Summary:

The events shook her, and she knew he knew it. But what shook her more was that no matter how much he changed, her feelings did not. Tag to Conversion.

AN: Yay! My first Atlantis fic! Contrary to what my old profile said, I am not indifferent in the shipper area for atlantis. SPARKY all the way!!! I'd like to know what you think of it. Also my summary that I love! I'd like to think it reminiscent of the brilliant Angel Leviathan! There's this style that I use when I want to say a lot in story, and I say little, but there's lots of statements that I believe say more. If that makes sense. I used the same kind of style in my Harry Potter fic "525,600 minutes."

If you think it works tell me. If you think it doesn't work tell me also, and why it doesn't work.

Love JamSack


Her beside manner was crap. She knew that; he knew that. She asked the wrong questions; the blatantly obvious ones that got sarcastic answers like 'I'm mutating into a bug. How are you?'

She guess she deserved that.

And then there were the clichéd reassurances that she desperately hoped would prove to be true. It was why she gave them. And though her sincerity was not doubted, her eyes expressed her true fears.

This was why John Sheppard found it hard to look at her.

Despite the warnings of the security guards, she had ventured into his room. He sat on his bed in the dark, making sure to keep one half of his body away from her view. The half that was affected.

She had asked the obvious question while anxiously knitting her fingers together, a sure sign of nervousness. Then she gave an update on the team's situation. He had repeated some of it to let her know he was listening, but otherwise he just sat there. As she talked she walked closer towards him, he kept swivelling his body away from her, and her sorrow and fear increased ten-fold. The virus was getting worse.

'Are you alright?' she asked again. 'Is there anything, anyone I can get you?' An incredible helpless feeling washed over her. She could do nothing, and neither could he at the moment. He could only wait and feel himself grow less human.

And then he had shown her; she could not help but gasp in surprise. The strange blue texture that was prominent of the Iratus bug had begun to creep onto his face and his left eye no longer held any life.

Oh, John', she whispered. An unmistakeable tug tore at her chest as he turned back around, ashamed of what he was becoming. John Sheppard was a stubborn many on many levels, and though he could openly take Caldwell's criticism, he could not bear her look of horror.

Her expression softened and she adjusted the position of her body to face him. 'I want another guard out there, Elizabeth.'

'Why don't you got back to the infirmary?'

'It's not secure. The inhibitor only makes me lucid; it doesn't slow down the retrovirus.'

'John, I don't think it's necess-'

'Don't argue with me!' His voice was filled with aggression as he stood up domineeringly. Elizabeth took an uncertain step backwards. She trusted John with her life, but she was not insensible of the situation.

Colonel Sheppard noticed her movement with a touch of bitterness. 'I'm not safe to be around anymore.' Elizabeth went to reach for his shoulder but he pulled back. 'Just get another guard and get the hell out of here!'

She knew. He was afraid of himself. A rare thing for a man like him. He was afraid of hurting her, of losing his lucidity.

She was not afraid.

Elizabeth put her hand to his blue tinged cheek. He flinched at the contact, but did not pull away this time.

'Listen to me, John Sheppard. I will do everything in my power to make you better. And you know I have more power than most.' Her voice shook horribly and she received a grim smile in return. Blinking back tears she continued, 'even though Caldwell is resident vulture, you are no less important to me.'

In one swift movement she placed her lips on his cheek. 'Come back to us, John.'

Elizabeth left the room, remembering to ask for another guard and took a great gulp of air to steady her breathing as she walked back to her office. 'You have to come back to us.'