Joy
"Katniss!" Peeta jolts awake. He sits up and looks next to him and see her lying next to him. She looks back up at him. "Are you alright?" She asked when she sits up.
"Yeah, it was just a nightmare. I'm fine. You'd think after two years, the nightmares will ease up and become manageable, but they're just as vivid as always. It's still hard to tell what's real or not." Peeta answered. Katniss nods in agreement.
"I guess that's why Haymitch drinks rather than deal with reality." She says looking away from his frightened blue eyes. He nods and lies back down, pulling her with him.
They live together as if they were a married couple but they haven't officially been married. It really doesn't matter to them if they are or not. Although their friends and Katniss's mother call them a married couple. They are still considered too unstable to work and the new government pay them enough for them to survive. But they don't really need the money since they have a garden full of vegetables and fruit to keep them fed. Peeta gardens and Katniss hunts. But they used their money to buy livestock so too keep them in meat. They sell there produce and meat to the other citizens that moved back to District 12.
Katniss hunts only to keep her occupied and busy from her nightmares. Although her hunting trips are once a week since she has Peeta to keep her safe at night. Haymitch checks on them when he is sober enough to remember them.
They're slowly healing each other and helping each other chase away the nightmares and flash backs. "We're one messed up couple." Katniss said one night after she woke up screaming, and finding comfort from the boy with the bread. Her dandelion in the early spring. "Yeah I know. I still wonder if this is real or not real." He answered.
Now they lay in the bed holding one another. Peeta wakes again screaming her name. He pulls her closer to him and kisses her feverishly, as if he were going to lose her. He rolls her onto her back as he continues kissing her. He pulls away from her lips and looks her in the eye.
"Katniss, please, I need you. I need you to show me this is real. That you're real. That your love is real?" He begs as he looks at her with terrified eyes. She knows what he wants. It started the night after they became intimate. He learned it helped him sort through reality and what's a hallucination. She nods and pulls him to her lips to kiss him and she ran her hands along his chest. She ran her hands till they were on his back pulling him closer to her. Soon they are one and all his mind knows is that she truly is real and she truly loves him. She's not a hallucination.
He cradles her in his arms afterwards and presses his lips at the nap of her neck.
"You love me, real or not real?" He asks as he always does afterwards. "Real" She answers as she strokes his arm that is wrapped around her chest.
~o~
She woke with a jolt and scrambled to be freed from his arms and run to the bathroom as she held her hand clamped over her mouth. She heaved over the toilet and emptied her stomach. It was a month later and she was starting to feel sick these past two weeks. This was the first time she vomited. Peeta walked in behind her. "Are you okay?" He asked with deep concern. She went up to the sink and rinsed her mouth out. "Yeah I'm just not feeling well lately." She answered. She went back into their room and climbed back into bed. Peeta followed and sat next to her.
"Can I do anything?" He asked.
"Yeah a glass of water would help." She answered. He nodded and went to the kitchen and returned back with the glass. She sipped at it and the water helped.
She was sick the rest of the day and the few days afterwards. "That's it I'm getting Greasy Sae." He declared after she refused to let anyone check her out. She was sitting on the floor next to the toilet. She tried to protest but he was already gone. He returned a few minutes later with Greasy Sae behind him. Greasy Sae walked into the room and looked at Katniss.
"Peeta tells me you've been sick for a couple of days now." The old woman said. Katniss nodded.
"What else has been going on?" She asked.
"I've been having strange cravings but I feel too sick to eat. My stomach has been hurting a lot lately." Katniss answered. Greasy Sae examine Katniss closely. She noticed she had gained some weight since she saw her last week, when she came to see how they were doing. She burst into laughter, which made them jump at her outburst. "What's so funny?" They asked together with confusion.
"Katniss when was your last cycle?" The old woman asked. Katniss looked confused for a second then her eyes grew with realization. Peeta was still in the dark, he had no idea what they were talking about.
"Congrats you're going to be a father." Greasy Sae said looking at him with a smile. He sat on the floor with shock written across his face.
"I'll leave you two alone." The old woman said as she stood up and walked out of the room. They stared at each other with horror on their faces.
"Wow I can't believe this." Katniss said as she sat up and held her hand on her abdomen. Horror was on her face rather than happiness. She was terrified of becoming a mother especially being a mother who is so messed up in the head. She was scared if she became too happy it will be taken away from her just like everything else. Yeah she has Peeta back but he was returned to her just as damaged as she is. Her father, ally, sister, and many dear friends all taken away from her. What if this is taken away as well? What if I let myself be happy I will lose everything? I can't handle losing anyone anymore. I will lose it for sure. Not even Peeta could reach me. Katniss thought as she held her stomach and stared back at Peeta who was sitting on the floor looking just as scared as she is.
Both scared it will be taken from them. Both afraid of loneliness and heartbreak. They lost so much. He who lost his entire family during the bombing of District 12 after the Quarter Quell. She who lost her father when she was eleven, and losing her mother emotionally, then watching her sister being consumed by fire after a bomb exploded. They both seen many horrors in just less than two years since they were sent to their first Hunger Games. He who was tortured by the Capital, and turned into a weapon to kill the one girl he has loved all his life. How can two messed up people become parents? How do they keep a happy family happy? They both grew up in unhappy homes. Peeta's mother hated him and beat him, and his father turned his head away from the beatings and let it happen.
I'll never hit my children the way Mother did. I will let them live their lives happily without fear. Peeta thought as he remembered his mother hitting him for everything that he did wrong in her eye, which was everything.
"Peeta what are you thinking about?" Katniss asked as she stood up and walked over to him and sat next to him.
"I was thinking about how my mother would hit me for everything she thought I did wrong. And how my father never stopped her. He just let it happen. I think he hated me too." He answered looking into her eyes.
"Yeah I was thinking about my parents too. Father was a great man but when he died Mother lost it and left me and Prim to starve." Katniss says.
"Well let's promise to never be like are mothers and never hit or starve our child." He said.
"Of course not. I'm just afraid it will be taken from us just like everything in our lives were taken from us in the past. I know we don't have to worry about them being reaped from us to become tributes in those morbid Games we were forced to be, but I can't help but be scared that all this happiness and peace will be ripped away from me." She said. He nodded in agreement. And wrapped his arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer to him.
"Congrats you two!" Haymitch says when he visits them after Greasy told them the news.
"I knew you had it in ya." He winked at Peeta. Peeta couldn't help the blush that formed across his cheeks.
"Looking good Sweetheart! Pregnancy suits you. You two have nothing to be afraid of, so enjoy this moment." He says. He didn't have to be told that they were frightened. He could see it in their faces.
"You two will be the greatest parents. Better than your own parents were ever were. Sure you two have been through hell and back but that's all over with and in your past. This child is your future and it's a happy one at that." He says as he tries to be a mentor to them again. He realized he couldn't escape this job and he felt like they replaced the family he had and lost long ago.
"You two are my only family and I'll be damned if anyone will take you away from me like my first family was. This child will grow up in the happiest family ever. This child will take away all of your fears and replace them with love and peace. And we all know we need it." He adds as he sits down in the rocking chair in front of the fire place.
They nodded in agreement and felt comforted from the drunken old man who felt like an uncle to them. Greasy Sae their grandmother. Even Johanna was family to them. She was the crazed sister they saw every so often when she would stop by and check on them. Gale never returned but sends them letters. Katniss's mother stops by once a year for a month. "Our child will have the most dysfunctional family ever." Katniss laughed when she watched Haymitch take a swig from his liquor bottle and fell asleep. Peeta laughs as well.
~o~
"You can do this Katniss. Just push." Her mother coached as she pulled out the baby's head. Katniss screamed as the baby made its way out.
"You're doing good honey two more long pushes." Her mother says. Katniss grabs Johanna's and Annie's hands, squeezing them as she pushed again.
Peeta paced back and forth in the living room. Haymitch, Greasy Sae, Effie –Who came a week ago saying she wouldn't miss this for the world-, and Gale. Effie flinched at every scream Katniss made. "I'm never having children. I can't handle pain." She said after it was quiet again. Thy heard one last scream which was followed by a baby wailing in the house. Peeta didn't hesitate as he ran up the stairs and burst through the door. "Congratulations, it's a healthy baby girl." Mrs. Everdeen said as she handed him the baby after she cleaned her up and wrapped a blanket around the still wailing baby.
He held her close to him as he looked at her face taking in every feature. She finally stopped crying and stared back at him breathing heavily. She looked so beautiful. Dark curly hair and bright baby blue eyes. They won't know if they will stay blue like his are turn gray like her. Her cheeks chubby and pink. Her button nose scrunching up as she breathed heavily. She looked back at him, and took his breath away when she smiled at him. He looked over at the four women and noticed something was wrong Katniss wasn't responding and Mrs. Everdeen was trying to stop the blood from flowing out. She was bleeding too much.
"Katniss!" Peeta said barely in a whisper, with horror deep in his voice.
"Katniss stay with us." Johanna said angrily. Katniss looked so pale and so lifeless.
"Katniss!" Peeta said loudly with horror.
"Take her out of here." Mrs. Everdeen tells Peeta.
"I can't leave." He said in panic. Annie walked over to him and he passed the baby girl over to her. After she was out the door Peeta took her place holding Katniss's hand. "Please don't leave me alone. I need you. I can't do this on my own." He said as he kissed her cheek and forehead. Her breathing was shallow.
"What's wrong with her?" he asked in desperation.
"She must have had an aneurism that burst while she was pushing. I'm doing everything I can. But the bleeding won't stop." She said calmly. Even though it's her daughter she is working on she was in her normal healer's mode.
"What's going on?" The four people who were waiting downstairs asked Annie as she walked down the stairs to them, while holding the bundle. They grew weary when they didn't see Peeta with her.
"She's bleeding too much. Peeta won't leave her side." She answered. They nodded in understanding. Annie went to sit by her two year old son ahile still holding the new born baby girl in her arms. They all waited anxiously as they waited for any news on what was going on with Katniss.
Peeta stood by Katniss's side pleading with her too stay with him. Finally the bleeding stopped but she was still unconscious. The three never left her side throughout the night.
The sun was rising and Katniss opened her eyes with the sun shining in the birthing room. She felt her hand was being held by another hand. She looked over to find tired blue eyes stare back at her with relief.
"Hi." She greeted tiredly.
"Hi, welcome back. You scared us." He greeted back.
"I'm sorry." She apologized.
"It's alright just don't leave me alone again. I can't handle life without you." Peeta said as he kissed her forehead.
"Where is she?" Katniss asked when she looked around for her baby.
"She's with Annie right now." He answered.
Katniss looked around and noticed her mother was in a chair by the window fast asleep and Johanna next to her asleep as well. Her mother woke when she heard them talk. "Katniss, thank goodness." She said with relief and a smile.
"How are you feeling?" She asked as she stood up and walked over to her.
"Tired and sore." She answered.
"Yeah you're going to be sore for a while." She answered.
"How long was I out?" Katniss asked.
"The whole rest of yesterday and throughout the night. You'll be alright now. You just rest and heal. I'll go bring the baby up to you so you can feed her." She said.
"Peeta and Joanna help her sit up." She demanded as she walked out the room.
Katniss sat up wincing and cringing at the pain as Peeta helped her sit up. Johanna pulled the pillows up behind her to help her sit up straight. Katniss scooted back and leaned back on the pillows. "Thank you!" She said as she looked at them.
Her mother walked back in with the baby in her arms. She walked over to her daughter and placed her in Katniss's awaiting arms. Katniss looked down at the baby in her arms and studied her features. "She's beautiful." She said with admiration. They laughed and agreed.
Katniss's mother showed her how to feed the baby and left the three of them alone once the baby was done. Peeta sat next to her on the bed. "What shall we name her?" He asked.
"Joy, her name is Joy because she brings joy to anyone around her." Katniss said with joy in her voice.
"Sounds perfect. Joy Mellark." He sang as they watched her sleep.
After all their fears and doubt, now was gone the second she was born and she truly brought joy to the people around her.
The end
