Maggie
Chapter 1
Late Autumn, 1879
Jarrod was as nervous as a schoolboy, even though he couldn't understand why. He was 36 years old, for heaven's sake. There had been several other women, for heaven's sake. He had been married, for heaven's sake.
Maybe that was it. Maggie was the first woman he had even asked to see socially since his wife, Beth, had been killed. Was there some guilt floating around inside? Maybe, but not enough to make him turn around and go home, obviously. No, it was time to start seeing someone, and Maggie was a lovely someone to be seeing.
She was waitress at his favorite café, widowed like he was. He had actually known her for several months. They'd had many casual conversations, brief but tantalizing, and as he was finally putting to rest a recurring threat by someone against him and his family, he asked her out. A simple Sunday afternoon of theatre and an early dinner. No big commitment, nothing fancy.
So why was he so nervous that he arrived at the place they agreed to meet a good ten minutes early?
It worked out. Maggie was five minutes early, and seeing him, she flashed that beautiful smile and laughed. "And here I thought I was arriving too early."
Jarrod laughed a little bit himself. "Do I look overanxious?"
"No, just not so good at judging the time."
Jarrod offered his arm, and Maggie took it. "I hope you like Shakespeare. Measure for Measure is playing."
"I love Shakespeare, and Measure for Measure is one of my favorites. I've never gotten to see it performed."
"Well, then, you're in for a treat."
XXXXXX
She was so easy to talk to, so easy to be with. Seeing the play together, Jarrod didn't have to explain a thing. Maggie seemed to follow everything – which she obviously did, since she had read the play more than once. She even made a gasping noise during Angelo's "What art thou, Angelo" speech, one of Jarrod's favorite Shakespeare monologues. He felt so comfortable with her that holding her hand seemed perfectly natural, so he did, almost through the whole play.
When they left to go to dinner, they found a cold wind had come in from the ocean. Jarrod put his coat around Maggie's shoulders. He could have sworn she tingled at his touch. She could have sworn he lingered for a moment on her shoulders.
Dinner was at one of Jarrod's favorite restaurants. "I'd have preferred to take you to my club, but they close on Sundays," he said after they were seated.
Being late autumn, it was already turning dark. The restaurant was lovely by candlelight. The waiters were attentive without being intrusive. Jarrod ordered Chateaubriand for the two of them.
And they talked, and talked, and talked. Jarrod explained how he had decided to live in San Francisco full time. He told Maggie about his family still in Stockton. Maggie explained that she had grown up in a family of four, including herself and a brother who had died in the war, but that her family was all gone now. She had not remained close with her husband's extended family for reasons she did not explain. She was alone in the world but making do all right.
"I'm surprised no gentleman has scooped you up before now," Jarrod said.
Maggie laughed that melodic laugh of hers. "I suppose you can blame my lingering attachment to my husband, and maybe also the need to be working so much. Things get in the way of a social life."
"Well, I know how that is," Jarrod said. "I have my own memories tugging at me, and I've also been burning the midnight oil a lot."
"I guess that's why this afternoon has turned out so special. We don't do it often enough."
"I wouldn't mind doing it again before too long," Jarrod said.
"I wouldn't mind, either," Maggie said.
The food was delicious and they lingered together at the restaurant for a couple hours before Maggie pleaded the necessity of turning in early for a long day's work the next day. Jarrod paid the bill, and they left together, Maggie wearing Jarrod's coat again.
They still took their time walking to Maggie's home, still anxious to talk together and not willing to give it up too soon. She took him to a block of houses with steps leading up to a front door. It looked like an older townhouse that had been divided into apartments. Maggie stopped at the bottom of the steps and began to take Jarrod's coat off. He helped her.
"Well, I'm sorry to call an end to this lovely day, but…"
"But real life calls," Jarrod said. "I've had a wonderful time, Maggie. May I see you again?"
"I would like that," she said, and she kissed him on the cheek. "But I assume you mean other than at the café."
Jarrod smiled. "Definitely other than at the café."
"Good night, Jarrod."
"Good night," he said and watched as she climbed the stairs and let herself into the building. In a moment or two, lights came on in the first floor apartment to the left of the stairs.
Jarrod sighed, put his coat on, and began the long walk home. But his steps were not heavy tonight.
XXXXX
The next evening, Jarrod took his dinner at the café and, of course, saw Maggie there. They kept things very businesslike – she called him Mr. Barkley, not Jarrod, and he refrained from touching her hand when she set his dinner down in front of him.
He did tell her about something that had come up. "I'm going to have to dash off to Sacramento tomorrow."
"Oh?" Maggie said. "Government business?"
"Something like that. I don't think I'll be gone long, but if you don't see me for a few days, don't think I've gone and left you."
Maggie smiled. "I do believe you're the kind of man who would tell me and explain why if you went off and left me."
"I am, I promise," he said. "But don't count on a speech like that anytime soon."
"Well, I hope you have a good trip and come back hungry."
"I plan on it."
XXXXXX
Jarrod's trip to Sacramento had come up fairly quickly. A telegram from a State Senator had arrived on Monday morning. Senator Donald Coleman was an acquaintance from law school days, and he apparently had a problem he needed to discuss with Jarrod in person. Jarrod felt lukewarm about his memories of the man – they hadn't been close, but they hadn't been unfriendly either. Jarrod felt like it was a good idea to help an old acquaintance, and it wouldn't hurt to move deeper into the State political circles if he was hoping to Attorney General someday.
He thought about that on the train just as casually as he had ever thought about it, and then suddenly he was brought up short by reality. Under his circumstances, being Attorney General was a pipe dream. He was a man living with a cloud over his head, that heart problem. There was no set deadline on his life, but the wall was there, up ahead somewhere. The road to being Attorney General might very well be too long for him to take.
And did he really want it anyway? What did he really want out of life? That dreadfully hard question slapped him right in the face. When your time is limited – no matter what the limit is – you look at everything differently, and harder. What did he really want out of life?
The more he thought about it, the more he knew it wasn't the Attorney General position he wanted. He remembered a conversation with his mother a few years earlier, after he'd been blinded in an explosion. He walked with her in his own darkness and talked about what he really wanted out of life. At the time, what he wanted was a wife and a family. Was it really any different now, even though his dreams had been torn apart after Beth? Didn't he still want a woman to love him?
Yes, he did. And it wasn't too late to have her either. Maybe a year, maybe five, maybe more. If it was to be a year, it would be a wonderful year, and it would not be taken up with trying to be Attorney General. It would be given to Maggie, if she would have it. And if it was to be five years or even longer, they would be even more glorious.
When Jarrod walked into the State offices in Sacramento and found Donald Coleman's suite, he greeted Donald's secretary with a happy, resolved smile, and then he greeted Donald with a firm handshake.
"Come on back here, Jarrod," Coleman said and invited him into his inner office.
Jarrod had seen many offices of State representatives, and this one was the same, decked out in mahogany paneling and fine furniture. He sat down in front of Donald's desk, and Donald sat down behind it.
"So, how are you, Jarrod?"
"Just fine," Jarrod said and realized he meant it more at this moment than he had in a long, long time. "How about you, Donald? It's been a long time."
"Sure has," Donald said and leaned back in his chair. "And you've had one helluva career. A lot of us have been watching."
"I'm flattered," Jarrod said, although he'd heard this before.
"I called you here because I wanted to talk you into something – running for Attorney General next term. You have some bipartisan support here in Sacramento. We think you can gather a lot of votes from everybody, and we think you're the man for the job."
There it was. What Jarrod had aimed for for years, and now – "Thank you, Donald, I am flattered and honored, but that's not on my agenda anymore."
Donald was startled. "Really? I've talked to several people who were certain you'd be interested."
"Well, at one time I was, but priorities change in life, you know – and frankly, there are a few skeletons in my closet you really don't want to see come out, and they would if I ran for office."
"What skeletons? Maybe they can be dealt with."
Jarrod shook his head. "No, they can't. Just take my word for it. And besides, like I said, priorities change. Political office just isn't one of mine anymore."
Donald looked stunned. "Well, here I thought you were a sure choice. How can I change your mind?"
"You can't," Jarrod said, and he stood up and extended his hand. "I'm sorry, Donald. Maybe in a year or two, you'll understand my position – maybe you'll come to reevaluating your own priorities one of these days. But my life has genuinely changed over the past few months, and I like it better this way."
Donald stood up and took Jarrod's hand. "I can't say I understand your position, Jarrod, but I do wish you well. And if you change your mind – "
"I won't," Jarrod quickly said. "Thank you for considering me, though. I'm honored – really."
And that was it. Was it a stroke of luck that had Jarrod thinking about the Attorney General position on the train, or was it long distance mind reading? He didn't know, but he was glad he had made the decision before he met with Senator Coleman, because it was very comforting being ready for the pitch and knowing how he wanted to answer it.
Jarrod left the office complex and took a hack to the train station. He was lucky enough to catch a train to San Francisco, and he relaxed and smiled all the way home.
