"Quit it."
"Whah?"
His voice was taunting. I shrugged his hot hand off my shoulder. "Because I asked you to."
"Nah."
When he continued trying to worm his fingers under the spaghetti straps of my shirt I slapped him. His face was sticky with sweat and I could clearly feel the wrinkles of his disfigured face under my fingers.
"Fucken bitch." he growled, but his only retaliation was to put his hand back.
I turned my head so I could scowl in his face. I looked at the familiar cleft lip revealing blotchy red gums and long yellow teeth, the deformed jaw and ice blue eyes, matted pile of grayish brown hair on top of his oddly oval-shaped head. He was giving his gnarled impression of a smirk back at me, clearly enjoying how angry he could make me just by continuing to do what I didn't want him to.
"Can't you leave me alone for ten seconds?"
"Whah?"
At my disgruntled expression he laughed. A wild, raspy sound. He only repeated 'why' to all of my questions because he knew it annoyed me. And once I had tried to do the same thing to him, but all it got me was a punch to the jaw. One of the only things I liked about being pregnant was that he didn't hit me anymore.
"Fine. Touch me. I don't care."
I crossed my arms and stared out across the desert. It would be dark soon, the sunset already disappearing. The sky was turning to dark blue above us, closer to the horizon fading to a pinkish orange that was sinking rapidly. Lizard's hand stayed on my shirt, fingers playing clumsily with the strap. I sighed, my bloated stomach twitching as I released the air in my lungs slowly. Day by day I was getting bigger, slowing down, requiring more food and more bathroom breaks.
"Gotta g'back soon."
A frown settled on my chapped lips. "How come?"
"Papa need m'help. Dunno wut." Lizard's hand slid off my shoulder, no longer interested because I was pretending I didn't care. He picked up a rock from near my bare foot and tossed it over the cliff. I watched it fall, listening for the echo of it hitting the ground but hearing nothing.
"There haven't been any travelers for a while. He probably doesn't need help in the garage." I mused, voice laced with hope. The garage was where the…meat was butchered. I hated the garage more than any of the other houses in the dusty little village. No matter what Lizard threatened me with I wouldn't go near it.
Lizard made a thoughtful noise, picking up another rock and throwing it with more force than the other one. "Papa bin actin' odd. Since Hades come 'round."
I nodded to show my understanding, remaining quiet. I didn't know too much about the inner-working of the mutant hierarchy in Yuma Flats, but I knew that Hades and Jupiter had been arguing for weeks now. It had been everyone on edge, especially Lizard. He never said it, but I knew he was anxious about what his father and uncle were fighting about.
"You don't think it's me, do you?" I asked suddenly, just as the idea occurred to me.
Lizard grunted. "Nah. Dun care f'tis neither."
I nodded again. As far as Lizard was concerned, everyone knew whose 'property' I was. He'd made that clear to me more than once. The sun was almost completely gone now, which thankfully meant the temperature was dropping. I hated being hot all the time, and lugging around the extra weight meant I was usually covered in a thin layer of sweat. Sometimes thicker depending on how much Lizard drug me around in a day.
There was shuffling next to me as he stood. In a gesture that was so familiar at that point it didn't even make me flinch, Lizard hooked his arms under my armpits and hefted me up. I huffed as my legs straightened, holding me up now that I was standing. My back hurt. Lizard released me and made a noise in his throat.
"Yew gettin' heavy." he told me as I brushed dirt off my cut-off denim shorts.
I turned around to glare at him, resting a hand on top of my stomach. "Well, that's your fault."
"Huh." a chuckle was my answer, the corner of his grim mouth turning up. "C'mon."
He walked for the village and I watched him. In nine months I had gained a sort of appreciation for the way Lizard moved, though most of the time I was still horrified by him. He was tall and thin and moved like…well, a lizard. I assumed that was how he got his name. The lengthy, strong muscles in his legs carried him ahead of me easily, my strained legs causing me to fall behind and breathe heavily in moments.
Maybe a few months before I would have called out for him to slow down, afraid of getting lost, but now I knew my way. The rocks and hills all looked the same, but I had acquired some sense of direction in the endless desert. My inner compass pointed to the village, something that frightened me.
"C'mon. Big Mama need ya in da kitchen."
I frowned when Lizard's voice shouted back at me. "What does she need? You didn't say anything earlier."
"She dun say. Hurry up."
My hand found a rock to help me step up a low slope, my lungs heaving in and out. The baby moved inside me, a pressure against my organs that was reassuring as well as a little painful. He kicked right next to my bladder and I winced, knowing I would need to go into the outhouse as soon as we got back. I patted my stomach to soothe the little body inside it, letting him know that I was fine despite my heavy breathing.
When I got to the top of the slope Lizard was visible again. His back was to me as he walked, slightly hunched over and with purpose as he always did. He was wearing a dirty vest that was torn in multiple places, a grimy red t-shirt underneath. It had several pockets that I knew held various sharp instruments. Some of which had been used to threaten me or other people in front of me. Sometimes to kill. His knee-length cargo shorts were ragged, revealing his legs that were a dark tan like the rest of his leathery skin.
I sighed and reached up to wipe a sweaty piece of my dark brown hair from my forehead. My bangs hadn't grown out enough to fit in with the rest of my long ponytail yet, but I was working on it. Usually when Big Mama wanted me in the kitchen it was because she wanted to talk, or because she needed help cooking. I hoped it wasn't the latter.
Out of all the mutants, Big Mama, Papa Jupiter, and Ruby were the nicest to me. The main reason was I knew I owed them my life. Some life it was. But if it weren't for Big Mama and Papa Jupe allowing Lizard to keep me I would have been dead like everyone else. All of them.
I swallowed the hot spit in my mouth, blinking back the tears that came when I thought of my family and friends. It was a forbidden topic for me, even in my head, so I locked it away. I had shed too many tears already. Tears had no place in the desert. Not for me.
"Penny!"
My name made me jump. Lizard rarely said it, mostly addressing me in grunts or the occasional 'yew'. He was looking back at me, irritated. I realized I had stopped walking, starting again, rubbing the back of my neck. It was moist and dry, hot from the near-constant sunburn I had.
Never in my life had I been good at tanning. My friends would sit out in the sun for a few hours and be a perfect golden-brown, but when I tried it I only turned out red. It turned out I just had to spend months in the sun, then some of the red would turn to a slight tan on my usually pale skin. However my shoulders, neck, nose, and cheeks remained pink.
"I can't go any faster!" I shouted at him across the distance, one hand moving to support the small of my back.
He looked back, cleft lip curling in preparation to say something to me, but then the walkie talkie in his pocket buzzed. I could hear the static and a mumbling voice even from twenty feet behind him. It sounded like Big Brain to me, but I wasn't sure. Lizard glanced at me again, then ahead, then broke into a sprint.
I paused, surprised. He disappeared in a matter of seconds, one of the fastest people I'd ever seen in my life. I held my stomach and half-jogged towards where I'd last seen him, my eyebrows furrowing.
"Lizard!"
My scream echoed in the open land, the whistling of the wind covering most of it up. I could see him now, already down the ledge we had climbed up about an hour earlier. He waved his arm towards the houses, which were only about a hundred yards away, yelling something that I couldn't hear but I assumed meant for me to go meet Mama like I was supposed to. For another moment I was shocked, then the anger really set in.
I couldn't get down the ledge on my own. Even before I'd been hugely pregnant it had been a challenge, but now it was impossible. I stomped my foot and screamed curses after Lizard, but he was gone, probably having crawled into one of the many holes the mutants used to navigate the desert secretly. I was stuck.
For a good ten minutes I shouted for help, but voices didn't carry in the desert. The mutants counted on that to cover up screams. I looked down at the seven foot drop to the next landing. If I could just make it there the next drop was only two feet, completely manageable. The baby shifted inside of me again, responding to my pounding heart. I swallowed, rubbing the side of my stretched skin.
"Okay." I whispered, slowly lowering myself to the ground.
Once in a sitting position I scooted for the edge until my feet were off, pulse speeding even more. I braced my elbows on the ground, wincing at how the position put all the baby's weight on my spine. I tried to go quickly to get it over with, but I was too afraid. I was going to get back at Lizard for this. If I could get down uninjured.
My legs dangled into open air at the knee. I let out a shaky breath, looking up at the sky for help. It would be completely dark soon, and when it was dark in the desert it was black, no cities nearby to lighten the night.
This struggle in the fading light was so parallel to my life that I almost sobbed. No matter what I did I was alone, lost, and fighting to survive. There was no escape for me. I knew it so finally that it hurt.
I inched my elbows forward, hissing at how the skin dragged on the rough ground. Now my butt was off the ledge too, a few more inches would unbalance me and if I wasn't careful I would fall. I clenched my eyes shut, breathing quickly in and out of my flared nostrils. I thought about spending the freezing night outside with the snakes and scorpions, and what would happen if one of the Hades clan stumbled on me.
I pushed myself those last few inches.
For a moment I held myself up, but I was too heavy with the baby weighing me down. A shriek bubbled out of my throat as I slid, my elbows digging down to try and catch me. The ledge was jagged rock, and as I fell my elbows scraped against it harshly. Pain stabbed at me as I landed, my ankles aching from the drop, but they were uninjured. I was breathing heavily, shuddering, elbows stinging hotly. My hands were curled into fists, my fingers twitching when I felt liquid running down to pool in my palms.
My elbows were definitely injured, probably needed bandaging. I sighed, stepping down the other ledge and walking towards the house where Big Mama, Ruby, Mercury, and Venus stayed.
As soon as I was in the door I heard Ruby gasp.
"Pen!" she said in her high voice. "Wha' happen?"
I looked down and saw the blood dripping off my fingers. It made my stomach churn. "I fell. Can you get the first aid, Rubes?"
She nodded and ran off, the hood of her red sweatshirt falling off in her haste. I moved into the kitchen and sat down, carefully holding my arms off the table. Big Mama was at the oven, turning around when she heard me, wiping her large fingers on her flowery apron.
"Honey, what happened to yew?" her eyebrows shot up, her brown eyes wide in concern. She was wearing her wig.
I scowled. "Lizard ran off and left me. I had to get down off the ledge to the cliff myself and I tore my elbows open."
"Why did he do that?" wondered Mama, bustling over to a drawer to get me some towels. She wet them in the sink and brought them over.
When she wiped at the blood I groaned. "Shit."
"Sorry, sweetheart."
I pursed my lips so I wouldn't make any more noises. Mama didn't like causing pain. "Thank you, Mama."
She kissed me on the cheek and patted my head. I knew she thought of me as a daughter, and I allowed myself to relish the kind contact. I got so little of it I had to appreciate what I got.
Ruby came in with the dusty red box her brothers had stolen from a family around two months ago. She set in on the table and opened the latch, pulling out a roll of bandages and a bottle of peroxide. I grimaced at the prospect of the burn the liquid would bring. But infection could be dangerous in the desert, so I would put up with it.
"Wha' happened?" repeated Ruby as I stood and moved for the sink. She followed me with the supplies.
Big Mama answered for me, which I was grateful for. If I talked my voice would wobble. "Lizard left 'er alone out there. If Jupe finds out he'll whip him."
"Oh." Ruby breathed out, fear in her lopsided eyes. Her small mouth was set anxiously. "S' baby aright, Penny?"
I nodded. Even though I was hurt the baby was fine, rearranging himself inside me at the pain I was feeling, but he was fine. That was what mattered to me. "Yes, he's just fine. I only hurt my elbows."
She made a noise of relief and was quiet. The way Ruby touched me to bandage my wounds was hesitant. Everything she did was so sheepish, it made me feel nothing but pity for her. I imagined growing up with a family like hers and knew I would have been skittish, too. As she fixed me up I leaned my head on hers, first causing her to flinch, then smile.
I loved Ruby. She was one of the only things I was grateful for in my nightmarish situation.
The peroxide hurt as bad as I was expecting, but it was better than letting the wound fester in the heat and dying from infection. I kept bleeding, but Ruby wrapped the bandage around me tight, so I didn't worry about it. In the morning I would take them off and see how it was doing, spraying the wound with antiseptic if need be.
"Thank you, Ruby. I think I'm gonna go to bed."
Ruby nodded as she rinsed the sink of peroxide and blood. "Aright. G'night, Penny."
"Good night, Ruby. Mama."
I waved at the two women, leaving the kitchen and grabbing a flashlight by the door before leaving the whole house. The one that Lizard and I inhabited was small, only one story, and a few houses away. It was kind of funny to me, that I had a house that I might have envisioned as my dream house in the past. Now it was my nightmare house.
I watched the beam of the flashlight on the ground, wanting it more for comfort than to see my way. I'd walked the path hundreds of times. I was thinking that I would be there any second when the light landed on a pair of old boots, a hole in the right one's toe revealing a filthy sock. I stopped, raising the flashlight up the body until I could distinguish who it was.
"Hi, Pluto."
I didn't shine the light on his face, knowing it would hurt his good eye, but I could imagine the customary goofy smile on his malformed face. "Hi, Pen." he said to me in his garbled voice. "Where goin'?"
"Home for bed. Where are you going, Plute?"
He made a low noise, one I thought sounded upset. "Help Unca Jupe. Night."
With that he ran off, I could hear his heavy body thumping on the hard ground. I wondered what was going on, but I would find out in the morning. I pushed on the screen door to my house. My house. I sighed and used the flashlight to go to the bathroom, then the bedroom.
The bed was surprisingly comfortable. It had a solid wood frame and a thick mattress, along with a downy comforter and soft pillows. I only used the blankets at night, when the temperature dropped surprisingly low. I stripped down to my underwear to sleep nonetheless, knowing that when I woke up in the morning it would be back to blistering heat again.
Once in bed I was comfortable, forgetting my injured elbows and my fury at Lizard for causing it. Those were things I would worry about in the morning.
For the time being, I was going to sleep and dream about happier times.
