Hey I'm going to ramble a little bit. This is my first fic for this year. And i'm so nervous. So sorry if my writing suck, the only essay i write now are for school and on my mid-year exam I wrote about Rachel Berry's life. I don't know what's wrong with me. Oh and I'm sad because I've been reblogging the Dianna Agron on saying goodbye video. I'm 16 now, I don't know why I just said that. They said 16 is an awesome age, I don't feel anything. I just want to cry and read faberry fics.
I'm still in love with the same person I've been in love with since I was 13. hmph. That suck.
And I'm sorry it's been so long since I update My wife is Getting Married. My dad sold my old computer where I saved all my stories. So it might take a while before I update it. I'm having a mid-year exam. I always update when I supposed to study. Okay sorry for the long ramble.
songs I used, you might want to listen to it;
Edge of Desire by John Mayer
Heartbeats (cover) by Ellie Goulding
It Is What It Is by Lifehouse
Distance by Christina Perri
The Lonely by Christina Perri
Same Mistakes by One Direction
You by The Pretty Reckless
Make You Feel My Love by Adele
Everything by Lifehouse
Open Your Eyes by Andrew Belle
enjoy guys. oh and i miss you reviewer, so make my wish come true by reviewing? mistakes are all mine.
Disclaimers: I own nothing, I'd love to own Glee cause then Faberry would happen, we get to see Brittana's sex tape and they'd sing Demi's songs.
It was dark. There was pitch of light beside the sofa. That's when you noticed your dad, with an alcohol in his hand, always drinking; you're not surprised he was drinking. He looked up at you and clenched his jaw. He nodded at the sofa next to his.
"Your mother told me that you're seeing someone. Someone you shouldn't be seeing," he started.
They're back together, much to your dismay. Your mom claimed that she can't live without his love and affection, when really she can't live without his money and she's addicted to him. You both argued when she told you he's coming back home. But at the end of the day, you're the kid, what can you do? Beside you won't be staying for too long.
You ran both hands on your hair, pulling it gently.
"If you want to be with her, then you need to leave. You need to get out from our life. I will not live with a satan,"
You looked up at that, he noticed.
"But I don't want you to leave. You're my daughter, Lucy. I don't want to lose you again. I love you. Beside, this is… a phase. She can't love you like a man love a woman. She can't give you true love. For God sake, you won't be able to give us grandchildren! She turns you. She turns you into this… disgusting lost girl. She's not a good person, Lucy. She's not,"
You looked down; your glittering hazel eyes were cold. You told yourself to speak out. You didn't though.
"She's a singer, right?"
You nodded as you bit your lips so the tears in your eyes won't fall.
"With that voice and that face, she'll be someone. Someone big,"
You furrowed your brows, not following.
"Her dreams are big, bigger than you, bigger than this town. Once she achieves it, she'll leave you. Why? Because she realizes that there's someone out there, a much better person. A person without a child at such a young age, maybe? She'll leave you if she's not stupid. And I saw her name on the ranking board at your school, for a sinner she's smart. She's very smart. And you're smart too. Think about it, Lucy Think about it,"
The tears you were holding finally fell down on the expensive carpet. You were shaking.
"And she won't care; she won't care because you're just her past. Someone she can look back to and laugh,"
You gripped your hands. They were red, you wanted to beat him. But you knew better.
"Tell you what, if you leave her, I'll pay for your college. Everything, I'll pay for everything. I know you've been saving, but let be honest here, with those money you can't even afford a crappy apartment. Leave her, and I'll pay for everything, the fee, I'll buy you an apartment, anything you want. Just leave her," was his last word before he finished the rum in his hand in one breath.
You stayed there for couple of minutes before you went up to your room. You sat on the bed, cell phone in your hand. You looked at the screen. You smiled. You opened up the message.
R: Hey baby! Just want to tell you that I'd an amazing time tonight. Thank you. Oh and no I am not short, stop calling me that. My BMI maybe not normal, but I can assure you that there's someone who's shorter than me. Take Sunshine for an example, but she's an Asian. Oh, how about America Ferrera! She's older than me, you know. Well, see you tomorrow, okay? I love you, Quinn. With all my heart, I do.
RBB*
You wanted to yell as loud as you can. You want to beat your father. You wanted to yell at your mom for being stupid. You wanted to rip the money. You wanted to hurt yourself because you didn't save money for college. You wanted to hurt yourself for believing that your father will support you no matter what. You wanted to do everything and yet all you did was you cried, because you're weak.
You decided to leave her the next day. You've been thinking about it. You really do need the money. Her dads had been saving money for her study. So yes, you were going to break up with her the next day.
"You're late, Quinn! You know how important punctuality is for me. Yes, you're only 30 minutes late but you still are late. I managed to prepare breakfast for my dads, that's how late you are. Talking about breakfast, I made you some eggs and bacon stripes. I don't know why you like that so much because I prefer if you don't eat those poor little pigs but I can't force you," she said in one breath. That still amazed you. You stared at her; you gave her a weak smile.
"W-We need to talk," you started. She looked at you and smiled.
"Of course! But first let have some breakfast okay? I'm quite hungry right now; I made myself some apple pancakes. I'm going to be honest it looks quite delicious. You can taste some but I'm sure you're not going to since you have that bacon…." She kept on rambling. You just stared at her butt, your cheeks redden.
She was sitting in front of you, eating her breakfast. You played with your food.
"Quinn! Stop playing with your food! I'd done such a hard job cooking those poor pigs and now you're not going to eat it? That's sound wrong. But please Quinn, eat your breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day. If you did not take your breakfast, how can your brain function? Now I'm worried what you'll eat for breakfast when we're in college. I'm not always going to be around. I will make sure you will eat your breakfast though, everyday…"
You looked at her.
"Wait. You still want to be with me after we graduate?"
"That's such a silly question, Quinn! Of course I still want to be with you,"
"Even with the distance?"
"Quinn distance doesn't matter. Beside it's only 82 miles. Yes, I did check it. Did you not watch the video about the long distance relationship? The boyfriend is from Singapore and his girlfriend is from Sweden. That's over 5000 miles, Quinn! And they're still together! It's very touching and moving, Quinn. We can do this, Quinn," she replied.
"Don't you think so?" she asked. You smiled, wide. You stood up and instead of answering her, you kissed her.
Her dads bought an apartment for both of you for graduation present. You moved to New York to continue to study psychology. You also moved to New York because you can't live without her. So you moved to New York, your parents disowned you, although your mom sent you letters saying how she missed you and that she'll love you no matter what. They disowned you, but it's okay because Hiram and Leroy Berry were there for you.
It was your fifth anniversary when you propose. You planned to propose to her at the park where you guys always go, because it's beautiful at night. But then you saw her as she lay next to you, head on your shoulder and her bare chest on your arms. She was sleeping peacefully, her bangs covered her eyes and her full lip was red. You stroked her cheek gracefully. When she opened her eyes, your heart started to beat faster.
"Marry me," it wasn't a question.
"Excuse me?" she asked as her eyes widen. You got on top of her.
"Marry me, Rachel. I know this isn't romantic but just seeing you beside me, holding me as you sleep, there's… there's no other sight I want to wake up to for the rest of my life. I want to wake up next to you every day, kiss you every morning, every seconds of my life. I just want you, I love you, Rachel Barbra Berry, and I want you to be my wife. So marry me. Make me the happiest person on earth right now," she stared at you. Your tears and hers mixed together on her cheeks.
"Rachel?" you called.
She kissed you, it felt different. Not bad, but better.
"Yes! Yes! Of course I will, Quinn!" she yelled and then you both laughed.
You both spent half of the day in bed.
Your dad died. It was 3 in the morning and your mom was sobbing as she talked to you on the phone. You just sat on the edge of the bed as you listened to your mother, your other hand on your forehead. Rachel woke up and wrapped her arms around your waist, her head on your back. You felt damp on your back, and her fingers caressed your cheek, that's when you realized that you were crying. After you put down the phone, she whispered plenty of stuffs in your ears.
"I'm so sorry, Quinn"
"I love you. I'll always be here for you, baby"
"I'm sorry,"
"It's okay. Its fine, it's okay. You're going to be okay"
You're not okay. Your dad died hating you. Your dad died with disappointment. Your dad died because of you. You're not okay.
You stood up, pushed her and walked away.
You took a walk; you lit up your cigarette. It was cold, you had your sweatshirt and your sweat on but it was still cold. You didn't stop though, you just kept walking. Your phone kept vibrating, it was Rachel. You ignored it. You just sat down on the bench somewhere in New York as you stared at the cities on front of you. It reminded you of Rachel, and then it reminded you of home. You ran, you ran home and wrapped your arms around her as you cried and she held you all night.
Almost everyone in Lima was there. Your sister was there with her husband. Your family stared at you with hatred. Rachel held your hand throughout the entire event. Even the Glee club was there. Your mom, your sister, your grandparents, even his co-workers got to made a speech. You didn't. But it's okay, because you have nothing to say.
You stayed after everyone leave. You stared at his coffin. You walked to his coffin and stared at him. His face was pale, his lip was blue. You brushed his hair and caressed his cheek. You kissed his forehead. There were tears on his face, your tears.
Even though he didn't think of your as his daughter, he's still your dad. He wasn't the best dad out there but he was your dad. He was there when you ride your first bike, he was there for your first cheerleading competition, and he was there when you needed him. He was your dad for a while. It wasn't enough but he was there in your life. You just wished he could accept who you are and that you could dance with him at your wedding.
"I love you, daddy" was the last words you whispered to his ear before you walked out of the church.
You were nervous, very nervous. But you felt excited too. You stared at the white dress in front of you. Santana was on the bed, watching the TV. You guys were at your house, your mom decided that she didn't care who you love, and she just wanted you in her life. She'll love you no matter what, she said. You spent the entire day with her, crying of joy.
"Stop staring at your dress, you're getting a hole on it,"
"I'm so nervous. What if she says no?"
"What the… you asked her to marry you, dumbass. Of course she's going to say yes. Unless she doesn't know she's getting married tomorrow cause' you decided to surprise her. Now that's just fucked up."
"What if she realize there's so much better for her out there?"
"Ay dios mio. Q, she won a fucking Tony and a Grammy. She achieves her fucking dream. Now I bet her dream's to be with you. Gosh you guys are gross,"
You looked at her.
"You rent an entire amusement park to propose to Brittany. You're gross, San."
"No, I'm romantic, that's what I am. And I got laid that night, so joke on you, Fabray,"
"I got laid the day I proposed to. 5 times,"
Santana gagged, you rolled your eyes.
"It'll be fine," Santana said softly before she walked out the door.
Q: I miss you so much. Wish you're here beside me so we can cuddle *sadface*. I love you, Rach. I can't wait for tomorrow. Sleep tight, baby.
Love, your future wife.
R: Aww… I miss you too, baby! Wish you were here too. BUT we can cuddle for the rest of our life starting from tomorrow. I love you, Quinn. And I wish you sweet dream. Oh and make sure to remind Santana to bring our ring. She's my friend, but you know what I meant. And do not drink coffee tomorrow, I do not care if you cannot live without caffeine for a day, you will stain your dress. Good night, Quinn!
Love, your future wife *
You smiled and closed your eyes.
You found a box, under your old bed. It was your old box where you used to put postcards all over the country you visited with your family. You had an urged to open it, and so you did.
You found a folded paper.
Lucy my dearest,
You're my baby girl. You've always been my baby girl. I know I had done so many things towards you, and I'm truly sorry for that. But I'm not sorry for not agreeing on your relationship with her. It's wrong, Lucy. I did it because I love you. I forgive you for giving your innocence before your marriage. But I will never forgive you for loving a girl. It's not normal, Lucy. It's not and it will never be okay no matter what the government said. You're just confused, that's fine, honey. Just remember to get back on the right path.
Remember that moment where you wanted a bike? And I taught you to ride it. You fell and cut your knee. You were crying but not because it hurts, you told me you're a strong girl. But you cried because you taught you disappoint me. But you never did. Until the day your mother told me you're in love with a girl. You disappoint me this time. Where's Lucy Quinn Fabray, the girl who wanted to be a real estate agent just like me, the girl who wanted to make me proud by joining the cheerleading team, the girl who watched football with me, where's Quinn Fabray, my daughter? She took you away from me.
I'm sick, Lucy. I'm sick. And I know I don't have much more time. And I'm okay with that because I did my job. But Lucy, I'm begging you not to do this. Stop it. You're hurting me. I want to go, with you by my side; I want you to be there and in order to do that you need to stop seeing her. You know who else you're going to hurt? Her. Why? Because you and me? We're the same person. I cheated on your mother again. I've been cheating on her for years. And yet she still forgives me. But I cheated on her again, because it's me. I can't change that. Once a cheater, always a cheater, they said.
Did you know that I used to beat your mother more than once? I did. Sometimes I was drunk, sometimes I was just angry. Your mother begged me to stop but I can't. The power in me just took over my body. It felt good, and then it felt bad. Your mother, she's weak. She asked me to stop, she cried but she's weak. And I can see that girl; she's like your mother, maybe even weaker. And most of all, I see me in you.
You're going to hurt her. Do you want that? Won't it kill you? When I first cheated on your mother, it killed me. I felt guilty and sick. But the more I did it, the natural it gets. One day you're going to wake up and not care about it anymore. When your mother found it, it killed me because I love your mother with my whole heart. But I just can't stop. Do you want that for her? Do you want her to go through what your mother been through?
Think about it, Lucy. I'm begging you, think about it. You're a smart girl. Don't disappoint me.
I love you, Lucy.
Love,
Daddy.
You cried, you screamed. You threw the pillow on the wall. You fell down the floor, crying. You heard a knock on the door. You quickly changed your clothes.
"Quinn?" Santana yelled as she knocked on the door.
"Quinn? Open this fucking door, Q! Are you okay?"
You opened up the door. She looked at you, eyes widen.
"What's wrong? And why aren't you in your dress? You're getting married in an hour, Q!"
You pulled her in and sat her on the bed. She looked confused. You paced back and forth before you packed your bag.
"No. No. No no no no. Oh no! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She yelled and stood up. She pushed you and threw the bag. She noticed the dress and picked it up. She threw it at you.
"Put it on, now. I know you're nervous and you should be but don't do this. You love her, Quinn. I know you do. So don't do this. This kind of love doesn't come easily. You're gonna regret it if you do this, trust me."
Your eyes were closed when you picked up the dress beside you. You thought about what she said to you. But then you dad's words kept popping in your mind, covering her words. You shook your head.
She looked at you. Her eyes were telling you something, you ignored it. She was crying, you were shocked, you didn't know she could cry for something that doesn't involve her. She's begging you. She's looking in your eyes. She even showed you the ring.
"She looks beautiful, so excited," she pulled out her phone and showed you a picture of Rachel in her white wedding dress, smiling while Brittany was fixing her hair. She looked beautiful, breathtaking. But then your dad's face came into your mind.
You looked up at Santana and shook your head. I'm sorry, you mouthed. She looked like she was going to cry, her eyes were red, maybe from anger and sadness. But that didn't stop you; you packed your bag and walked to the door.
"You're going to regret this, Quinn." Was her words, you didn't turn around, instead you just walked out of the room. When you got to your car, you looked up at your room. She was staring at you, you saw her looked down and stared in your eyes. Again, begging.
You drove away.
Everyone was sitting on their chair, eyeing the beautiful view in front of them.
Santana stood in front of the aisle. She asked Brittany to call Rachel. Everyone was whispering and looking around. Kurt looked panic. Rachel came in, she looked panic herself. Santana, she called. What's wrong, where's Quinn, she asked. Santana looked around, her mind went blank. She didn't know what to say.
Santana? What happen? Where's Quinn? Is she okay?
Too many questions, and she have no answer for any of them.
She looked at Rachel again. She opened her mouth, and then she closed it again. Her eyes were blurry, tears started to fell down her cheeks. Instead of saying any word, she shook her head. She shook her head slowly.
Rachel stared at her, she was shaking her head. No, she said. No. Santana closed her eyes, when she opened it again, Rachel fell down Brittany's arms. She was crying, screaming, gasping for air. Her dads, Kurt and Brittany tried to calm her down. Puck stared at her. Mercedes was holding Sam's hand, crying. Sam and Finn looked shocked. Artie shook his head, Mike was holding Tina. Judy Fabray looked down.
Kurt held her with soothing words, Brittany just held her hand. Hiram was crying behind her, Leroy was calming him down, even though he, himself was crying. Mercedes and Sam held each other. Puck was on his phone, his face reddens. Finn just kicked the chair and walk away.
Judy walked towards her. Rachel, she called. Rachel kept on crying. I'm so sorry, she whispered as she sat down next to her. I'm so sorry, she repeated. Rachel shook her head and asked everyone to leave her alone.
They leave her alone as she requested.
Except for one girl.
Santana sat down next to Rachel. She turned her head to Rachel. She took Rachel hand and held it. Rachel immediately cried in her arms.
There was no sound except for both of their breaths and Rachel's silent tears. There was no sound but Rachel knew what Santana was trying to say.
I'm so sorry. She didn't say it but Rachel knew.
It's been two months since you left her and yet you're still hurting. You tried not to think of her because you know she's hurting. You know she's hurting and yet you do nothing about it. You cried, every single day, sometimes you regret it but then you realized that what you did was for the best. It's better for her to be hurt now than later.
They called, but you never pick up. Puck was the first one who called you. He just begged you to come back; you know he cares about Rachel too much. Your mom called you almost every single day. She's not mad, just disappointed and embarrassed for what you've done. Somehow that hurt you more. Leroy said what you did was stupid and that you're going to regret for hurting his daughter, future star that millions of people would kill to date. You agreed. Brittany just cried in her messages and said that she felt pity for Rachel and that Rachel loves you. Kurt and Santana left hateful messages. Kurt gave up after a week but Santana didn't stop. She kept on leaving hateful messages until one day she said something that made the glass in your hand shattered.
"She's getting married. She's getting married, Quinn. You know how fuck up is this? She's getting married because they have to pay for the wedding that you were supposed to pay. They can't afford it. You know who can though? Ashley. Ashley White. That girl from NYADA. They're getting married this Sunday. I don't know why I even bother telling you, you obviously don't care about her. Maybe they're meant to be. At least Ashley would never do what you did to her,"
You called her immediately after you got the message. She picked up after one ring.
"Hello?"
"Oh cut the bullshit. I know why you call. I just told you because I thought you deserve to know,"
"You were telling the truth?"
"I wouldn't lie about something like that. You know how fucked up you are? She was miserable. She lost so many weights. She barely even eat, the only thing she did was locked in her room and cried about how she missed you. It's pathetic; you don't deserve her tears,"
"… how-is-um-how is she?"
"Oh my God. Seriously? You're asking that?"
"Please… please answer me,"
"She's… getting better. Yesterday she smiled when Ashley rent an entire cinema so that they can be alone. She was still smiling when she got back home, it wasn't a big smile, but that's the first time she smile after… you know,"
"They're really getting married?" you asked, voice shaking.
"Yeah. Hiram, Leroy and Rachel can't afford to pay the dress, the event, the foods and they have to give back the presents. Ashley wanted to pay for it, and Hiram thought she should marry her to thank her or something,"
"She's been waiting for Rachel you know? Since day one she saw Rachel in NYADA. She must be fucking happy right now,"
Santana laughed, bitterly.
"She should be. She's getting married to the girl of her dream. She deserves it. She wanted to pay for everything without asking for anything! That's how big her love for Rachel is. All you did was hurt her,"
You paused for a sec.
"You know what really fucked up though? She still cries for you. Every single night. Nobody can do anything. Why did you do it, Q? At least give her an explanation. She deserves that,"
"I… I can't," your voice cracked.
"You loved her right?"
"I still do. I love her. Nothing change,"
"Then why did you do it?"
"My dad…"
"What's wrong with him?"
"H—He left me a letter asking me to leave her,"
"That's… that's so stupid, Q. He's gone. He can't stop you for loving someone he can't accept,"
"It's not that. It's.."
"What?"
You wiped your tears.
"What, Q?"
"He told me that we're the same person. He and I, we're the same person. He cheated on my mom for so many times, he'd beaten my mom, and he's an alcoholic. He's right, we're the same person cause' I cheated on Finn and Sam. And I'm becoming an alcoholic. I drink every day. I'll hurt her, San. I don't want that to happen to her. I don't want her to go through what my mom had been through,"
"You're hurting her, Quinn," she said, softly. She'll never confess this but she cares about Rachel, you like it.
"But I'll hurt her more if I become my dad. At least she's going to forget me,"
"She'll never forget you,"
You sighed.
"Have you ever cheated on her?"
"No! I would never do that to her,"
"Then what are you so scared of?"
"I might be one day, who knows?"
"You cheated on Finn and Sam because you don't love them enough to stay. But you love her enough,"
"What if I become my dad?"
"You won't. I can assure that,"
"Do—do you want me to come back?"
"I don't know. Part of me wants you to come back but the other part of me wants you to stay away from her,"
"I love her, San. I love her so much,"
"I know,"
"I'm coming back,"
"I know,"
"I'm going to ask her to be mine again,"
"I know,"
"I love you, San. Thank you,"
She hung up. You can't believe what you just said, but you meant it.
You were pissed, really pissed. And you wanted to punch her so hard. You wanted to punch— you looked at her name tag— Alicia. You wanted to punch Alicia.
"There's no other way? Please I need to be in Ohio as soon as possible," you begged. She sighed.
"Miss, how many times do I have to tell you that the flight to Ohio leaves at 9:00 tomorrow morning,"
"But I need it today! In fact I need it now!"
"I can't help you with that okay, miss? How about you just book the ticket now, and leave tomorrow?"
"NO! I need it now! Don't you understand me?" you yelled.
"I'm sorry but I can't help you with that,"
"Other flight?" you asked.
"The weather are quite bad, miss. All of the flights are delay for tomorrow. I'll book you the ticket now okay?"
"God damn it!" I smacked the counter and walked away.
You drove to the gas station to get yourself some drinks and gas for your car. It was frustrating, it's already Saturday. You won't make it.
"80 on the fuel," you told the blonde kid behind the counter. "That too?" he pointed at the 6 pack of redbulls, I just nodded.
"That'd be 92.35 dollars," you handed him the money. "Um do you happen to know how long it'll take to drive from here to Ohio?"
He cringed.
"Maybe about 10 hours?" Oh Lord.
"How far is it?"
"I don't know. I could check right now, if you want to,"
"Thanks,"
He took a while before he gave you the answer.
"About 500 miles away," you nodded and thanked him.
You turned on the radio. Breakeven was on, mocking you. You huffed, turned the radio off and put your ipod on shuffle. At the red light, you took a sip of your drink. Your back was killing you, but you didn't stop. You couldn't stop, you whispered to yourself. You really hate traffic light.
Your stomach was making noises. You wanted to stop and maybe just get some snacks, but looking at the clock, you decided against it. It was already dark. You won't make it there, the devil inside of you whispered. But you kept picturing Rachel's face, and that kept you moving.
It was raining heavily. That Alicia wasn't kidding when she said the weather's bad. You glanced at the clock, you wondered if you have time to stop and rest your eyes. You decided not to.
You barely see the road, the sound of the storm block other sounds around you and its very cold. The heater was broken, Rachel told you almost every day to fix it, and you didn't do anything about it. Why didn't you listen to her? After you asked yourself that question many more came into your mind. Why didn't you stay? Why did you run away? Why aren't you strong? Don't you love her? Your head hurt. You were hitting your head on the steering wheel and closed your eyes for few seconds when you heard a shrieking noise and car honking. You immediately open your eyes, turned left and stop your car.
You were breathing heavily. Images started to come into your mind. Images of you underneath your car, bloods all over you, a wreck silver truck, you reaching for your phone. Last but not least, Rachel's face, smiling widely. You gasped for air. You got of your car and leaned against your car. Your body was soaking but you didn't mind. It felt good, actually.
When you saw the 'Welcome to Lima, Ohio' sign, you smiled. You made it. After you almost get hit by a car (again) last night, you stopped to rest your eyes for a moment. You overslept and you cursed yourself for doing so, but its okay, you made it. Rachel's going to be yours again.
You arrived at the Berry's house but there was no one around. You heart started to beat faster. You called Santana.
"What?" she snapped.
"Where is it?" she sighed.
"What?"
"Where's the damn wedding? Are you fucking with me?"
"You…you're here?"
"Where, San?" you asked, weakly.
"Maybe… you shouldn't come,"
"Please," you begged.
"It's at the Lima Community Church,"
"Church? Seriously?"
"Well she couldn't get married at her house where you left her," you clenched your jaw. You deserve that.
"Thanks, San," you hung up and drove to the Lima Community College. Crowded of people were gathering at the front of the church. You couldn't walk in through front door; people will kill you besides you looked like shit. The backdoor was the only option.
"Hello?" you half yelled as you looked around.
"Quinn?" That voice. That voice that you know so well. You missed that voice and yet you were afraid to turn around. When you did, you saw her. In her white wedding dress, she looked like an angel. Sometimes I think she is an angel, she's too beautiful to be a human.
"Rach," you called. All the words you've been thinking disappear.
"Rachel. Hey. Baby, let—let's get out of here okay?" You took her hand in yours.
She pulled away; you know she noticed how hurt you were cause' she looked down.
"No. Wh—what are you doing here? And what happen to you?"
"To save you from marrying someone else, what else? Come on, let's go. We don't have much time. Come!"
"No, Quinn. You can't do this," you looked at her, your eyes searching for hers. She kept glancing at the floor. You tilted her chin.
"Why? I love you, Rachel. I love you so much. I know what I did was stupid but I promise you I'd never repeat my mistake again. I promise you that I'll never leave you again. I screwed up but I still love you. I know you still love me too, I can see it in your eyes," her eyes were teary, yours too.
"Quinn—"
"Rach, I drove over 500 miles for over 10 hours, I almost got hit by a car and my back is killing me. I remembered my grandma told me once that if it's true love, then it's worth to fight for. And you're my true love. My one and only," you wiped her tears.
"Do you remember our first kiss? Wasn't it beautiful? It was very beautiful to me. Remember the moment I told you that I love you for the first time? I don't ever want to live a day without telling you that I love you. Remember when I told you I want to wake up next to you every day for the rest of my life? I still want that, I can't imagine life without you, Rachel. You are my life," you took a deep breath.
"And when I did what I did, I realize I was so stupid for doing so. I need you, Rach. Only you. Come on, let's go. Let's start a new life, build a new home, have children of our own, anything you want," you stroked her face.
"Quinn," she started.
"She can't love you like I do, no one can," I cut her off.
"She loves me. She's been then for me when I need someone. She made me smile when I'm sad, she held me in her arms at night when I'm alone. She loves me. She loves me even though she knows I still love you, even though she knows I'll never love someone as much as I love you. I know this is a rude thing to say, but I don't deserve this. You don't deserve my love, Quinn"
You don't know what to say. You just stood there as she continues to stroke your cheeks. You cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead.
"I can change! Promise you I will!" she smiled. It's a bitter smile.
"Stop promising such a thing, Quinn,"
"Give me a chance, Rach. I can't live without you,"
She shook her head, crying heavily.
"Do you love me?"
She looked up at that.
"Yes," you smiled.
"But I don't want to love you. Not anymore. I want to love her," you let go of her and punch the wall, you saw her cringed. But you kept pulling your hair.
"Why, Rachel? Why! Why don't you want to love me!" you yelled at her face.
"Cause' I'm married, Quinn! I'm married! That's why I don't want and can't love you. Cause' I'm married!" she yelled back. You stared at her face, tears rolled down on your cheeks.
"You're… you're married?"
She nodded her head, slowly.
"You're married," you repeated.
"Why are you here then?" you asked, you were sure she was lying.
"I told Ashley I left my phone. We're leaving to Paris tonight,"
"I'm sorry, Quinn. But it's over. We're over. You left me, you hurt me. Nothing you can do that can ever lead me back to you. Nothing. You left me without any explanation, you just walked away. On our wedding day! You left me with nothing but embarrassment. You left me nothing but a broken heart and you expect me to come back to you?" she snapped, you just stared at her; at her big brown Bambi eyes and her thick lip. You wish your mind was a camera, so you can capture this, her in your head forever, her in her white wedding dress and her wet face. Breathtaking.
"I love you, I'll never stop but we're not meant to be together. I'm sorry, I love you so much but she's my soul mate," she stroked your face with both of her hand. "Move on. You'll find someone better than me. Let the fate do its job. You're beautiful, still the most beautiful girl I ever seen, you'll find someone new, I promise," She said, her voice cracked.
"I left your stuffs in my room. You should take it back. I don't want Ashley to see it. You know where the keys are,"
"But—"
She stood up and pressed her lip against mine. We didn't move our lips. It was a soft kiss. A goodbye kiss. You wondered how in the world can a simple, innocent kiss could be an amazing kiss. Maybe it was because of her. You held her face, she held yours. When you both pulled away, she wiped the tears on your face. She hugged me and whispered something in my ears that I vow I will never forget till the day I die.
"I love you, Lucy Quinn Fabray. I will always do," I closed my eyes as I kissed her forehead.
"And I love you, Rachel Barbra Berry. I will always do. I'll never meet someone like you and love someone like I love you," both of you heard the door. It was Ashley. She was smiling, but her smile faded as she saw us. You let go of her.
"I was congratulating her," you lied. You know deep in her heart she didn't believe that, but she sent you a small smile. Rachel walked to her and took her hand. Ashley wiped her tears and asked her if she's okay, she gave her a nodded and then they both walked away together. Rachel looked at you and then she looked at Ashley; her wife. She smiled at her and they both leave you alone.
You walked into her room. Nothing change, except there was nothing on her notice board and no picture of you were seen. You saw a box on the bed written 'R+Q stuffs'. You kneeled on the floor and look through the box. There were pictures of you and her, pictures of you, letters you sent her, the birthday presents you gave, there was a mug with Stitch and Angel on it, and you gave it to her for the first month anniversary. There were plenty of movie tickets; there were your clothes, your make up, the drawing you gave her, the poems you gave and the ipod with songs that you put. And then you saw it.
The ring you gave to her when you asked her to marry you.
That was the moment you cried, it wasn't loud. It was a quiet cry, almost no sound. But it hurt so bad that you felt like you wanted to vomit.
You don't know what to do with your life but that was the last time you ever chase for love. You never stop loving her, you don't want to. It was beautiful what you both had. She asked you to move on, to find someone better. You know you'll never will. You don't want to find love again, if it's time for you to move on, so be it. But you're not going to search for it.
She's happy with her wife. They just celebrated their first anniversary. Although it hurts so badly, you're happy. You're happy that someone's taking care of her. No, no one can love her like you do, but that's fine. That's enough.
Seeing her happy is enough to make you happy.
the end. oh and sharmen, yes. always.
review guys? make my day. exam suck.
to you,
i miss you. i wish i could hold you in my arms and tell you how much you mean to me. this is for you.
i love you and i'll always do.
