101 things Severus Snape would only do in fanfiction

Have a sexual relationship with Hermoine Granger. (What the heck people!?!)

Or Remus Lupin. (O.o)

Or Sirius Black. ( Omg, They hate each other.)

Or Albus Dumbledore. ( That was the scariest thing I have ever read!)

Be nice to Harry Potter. ( Never gonna happen.)

Give Gryffindor points.

Wear pink underwear. ( It was seriously in a fanfiction.)

Be a kind, loving person. ( He's not evil, but…well.. He's Severus Snape!)

Become a Griffendor. ( He's Slytherin all the way!)

Be friends with Mcgonnagal. ( That rivalry will last forever.--)

Be turned into a baby.

Especially by his own free will. ( I doubt he wants to relive his childhood.)

Become a pervert.

Or a dancer.(O.o)

Dye his hair pink.

Especially not with pink bows in it.( I am not making thins up!)

Randomly burst out crying.( Oh, come on, people!!)

Marry you. ( Sorry fangirls.)

Become pregnant Definitely not by James Potter. ( That was waaaayyyy too weird! . .)

Get raped. ( He's Severus Snape people!)

Become a stripper. ( That freaked me out when I read that!)

Scream like a girl. ( --)

Especially not a Little girl.

Get a gender change. ( It was a scary fic.O.O)

Be a pantine model. ( Many seem to forget about the hair!)

Cross-dress.

Especially not in pink.

And definitely no pink fur. ( Gross!!)

Become gay or bi. ( Did you people actally read the books!?!?!)

Have clean looking hair.

Or Pretty hair for that matter. ( Would you have nice hair if you spent your life over a cauldron?)

And its definitely not silky.

Have a straight nose.

Or get a nose job.

Pluck his eybrows. ( Really, People what was up with that story!?!?)

Become a fanboy.(o.O That's just taking it waaaay to far…)

Wear Griffendor colors.

Be bad at potions. (Hello! Potions master.)

Be weak. ( Again, I say He's Severus Snape!)

Wear a catsuit. (Your freaks!)

Or a bunnysuit.

NO ANIMAL SUITS!

He is not on cocaine.

Drugs are not why he's skinny!

Nor does he do drugs.

And he's not an alcholic.

Not think your weirds. (You know its true.)

Not hold a grudge against the Marauders. (He's pretty bitter.)

Be in a fanfiction!!!

Keep in mind this is not critisism. I think Harry Potter is awesome. Also its not making fun of anyone. And keep in mind this is just a fanfiction please. I hope you tell me what you think. This is my first fanfiction. I think it turned out alright. Say whatever you want about it. I appreciate all comments.