There is, they say, a darkness so suffocating, that light itself is extinguished by bleakness. It is doubtful that they –whoever they are- had ever experienced this darkness, but had they ever seen this place, they would have found even their seemingly bombastic descriptions sadly lacking.
For in this place were gathered men and women whose evil knew no earthly bounds, who could kick a kitten just by looking at it. And it wasn't as if it was a mangy kitten. No.
It was cute.
"Gentlemen," uttered the shadowy figure seated like a king, upon a dreadful throne of skulls, "Report."
"All iz proceeding as planned. The Garden of Stars has all but fallen," answered a slender, hunched figure.
"Of the forty Star Keys needed, only two remain outside our grasp," added a short, muscular figure.
"Oh ho," chuckled the seated figure, "And where are they?"
"Earth," answered the slender figure, a hint of glee in his voice.
Smiling sadistically, the white glint of his teeth flickered as the seated figure issued an order, "Dear Dietricha, I believe a little light would do this special occasion well."
"Jawohl. Mein fuhrer," nodded the sole female figure of the group.
With but a wave of her hand, countless touches sprung to life. The darkness slithered away from the flickering flames, as shadows danced across four magnificent pillars surrounding the conclave. Adorning the pillars were giant red banners, glowing an unearthly glow as the flames illuminated the dreadful symbol emblazoned upon them.
Swastika!
"Zas Mein Fuhrer believe ze vill be a chance ve may have to face Pretty Cure vance again?" inquired the slender figure.
His moustache glowing amidst the flames, the Fuhrer smiled indignantly, "We have faced and defeated the Legendary Warriors before. Even if Earth has its own champions, they will be of no consequence. There is none in the universe who can oppose us!"
Confident in his power, the malevolent Fuhrer raised his right arm, and it was as if all the evil of this place had suddenly gathered into this single, outstretched limb.
Terror.
Anguish.
Fear.
Hatred.
Despair.
No manner of evil absent. No vice unaccounted. The flames still burnt, but it was as if all it's light and warmth were but illusion. And yet, in this wretched place, the union of villains all raised their arms in imitation of the Fuhrer.
"SIEG HEIL!"
And the hall reverberated with the booming voice of Hell itself.
Far away from the darkness, in a quiet Japanese harbour town, a girl and her twin brother sat under a tree at the top of the hill, overlooking the entire town, bathed in the morning sun as the cool sea breeze gently caressed them.
"Hey Genji, I've been thinking," mused the girl, her short brown hair dancing gracefully in the wind, "Y'know how they say laziness pays off now, but hard work pays off later?"
"The moral there is that the later payoff is much greater, Hayase," answered Genji.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. But, if ya think about it, if I were to consistently be lazy, the accumulated payoffs would probably outweigh the one time later payoff. Also, I could always put it in savings and let it grow. Free float, yo."
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OP: "Big Cure! PreCure!"by Badass Manly PreCure Idol Unite!
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The halls of the local high school were empty. In an hour, they will be filled with the hustle and bustle of the school day, but for the moment, all was quiet. Save for sound of footsteps, and the striking of bamboo coming from the gym.
Today was morning practice for the girls kendo team.
In the center of the gym, a group of girls had crowded around two of their compatriots, locked in heated battle.
Their feet shuffled at a rapid pace as the two armoured combatants attempted to outmaneuver each other.
Fast like a fearsome gale, the two dashed around each other. One strike was all would take to end this warriors' duel! One decisive blow!
The glare of their eyes was clear, even from behind their helmets, as the blades of both girls clashed against each other, impact after impact when suddenly-
"MEN!" screamed one of the girls, as she brought down her bamboo blade at full force onto the head of her adversary. The vary hall echoed as the blade struck true, it's wielder gliding past her vanquished foe.
Satisfied with the strike, the adjudicator nodded and raised his flag, indicating victory had gone to the girl. Almost instantaneously, the gym exploded in cheers as the girls crowded the victor.
"Kaede-senpai! That was awesome!" yelled one high pitched fan.
"You're the best, Kaede-same!" added another, obviously not intending to be outdone.
Unfazed by the crowd of fans around her, Kaede removed her helmet, her black, shoulder length hair glistening with sweat, "Right. Now which of you brown nosers wants to earn my favour by buying me a drink?"
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Today's Episode: Set the Heavens Alight! Shine, Pretty Cure!
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A few hours later, the once empty school was now bustling with life. Over in the school fields, the athletes of tomorrow were training their minds and bodies, honing the skills that would bring them and their country glory in the international stage.
But heroism was not to be found in the school field.
No, our heroine was busy hiding in the darkness of the storage room next to the field.
"Uh…sis, why are we doing this?" inquired Genji, evidently bored from sitting in a storage room for the better part of an hour.
Hayase, evidently less bored from doing the same, sighed and answered indignantly, "Genji. What is the name of our school club?"
Sighing himself, Genji answered, "The Society for the Avoidance and Effective Non-Compliance with Mandatory School Sporting Activities through Intellectual Argument, Civil Disobedience and all Manner of Process, Legal and Ethical or Otherwise."
"And what are the goals of our society?" inquired Hayase, despite knowing the answer full well.
"The avoidance and effective non-compliance with mandatory school sporting activities through intellectual argument, civil disobedience and all manner of process, legal and ethical or otherwise," answered Genji, in seemingly perfect monotone.
"Bingo! And don't forget Genji, your grades aren't great, so if you wanna pass, you're gonna need the extracurricular credits," said Hayase, flashing her brother a smile and a thumbs up.
Scratching his head, Genji asked, "So…I'm going to get extra marks, for deliberately skipping class. How on Earth did you manage to convince the principal to approve this club?"
"Huh? What do you mean?" asked Hayase, seemingly unaware of the logical conundrum her brother had raised when her attention was drawn by a mysterious, shining object from behind the myriad dusty boxes of the storage room, "Oooh! Something shiny!"
Rummaging through the boxes, Hayase dug out the shiny object in question; a silver device, vaguely shaped like a mobile phone and adorned with pretty little hearts and flowers. "Hey cool! Free stuff!" exclaimed Hayase, "Genji! Wanna see if we can find any other cool stuff round here?"
"No."
"Fine, suit yourself then," pouted Hayase, before throwing herself once more into the business of petty theft.
Genji watched his sister in boredom some time before his eyes lit up as he heard his salvation ringing in the distance. "Hey sis, the bell just rung, I'm going home now, k?" he said, as he dusted himself off and left.
Not replying, Hayase continued scouring the room for more stuff to snag, until no box was left unturned.
"Huh. That was disappointing," moaned the girl as she surveyed her handiwork. She had easily spent almost three hours in the storage room, and the sun was already setting. And all she had to show for it was another phone-like device, similar in design, but golden in colour.
Fiddling with them for a while, Hayase's face eventually turned to disappointment, "Hmm…doesn't look like they can actually call anyone…huh. Looks like they're just silly toys…now that's a let down."
Sighing, she turned around to leave the storage room and flung the two devices over her shoulder, when suddenly, she heard a pitched voice cry out.
"OW!"
"What the?" muttered Hayase, before turning around to see two fluffy, teddy bear-like creatures, messaging their heads in pain.
"Hey! Don't throw us around like that, asshole! Buu!" yelled the yellow creature.
"Owies…my head. Fuu," moaned the white creature.
"Huh. Phones that can turn into talking toys. Cool!" exclaimed Hayase, a big smile now plastered on her face.
Grabbing the two creatures, she shoved them into her bag, "Hehe, wait till Genji get's a load of this!"
"Omph! Gef youf handph off mah phace! Buu!" shouted the yellow creature before being forced into Hayase's bag.
Thus the girl finally left the storage room. Mysterious creatures in her bag, their protests blissfully ignored.
Happy with her new acquisition, Hayase practically skipped home, her blissful humming drowning out the desperate cries of the kidnapped creatures.
Unbeknownst to her, watchful eyes were closely following her from the shadows. For the first time, true evil had come into her life. The cries of the creatures had drawn it here, and now, their fates were intrinsically linked.
Suddenly, the very skies darkened! Gone was the warmth and glow of the evening sun, in it's place a chilling wind and the howl of hungry wolves!
"Whoa, it got dark quick," mused Hayase, unaware of danger fast approaching.
Then, without warning, lightning struck! A deadly bolt of electricity tore through the ground mere meters in front of Hayase, throwing her off her feet as the sky rumbled with deafening thunder!
But this was no mere lightning. This was the Harbinger of Darkness. As the smoke cleared, a tall, slender figure rose slowly from the ashes.
Clad in a long coat of darkest black, with a matching wide brimmed hat, his silk gloved hand clutched a long, menacing ivory cane, "Good evening, little fraulein," said the figure, the sadism palpable in his voice.
"W-what on Earth…?" muttered Hayase, just barely getting back on her feet.
"Oh zear…vhere unt mine manners? Allow me to introduce mineself. I, am Emmerich Herman of ze Gestapo," said the man, as his mouth curled into a twisted smile, "Now, zear fraulein, I care not about who you are. Vhat I care about, iz ze contents of your bag. Most particularly, ze two escapees from ze Garden of Stars."
"NO!" screamed one of the creatures, as she forced her way out of Hayase's bag, her white fur frazzled from the ordeal, "That man is evil! Fuu!"
"Really?" inquired Hayase.
"He's a Nazi, dumbass! Buu!" interjected the other creature from somewhere within the bag.
"You musn't give us to him! If you do, all is doomed! Fuu!" pleaded the white creature.
Hayase pondered for a moment before asking, "Wait, define 'all'. Like does that include me, or just you guys. Because if it's the latter, I guess I could live with that."
"By 'all' we mean the universe! Fuu!" yelled the white creature, her desperation now obvious.
"Hmm, that would kinda suck," concurred Hayase.
"Are you done, fraulein? Might I remind you, I vill not hesitate to kill you, if you zu not cooperate," threatened Herman, as he advanced menacingly towards the girl.
"Hey dumbass! Pick up the pace and RUN! Buu!" yelled the increasingly rude yellow creature.
And for reasons she herself will probably never figure out, Hayase did just that. Turning around, she bolted as fast as she could from the approaching Nazi.
Just down the street, Kaede was walking home, the frustration evident on her face as she was still being followed by one of her obsessive fans.
"Wow, Kaede-sama! Did I tell you that you were amazing at kendo practice this morning?" exclaimed the fangirl, her eyes nearly twinkling.
"Only about twenty times, Akane," sighed Kaede, not even looking at the source of her annoyance.
"Well, not even two hundred times would be sufficient to express how awesome you are!" continued Akane, clearly incapable of getting the hint.
Just as Kaede was about to respond, her eyes spotted a peculiar sight in the distance; a girl, one of her classmates in fact, running at full speed with a trench coated man in hot pursuit.
"GETOUTTATHEWAY!" yelled Hayase before crashing headfirst into Kaede.
Struggling to get up, Kaede berated the girl, "Ugh…hey! Watch where you-" before being interrupted as the shadow of Herman loomed over her.
"Hmm, onlookers vould complicate matters. No matter zhen, I vill simply have zu kill you as vell," declared Herman.
"Crap! Crap! Crap! Rapist!" thought Kaede. Her brain working in overdrive, she formulated a plan of escape; throw something at the man, and while he's distracted, run for it! Thus, she grabbed the most expandable object in hand, and flung it at Herman with all her might.
"Akane missile! GO!" Kaede yelled as she grabbed Akane by the arm and propelled her straight at Herman!
"Kaede-same touched me!" exclaimed Akane, but her triumph was short lived, as with but a flick of his hand, Herman summoned an unseen force that blew Akane off her feet, sending her tumbling down the street, out cold.
"I need better human shields," sighed Kaede.
"Enough of zis charade! Prepare to die!" yelled Herman, evil energy gathering within him.
"Fuupu! We don't have a choice anymore! We've gotta do it! Buu!" yelled the yellow creature in Hayase's bag.
"Ok, Buupu!" answered the white creature, "Hayase! I need you to do exactly as I say! Fuu!"
"Huh? How do you no my name? And why did you guys turn back into phones?" asked Hayase, holding the two devices.
"No time for that, Fuu! Just give one of us to that other girl, and we'll lead you from there! Fuu!"
Following the talking phone's orders, Hayase was just about to give the silver device to Kaede when she remembered that the yellow was more annoying, and opted to give her that one instead. Our protagonist, ladies and gentlemen!
"So Nazis and now talking phones. My life has jumped the shark," moaned Kaede as she examined her golden device.
"Ok, what now?" asked Hayase.
"Just follow your hearts, dumbass! Buu!"
As if by instinct, the girls clasped their hands together, the surprise evident on their faces, as they shouted in unison, "Dual souls ignite!"
The two girls were then enveloped in a brilliant flash as their school uniforms magically disappeared!
Hayase looked on in amazement as her body became clothed in a brilliant white dress, highlighted with silver and pale blue. Her skirt fluttered in the wind as a blue ribbon appeared out of thin air and tied itself onto her chest, completing the ensemble. In turn, the silver device attached itself firmly to her belt buckle.
Kaede went through much the same process, but instead of Hayase's white, silver and blue outfit, her's was a brilliant yellow, highlighted by deep red and gold. Similarly, her device hung tightly from her belt as well.
"The Glorious Sun that banishes the night! Cure Solar!" yelled Kaede, striking a pose which would have been cool if not for the sheer confusion on her face.
"The Shimmering Moon that ushers in the light! Cure Luna!" added Hayase, also striking a pose.
"Servants of Evil, harbingers of the night!" continued Kaede.
"You stand before the Brightest Light!" finished Hayase.
"What…the hell was that?" inquired Kaede, confusion still etched upon her face. In marked contrast to her, Hayase seemed far more enthusiastic regarding current events, "Awesome! I'm like a superhero! Ok then! HERE I COME!" she yelled as she charged towards her foe.
Clenching her fist as tight as she possibly could, Cure Luna swung directly at Herman's face, the power and impact of which…did absolutely nothing.
"So zis iz ze power of ze Legendary Warriors? Pathetic," muttered Herman as he flicked his hand, the force of which propelled Cure Luna into the pavement with great force.
"Oww…." Moaned Cure Luna, "Hey! What gives, I thought I'd have superpowers!" she protested.
"That's not how your Luna power works! Your power is supportive! You can create force fields to shield Cure Solar! Fuu!"
"Yeah! Leave the fighting to us! Buu!"
"Great. So do I punch him now?" asked Cure Solar, the apathy evident in her voice.
"BUU!"
"Here goes then…" muttered Solar as she leapt towards Herman and kicked him with full force. Unlike Luna's earlier efforts, this attack took Herman clean off his feat, knocking the wind out of him.
"Now! While he's down! Use your special attack! Buu!"
"Eh, might as well get it over with," said Solar, scratching her head.
Much like how they transformed earlier, the girls instinctively clasped their hands tightly together. Energy flowing through every orifice of their bodies, Cure Luna yelled, "Guiding light of the Moon! Become as a beacon in the dark!"
"Unending flames of the Sun! Usher in the New Day!" yelled Cure Solar.
As if by command, vast amounts of energy emanated from the two girls. The force creating a fierce gust of wind, keeping Herman off balance as he did all he could to avoid simply been blown away by the great power before him!
Slowly, Cure Solar's hands began to glow violently, as the nigh limitless energy began to gather within her! Now! The time had come! Pretty Cures' ultimate attack! The great power of the sun made manifest in human hands! The light which will banish all evils!
And it's name is!
It's name is!
It's name is!
It's name is!
IT'S NAME IS!
IT'S NAME IS!
"Pretty Cure! SOLARION BUSTER!" screamed Solar, as she blasted a beam of pure energy straight at Herman, the blast of which knocking her, Luna and the unconscious Akane away!
The power of the Solarion Buster was incalculable. Evil had finally been vanquish- No! What is this!
As the dust settled, the figure of the evil Emmerich Herman still stood, struggling as he grasped tightly onto his cane, "Ugh…s-so zis iz…ze power of P-Pretty Cure…" he mumbled, "…Y-you vin zis time, frauleins…b-but, vhen next v-ve meet…you vill not survive."
Struggling to stand up, Herman added one last threat, "Ve vill meet again fraulein…but for now, zhink of me vhen you look to ze night sky!" And with that, a lightning bolt struck Herman, and he vanished as quickly as he had appeared.
"Aww…I wanted to beat him up first!" pouted Hayase, "Eh, either way, that was cool! I wanna do it again!"
However, Hayase and Kaedes' moment of peace was short lived, as the gentle blue light of the moon suddenly turned a sickly red. Kaede and Hayase looked on in shock as a dreadful sign slowly materialized upon the face of the moon, its wickedness looming in the night sky.
Swastika!
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Ending: "Tsuyoki Mono Yo!"by True PreCure Impact! BttW Chapter!
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Next Episode Preview
HAYASE: Woo! We're superheroes now!
KAEDE: W-what the hell just happened?
HAYASE: Who cares! It was AWESOME!
KAEDE: Ugh, I've got a headache…and someone needs to do something about that Swastika moon.
HAYASE: Hey, who's that weird looking in the mask?
HAYASE & KAEDE: Next episode! "The Strongest Martial Art! Herr Mystico steps into the ring!"
KAEDE: Wait. Mystico? Oh dear god…
Author's Notes:
In regards to the opening song, it's meant to be sung to tune of the Big O opening theme, with these lyrics:
PreCure!
PreCure! PreCure! PreCure!
PreCure!
PreCure! PreCure! PreCure!
Balls to the wall, PreCure!
Beat up some Nazis!
Light the Sun and Moon, PreCure!
PreCure!
PreCure-e-e! PreCure!
PreCure!
PreCure!
PreCure!
PreCure!
