I do not own the characters or the song. They are the property of Dick Wolf and Leanne Womack
She had been back from the witness protection program for almost six months. I still hadn't heard a word from her. We had something before she left, something we didn't acknowledge ourselves, but it was there. You can imagine how surprised I was to find out that she was engaged. Sometimes the old rumor mill between the courthouse and the precinct had its uses. I found out his name and did a little of my own research. Turns out the guy was from Colorado. A wealthy Wall Street business man.
Elliot came over that weekend with a copy of the paper and we found him on the page that announced all the important engagements. They were standing side by side. He had a smug look on his face, as if telling you how lucky he was to be on her arm. El and I decided right then he wasn't very photogenic.
I heard she was gonna marry some guy from Denver
Then my partner came over, had the Sunday paper with him
There was the guy on the social page
Lookin' in love and all engaged
We decided he don't take a very good picture
It may my family background that's bringing out all of this unprofessional and unfriendly behavior. I know it's not exactly what church going people would do, judging this man without even having met him, but I've never been one to give much credit to organized religion. I decided that I don't really like him. He could be some kind of do gooder who makes sure the homeless are warm and fed throughout the winter. Hell, he could even be a candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize, but I think I might actually hate him. The reason doesn't matter right now, I'll think of it when I get a chance.
It may be my family's redneck nature
Rubbin' off, bringin' out unlady-like behavior
It sure ain't Christian to judge a stranger
But I don't like him
He may be an angel who spends all winter
Bringin' the homeless blankets and dinner
A regular Nobel Peace Prize winner
But I really hate him
I'll think of a reason later
Absent-mindedly, I picked up a marker off the counter and started to draw on the picture. He ended up with a few missing teeth and devil horns. The most grown-up thing to do? Not really, but he made such a good target it was hard to resist.
I didn't expect anything when she got back. A phone call maybe, but a relationship? Not likely. Right now, I couldn't be happier being single. I will admit though that I do tend to have jealous tendencies and seeing them together just tends to make it worse.
I drew horns and blacked out his tooth with a marker
Childish, yes, but he made such a thin little target
I couldn't be happier on my own
But I've got the slightest of a jealous bone
And seein' her with him tends to enlarge it
For all I know, he could be carrying around the answers to some of the world's biggest problems inside that tiny looking head of his. Maybe he knows how to cure all types of diseases, from baldness to cancer. He could be a person very valuable to this earth or even a world renowned dancer. I don't really care. I've decided that I really hate him and the reason doesn't matter, but in case someone asks, I'll think of one for later.
Inside his head may lay all the answers
For curin' diseases from baldness to cancer
Salt of the earth and a real good dancer
But I really hate him
I'll think of a reason later
