A/N: I said this before, but I'll say it again…I love this breathtaking series. I promised I'd write a longer fiction for it, and I'm actually in the process of doing that, but while that's happening, I thought it best to write a little one-shot.

I hope that you enjoy it.

Namesake

This is a fruitlessly silly practice, isn't it?

Maria, it's been so long, and things have changed. I wonder if your spirit can see those changes. I was thinking of you recently…pregnancy does that to a person. I was pondering of all of the important things in my life, unfortunately, most of those things dear to me are gone. I suppose that is merely the fact of life for those of us still fated to live on...even so, I have something I must tell you...

Maria, you once said that I was strong, that I could quickly recover from anything that troubled me. Honestly, I wish that was the case. The truth is, reflection is not something I am able to cope with. I wish it was easier for me to put the past behind me. Obligation, however, demands that I remain observant of all that I've learned.

Looking back, is the only way to keep my future safe.

My family…my daughter…I don't want her to be like we were in our youth. I don't want her to suffer needlessly, blindly, grasping onto every little truth she thinks she understands…I want her to be happy, and I want her to be blissfully unaware of the hell that can befall a village.

I leave you letters burned and traceless every year, wondering if maybe you can grasp onto the feelings that lay within them. Yet, this is probably the one letter that will not find you through flames. Even so, I hope you can understand why I feel a joyful as I do despondent. I hope, that maybe you can forgive me, and possibly help me forgive myself of any transgression I may have ever caused…I'm going to have a daughter, Maria. A baby girl.

I want her to be able to see this one day.

Still, my heart wishes you might find these words…that you might understand my feelings for you, even now. I know it may not seem like much, but those emotions have not faded. I doubt they ever will. Being pregnant, of course, comes with it's own set of troubles...anxieties that lead me to think of you, and Mamoru...and of course the child that the two of you were unable to raise.

She grew up beautiful, and if she could have been raised in the village, I have no doubt she would have had a happy life.

I day dream sometimes. I think it's therapeutic to wonder what our children might have been like…your daughter and mine….if, they would have been friends, just like we were…lovers, raised in the same group…

Maria, your name is the one thing I can never get out of my head, or my heart…I think of you so often, even now. I think of how your name slipped from my lips so easily…and, I try so hard to place when that first started.

When my feelings for you began.

It might have been on the grassy knoll, now that I think of it…the place that no none would look for us…it might have been by the sea, one of the places that you loved the most…it could have been in the forest, where acorns scattered the ground, and the rivers were full of wildlife to catch. It might have been in front of one of our houses, where we spent our days relaxing in the hot summer sun, or even the hill overlooking the rice fields.

Those are all memories I have…and those are all places where your name comes into my mind…sadly, memories are all I have of you anymore.

Truth be told though, I think the time I remember most, was the last time I kissed you. The time I held you, knowing I would never be able to feel your hair slip between my fingers ever again...it was the last time we made love…the last time I could ever feel the gentleness of your caress. I remembered that I breathed it then…afraid I lose you…knowing somehow, that if I turned my back you'd be gone.

I know now, that emotions are foolish things, and I'm not as strong as you believed. Even so, Maria, that's why I've decided to name my child after you…so that I have a reason to speak that name again…I know it sounds completely as if I've lost the soundness of my mind, but, even that's alright with me.

I hope, I pray, that my child can live out our dreams, for all of us.