Image
Summary:
Image: the representation of a person. The way we see ourselves, the way others see us and the way we want to be seen. Some people say that image is everything and others say it isn't. I'm somewhere in between.
I want to believe that image doesn't mean anything. That what I wear or do with my hair doesn't matter, but I know that no matter how much I deny it, deep down I care about what other people think of me. Some more than others.
I care about whether I chose the right outfit and I make sure no one ever sees me in my glasses. I spend more than I should on a haircut and make sure I'm well groomed in every possible area. Yet it doesn't change the fact that I still don't feel good enough and I certainly don't feel like myself. I can put in all that effort and I will still worry about what people see when they look at me.
Do they see the girl that spends hours in front of a mirror but never feels right? Do they see someone that tries so hard to fit in with the people around her? Do they see me for what I am; an average girl who desperately wants to be herself. The girl that dyes her hair blonde to fit in with people she doesn't know even though I prefer it brown. The girl who goes on a sunbed every week even though I'm scared of small spaces.
I know you may be wondering why I go to so much effort and if my life were ordinary I might wonder too, but unfortunately it's not. You see my twin sister is Charlotte Spencer, The Charlotte Spencer, popular young actress and all round American Sweetheart.
How does this affect me? Well when you're a twin that's exactly what people expect, a twin, a carbon copy. Enter me.
This is my new Nick fic and although I won't be posting it on here people have author alerted me recently (which is amazing!) so am giving you the chance to check it out if you so wish It's different to my Camp Rock fics but people seem to like it so if you want to give it a chance you can find it here:
http:/ / ?sid=30847 (take out the spaces after the /!)
Hope to see some of you around!
xx
