Title: I'm OK

Rating: R for child abuse

Notes: [blah blah blah] = lyrics

Yes...I know this song is about a little girl but when you hear the song you think of Heero so that's why its up.  This is Heero angst.  Also this was an idea a friend of mine had but she didn't want to write it or post it but said I could.  So this is dedicated to Gohan/Videl4ever.

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[Once upon a time there was a girl

In her early years she had to learn

How to grow up living in a war that she called home

Never know just where to turn for shelter from the storm]

A small boy of about five stared up at the man with a bionic arm.  "You failed I don't accept failure." He sneered, bring his wired hand across the small boy's face. He looked back at the man.  Unshed tears in his eyes.

[Hurt me to see the pain across my mother's face

Every time my father's fist would put her in her place

Hearing all the yelling I would cry up in my room

Hoping it would be over soon]

Seeing the tears, the man struck the boy again. "Boys don't cry!" And again.  He hit him a forth time, sending him into the wall.  Tears streamed from his eyes.  Causing the burning on his face to subside.

[Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same

And I still remember how you kept me so afraid

Strength is my mother for all the love she gave

Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday

And I'm OK]

The boy, now older and bigger, raced to beat the clock.  Or suffer through what he always has if he failed.  Now he no longer cried.  No longer stumbled.  Just waited for it to end.  The clock buzzed, and he has failed.

[I often wonder why I carry all this guilt

When it's you that helped me put up all these walls I've built

Shadows stir at night through a crack in the door

The echo of a broken child screaming "please no more"

Daddy, don't you understand the damage you have done

To you it's just a memory, but for me it still lives on]

Finally away from him.  Fighting for the cause of peace in his gundam, Wing Zero.  Doing what he was trained for.  Doing what he put up with all those years of abuse for.  To do what he is doing.  To be perfect.

[Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same

And I still remember how you kept me so, so afraid

Strength is my mother for all the love she gave

Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday]

The bruises finally gone.  All of it is just a painful memory.  Now grown up, living his life.  He helped to obtain world peace, and is no longer needed as a soldier.  He was never trained for life outside of war.

[It's not so easy to forget

All the lines you left along her neck

When I was thrown against cold stairs

And every day I'm afraid to come home

In fear of what I might see there]

At night, he was usually rustled from his sleep.  The nightmares still plaguing him. His laughter, his face, all of which plagued him night after night.  'You have to be perfect..'. He could hear him say, as if he was still alive.

[Bruises fade father but the pain remains the same

And I still remember how you kept me so afraid

Strength is my mother for all the love she gave

Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday

And I'm OK

I'm OK]

"I am perfect."  He reassured himself each night.