Oh fuck, now Itachi could read minds? The sixteen-year-old sighed. "I'm not reading your mind..." Sasuke gaped at him. He wasn't reading his mind?! Like hell he wasn't! "Listen. I was a stupid, hormonal individual too so I know what you are going through more or less and I never thought of masturbating in our shared bathroom with bubbles—"

"Why are you just getting home?"

"Silly otōto changing the subject like that." Itachi shook his head, "tsk tsk. Not that it is any of your business but we got home hours ago, like you saw when we got off the bus. While you indulged yourself with some friend time I granted myself the same liberty. But, unlike you, I didn't feel the need to do it a few towns over. We stepped out briefly before you got home. It was a coincidence really. But now I'm curious as to why you were just coming home so late?"

"I was just with Naruto."

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Do you have to sit there?"

"Changing the subject again? You're not very good at conversing, are you?" Sasuke glared at him. "Tell you what." Itachi stood stretching. "You have fifteen minutes to ...finish or I'm dragging your naked, bubbly ass down the street." With his deceptively innocent smile, he turned to his little brother. "Do we have an understanding, otōto?"

"Yeah yeah."

"Good. Now remember the fifteen minutes is when we leave not when you get out of the tub. And make sure you clean the tub when you're done."

"You want me to finish taking a shower and clean it not to mention get dressed in just fifteen minutes?"

"Yup. So you'd better hurry." Sasuke glowered at his brother's retreating back until Itachi closed the door behind him. That Jedi mindreading fuck just enjoyed making him miserable. Sighing, he looked down realizing he was still hard – or rather he got hard from getting scolded by his brother. Great, he was a pervert and not just a regular pervert either. What kind of fucking sicko got off on being yelled at? The twelve-year-old furrowed his eyebrows. If he had less than fifteen minutes to finish he might as well get started... or continue. He brought his right hand down with his left massaging every nook and cranky of his cock and balls trying to find some sort of stimulation – twisting, pulling, stroking, squeezing, doing everything imaginable until semen shot out. Gray eyes snapped up to the wall clock hanging above the bathroom door. Fuck, twelve minutes passed and he wasn't even done yet!

Opening the drain, Sasuke stood turning on the tap allowing the water to fall on him. After bathing, he took a shower to rinse off the excess bath water. Itachi often told him it made no sense and bathing in general was a waste of water as opposed to showering especially if you showered afterwards anyway but Sasuke liked doing it so he was going to continue whether Itachi wanted him to or not. Despite what he often said, the sixteen-year-old was not the boss of him. Shit! It didn't matter how fast he was going there was absolutely no time for him to clean the tub. Fuck it, he'd just do that when he got back. It would be foolish of him to see if Itachi was bluffing or not. Sasuke made sure not to over stimulate his already hypersensitive penis as he speed washed the hell out of his body then turned the tap off running out of the bathroom not even bothering to get a towel on. He got one pant leg in when Itachi swung the door open exactly fifteen minutes after he left. The sixteen-year-old chuckled looking his disheveled brother over. "Well I suppose I'll wait for you to get dressed this time."

After Sasuke got dressed, the trio headed to the bakery. Uchiha Obito greeted his baby cousins with a bear hug as soon as they walked through the door; he regarded the redhead briefly before releasing them. "Oh! I'm sorry. My name's Obito." He bowed.

"K-Karin." The redhead replied bowing back. Unlike the rest of the Uchiha clan, at least the ones she met in the past two days, this one had to be the friendliest. The patriarch, Fugaku, had her staying with some of his relatives yesterday before her transfer and none of them seemed too pleased to have a stranger, a foreigner in their home. She wasn't even a foreigner! Technically, she was Japanese, just not born here. It wasn't that big of a deal, was it!?

"Well, welcome to my business Karin-chan." The redhead couldn't help but smile back at the smile she was getting. "Ah! I made you guys donuts." Obito produced a box from out of nowhere.

Sasuke eyed the box suspiciously, "another failed batch?"

Chuckling nervously, he put the box in Sasuke's hands. "Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't say failed..." He cleared his throat. "I made onigiri too~" Obito held up a plastic bag and Sasuke's eyes lit up. Onigiri was to Sasuke what ramen was to Naruto. The two of them visited a store that solely made onigiri and Naruto had to drag him out of there before he spent all of his money there. "Isn't it great having a pâtissier in the family? See what I did there? It sounds so much fancier than just saying pastry chef doesn't it?" He nodded to himself. "By the way, Mikoto-nē told me to watch you guys but that's kind of impossible with the evening rush coming in but I'll call you guys and whatever. You two are old enough not to burn the house down when you're by yourselves."

"Uh, Obito-san." Karin blushed slightly when he glanced at her. "Is it alright for you to be giving them food if its so busy?"

"If I don't feed them no one would. Besides..." He jerked his thumb toward Sasuke beaming and practically salivating at the plastic bag in his hand. "Sasuke-kun is much more approachable after he's fed especially with onigiri."

"You might want to make sure he doesn't eat any before dinner. I'd hate for him to spoil his appetite." Itachi said to the redhead who blushed further. Nodding, she walked over to Sasuke who gave her the box of donuts then cradled the bag with onigiri.

"I forgot to mention I made dango too and takoyaki." Itachi rose an eyebrow at him. "What? Don't worry about the onigiri although I'm not sure its a good idea to have so many different aphrodisiacs in them. I saffroned the hell out of them. If Sasuke eats even one he'll be a sweltering, libidinous mess and I'm sure you don't want that around Karin-chan."

"Libidinous hm? I see you've been hanging around Kakashi again." Obito chuckled. "Anyway don't worry about the girl, although its an unexpected setback its nothing I can't handle."

"What if she eats the onigiri?" Itachi paused. "I mean... if Sasuke lets her taste one or even a piece? What then?"

"That... I hadn't thought of." Obito facepalmed. "Sasuke rarely lets me eat any onigiri, and he usually shares all of his food with me, but like I said don't worry. I'm merely giving my baby brother the Uchiha male's rite of passage so what's that without a couple of stumbling blocks? Its no different from what you and Shisui did to me when I was going through puberty."

"I can't believe Sasuke hit puberty. It seems like only last week he and Naruto-kun were snuggling in bed together during a thunderstorm."

"That was last week."

"Was it?" Obito shook his head. "A-Anyway, as for your 'rite of passage' we locked you in a freezer, swam off with your shorts in the lake and had that paintball war that had just cleaning the house for three straight weeks but we never tried to get you lusted up and ready for a good time!" Obito sighed as Itachi blinked innocently at him. "You do realize that once he is off his lust high he's going to devote countless hours to payback, right?"

"Sasuke, get me back? He's one thousand years too early to initiate any sort of revenge against me. If you were keeping score you'd know in the twelve years of his life he's never gotten the best of me... at least without me getting him back."

"Alone yes, Sasuke is powerless against your fiendish charm, but with Naruto-kun I'll give you a resounding hell no. He's gotten you before Itachi and he can get you again. His unpredictability is a wild card – he puts my legendary pranking to shame and they're best friends so you know he'll jump at the chance to help."

"There is a method to my madness Obito-kun; I'm well prepared for Sasuke's collaboration with Naruto-kun. While Naruto-kun himself is unpredictable the fact that Sasuke will come to him for help isn't. I'll stop him before it can happen by getting Naruto-kun on my side." Itachi took out his cellphone. "As unpredictable as he is the one thing I know for certain is Naruto-kun can't resist a good prank no matter who the victim."

Obito sighed, "You sure? I'm willing to bet that Naruto won't help you get Sasuke back because as much as he enjoys a good prank he enjoys Sasuke's company a hell of a lot more."

"True. But I have to go with my gut on this one."

Obito sighed again, "I obviously can't convince you to reconsider but I'd appreciate if you did me one favor. When this whole thing backfires please don't include me or Shisui into the carnage?" Itachi nodded leaving the bakery; he saw Karin and Sasuke impatiently waiting for him.

The sixteen-year-old held the phone against his ear and after several unanswered rings he pressed the end button. Figures when he called Naruto the blond didn't pick up. What the hell was he doing anyway? He didn't have much time to ponder as he stepped inside their home taking off his shoes while Sasuke and Karin did the same. "Is it okay if I take a shower before dinner?" Itachi nodded at the redhead and she headed upstairs to her room. As they were home earlier, Itachi had the opportunity to give the twelve-year-old a tour of their house. Karin's bedroom, formerly known as the 'guest' room, was across the hall from their bedroom. With Karin upstairs the siblings were in the kitchen preparing dinner ...or at least they would have been if Sasuke hadn't dove into the bag taking out an onigiri in each hand stuffing his face. So much for him not spoiling his dinner. Sasuke was an uncontrollable onigiri eating machine – and it was only at times like this when he acted like any other adorable, ignorant twelve-year-old instead of the spiteful, smartass, sadistic bastard he was prone to behaving like.

Itachi figured he was partially to blame for Sasuke's personality. Sasuke did look up to him and often imitated him – so over the years the little brother's personality turned out to be one hundred times worse than the big brother's. Sasuke stopped behaving like Itachi a few years ago (maybe four or five) but the damage already took form; Sasuke was a twisted little fuck and Itachi only had himself to blame. The only difference was Itachi was internally an ass... sort of insulting you in your face in the nicest possible way kind of person while Sasuke's bad attitude was blatant. Itachi slowly sat down sighing; if he couldn't stop him from eating he might as well join him. He silently began eating some dango while eying Sasuke looking for any changes in his behavior. When he asked Obito for this favor, his cousin scrolled down an extensive list of food aphrodisiacs – some of which Itachi never heard of – saying he could add several of them to onigiri without being detected. Perhaps having a pâtissier relative was a good thing.

For a smartass, lazy, good for nothing twelve-year-old, Sasuke had a perceptive palate. He was able to distinguish flavors on the level of a professional chef so he would be able to tell if something was off about his food with just one bite. Sasuke's exquisite sense of taste was probably the reason why he couldn't stomach their mother's cooking ...but she truly was a bad cook and Itachi couldn't really handle it either. Of course even if Sasuke realized something was wrong it was a good chance it would be too late for him to do anything since the aphrodisiacs would take effect. Besides, Sasuke couldn't distinguish flavors of things he never ate before.

"Nīsan, wanna try some?" Itachi's right eye twitched. Sasuke rarely offered onigiri to anyone and it wasn't exactly a secret that Itachi loved onigiri as much as Sasuke even though he didn't go as insane as his little brother. If Obito laced all the onigiri as he said Itachi would be screwed taking a bite, then again refusing would screw him over even more. Fuck, talk about a lose lose situation. Still, being in puberty for about two years made Itachi able to handle his hormones better than Sasuke so the effects shouldn't be as strong. Nodding, he took an onigiri out of the bag then experimentally took a bite of it.

He glanced up at the twelve-year-old gaping. "Sasuke, what the hell?" The twelve-year-old had crumbs all over his face and two new onigiri in his hands. By his count that had to be six he already ate and two more going down the same path. Itachi only ate one in the same time frame. Though Itachi didn't know how many Obito made, it was possible for Sasuke to eat all of them without moving. "We have to eat dinner." He snatched one of the onigiri out of Sasuke's hand just as the twelve-year-old was going to bite it so he got his hand bitten in the process. Itachi winced retracted his hand from Sasuke's mouth. As the sixteen-year-old looked down at the teeth marks on his hand he made a mental note to never do that again. "You little shit—"

"Don't get mad at me, you shouldn't have grabbed it out of my hand." Itachi scowled before flicking Sasuke on the forehead. "Oww..."

"Fuck, you little monster, I'm going to need a booster shot now." Sasuke stuck his tongue out. "Lets get dinner started and I swear if I catch you with another onigiri in your mouth we're going to have a problem." Itachi's eyes narrowed as Sasuke stuffed the other onigiri in his hand straight in his mouth. "Move your ass." Pouting, Sasuke swallowed the onigiri in his mouth then slid off the stool pausing momentarily as he was hit by a wave of dizziness. Itachi looked over his shoulder frowning as Sasuke swayed back and forth. "What the hell? If I cook by myself, I'm eating by myself."

"You can't eat by yourself because you need to feed your new buddy." Sasuke countered stumbling over to him. "You know... I-I either ate too much or you drugged me with onigiri. Whichever one it is I'm telling mom." He slumped over the counter staring at Itachi.

Chuckling, Itachi put an apron over Sasuke's hunched form tying it then slid a plate of vegetables in front of him. What most kids considered gross in terms of food (i.e. vegetables) Sasuke loved and vice versa so their mother never had to worry about tricking Sasuke to eat healthy – ironically he ate as healthy as she wanted but barely grew; Itachi on the other hand eat junk food like any other teen only eating vegetables when he had to and sprouted like there was no tomorrow.

Though it wasn't the best decision putting a sharp object in front of Sasuke, Itachi handed him the knife. He wasn't about to cook dinner for everyone alone and it was possible an inebriated Sasuke was more useful than the usual, sober Sasuke was. Nevertheless, the twelve-year-old managed to perfectly chop the vegetables without causing harm to himself or his brother. "What are we making nīsan?" He slurred glaring at his brother.

The teen put down his knife staring at Sasuke somehow glaring and pouting at him. Itachi sincerely hoped Sasuke just couldn't handle his lust and Obito didn't accidentally drug him because lust was one thing but he couldn't explain to their mother why her twelve-year-old son was intoxicated. Itachi sighed, if Obito did drug him it wouldn't be the first time either... or the second.

"We're having nabe, that way mom can have some if and when she decides to come home tonight." Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "If you're done with the vegetables get the portable stove." The twelve-year-old saluted before walking off. Once Sasuke was out of sight Itachi dialed hit the number four on his phone which gave him Obito's number.

"Moshi moshi~"

"Did you drug Sasuke?"

"Hello to you too Itachi. Of course I didn't drug Sasuke! At least I don't think I did... I only did what you asked, filled the onigiri with aphrodisiacs! There's saffron, ginseng, ginkgo, chocolate, avocado, honey—"

"You put chocolate in onigiri?"

"Hey, I had to work with what I had! I run a bakery for crying out loud so of course I'm going to put chocolate in it! Anyway, why did you ask?"

"I asked because he's acting crazier than normal."

Itachi's eyes narrowed at the phone as he heard Obito chuckle on the other line. "Then maybe Sasuke-kun is drunk with lust? Sexual desire is different for everyone. What? Yeah, I'm coming! Sorry Itachi, I need to pretend like I'm working so I'll call back to check up on you two... three; don't do anything I wouldn't do~"

As Itachi hung up Sasuke returned with the hotpot for their nabe but that wasn't what had the sixteen-year-old staring at him in utter disbelief. His brother changed out of his sweatpants and was now wearing a pair of loose shorts. "I'm hot..." He said leaning against the counter again. "If you poisoned me I'll never forgive you."

"Poison you? Perish the thought. I would never intentionally cause any harm or ill will toward my precious otōto." He said with a grin that had Sasuke's eyes narrowing further. "Besides, I ate the onigiri too remember? I couldn't have poisoned you without poisoning myself, could I?"

"You could have found a way." Sasuke muttered sitting on the stool putting his head on the counter. Itachi's cellphone chose that moment to ring loudly in some offbeat tune. Sasuke's head snapped up at the familiarity of that sound. "That's Naruto's ringtone! Why is Naruto calling you?"

"No idea." Itachi lied picking up. How terrible could the blond's timing be right now? And where the hell did that ringtone come from? Sighing, he pressed the talk button. "Moshi moshi?"

"Moshi moshi Itachi-nī. Do I need a higher prescription for my glasses or did you call me about a half-hour ago?" Itachi briefly glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall before remembering he was on a phone that displayed the time. Like the blond said it was approximately thirty minutes ago that he called. "Did you hang up on me?"

"No Naruto-kun, I'm here." The twelve-year-old got off the stood again and tried to move closer to Itachi but the teen held him back with his hand. "I have a favor to ask of you but I can't exactly tell you what it is with Sasuke's crazy ass trying to climb me. I know you hate texting but that's my only option right now." He heard the blond make some kind of presumable noise of understanding before they both ended the call. While trying to fend Sasuke off with his left hand he texted Naruto with the right. A while ago, Itachi heard Sasuke say something about Naruto disliking texting because he enjoyed hearing his voice as he spoke instead of the click-clack of the keys while typing a message plus he claimed that texting made you stupid with all the abbreviations and spelling errors. For someone who was loud, attention deficit and borderline obnoxious Naruto was a whiz when it came to spelling. That probably had something to do with his father being a writer.

After a few minutes he finally received a reply. Because he rarely texted, if he texted at all, Naruto's response time was a bit slow. 'That's some seriously messed up stuff!'That was the response he was expecting or at least something along those lines. However, the response that came after wasn't. 'But I can't guarantee I'll stay out of it. Goodnight~'

Itachi sighed shaking his head. Unpredictable as usual. Itachi looked down at Sasuke still trying to get the phone. "Stop, I'm finished." Sasuke glowered at him. "Go wash your hands and whatever I'll finish the rest."

"What rest? All you have to do is put the food in the pot." Sasuke winced as Itachi flicked him on the head again. "Okay, I'm going..."

Itachi sighed in relief as Sasuke drunkenly walked to the bathroom. Naruto said, or rather texted, that he couldn't guarantee that he would stay out of this but at the same time he never specified what he'd be staying out of. Whether it was to help Sasuke or work with Itachi was unknown and it was that feeling of uncertainty that Itachi didn't like. Dammit! There was also the possibility of him telling Sasuke.

"Itachi-san?" The sixteen-year-old turned to Karin. "I don't mean to be rude or anything but is dinner ready yet? I'm kind of hungry."

"Almost. Go get my idiot brother and by the time you two come back it should be finished." Nodding, Karin complied walking off although she didn't know where Sasuke was – perhaps that was why he said it should be done when they got back. Itachi didn't seem like the type of person to enjoy a lot of questions being hurled his way so the redhead figured she'd just take her chances walking around. As luck would have it, Sasuke came out of a door – presumably the bathroom – in a complete daze. He lazily turned to the redhead nodding briefly before walking. Karin blushed taking in Sasuke's half-lidded bedroom eyes and flushed face. "Uh, Sasuke-kun?" He slowly turned to her tilting his head; Karin had to bite her lip to keep herself from squealing. How could anyone look so cute doing absolutely nothing? The redhead shook out of her stupor. "W-When's your birthday?"

"July 23rd." He said tilting his head in the opposite direction.

"Yes! My birthday's June 20th, which makes me a month older~" She covered her mouth meaning to say that part to herself. "Uh, Itachi-san told me to get you so we can have dinner. Shall we go?" Karin blinked as he stared blankly at her before nodding slowly. How much of this cuteness could she take before imploding?

She allowed him to walk ahead of her so she could stare at his tempting ass in his loose shorts. Karin wiped her mouth sensing some drool forming. It was going to be nothing short of hell living here and going to school with him. But he looked so cute in his uniform! They made it to the kitchen after what seemed like an eternity in Karin's opinion but she wasn't complaining since she was enjoying the view. "We're having nabe in spring?"

Itachi handed an empty bowl over to the redhead. "You have a better idea?"

"N-No."

The bespectacled girl grabbed some food with her chopsticks. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Sasuke leaning forward on his stool and nearly fell over. The blue-haired boy's pant leg rode up showing more of his thighs but if that wasn't arousing enough Karin saw the telltale signs of an erection confined in the front of his tented pants. It took all of Karin's existing willpower not to get a firsthand experience of fellatio to her new housemate. Calming her nerves, as well as the rest of her body, she reached forward again putting more food in her bowl. Unfortunately, the damage had been done everything in the hotpot seemed provocative to her in some way. Noodles were making very interesting and erotic shapes and the moans coming out of Sasuke's mouth were enough to make her lose her mind! She stilled using the chopsticks as Sasuke hungrily licked his lips then dived back into his bowl slipping more noodles between his closed lips. The redhead adjusted her glasses so she could no longer see Sasuke out of the corner of her eye. It was disappointing not being able to see him but it was for the best of her sanity though nothing could conceal the noises.

"Damn otōto, you're messier than usual." Itachi said setting his bowl down giving his brother a napkin. Sasuke eagerly wiped his face off then continued to eat.

"I don't know, I can't explain it but I'm so damn hungry." He said in between bites. Sasuke's table manners were normally subpar but they were never this bad. Side effect of the aphrodisiac was the mantra Itachi recited in his head – if it was anything else he was risking getting some serious grounding time, a lecture and some kind of cleaning punishment. Or worse, now that their father was still here, on top of the lecturing he'd probably get an Uchiha ass-whopping.

Itachi stared at the half eaten pot in the middle of the table, judging by how fast Sasuke was gulping down his food their mother wouldn't have anything to eat unless he stopped him. "Sasuke? Why don't you take a break with the nabe and eat some of the stuff Obito brought us?"

"You said if you caught me with another onigiri we'd have a problem..." Before Itachi could comment his cellphone started ringing. "You're awfully popular tonight nīsan."

The sixteen-year-old merely stared at him pressing the talk button. "Yeah?"

"Uh..." Itachi's eyes narrowed at the nervous chuckle on the other line. That definitely was not a good sign. "I hope you're sitting down Itachi-kun. Heh heh heh, it—it would appear as though Sasuke is drunk." Itachi paled. He was so getting in trouble for this. "Really, really drunk. When I did inventory I noticed I was missing four bottles of wine from my cellar... I checked the room I made your onigiri in and they were in the trash with the rest of the ingredients I used. I must have mixed them up with bottles of oil. It really isn't my fault they look the same! B-But... on the bright side wine is also an aphrodisiac~" Before Itachi could say anything Obito hung up on him. Sighing, Itachi shoved his phone back in his pocket unable to do much of anything else.

Great, thanks to Obito, Itachi now had a drunk sexed up little brother in front of an impressionable and obviously turned on girl his age. Itachi could swear Sasuke would catch on fire with the level of intensity Karin was staring at him with. The worst part was Itachi couldn't make Sasuke leave – sure he could make Sasuke leave but he had a sinking suspicion Sasuke was sexually masochistic. And he couldn't make the girl leave because she was technically a guest.

Who the hell puts wine in onigiri anyway!? The more Sasuke ate the drunker he'd be so he could eat enough alcohol to make him pass out and risk alcohol poisoning or Itachi could try sobering him up. Though the former would be the obvious choice Itachi had to choose the latter to save his ass. Besides, he couldn't let Sasuke eat all the onigiri now, if they were this effective he needed to use these for another day.

He once again snatched an onigiri out of his little brother's hand fortunate this time didn't end up like the first where he got bit. Sasuke pouted at him but stopped when he replaced the onigiri with a donut. The twelve-year-old shrugged then began eating. The alcohol must have given him a tolerance for sweets so Itachi went with it. Attempting to be a good host, the sixteen-year-old offered a donut to Karin who happily accepted it. "Okay, what do you two want to do before bed? In case you were wondering, Karin-chan, bedtime is 10pm for anyone under the age of fifteen." Karin glanced at the clock that read 9:04pm. There was no way in hell she could deal with another hour of Sasuke's cuteness. "Sasuke needs plenty of sleep to fuel his grouchiness for the morning."

"If its alright Itachi-san, I'd like to go to bed now." The siblings exchanged glances before Itachi nodded. "Right. Goodnight Itachi-san, Sasuke-kun." Sasuke gave the redhead a half-assed wave as she trotted up the stairs.

"Now what?" Itachi asked glancing at Sasuke.

"We could eat more?"

"How about no you little glutton. Lets watch some TV or something and wait for mom to come home." Sasuke stared at him raising an eyebrow. "Aren't you curious about her disappearance especially if dad's back in town? She said she should be home yet she's not."

"Nīsan, mom's grown we shouldn't care what she and dad do they are married after all." Yawning, the twelve-year-old headed to the couch in the living room unceremoniously depositing his body onto it. He leaned back so that he was staring upside down at his brother. "Has anyone ever told you that you worry way too much?"

Sighing, Itachi headed over to the couch sitting next to Sasuke who put his head back in an upright position. "Has anyone ever told you you're annoying as fuck?" Sasuke nodded grinning. Shaking his head, he put his arm around Sasuke who instantly snuggled into the position. Itachi furrowed his eyebrows at the boy's flushed face and the heat radiating off of his body. Did the onigiri screw with his thermodynamics too? There was no way Itachi should be able to feel his external temperature when they were barely touching and if Sasuke was this hot on the outside he must have been achieving boiling point internally.

Itachi turned the TV on via remote then used the hand of the arm Sasuke was leaning on to feel the boy's temperature on his neck. He suppressed the urge to hiss he moved his hand. Alcohol couldn't entirely be to blame; Obito put a shitload of things inside of the onigiri could have triggered some kind of chemical reaction – chocolate was a stimulant after all.

"Are you okay?" Sasuke cutely looked up at his brother nodding. Despite Sasuke's overwhelming tendency to annoy (deliberately or otherwise), Itachi did care a great deal for his brother's well-being so he was a bit worried about how things would turn out. Sasuke yawned snuggling up closer to Itachi.

Maybe he didn't have anything to worry about, Sasuke would go to sleep and when he awoke Itachi would give him a hangover remedy assuming the miniature alcoholic was drunk and not just tipsy. Sasuke snuggled up more, as close as a date in a horror film or romantic comedy theater, pressing his apparent erection into his brother's thigh. Though he didn't move, the twelve-year-old furrowed his eyebrows almost as if he was having an out of body experience. Feeling an erection yet not knowing where it came from.

A key was heard going into the front door and it opened revealing their mother. "Mom!" Sasuke yelled trying to go to her when Itachi pulled him back.

"You idiot, do you really want mom to see you in this state?" Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows and Itachi merely pointed down. Gray eyes followed the finger pointing down at his pants.

"Hi baby." Mikoto said walking over to the couch kissing both of her children on the cheek ruffling Sasuke's already unruly hair. "Where is Karin-chan?"

"In bed." Sasuke replied. "I'm going to bed soon too." The blue-haired woman nodded.

"Good. Well, I—" She yawned. "Oh, excuse me, I guess I'll be going to be too. Goodnight."

"Night." They said watching her walk to her room which was on the ground floor. Itachi sighed in relief slumping back on the couch. That went better than he expected.

Once they heard the bedroom door close Itachi turned to Sasuke, "okay. Get your ass to bed."

"Now?" Itachi nodded. "Alright, night nīsan." The twelve-year-old shakily stood hobbling up the stairs clumsily going into their bedroom. Itachi sighed leaning back against the couch contemplating staying there for a while but he realized if Sasuke was going to stupidly peruse around the house in a drunken stupor he just might go to their mother's or Karin's room. Itachi stood, he had to be well rested to avoid that.