This is a drabble about Jace and Clary before City of Glass but after City of Ashes. Read both books this weekend and really wanted to write something angsty for the middle parts. Apologies for any errors, this was written late at night. This is a stand alone, but may expand to add a few more moments between them in between the books, if i get inspired.

I don't own anything.

x.

He watches her, when he thinks no one can tell. It's futile, really, to try to hide his feelings towards her, but they're wrong, so wrong, that it's more shameful not to,

So he does. And prays that no one will ask, because denying that he's in love with his sister, trying to make himself believe it, is almost as exhausting as being around her.

He tells her once, he thinks, though it may have been in a dream. He can distinctly remember how her hair looked, the ringlets tossed over one shoulder without thought, her green eyes focused on him intently. The surroundings become blurrier as he admits how she is crushing the life out of him. The seconds and minutes and hours of being around her make him euphoric but weary, longing and thrumming with the possibilities. Before he remembers that she isn't his, never will be. At least, he thinks ponderously, that he can,has a right to, even, drive all potential suitors away from his Clary.

He doesn't take his eyes off of her, chatting to Isabelle and Simon, as he wonders if he could lock her away. If he can't stand anyone else touching him like she could've, she should be suffering just as much.

But then she sneezes, loudly but adorably, and the dark look is gone from his eyes.

Only wonder is left. Wonder and regret.

xx.

She thinks of him constantly. His hair, his eyes, how he has a star-shaped scar on his shoulder and his scent. Even now, as she talks to nonsensical people about nonsensical things like the weather and shows and Alec… well,not nonsensical, people ,especially these ones, with their blades and runes and powers, are never nonsensical, but unimportant, even though she knows she needs this too. Her and everyone else. To forget.

Only most of the time, she isn't thinking about the war. She's thinking of him.

She doesn't want to. She shouldn't want to touch him, hold him, kiss him.

He's her brother.

Too bad her heart doesn't seem to care.

Her nightmares these days are of him, them, and it takes all of her willpower not to flinch whenever he touches her. Looks at her like the way he is right now, almost like he thinks she'll disappear if he blinks. She thinks she might break one of these days, with his gaze on her. hot and searing, he may just tear her apart.

Honestly? She doesn't think she would mind all that much.

xxx.

They watch him watching her sneaking glances at him and pray.

Pray for themselves, for their friends. Their family. Isabelle and Simon and Alec and Luke and even Maryse glance and stare and pity. Two unfortunate people with unfortunate pasts and unfortunate families hold their thoughts as their world erupts around them.
Simon finally checks the time on the clock feet away from them, ignoring Jace's look as he tugs on Clary's arm.

It's time, he tells her, but she barely seems to hear, getting up but looking away from him, her gaze flitting over objects until they get to him.

Neither talk. In fact, they haven't all day. But somehow, their eyes say the words their mouths don't dare speak. It's obvious they don't see each other's gaze for what the others do, a tale of forbidden lovers and sister and brother and eyes conveying three words very clearly.

All Jace and Clary see is each other, and they don't know if it's beautiful or very stupid.

They just hope this won't tear them all apart before the demons do.

Review?