Hey! Its Fox-Tears here with the first chapter of a nice lil' YYH fic for your enjoyment.
I OWN Yu Yu Hakusho, ok not really, I DON'T own Yu Yu Hakusho TTTT
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"Come on Kuwabara, it's—just—a—dead—cat! Get over it already, we have more important things to care about!" Yusuke shouted, throwing his arms up into the air in anger. "You have been mourning over that ball of rotting fur for like... an hour already!"
"Two minutes and twenty-eight seconds, Yusuke, give him time to grieve"
"Whatever, Kurama, same difference! Have you been counting the seconds on your wrist watch or something?!"
"No Yusuke, you see by simply monitoring the discreet patterns of the solar..."
"Oh sweet mother of mercy, here we go again..."
"WHHHHHHHY??? SHE..." Kuwabara paused and gently raised the deceased feline's paw to get a view beneath it's body. "Oh, I mean... HE WAS SO YOUNG!" Kuwabara was shedding tears like Niagra Falls and the team were getting nowhere fast.
"Im leaving..."
"Wait! Hiei! You need to help us find the umm, artefact... thing... uuuh... anyway! Where do you think you're going?! In this time of crisis, only we brave warriors can save the radiant princess of the Skye!"
"Yusuke... first of all, the artefact in which we are in search of, or, what we should be seeking, is called the 'Orb of Kirikae'" Kurama stated, leaning against an oak tree, "Furthermore, If you have played the popular RPG game 'Kyou Skye,' and observed and translated the dialogue in a correct manner, you would realise that it is not 'brave warriors,' it is 'valiant soldiers.' On the other hand, it has been debated..."
--4 minutes later—
"...Which is why neither statements in this particular theory can be proven correct— Yusuke? What's wrong?"
Yusuke was staring distantly in a daze into Kurama's eyes with some kind of weird, retarded expression and a line of dribble streaming from his lips.
"The complexity of your speech has damaged almost all his brain cells, fox."
"I can see that Hiei—Hiei! You are still here? I thought you taken off already."
"Hn. Oaf, detective, Kurama, let us continue are journey."
Yusuke was still fixed on the void that was his brain. Kuwabara was wiping his tears and sniffing.
"Kurama, Yusuke needs help if we are ever to continue."
"I'm on it."
When you need to snap your friend out of a brain dead state once every 12 hours, it becomes somewhat of a routine.
--The Tentai are back on their feet, and ready for action. Their mission: Locate and examine the Orb of Kirikae and save the Skyan princess! No... scratch that, just find the orb.—
"Where did Koenma say this vase was again?"
"Orb, Yusuke"
"Right, right, Orb. So where is it?"
"Well according to this map he gave us, it should be past this..."
The Tentai all looked upwards in unison at the crow 'caws', and were confronted with a three metre high hedge complete with spiky thorns and a dreary dark atmosphere.
"...maze of a thousand deaths"
"I don't like the sound of this place Urameshi! Can we just go, visit my aunt's kitten, grab a doughnut?"
"Don't be such a wimp, Kuwabara, it doesn't look too bad. In fact, this kiddie pool looks like a piece of cake! Chocolate cake! It will be simple... in, through and out. Are we mice? Or are we the Reikai Tentai!?"
Yusuke proceeded in huge manly strides, In the opposite direction of the entrance, mind you.
"Wrong way, Yusuke" Kurama sighed.
"Ha-hah! I was just testin' yah! Let's go!"
Yusuke about-turned on his heel and the four of them entered into the dark abyss of what would begin their epic adventure...
--
"Aaaaaaarrrrh!"
"Damn it Kuwabara, you big baby! Stop screaming! It's a leaf. A LEAF! ...Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrh!"
"Ha Urameshi, who's the big baby now?"
"Whatever you do, Kuwabara, do NOT move." Kurama cautioned.
"What?"
"Be motionless, you idiotic buffoon!"
"Grr, I know what It means shrimp!"
"There is... a, a –"
"What is it?! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF! COME ON, HURRY!"
Yusuke flicked his head side to side, spotted and grabbed a loose tree branch, and belted it firmly against Kuwabara's forehead.
"Ouch! What in the world was that for Urameshi?"
"Well, I think I managed to get the gigantic spider on your head. Oops... I think I missed it!"
Yusuke swung the branch round and wacked Kuwabara on the skull again and again, until he felt he had smashed the bug, and his thick skull sufficiently.
'I'm surrounded by morons' Hiei thought irritably.
--
"Are we there yet?"
"No"
"Are we there yet?"
"No, Kuwabara"
"Are we there yet?"
"No, Kuwabara"
"Geez, when I we gonna be there?"
"In all honesty, I don't know Kuwabara. Are you reading the map?"
"No... Urameshi has the map"
"Hey, don't look at me, Hiei said he wanted to lead"
"Hiei?"
"I gave it back to you Kurama"
"I recall... but I thought you asked to 'check it out' Kuwabara. For the second time?"
"Uuuh. I dunno, maybe I dropped it? Heh"
'What, The idiot lost the map? Our only guide to the way out of here? WHAT? No... no, it can't be happening. Trapped in the maze of a thousand deaths with two idiots and a clever fox? What will become of me? I know... That stupid oaf will chip slowly and painfully away at my precious sanity. The detective will discover my weakening and will mock my mental abilities. Kurama will pity me and I will be left wandering around in the deep depths of my mind, clawing at a precious meaning for life! Why?! Oh no. What if I die? The oaf will engage and then marry with my sister, without me here to prevent that from happening. Then every last of the Tantei will die of starvation or something unfortunate like that, I will be forced to spend an eternity with a thick headed buffoon, a mentally challenged detective and a clever fox that corrects my every GRAMATICAL ERROR??
"Nooooooooooo!!" Hiei screamed out loud and then fainted.
"Hey, I found it, it was right here in my old pocket! Heh heh... Hey, Shrimp boy, you okay?
"He was just having a bad daydream of an eternity spent with you, Kuwabara."
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AN: Yep. It DOES make no sense. You're catching on! There may even be a PLOT in the next chapter! Yay?
TBC
Next chapter preview:
"Huh? Spiky hair? Black hair, and a strange yet unusually comfortable black coat!? Wait... A sword! If I don't know any better, I'd say I was a splitting image of Hiei!"
You can guess the rest )
