If I have realised anything since moving to Storybrooke it is that life is never as simple as it seems. Since coming to town my best friend has become my mother, a man I disliked has become my father, another man I cared about turned to wood and has since been turned back into a boy and not the man I knew. I have visited the Enchanted forest, made friends with a giant, nearly had my heart ripped out and met the most famous pirate in the known worlds Captain Killian Jones aka Captain Hook. To top of a truly stellar year and a half the man I love was shot and sent through a portal to who knows where; and my son was kidnapped by two psycho's and taken to Neverland of all places. Now I find myself on board the Jolly Roger sailing the seas surrounding Neverland with what could possibly be deemed the most dysfunctional family in the history of the world.
"Emma, are you okay?" I feel a hand come to rest on my shoulder as I all but hang over the side of the ship reliving the meagre breakfast I had managed to swallow this morning. I groan unable to actually articulate anything right now.
"Why don't you sit down," Another hand lands on my other shoulder and gently pulls me up off the railing and help me slide down to the deck. I pull my knees up to my chest, wrap my arms around them and rest my head on them fighting the roiling in my stomach.
"Why can't this boat just stop its damn incessant swaying," my voice sounds weaker than I can ever remember it being.
"Unfortunately Em, being on board a ship comes with some not so nice side effects. I myself find that I would much rather be on a horse than on a boat." I look up at the man who is crouched down beside me. I take in his blue eyes and blond hair so much like my own, I find myself smiling in spite of my current situation. "What's so funny?" David asks from his position.
"I have your eyes," I state simply. He just looks at me and smiles shyly before speaking.
"And that made you smile?" He looks at me bemused as to why such a simple acknowledgement could make me smile.
"No what made me smile is that I have your eyes and yet you don't feel comfortable enough to sit down next to me." I stare pointedly at him as he blushes ever so slightly at being admonished by his daughter.
"I don't like to crowd you, I think you get enough of that from your mother."
"True as that may be," I look up to find my mother deep in conversation with Mr Gold about something. "I would rather you be comfortable if you are going to stare at me." I return my gaze to his and smile tentatively, "if you want to join me that is." My heart races as I prepare for him to say no, sweat beads on my palms and on my head as I wait for him to just rise and walk away from me. Of course if anyone asked I would say it was because I was just being sick over the side of the ship, I would never admit that I wanted to talk to my father. I would never admit that the little girl inside of me wanted him to hold me right now and tell me that we would find my son, that we would be a family. That he would never abandon me again.
"Of course I want to Emma." He maneuvers himself into a comfortable seated position as he speaks. He has his legs stretched out in front of him and his hands resting in his lap, his fingers tap restlessly against his thigh and I find it distracting but oddly comforting at the same time.
"Is it as hard for you as it is for me?" I ask quietly after we have been sat in silence for a few minutes.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I'm close to Snow because we were friends before the curse broke but I find it hard to talk to you in a way which could bridge this distance between us." I wave a hand in the gap between our bodies. I know for a fact that if David had been Snow she would have been sat so close to me that I would be able to feel her body heat radiating out of her. As it stood there was about a half an inch gap between me and my dad and that was just the physical one, the emotional one was more like the size of the Grand Canyon. Despite my words in the mine three days ago.
"See its the other way around for me," David turns to look at me. Upon seeing my slightly confused and hurt expression he hastens to continue. "Its not that I don't want to be close to you. Quite the opposite in fact." The little girl deep inside of me cheers, however she is hastily silenced by the realistic adult. "I find it hard not to smother you. I just want to wrap you in cotton wool and protect you from a life which has already been so cruel to you. I have wanted to tell you since the day the curse broke how much you mean to me but I also don't want you to shut down."
"I wouldn't-" I begin to say only to get cut off by the look on his face. "Ok so I almost definitely would. It wouldn't have been anything personal though it's just-"
"Life has been hard for you. I get that Em, I really do. I also get that for 28 years you were alone, you never knew what a real family was," I feel tears begin to fill my eyes as David speaks the words I never wanted to hear either of my parents say. I swallow the lump in my throat as he continues seemingly unaware of the effect his words are having on me. "You never understood that someone could love you unconditionally, you never thought someone would want you. But Emma your mother and I do." It's at that moment David realises that I am crying, I had tried so hard not to let the tears spill over but I couldn't help it. Before I know what's happening and before I can fight it he has closed the distance between us and enclosed me in his arms. He lets me cry into his shoulder while he just rubs comforting circles on my back.
I cry for the baby who was sent away from her home and parents; I cry for the unwanted little girl in the group homes; I cry for the young woman who found herself betrayed and pregnant in prison; I cry for the 28 year old woman who celebrated another birthday alone. Most of all though I cry for my son who is in life-threatening danger and I cry for the parents who never got to see their daughter grow up.
"It's ok, we are together now," David whispers in my ear. I break out of his hold and just look at him.
"Nothing about this is ok! I should not have had to grow up alone. I should have had parents who loved me and that was stolen from me by one selfish, evil person." I make a move to stand only to find myself unable to move too far. I look down at my arm and find my hand being gripped by my fathers as he tugs me back down. I follow his movement and flop back down slightly defeated but also looking for Regina so I can kick her ass as soon as I can.
"There is no point getting angry. She can do things no one else can, I don't want you to get hurt. I told your mother we would deal with her when we got home but for now we all have to work together."
"I can imagine that you would be a persuasive public speaker," I smile as David releases his grip on my hand.
"The funny thing is only you think that," he returns my smile.
"What? But the entire town would follow you into anything." Disbelief mares my voice as I speak.
"No it's true, they follow me for different reasons. Your mother was always the one who had a way with words. I was always in the act first question later school. I led armies because of my skill with a sword, people followed me mindlessly into battle because I was the best. Your mother though," he pauses as he looks over at my mother. I watch as a look of complete contentedness falls upon his features, he looks, for lack of a better word, like a man head over heels in love. "Your mother was able to rule a kingdom because of her goodness. She was able to command armies because of her brilliance. She was able to inspire people with her words and actions."
"I definitely take after you then." David returns his gaze to me as I speak. "I'm more of a doer than a thinker. Henry though that kid definitely takes after his grandmother. His biological grandmother not that psycho adoptive grandmother."
"I totally agree with you there. Henry will be a great leader one day, he already shows many of the qualities required to lead a kingdom."
"What about me, I think technically I am next in line."
"That you are and you will make a great ruler but in a different way. People will follow you because you are strong and brave. People will follow Henry because he is honest and true. You are both kind and respectful, which are the two most important qualities a ruler can have."
"In that case maybe me and the kid should rule as a mother son combo." I joke halfheartedly, I look across at my dad and burst out laughing at the look of horror on his face. It takes him about 30 seconds to click on before he too joins me in my hysterical laughter. Before I know it I have tears running down my face and its not from the laughter, it suddenly hits me how much I miss Henry.
"Emma, honey, are you ok?" David is watching me carefully, I nod but I must have conveyed something else with my eyes because I find myself wrapped in his arms again and crying on his shoulder.
"I want Henry back now," I state but the sentiment is lost in the wash of tears currently cascading down my cheeks and soaking my father's shirt.
"I know," he soothes rubbing my back gently as he says the words. I have a vision of what my life would have been if this man had raised me. He would have kissed every hurt better, held me after nightmares but he would have also treated me like I was the most important thing in his life. In the circle of his arms for the first time in a long time I feel safe, not just safe I feel happy despite the fact that my son is missing.
"I'm sorry," I mumble as I pull back slightly David drops his arms but moves to hold my hands in both of his.
"Hey you never have to apologise to me. You hear me, never."
"But your shirt." I point to the now tear soaked shirt, I know that despite Snow's amazing foresight in packing she didn't bring that many changes of clothes for us.
"It's just a shirt," he shrugs, "you are my daughter and are way more important to me than a shirt."
"I know I have never said it but I love you dad." I watch as David's mouth falls open with shock at my words.
"I love you too, I always have since before you were born." That said we sit in silence and I place my head on my fathers dry shoulder. He wraps one arm around me and pulls me closer, I smile as I realise we have started to bridge the Grand Canyon sized rift between us. It will take more work and more time but maybe one day we will be as close as Snow and I are.
