Okay, everyone! I really hope you like this short little one-shot. It's my first attempt at writing an Avatar fanfic. I just watched Day of Black Sun last night and they were talking about Ursa, you know, so I wondered...because, to me, it seemed like Azula knew sort of what happened to their mom (in Zuko Alone).
This is just Zuko and Azula, discussing their mother...it takes place right after "The Beach"
I tried to keep Zuko appropriately angst-ridden and keep Azula crazy, while still giving her a little humanity...not too much, though! I hope they're not too OOC...please tell me if they are.
Does the title make sense? Basically...everything lies in ashes: the picture, their mother (or her memory, at least), Azula's feelings, etc...
The short, choppy, fragmented sentences are just my writing style.
I do not own Avatar: The Last Airbender in any way, shape, or form. I only own this conversation, because I wrote it.
Reviews are great, constructive criticism is better!
Enjoy!Later that night, after the party is over, after they ransack the house, Zuko returns to a place he needs to re-visit.
That doesn't mean he wants to.
Walking up the stone steps, he sighs. He passes through the doors that are now hanging off their hinges, splintered wood the only thing left, evidence of the anger he felt earlier that evening.
He looks around, not really sure why he feels such a need to be back here. It's not like there's anything he cares about. The family picture lies in ashes on the beach and he'd rather not look at the concrete containing his hand print.
He sighs once more, sits down on the dusty wooden floor. More than anything, he would like to leave this house, get up, walk away, and never come back. But something keeps him here…something tells him he can't leave until he figures something out.
The only problem is, he isn't quite sure what he's supposed to be figuring out.
His heart beats faster, some sense of rage builds over him, and he stands up, hands balled into fists. He wants to shout, to burn something, anything…but he knows he shouldn't. The scar on his face reminds him of what anger does to people. He kneels on the floor again, head down, and whispers, "I don't know what to do…"
There are footsteps behind him. He turns around, not bothering to care that there are probably tears of anger and frustration in his eyes.
It's Azula. She must've walked up the steps a while ago, for now she's standing a few feet away, inside the house, hand on her hip, watching him.
He pauses, waits, expects at any second she'll open her mouth and insult him.
The expected never comes. She sighs and walks closer. She hasn't said anything, and that worries Zuko more that if she'd made her usual remark about his failure and weakness.
She walks even closer and sits down next to him. He shifts so he's facing away from her.
"What do you want, Azula?"
She laughs a little, reminds Zuko of his old familiar sister. "So suspicious. Can't I just visit my big brother?"
She asks it in a way that implies she doesn't need an answer. He gives her one anyway.
"No. Leave me alone."
"Well, I can't do that. Surely you don't want me to leave, do you? Leave little Zuzu to wallow in his self-pity?"
He's still not facing her, but he can imagine the smile that's made its way across her face. She's soaking up his misery.
He doesn't give her a reply, remains in silence. Maybe she'll go away if he ignores her.
Azula never liked being ignored. It just makes her want the attention more. She moves closer to him, so close he can feel her breath on his neck.
"Now, Zuko, surely you don't want to shut me out. Don't you want to tell me what's wrong?"
The way he twists away from her indicates that he'd much rather have his eye re-scarred.
He can hear Azula sigh, stand up. Her footsteps echo farther and farther away. He hopes for one moment that she's left.
"Why'd you do it?"
She's still there. The poisonously sweet tone she was using a moment earlier has left. For a brief moment, Zuko thinks he hears sadness in her voice.
"Why'd I do what?"
"Burn the picture." The way she deadpans it makes him wonder for a second why she's even asking.
But he knows…Azula is never one to say outright when something's bothering her.
"Why do you care?"
"I never said I did."
"Then why are you asking?"
His question is met with silence. Finally, he turns around. Azula's standing in the doorway, looking out toward the beach.
"It was our family." She whispers it in an uncharacteristically quiet way.
"Our family isn't exactly fantastic, just in case you haven't noticed."
She turns to him, fixes him with a glare so fierce that it makes any further comments die immediately on his lips.
Zuko sighs. He still really wants to leave, but he hasn't figured out why he's even here in the first place and he thinks talking to Azula might lead to the answer.
"Can I ask you a question?"
Azula laughs, in a sickly sweet, poison tinted way. "You just did, dum-dum."
He ignores this snipe and asks, "Did you really mean what you said? Or did you just say that?"
Azula already knows what he's talking about. "What I said about Mom?" She pauses, thinks for a heartbeat. "Yeah, I did." She shrugs in a nonchalant way. "Like it matters."
Zuko stands up and walks a few steps nearer to his sister. This is the first remotely civil conversation they've had with each other in a while.
"It bothers you, doesn't it?"
Now, Azula's the one turning away. "I said it didn't."
"You didn't mean that, though."
Azula spins toward him. The sweetness has left and now her words are just poisonous and angry. "Shut up, Zuko. You don't know what you're talking about, so stop trying to analyze me and just leave me alone!"
An awkward silence descends on the dark, dusty room. Zuko chooses not to point out that she was the one who sought him out in the first place.
"Mom never thought you were a monster."
He expects this comment to bring tears, or another angry outburst. Instead, his sister just smiles, looking rather like a cat that just caught a canary.
"Oh, of course she did. I always knew she did. She absolutely loathed me, Zuzu. You were her perfect little angel. It didn't matter to her that you possessed next to no fire bending skill. Compared to me, her freakish little sociopath of a daughter, she revered you as something close to a god." Her smile widens. "Like I said, it didn't matter. I had Dad…I've always been his favorite."
She knows the affect her last statement has on him. For a brief, burning second, he can almost feel the burn scar on his eye, as if it had just been "bestowed" upon him.
"So, it was a lie then?" Zuko regains enough composure to continue questioning his sister. "It didn't really hurt you that Mom didn't love you."
The way it's put as a statement, rather than a question, and the way Zuko comes out and so bluntly says it, a way which makes it sting more than if it were said gently, makes Azula lower her eyes and look away.
"I never said that…my own mother didn't love me…of course it hurt."
Zuko stares in shock at his sister, remembers back to a few days after their mother disappeared.
Zuko lay on the ground outside, eyes closed, letting the sun burn his face. It didn't matter…nothing really did any more.
He didn't know where his mother was…everyone else was just as uninformed as he was, or they had been forbidden to tell him.
Suddenly, the hot burn of the sun cooled a bit and a shadow fell over him.
"What are you doing, dum-dum?"
His eyes snapped open to find Azula standing above him. He didn't answer, merely rolled away from her.
"You're pathetic, you know. Just lying here like some farm animal…and dad's just been made the Fire Lord. You should be happy…or something."
He rolled his eyes and glared at her. "What's your problem, Azula? Doesn't it bother you at all that Mom is gone?"
His little sister shrugged. "Not really. No. As far as I'm concerned, she got what she deserved for whatever she did."
Zuko sat bolt upright at this. He didn't understand how she could be so cruel. "Do you even know that she did anything?"
Azula shrugged again. "No, but Dad must've had a good reason, right?"
"You're so stupid."
"So are you. What's your point?"
Zuko stood up to his full height, a little over half a foot taller than Azula. "My point? My point is that our mother is gone, Azula. Gone! And we have no idea why."
Azula smiled. "I know…"
Zuko's heart seemed to stop beating in his chest. "You do?"
"I might know, Zuzu…but, I'll never tell you."
Zuko's drawn out of his memory when Azula speaks. "What's wrong Zuko? Are you having a panic attack, or something?"
Once more, he chooses to ignore her remark. "Why didn't you care when Mom left?"
Azula's slight smirk seems to fade a bit. "I did care…but, she didn't seem to be that concerned about me. She told you she was leaving, right?" When he nods in agreement, she continues. "Apparently, she couldn't be troubled to tell me."
Zuko doesn't bother to say he's not surprised, and it doesn't matter, because Azula's still talking.
"She's always liked you better, Zuko. I bet she still likes you more even now, after all these years."
He starts to reply to that statement, but then, the meaning of her words hit him and his blood freezes.
"What do you mean 'now'? She's gone…isn't she?"
Were he looking at her, Zuko may have seen the brief look of panic flit across Azula's face. She composes herself before he turns around.
"Of course she's gone. Don't be stupid, Zuzu. I was just speaking in a metaphorical way."
For one tiny moment, Zuko lures himself into the false sense of security that she's telling the truth. But then he remembers:
"I might know, Zuzu…but, I'll never tell you."
Zuko stares at Azula. She's been alerted to the sudden silence in the room, so she turns to him, stares as well.
"What?"
"You're sure you don't know?"
She nods, trying to keep her usual cool composure, but he notes the look of discomfort that suggests that she'd rather not talk about this.
"What about what you said to me when we were little?"
"What did I say?"
He tells her, and she says that she doesn't recall that.
"That was years ago. Like I'd remember that."
Another moment of silence passes, and then Azula speaks.
"Look, Zuko. Mom's probably dead. I don't know anything more…let's just leave it at that."
The look Azula gives him suggests that it better be left as it is, and, turning away, she says, "I suppose Mei and Ty Lee will be worried. We should get back."
Zuko, after some reluctance, agrees, and they head down the steps.
As they leave, Zuko casts one more glance at their old summer home.
A sudden memory hits him, a memory of sitting in his room, not long before his mom disappeared.
"Azula always lies…Azula always lies…"
He remembers.
Azula always lies.
He wonders what she's lying about this time.
Like it? Love it? Hate it? Were they too OOC? Well, press that little purple-ish button and tell me, please!
So...um...how'd you all like it? Was it stupid? Was it boring? Should I never write an Avatar fanfic again?
Tell me! I need to know!
