here it is! i finally got some of it written! thank you to Temporarily . Me . 72, MCR-Luvur4all-Eternity and Cloudy-TheNightmarQueen for the OC's of Lexie Ellis, Penelope Porder, and Kayla Ross. for the first few chapters, its just going to follow one of the girls per chapter until they all meet. so please enjoy the story and let me know what you think by reviewing. (oh, and just thought i would clear this up, i used to be JoluJasamSkate but changed my username to WatchMeBurn-HearMeCry because no one knew what JoluJasamSkate meant)


Suicide Pact

Chapter One

Aubree

'Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more then half and it has sucked every minute so far, it probably isn't going to get great at the end and make it all worthwhile, none should blame you for walking out early,' –Doug Stanhope

Aubree Davis slammed the door to her bedroom shut right behind her after she walked in and carelessly dropped her school bag to the hardwood floor where it landed with a thud.

She then quickly pulled out her black ponytail holder with the violet ribbon in it for her school colors, purple, white and black. The ribbon matched her violet plaid skirt and tie that was over her white three quarter of length sleeved dress shirt. She attended Grace Academy, a private Christian school in Marysville, Washington.

Aubree had been attending Grace Academy since first grade. She used to love it there, the class sizes were small and it was a great learning environment all about God and Jesus.

Now, now Aubree hated it. To her, it was a constant reminder of what happened to her two years from tomorrow.

Aubree put her hair ribbon down on her nightstand by her bed and ran her fingers through her blonde hair, making it fall to her shoulders.

She couldn't help but sigh when she noticed her mom closed the blinds to her room again. Some things her parents would never understand, like how she needed to have light in her room or how she could never be in the dark. They thought that it was ridicules, but they weren't the ones locked in dark room for what felt like five hundred years but was only five months.

They didn't have the things that happened to her happen to them. They weren't forced to 'marry' a creepy guy.

Lucky to be alive, that was what the police told her. Lucky definitely wasn't the word Aubree would use. More like misfortunate.

Aubree was cursed with the memories of everything that happened to her there. How the two crazy brothers took her and Haylie against their will. The women that made them get dressed nicely before they were forced to 'marry' their male capturers. Remember what he did to her while she was there. Remember the escape attempt and Haylie running next to her until she tripped and fell behind. Remember the ear splitting gunshot that hit Haylie. Haylie's voice yelling at Aubree to keep running. Remembering she left her best friend there to die while she made it out alive.

She had to remember everything.

A single tear fell down Aubree's cheek as she remembered that, but she quickly wiped it away. She wouldn't cry. She wouldn't feel sorry for herself, even though everyone else did. She refused to do that. She spent the first year after that event feeling sorry for herself. She was not going to start doing that again.

Aubree quickly walked over to her bedroom window and opened the blinds letting in the dim sunlight from the rainy dreary day that was so common on the Puget Sound region of Washington State. As the light shined through, Aubree relaxed her once tensed muscles as the dull sunlight hit her skin.

She just stared at the rain pouring outside as it struck her bedroom window and could be heard falling on the roof.

One thing Aubree knew. Rain was rain. It would always be the same to her. Calming. Relaxing. Perfect.

She was staring out the window for who knows how long when she heard a 'ping' come from her laptop across the room on her desk by the closet. She sighed as she walked over it and sat down on the spiny chair at her desk and typed in her password to login to her computer. As soon as she did, the web page for her blog came up.

Www dot watch me burn hear me cry dot COM.

She has had that blog ever since she couldn't take the guilt of being responsible for Haylie's death. it was like her diary, but she posted it on her own website under the name of Ember Wolfe. Aubree Davis just didn't sound like the kind of name for her blog. Her name was too happy and cheerful. And ironically, her middle name was Joy.

That was the exact opposite of how Aubree felt. She hadn't laughed or smiled in what felt like forever. She wasn't even sure she had laughed or smiled since her and Haylie's abduction almost two years ago. Definitely not when she found out that Haylie was dead and didn't make it out alive.

Aubree stares at her computer screen which had one of her entries on it.

'I cut myself for the first time today. I don't know what came over me, its been exactly one year since Haylie was killed.

I woke up this morning and looked out the window of my room to the back end of the park behind my property. We have a gate from the backyard to the park. Its just on the other side of the fence. In my view are some hills where people always fly kites and the concrete bike path that leads to the wooden bridge, which leads to the woods trail. Right after Haylie and I crossed that bridge was when we were grabbed. Everything came flooding back from the kidnapping.

Everything.

The pain started up again. The pain my therapist said would go away in time and that I just needed to stay strong and it would get better.

It wasn't getting any better.

I didn't know how to get it to stop. Some people say cutting themselves help with the pain. I thought it was a myth. People only said that to justify what they did. How they cut themselves.

But the pain did go away. When I held the knife over my wrist, and I made the cut, I felt so much better.

I never thought I would hear myself say that. but I also never thought what happened to me what have happened. I guess it makes since because in a moment, everything can change.

XOXO Ember Wolfe'

Aubree scrolled down to the entry after that which was a poem she wrote.

No where to go

No one to love

Always alone

When you're gone

It hurts everyday

Why did you leave like that

In such a violent way

I feel so alone

Like nothing can help

The knife is all I see

The scars on my wrists

All from the pain before

Nothing can make it better

What is there to do but say goodbye

What do I have

What do I learn

How will this end for me

Come save me from myself

Wake me up

Make me see I have a reason to live

Make me see it isn't all over

Make it go away

Numb this pain

Make me happy again

Help me through the day

Help me see the light

Help me fight this fight

Help me come to life

Get rid of this hallow corpse

That has become me

See all I can be

Let this pain go away

Let me be whole again

Let me be free

Let me be me

She remembered when she wrote that. less then a year ago. She wrote it for her language arts class during their poetry unit. As soon as her teacher read it, she told Aubree's parents because she was worried about her so her parents started making the therapy sessions closer together thinking that it would help Aubree's state of mind. They thought that she was crying out for help, that she wanted to get better.

But Aubree didn't want to get better most of the time. she didn't deserve it. Her best friend died because of her. she knew she didn't deserve to get better. She left Haylie there to die! What kind of person was she?

She deserved everything that happened to her during that five months. She deserved all the pain that she was in now. She deserved every single scar she had on her arms from cutting.

But most importantly, Aubree knew that she didn't deserve to live.