Brittana one-shot because I needed to do this. I have all the feels. Title is from the Ed Sheeran song. I do not own Glee or Ed Sheeran or Ed Sheeran's genius song.


It's funny how a semester apart from someone you love can drive you crazy, and one semester was all it took for Santana to start feeling like she was going crazy. She thought about Brittany constantly. If she was being honest with herself, breaking up with Brittany was the worst idea she'd ever had and it was breaking her heart in to a million more tiny pieces every single day. She stared at a picture of them together and kissed Brittany's face. "I love you," she whispered. Tears prickled her eyes and threatened to fall. She would have let them, but just then her roommate walked in and she wasn't about to cry in front of her.

"Hey, Santana, ready for Christmas break?" she asked. "Yeah," Santana replied, shoving the picture under her pillow. "Got any plans? I just got myself tickets to see Ed Sheeran in February so I'm going fangirl all break." Santana smiled. "I'll probably visit my old school and try and convince my grandmother to love me again," Santana replied. Truthfully, an idea was coming to her. She desperately wanted, needed, Brittany back. She had to find a way to tell Brittany she was sorry and she'd been stupid, and what better way than to sing it? It was perfect, and thanks to her all-things-Brittish-loving roommate, she had the perfect song.


Santana had never been so happy to be back in Lima. Her parents greeted her with bear hugs at the door and then ushered her in and shut the door against the chilly December air. Her mom made her favorite enchiladas for dinner and they watched Full House reruns and reminisced. When her parents went to bed, Santana stayed up and stared at her phone. She turned off the TV and went to her bedroom.

There was nothing on her phone but a text from her roommate saying she got home safely and would call Santana tomorrow if she didn't hear from her tonight. Santana texted her back with a quick: 'Got home safe, talk to you soon. xxSantana'

She stared at Brittany's name in her phone and wondered if it was too late to call her. She was just about to hit the call button when her phone started vibrating and Brittany's face lit up the screen. Santana answered immediately.

"Oh my God, I was just about to call you," Santana said. It was like being back in high school when this occurrence happened constantly. "I wanted to see if you got home yet," Brittany said. She sounded sad, distant. Santana hated to hear her sound that way. "Yeah, I'm home. I'm sorry I didn't call you right away. I had to have dinner with my parents and then they wanted to hang out a little bit. But I'm here and I want to see you," she said. "I want to see you, too," Brittany admitted. Santana breathed a sigh of relief. "You should come over tomorrow. My parents won't be home and I just really want to see you." "Okay. What time?" Brittany asked. "Come over at noon. I'll make you lunch and we can talk," Santana answered. "Okay, noon," Brittany agreed, "I have to go now. I'm really tired. I'll see you tomorrow." "Yeah, see you tomorrow," Santana replied. And before she could say 'I love you' Brittany hung up.


Noon couldn't come soon enough. Santana was anxious and she had hardly slept all night. She just kept tossing and turning and worrying about how things would go with Brittany. If Brittany didn't want her back, she didn't know what she was going to do. All she wanted was to erase what had happened in that damn choir room. She'd give anything to go back and undo what she did. All she could do now was pray she could fix it and that Brittany hadn't found someone else.

Santana jumped to her senses when the doorbell rang. She answered the door and smiled at Brittany as she walked in. "Hey," she said. "Hey," Brittany replied. They stared into each other's eyes and Santana's stomach was filled with butterflies. Her breath hitched. Her heart raced. She belonged to Brittany and no one else. "Something smells good," Brittany said, bringing Santana back into reality. "Oh, yeah, I'm making linguini." Why was this so awkward? Was it awkward for Brittany? Santana was beginning to seriously worry if her plan was good enough or if Brittany had already moved on.

They didn't talk much while Santana cooked and they didn't talk at all while they ate. Santana's nerves were getting more and more frayed with each second that passed. Finally, she broke. "I still love you, Brittany, so much," she said as a tear rolled down her cheek. Brittany's baby blue eyes watered immediately. "I love you, too, Santana. I'll always love you," she said. Santana took Brittany's hand from across the table. "I want us to be okay again," she said softly. "I do, too, but it's not that easy. You hurt me. You left me and then you dumped me and it still stings," Brittany replied, letting several fat tear drops fall. Santana shook her head to clear it. She didn't know how to respond. She knew she couldn't forgive herself for what she'd done, why should she expect Brittany to?

"Britt, I'm so sorry. I know that probably doesn't mean anything to you, but I mean every word. I hate myself for what I did to you, to us. It was the stupidest thing I have ever done and I regret it so much," Santana said, crying harder now. Brittany wiped the flow of tears from her own eyes. "Why'd you do it?" she asked. "I was scared of what might happen if I caged you. I felt guilty for smiling at that girl. I didn't know if I was strong enough to keep us together until you graduated and could come be with me. But I can be, Britt, I know that now. I know it because the whole time we've been apart I haven't been able to think of anything but you. I know you're the one and I don't ever, ever want to be without you. And I know I hurt you, but I swear, I swear it'll never be like that again."

Both girls were crying to the point it was hard to speak. Brittany covered her face in her hands and Santana wiped her face with her napkin, despite the steady flood of tears that was cascading down her face. After a few minutes they both collected themselves and looked at each other longingly. "I don't know what to say," Brittany said. "Before you decide, I want to sing you something. I want you to know what I feel," Santana said. Brittany nodded.

"I'm gonna pick up the pieces
And build a Lego house
If things go wrong we can knock it down
My three words have two meanings
There's one thing on my mind
It's all for you, mmhmm

And it's dark in a cold December
But I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broken I will mend ya
And keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now

I'm out of touch
I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done
I think I'll love you better now

I'm out of sight
I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I'll love you better now
Now..."

Brittany was crying again, but it was a much gentler cry. She looked like Santana's Brittany. The Brittany who cried every time Santana sang to her. The Brittany who loved Santana with all her heart and would never doubt her.

"I'm gonna paint you by numbers
And color you in
If things go right we can frame it
And put you on a wall
And it's so hard to say it
But I've been here before
Now I'll surrender up my heart
And swap it for yours

I'm out of touch
I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done
I think I'll love you better now

I'm out of sight
I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I'll love you better now

Don't hold me down
I think my braces are breaking
And it's more than I can take..."

Brittany smiled through her tears. This was a good sign.

"And it's dark in a cold December
But I've got you to keep me warm
If you're broken I will mend ya
And keep you sheltered from the storm that's raging on now

I'm out of touch
I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done
I think I'll love you better now

I'm out of sight
I'm out of mind
I'll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I've done
I think I'll love you better now

I'm out of touch
I'm out of love
I'll pick you up when you're getting down
And out of all these things I've done
I think I'll love you better now..."

Brittany wiped the tears from her eyes and sniffled. "That's really how you feel, Santana?" Santana nodded. "That's really beautiful. What was it?" Santana smiled. "Lego House by Ed Sheeran. My roommate plays it on repeat for hours," she said. Brittany stood and switched seats so she was sitting right next to Santana instead of across from her. She took Santana's hand and kissed her gently on the lips. "I think it should be our song," she whispered. Tears stung at Santana's eyes. "I think that's perfect," she replied, her voice cracking with unshed tears of joy and hope. "Let's go cuddle, I've missed you so much," Brittany said, standing with Santana's hand in her own. "I love you, Britt," Santana whispered as they snuggled in close to each other on Santana's bed. "And I love you, Santana," Brittany whispered back.