A/N: Hey all, sorry I've been a bit absent but school is starting to pile on the pressure for my exams, and I had a show to rehearse for and do and about a million other excuses.
Sadly, I don't think I'll be continuing with "Since First Year" anytime soon; I've lost inspiration for that story and on the show Dantana haven't been developed at all and I'm fed up with it. Obviously, I'm over the moon about Brittana in 5x12 and 5x13 (they were the first ship I truly connected with), and I felt like I'd been neglecting them for a while, so I decided to write a one-shot for them.
Disclaimer: In no way do I own any characters from Glee, but let's face it, the show would be so much better if the fanfiction writers were allowed to write the episodes.
If there was one thing Santana cared about, besides Brittany, it was her image.
Being almost thirteen and in seventh grade, she was nearly at the top of the middle-school food chain, and being as popular as she was, Santana needed to take care with who she talked to or was seen with. She needed to be feared by the sixth-graders and respected by everyone else if she wanted a chance to survive socially in this dump of a school next year. That's what this year was for; setting herself up for success in eighth-grade.
There was only one thing, however, that jeopardized her future popularity.
Santana had never been kissed.
Yes, she was confident, and yes, she had several boys chasing after her, but Santana had never deemed any of them worthy of her attention. Boys were, quite frankly, disgusting. They always smelled bad, and they talked with food in their mouths, and the raucous games they played in the yard that often seemed to end in bloodshed just seemed unnecessary to Santana. The thought of kissing any one of them made her want to gag.
So, no, she had never kissed anyone.
Neither had Brittany, though, so Santana didn't feel as bad about it.
"I want it to be special," she'd said when Santana had asked her about it a couple of months ago, shrugging her shoulders and looking up from where she was painting her toenails, "Y'know, with someone special. It's not worth it otherwise,"
One day, as Santana walked Brittany home (it was something she'd been doing for years without even thinking about it), Brittany said something that stunned her.
"San?" she asked.
"Mmm?" Santana replied, looking across to her best friend.
"You know how you're always saying the boys here are pigs and you would rather have your first kiss with a donkey than any of them?" Brittany continued, and Santana nodded, remembering her own words, said to Brittany only a few weeks prior.
"Well I was thinking, and I had a great idea," Brittany beamed, eyes bright, "maybe you should just pick a girl to kiss instead,"
Santana was floored.
She stopped walking, letting Brittany get about ten paces ahead before the blonde realized she'd come to a halt. Brittany turned and walked back to her, concern on her sweet face.
"Are you okay, San?" she asked, waving a hand in front of her face.
"Uh, yeah," Santana replied, "I just…"
"Didn't even think of it?" Brittany guessed, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips.
Santana shook her head, "No, I didn't," she admitted.
It wasn't a lie; she'd never thought about kissing another girl, because she'd never let the thought of kissing a girl cross her mind. Mostly because her abuela had often voiced her opinion on boys who kiss boys and girls who kissed girls. She'd told Santana that people like that were sinful, and an abomination, which was something Santana didn't necessarily understand. Because, while a certain Rachel Berry was very annoying, Santana didn't think that she or her dads were abominations or anything like that.
What Brittany was saying was mind-blowing to Santana. The idea that Brittany could just suggest it so calmly and like it wasn't a big deal at all, was just… it wasn't something Santana was used to. Suddenly, Santana felt a bit tingly, and her palms were beginning to sweat. Confused by this, she took a step away from Brittany, stammering out an excuse about having to get home early today. And with that, she turned on her heel and jogged off.
Once home, Santana walked upstairs and sat down on her bed, frowning. Her own reaction surprised her; Brittany hadn't meant anything by it, she'd just said it as a general suggestion. Surely. She hadn't mentioned a specific girl or anything.
But what if she had?
Thinking about kissing a girl was one thing, but thinking about kissing a girl she knew was another thing entirely. But what if she did? Who would she kiss? Not Rachel; for one, the diva would need a stepladder to reach Santana, and for another, Santana found Rachel extremely tiresome, and not a very pleasant person at all. No, Berry wouldn't do.
Neither would that Tina Cohen-Chang girl (too weird), or Mercedes Jones (too loud), or any of the girls in most of Santana's classes.
There was one girl, however, that when she thought of kissing, the tips of her fingers began to tingle again.
Brittany.
Yes, she was Santana's best friend, but Santana could appreciate Britt's beautiful face, and her long legs, and the softness of her skin. Her lips looked soft too. Santana wondered if they were.
Stop, said a voice in her head, a voice that sounded suspiciously similar to that of her abuela's. You're not allowed to think of Brittany like that. She's your best friend. And you don't go around kissing your best friend.
And by the time her parents came home and she made her way downstairs, Santana had almost talked herself out of it.
But not quite, clearly.
Santana had thought she'd banished all thoughts of Brittany's lips, but bang went that theory pretty much as soon as she saw her the next day. Whether it was when Brittany was talking, or sticking her tongue out in concentration, or the corners of her mouth quirking up into a special smile, the one that was reserved for Santana, she couldn't help but stare. And when she started to stare, Santana's mind started to wander.
As they were walking to Brittany's house again, Santana kept tripping over her own feet, stumbling gracelessly as she tried to snap herself out of the mesmerized state she was in. It was pathetic really, how clumsy she was being. After Brittany had caught her for the third time in as many minutes, she stopped Santana and turned to her, hands still on her shoulders.
"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked, worry creasing her forehead.
"I, um," Santana stuttered. She was still staring at Brittany's lips, watching the way they pressed together as Brittany surveyed her. Somewhere in the back of her mind, the voice was yelling snap out of it, idiot, but Santana completely disregarded it. What harm could it do really? Surely Brittany wouldn't mind if Santana just… Throwing caution to the wind, she went up onto her toes, and leaned in.
The second her lips touched Brittany's, the tingling that she'd been feeling increased a thousand-fold, and her mind was engulfed in a fog that erased all rational thought. Brittany, after a surprised second, pressed back against Santana, hands gripping her shoulders tightly. Santana could taste the bubblegum flavour of Brittany's lip balm, and when she heard Brittany's little gasp that parted her lips, it jerked her back to reality.
She broke away, eyes still closed, and dropped back down onto her heels. When she opened her eyes again, Brittany was standing stock-still, lips parted slightly, and looking at Santana like she was afraid she was going to run again, and maybe just a little bit flustered.
"S-santana, um," she began.
"Sorry," Santana said, backing away again, "I just felt, I thought you wanted me to…"
"I did, I think," Brittany breathed.
Santana's heart stilled. "Wait, really?" she asked, hardly daring to believe that she hadn't just lost her best friend in the world.
Brittany nodded. "I meant it when I said I wanted it to be with someone special. Who's more special than my best friend?"
Santana felt a massive wave of relief wash over her at Brittany's words. Britt didn't hate her, it was all fine. But she also felt a twinge at the word "friend", although it confused her to think about it, so she just pushed it away, like she always did with things that confused her. Her nerves began to pick up again, and she looked around her nervously, paranoid that her abuela was inexplicably going to come around the corner and disown her or something.
"C-can we just keep this between us?" she asked.
Brittany nodded understandingly, "Of course. Besides, it's our moment, our first kiss, not anyone else's," she said, leaning down and kissing Santana's cheek gently.
Santana shivered when Brittany said "our first kiss". Because it was. It was Santana's first kiss and it was Brittany's first kiss, and she couldn't think of anyone better to have shared that moment with. And "first kiss" somehow implied there would be a second, and a third, and maybe more. That thought terrified Santana as much as it exhilarated her.
But nobody else could know, because as much as she cared for Brittany and liked kissing her, Santana also cared about her image.
A/N: So, as always, let me know what you guys thought! It really means a lot every time anyone gives feedback.
