Hinamori doesn't think being dead is fun at all. At least not anymore.

Being stuck in a hospital room all day every day does not excite her, if it could excite anyone. She can feel herself weakening, and not just in kidou which, she had to admit, she held highly. And though she was never truly strong, she was never truly weak either. However, she is powerless on the clean white bed beside her zanpakutou.

Tobiume, her zanpakutou, does not say anything to her anymore. Even its presence seems far away. Tobiume was never very sociable in the first place, but Hinamori felt comfort in knowing the warm strength of will within her sword was safely tucked away in her sheath. In turn, Tobiume always searched her, turning any desire in her soul into an iron strong resolve. She likes her zanpakutou for this, but feels an ever growing fear of it for its continuous silence.

(And one day it might decide to break on her, because it may realize she is full of false wishes that can never grow into anything.)

And there is Hitsugaya-kun too. He hasn't spoken to her in a while. Occasionally, she feels his reiatsu near her, but it is never close enough to reach out and talk. She doesn't quite remember the last time they talked, but she remembers he wanted her to get better. Yet, she also remembers that he told a lie; the fact which she decides to bury in the back of her mind.

(Another day he might come and snap at her because even dragons have a limit. And that day she might scream at him all the most hurtful things she can think of so if they part, his green green eyes would hold more sadness than hers.)

People Hinamori does she regularly are the various seated officers of the 5th division. They bring mission summaries and such to her so that when she 'recovers', she'll know what was going on in the division. Sometimes they bring little gifts like candy to cheer her up. They always smile and laugh for her so she does the same for them.

(One by one though, they might stop coming because even though it is their duty, they might grow so tired of waiting for her. But by that time, she might not mind so much.)

Some of the captains visit her too. Unohana-taichou visits the most because she runs the 4th division. Ukitake-taichou visits her mostly because he feels it necessary in order for him to further assist Hitsugaya-kun. On rare occasions, Yamamoto-soutaichou comes to visit her. However, whether it be snacks, medicine, or information they give to her, they always do the same thing: go over the 'facts' whose presence seems to have consumed Soul Society. Momo wants to be a good patient/subordinate so she listens to them every single time they come.

(Nevertheless, one day she might just tell them to stop fucking drilling them into her head because no matter how many times they go over them, some things will just stay out.)

The one person she never ever sees though is Aizen-taichou. She desperately wants to see him, to talk to him. She remembers what he did but she wants a reason. Hinamori believes thing happen for a reason. She has never given up hope that everything happens on logical grounds. Even now, since she can't seem to get his face expression right in her memories, deep inside she secretly hopes that he looked sad. And she wants to meet him again so badly but she is afraid too because he might actually be what they say he is.

(And on her last day as Hinamori Momo, she might do his last bidding as a believer and maybe scream in anguish should his smile turn into a satisfied smirk as she curses him until her throat becomes raw.)

So that is why being dead is not fun for Hinamori anymore: being dead brings so many problems she might have done without should she have been alive.


A/N: style inspired by fic found on site.

Just thought I'd try it out. It seemed interesting to do. It's post-arrancar arc.