A Certain Annoying Couple
Chapter One
The teacher barking his class-ending orders woke me up from my daydream. I groaned as I realized I missed the entire lesson. Ah well. What did I care? I usually pass any assignments whether I paid attention or not. As everyone packed up their items to head home, I heard an annoying screeching voice behind me.
"Rachel-kuuuuun~"
That's me. Zachary Rachel. That gaijin who should never have come anywhere near this country. Yet here I am. That unremarkable foreign kid who's younger than everyone else with that equally unremarkable esper ability. Just to be clear though, what I'm writing here, it's NOT about me in the least. I'm only writing this as a time killer. No, this story is about two people even weirder and definitely more remarkable than I am. But enough of that disclaimer.
I spun around to the source of the voice. That hair that desperately needed to be cut and that miniskirt I was more or less certain was NOT up to school uniform regulations… Yep. That was definitely her. That is, Sana-hime. The school princess. Basically, just about as popular as that Railgun girl who just enrolled. What was her name? Eh, whatever.
I replied with a generic snarky one-liner. She didn't seem to give a shit.
"Rachel-kun, have you seen Shinki around?" I rolled my eye. Hell, she didn't even add an honorific to his name. If she really liked him that much, she could just find him herself. So that's what I told her. She smiled and reminded me of the fact I was her butler and had to do it, or something else that was completely made up.
I'm getting a little ahead of myself here. See, Shinki is another 'friend' of mine. In addition to being the object of Sana-hime's affection, he's also the object of, well, let's just say he's like a magnet for every last thug and bully in town. He's also the resident bishie, but that's another story.
"Look, I haven't seen him all day. If you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my dorm room where maybe my brain cells just MIGHT recover from being within a close proximal radius of you."
"…Huh?"
"Close to you."
I guess this is relevant. I, a Level 0 Esper, have a highly advanced calculation ability. No AIM fields or whatever they call them, I just have the ability to calculate distances, speeds, trajectory, just from focusing on an object or person, either through sight or sound. Of course, just because I can't bend a spoon with my mind it's pretty much socially accepted I'm a failure. Feh. Once again I'm getting off topic.
"I'll call you if I find him." I grumbled, then backed off before she could get another word in. First corner I turn, and…
"Is it safe?"
I grumbled the response he wanted to hear and he pushed off the wall he was hiding behind. "Phew, thanks Rachel-san. If she found me I'd never hear the end of it." Against my better judgement, I asked. "End of what?" And so began Shinks' epic tale of love, bitter warfare, and a coffee stain or two. In fact, I was back at the door to my dorm room before the story even ended.
"Oh well would you look at that we're here. Well, as engaging as your story was, I need to be off now. It was nice seeing you again." I said with a hint of sarcasm. He didn't catch on. "Oh, okay, thanks! Bye now!" He ran off like he was in a hurry for something. Whenever he leaves his friends he seems to always run, like he's got somewhere important to go. I'd like to speculate whether he's going to ensure the NSWF files on his computer are safe or if he is waiting for a call regarding his waifu pillow. But that seems meaningless.
I unloaded the contents of my bag into my sofa, then took a casual glance around my dorm room. Damn. I think the last time this place was clean was when I transferred here. I groaned and took a glance at my phone.
ONE NEW MESSAGE
I sighed at the English text that was on its screen. It always felt good to read in my native language. I tapped the voicemail icon on its touch screen and pressed it to my ear.
"Hello Rachel-san. The order you requested has arrived. Please come pick it up. Thank you." Hell yes. I waited, what, two, three months for the book to release, not to mention the extra week or two it took to GET here? Finally. That's where most of my money goes anyways, ordering books from back home. Either from series I followed before I left, or really anything that catches my eye. I packed up nothing more than my wallet and checked the clock. I'd break curfew if I didn't book it now. Heh. Book it.
The sun was already setting as the city took on a reddish tinge. I walked through the doors of the bookstore. Took me all of thirty seconds to get my hand on the most coveted package, and make my way back out. I picked up a sound just out of where I could see. I rolled my eyes. There was a guy getting mugged about 42.3 yards from my position. It was human nature to try and help, but let's be logical. A Level 0 with little to no combat prowess aside from the knowledge of how to curl fingers into a fist and throw an arm forward, yeah, I have such a great chance of making it out with all my teeth.
I didn't walk another block until I heard a familiar sound. I groaned audibly. I could almost put this onto a schedule. I peered around the corner to confirm my suspicions. Of course. I was right. There before me were Sana-hime and Shinks cuddling and cooing to each other. Come on. They were fighting not yesterday afternoon.
The truth was that Sana and Shinki commonly got together and fought in an almost regular pattern. Constantly arguing, but I guess they've turned those arguments and assaults on each other into some sick twisted form of flirting. But above all…
These two are the most annoying couple I have ever encountered.
