Tedious Legal Disclaimer: I don't own FF8. Well... neither do you (unless you're Squaresoft)! So :P

Note: This fanfic is an experiment. Tell me what you think. Be nitty gritty and overall.


"And all you really need
Is everything you could never be
And so you'd give it all
For a miracle..."
- Vertical Horizon


Quistis watched the Garden flicker as she leaned against the wall of the Secret Area. The young couples have been gone for hours, leaving her alone to think. It was fair enough though- she had yearned to be by herself for a little while. When leering the Garden began to become overwhelming, she tilted her chin up and glanced at stars.

If I was to be lost in those stars, would anyone bother to search for me? Even if it wasn't a lover, could it be a friend to rescue me?

The instructor shook her head. She didn't really have a close friend either. Everyone was so warped and involved with each other, that she was often left in the shadows. It hardly annoyed her after a while.

Who cares if I feel resented? I don't even care anymore. There's no point when everyone around is too messed up with their own issues.

I'm the strong one. I've always been. Or at least for as far back as I could remember.

What about before? Who was I then? What if I truly don't want to know?

A pain ran through her body, followed by an icy chill shooting up her spine. Her mind must be repressing memories for a purpose. The purpose to forget. It must had been painful though, because it still ached. It couldn't be only the guardian forces, because no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remember the orphanage as well as the others. Most of it seemed like blurry images that made very little sense at all.

The only image she could identify was him. And it was too late. She already lost that.

Quistis started to head back out of the training center, when a pair of T-Rexuars attacked. It all happened so quickly, she had so little time to react before a blow was made.

Blood dripped from her cheek and face, and seeped into the soil. She grabbed her whip, and braced herself for another offense.

This would be such an easy way out, her guilty conscience nagged.

Her stomach turned. The suggestion was meant for a coward. And rage filled her veins for even having it enter her mind.

I have to be strong. If there is a point to all this, it would be such a waste if I just gave it up so effortlessly.

Quistis felt the adrenaline flow through her like a fire. She whipped her weapon rapidly and one fell to her feet, nearly crushing her. Soon the other one fell, too injured to defend itself any longer.

Quistis saw it's eyes. They seemed so terrified, so powerless. It watched it, awaiting it's own doom. It didn't try to plead for mercy. It didn't expect it. Perhaps it didn't want it. A scared creature, like a child. Like the same boy she saw grieving for his sister. The same being she wanted more than anything to protect.

So she just walked away.



Zell hit the punching bag one more time before he gave it a rest. It was a shame really. He almost was convinced he had a chance.

" So she likes Squall..." he slumped down against the wall of his bedroom. " Freaking unbelievable."

Not really. Everybody loved Squall. Everyone loved Irvine too. I'm just a pathetic sidekick. That short amusing guy. The chicken wuss.

Zell chuckled to himself. Even Seifer in all the trouble he buried himself in, would still look down at him. Nothing had actually changed. It still seemed they were lost little children.

Squall became a hero. Reluctant, but that was his fate. He discovered his past while everyone else was still blind. He was much happier, but still had the tendency to act all gloomy.

But that's not exactly why you're so upset though, is it Zell? Zell, it happened again, didn't it? It was bound to end this way. The girl you set your wishes on was hopelessly mesmerized, by someone who would never want her, like some pathetic fan.

She didn't deserve it. She was a sweet girl.

Squall couldn't be blamed for this. He didn't even know who she was. He loved Rinoa. And if it wasn't Squall, it'd be some other stud of the month. Like Irvine. Even Nida would win her over before I ever could.

It really was a shame. Just pitiful.



Fujin wrapped her flowing robe tighter as she stepped daintily onto the balcony. She took off her eyepatch and dropped it without care. Her left eye, sore from the usual darkness, revealed a tiny vertical scar across it. The silky cloth of fading crimson and lilac was brushed back by the soft breeze, and for a short moment, she felt beautiful.

The moon shone down on her face. Any normal night, she would watch to silvery orb in awe. Especially over the ocean like this.

But now, all she wanted to do, was damn it to hell. To condemn it for what it brought to the oblivious and naive world below. For taking away what she needed right then. What she always needed.

" Where are you now?" she whispered, knowing he wouldn't hear her silent plea. He had left the inn this morning. Saying he had to be alone for a while. He had never been so serious before.

The speech she made at the Lunatic Pandora flooded back into her mind again. It refused to go away, always reminding her of abandoning him. He had consoled her, telling her not to worry about it, but it ached in sorrow when he walked out that door.

I had to do it. He wasn't himself anymore. I didn't want to help destroy him. Why do I always fail?! As a friend, as a lover.

Fujin collasped down onto the cold floor and began to sob.


Am I the only one to cry for him? To mourn because he wasn't there? I doubt anyone else would feel this grief as much as me. I watched him grow. His secrets, his dreams, were imprinted into my mind. I was a witness to what he became.

Why was it all taken away like this? I can't be the only one to shed these tears. I need him to come back. He thinks he failed the posse. He said he let me down ever since the beginning of this mess, but I don't think so. I just wish he didn't leave.

She lowered her hands and looked up. These emotions of sorrow were too overwhelming. After all she had been through, this hurt her the most. A new scar to hide.

" Bring him back," Fujin whispered to the pale moon. " Please... I beg you. Why couldn't he dream of something else instead?"

Now he's broken.



The cold breeze resisted him as he walked swiftly through the fields. His weapon hung on his side, and it's cold steel blade appeared to try to comfort him. He felt so tired.

So this is it. No one to blame. I brought it all on myself. And I deserve it.

Fujin's voice still seemed to be beckoning him to go back. The fight they had that day was fresh in his mind.

She insisted it wasn't my fault. She was trying to soothe me. She wouldn't admit it, but she didn't want to see me go.

Fujin was right at the Lunatic Pandora. At least partly. I knew what I should have done, but I couldn't. I didn't want to give it up so easily. Damn me.

Must stop thinking.

Seifer stopped at a truck of a tree and rested. He didn't have a plan. He knew eventually he would return to Fu, and then to his home, the Garden.

He didn't want to face their glares. Their unforgivable shrugs of impatience.

And finally their sympathy. Their pity.

That's what he hated most. Worse then any punishment Squall could give.