101 ways to kill, torture and humialte Jacob Black.

My friend Hay hin rox ( that's her penname on fan fiction she is a very talented writer help me write this story many of these was her idea.

1. Demon stapler

2. give him a box of chocolate with yummy grenade centers

3. Have him "fixed"

4. Drop 10 tons of apples on him.

5. Get all the other werewolves to get super pissed at him

6. bring him to the Voultri

7. strap him to a rocket headed to the sun

8. Strap him to a rocket headed to Mars

9. super glue and duck type his feet to the sidewalk underneath the empire state building then drop a penny on him from the top

10. pour honey on him then throw 5000 red ants on him\

11. Flamethrower

12. rocket launcher

13. Have Edward drain him of blood.

14. force him in a doggy cage and drop it in a volcano

15. make Emmet bear hug him to death

16. Casually drop personal letters to Jacob from Planned parenthood about coming gin for an appointment to talk about going on the pill

17. Have Carlisle perform "surgery" on him

18. Shot nails at him with a nail gun

19. Have birdies peck out his eyes

20. Force him to watch a tellitubby marathon



21. Bring him to candy mountain just like Charlie the unicorn

22.Hang him buy his toes by a large pit of bears.

23. stuff his head in a locker

24. make him read watership down

25. Bring him to a gay strip club with Edward Cullen as the main event (a/n yes I know that would NEVER happen!)

26. have all the werewolves think about bunnies hopping peacefully in a meadow.

27. make him drink blood

28. Run him over with a train

29. Dress him up like a girl

30. Have him imprint with Sam

31. Make him kiss Emily so then Sam kills him

32. Make him wear a thong

33. Force him to listen to the entire Britney spears CD

34. make him watch Bella and Edward kiss

35. Place him in a very elaborate corn maze that he will never get out

36. SUPER glue him to a chair and force him to listen to the Wiggles CD

37. drop a 1000 ton rock on him

38. stick his head in a pickle far

39. Inject him with AIDs then malaria

40. Hide all his cloths

41. Force him to take a bubble bath, and then post pictures of it on the web

44. Give him a baby bottle in fount of his friends

45. Take him scuba diving then steal his air tank

46. Trap him in a revolving door

47. Make him listen to a audio book of the dictionary

48. Hit him with a dictionary

49. tell everyone he is emo

50. Tell everyone he has an STD

51. Tell everyone he has the BIGGEST crush on Justin Timberlake

52. Strangle him with a public bag

53. Superglue a teddy bear to his head, a pink teddy bear with sparkles and pretty purple ponies

54. Push him in a pool of maxi pads

54. Stick his head in a bee hive

55. Push him in a pool of maple syrup

56. Repeatedly kick him in the private area

57. Superglue fake fangs to his mouth

58. Superglue Edward to him

59. Pretend to kill Bella but make it so he thinks Bella is dead

60. superglue a thong to his butt

61. Dress him up like Jessica Simpson in his sleep and take a picture and post it on myspace

62. Have him pour water on a kitty …you know what happens next

63. Get a tattoo on him that says " I love Barney" On his forehead (a/n you know the big purple dinosaur"

64. Smother tampons with maple syrup and throw them on the back of his shirt when he is not paying attention.

65. Hide all his money in a box of tampons

66. Hack into his email and talk about how much he loves Nick Jonas and how it sucks that he couldn't het back stage tickets to the concert

67. Force him in a halter top and mini shirt then take him to the mall where all the popular people go.

68. Change his ringtone to Hannah Montana's Nobodys perfect

69. atomic bomb

70. Put hair removal cream in his shampoo

72. Place blue dye in his showerhead so when he showers he will become blue

73. Drip hot sauce in his mouth while he is asleep

74. make him watch big bunny

75. Feed him baby food

75. Force him to watch Edward and Bella do-it after their wedding

76. place itching powder on his toilet paper

77. Hit him mover the head with a titanium enhanced chair

78. Instead of the silent treatment give him the talk until I wanna commit suicide treatment

79. Have Billy give him the talk

80. Put vinegar in his drink

81. Put pheromones in his washing detergent (a/n 100 my friends idea, I don't know what that is)

82. When he turns werewolf dumb hair removal cream on him

83. Put a collar on him that has his name address etc on it

84. Post posters of kittens in his room

85. Push him off a cliff

86. Drown him in hot cocoa

87. Shave off his eyebrows.

88. super glue high heels to his feet.

89. Bring him bowling and put super glue in the holes of the bowing ball

90. Force him to cook

91. Force him to wear a bikini

92. Superglue him to Sam

93. Spread rumor the he likes to bake

94. paint his toenails pink with sparkles

95. Kick him in the head

96. Cut his private area off bake it into a pie then force him to eat it (a/n I did not make this one!! My friend did!)

97. Slit his wrists then post picture up saying he is emo.

98. make him listen to Bella singing the song "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" over and over

99.pluck all his eyelashes

100. wax his eyebrows and "accidentally" take them both off

101. Post this whole list on the web which we already did! \

There 101 ways, do you want me to keep writing more lists or do you want me to make other chapter but with other character from twilight getting humiated ? Drop a review.