Can't Let Go
by ViciousTongue
A Madoka Magicka Fanfic

Disclaimer: Puella Magi Madoka Magicka is owned by SHAFT and Aniplex. No money is made out of this.

(This scene takes place at the end of episode eight. If you recall this episode, read further.)

I am so done with life. I had it. I can't stress out my frustration any longer. Why does my life have to be like this? Why? It isn't fair that I can't get anything in life. Why must my life be mistreated this way?

It all started with that boy that I had a crush on. I visited him often to see how he was doing. With his problems on walking, I made a wish that would cure him to make him feel better. The wish not only made him get better, but he wad able to recover enough to play violin again. I remember that day. I remember how he played in front of us. That day was a miracle.

But then everything went downhill from that point. One of my friends has a secret crush on him. She told me about it and I felt jealous. In fact, hurt, as if I felt feckless. Who was it that sees him often? Who was it that had spent quality time with him? And who was it that made a wish to help him recover?

Well...you see where that was going.

I don't know what went wrong. Why me? Why must I be so stupid? If it was not that wish I've made, then none of this would happen to me. And the thought of being a magical girl was something special, turns out to be nothing but a curse. Why...ohhh…

I feel stupid. So stupid.

And I can't express my feeling toward him at all.

Because I'm already dead.

I'm dead. A living zombie. A lone freak of nature. Not even human anymore.

I am full of guilt. I can't do anything. I am just a magical girl, fighting witches. My mind is already full of despair. Nothing but envy. I can't talk to anyone. Not even Madoka. She will never understand me. I... I am hopeless.

As I look down on my Soul Gem, it was ready enough to rot me away. I can see it is going to go dark soon. I have no choice but to succumb myself into another form of me. I have no one to blame but myself. No regrets.

After all, I was stupid...so stupid.