Author's Note: This was done as a pinch hit Portal Secret Santa gift for alaskanwanderer at Tumblr. Happy holiday season and enjoy.


Another hall, broken glass, panels everywhere, you know just the usual. The lady's been acting funny this time 'round though. Stops sometimes to put the portal gun down and rub her arms. What good's that s'posed to do? Whenever he asks she just picks up the portal gun again and continues on, him leading her down various ruined halls with the premise of 'escape is this way'.

She follows solely for that reason. She wants out. Around the corner, through a half-functioning door, into another room, this is all becoming routine. When she first woke up the state of the facility surprised her. Now, she doesn't even bat an eye at the collapsed state of nearly every room and hall they pass.

She does stop at plants.

Wheatley stops when she stops, but he doesn't know what it is about the green things hanging from the ceiling that interest her so much. She always grabs them. Touches them. Looks up at where they're coming in from. That sort of thing. Then she moves on.

She doesn't know how long they've been trying to escape. She knows it's been getting progressively colder.

He doesn't know how long he's been leading her through this maze of halls. He knows she's been progressively slowing down.

In the next room the ceiling is caved in. Like before with the plants, she rushes toward the opening in the roof. They've been getting closer to the surface. She can see the sky through it. She can see the white. She can see the pile of white at her feet.

Wait, what?

Pile of white?

She kneels before it, placing the portal gun off to the side. She has to rub her arms again. It's very cold in here and she's wearing a tanktop. A moment of deliberation. GlaDOS is shut down. She unties the jumpsuit from around her waist and puts her arms through it, zipping it back up. She had untied it to defy GlaDOS. No longer your lab rat. But she's shut down and it's cold. The need for heat triumphs.

Wheatley enters the room after her. She ran ahead 'cause of the hole and he let her. Does that a lot, she does. But it's not green this time. It's white. What? He also hasn't seen the lady dress like that since they first met, but if she can't make up her mind with her fashion choices that's her problem.

He joins her side and mimics her position near the pile of white. When she glances up so does he. Some of it is falling through the opening. He's seen water come through. He's seen green things burst through. Never has he seen white that isn't part of the facility itself.

"Is-is it dangerous? Should stick something in it to be safe. Ooh, how 'bout that panel over there?"

She shakes her head.

"No? Uh, all right then. What d'you propose we do 'bout the stuff then? And what is it, exactly? Doesn't look very safe if you ask me. Which you didn't, but-but if you had, that's what I would've said. And did say. And I'll shut up now cause you're clearly angry with me."

At that she ceases to glare at him, turning back to the white substance. It looks familiar. She shoves her hand in it.

"OH GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHAT IF IT'S safe... totally not harmful after all. Unless it takes a while to kick in, in that case you're prolly not getting out of here alive now. Great idea, doing that. What is it?"

She picks up a handful and throws it at him. Hits him square in the face. He panics, as expected. She makes a strange sound that he doesn't recognize, then wipes the stuff off his face. Removing his glasses she wipes those on the inside of his shirt, then returns them to his face. She makes the sound again at his confused expression.

The sound is worrying him. "You okay, luv?"

Again she makes the sound and he begins to panic again, afraid she might be broken. Or whatever the human word for that is. He still isn't familiar with all the human terms. But despite the sound she is smiling, and she nods in response. So it's a happy sound? Oh thank god she's not broken.

But why is the lady happy 'bout the white stuff? "Don't think this is gonna help us any, luv. Should just-we should just get moving." She shakes her head at him. "What? Why not? It's useless this stuff is. Dunno what it is but isn't... Isn't escape something you want more than this?" He certainly does.

A nod. Finally some sense from her. Or not. He doesn't have time to duck when another clump of it is thrown at him. "Oh so that's how you wanna go is it? All right fine. Let the games begin."

He grabs a handful of the stuff and launches it at her. Misses by a mile. She hits him again. He tosses another one. Straight over her head. Another hit to his face from her. Knocks him down. "Bloody hell do you ever miss?!"

It's his own fault. He hasn't been like this –with limbs– long enough to learn a good throw. Sure he's mastered gotten better with the other things, but he'd never learned to throw. The lady on the other hand, wow she has good aim! Prolly how she knows where to put portals so quickly.

A jumpsuited arm enters his vision. He flinches, but the hand has none of the white stuff in it. She moves it to emphasize that it's there. All right, he takes a stab at what she means and grabs it, which yanks him upwards so he's standing again. More learned. How to help a human off the floor.

"Uh, thanks luv. Seriously though do you ever miss? How do you throw like that?!"

Once more the sound comes from her, but he knows she's not broken this time. She scoops up some of the white, puts it in his hand, then moves his arm for him. Closes his hand –grip tight–, pulls his arm back to a specific position –hand just behind head, elbow out–, and let's go, then tosses her own empty arm. Oh, throw it now.

He does, and the white splats on the wall across the room. He'd thrown across the room. "Oh would you look at that! Pretty good if I do say so myself. Not too shabby for a first try. Master thrower, Wheatley." A pause. "That was a good throw, right?"

White stuff hits the back of his head. "Oi!" He spins around, scoops up more, and tries the lady's technique to launch it at her. Before he can even stand up after grabbing some she's already thrown more his direction. This time he ducks.

Oh no fair she's got her own pile of the stuff! Fine. Two can play at this time. He tosses his handful at her –torso shot. Least he hit her this time– and separates some of the white into his own pile on another panel of the floor. Hah! Now he doesn't have to move to the main one and get hit on the way.

More of it is launched at him, and he retaliates clump for clump in return. Most of his shots still miss, but he tries anyway. Before long he finds himself making the same sound the lady had been making earlier. It feels weird to make that sound. Makes him happy too though, so he doesn't think much on it. It's a happy sound, and for once in his miserable life at Aperture he's having fun.

This is fun.

Throwing strange white stuff at other people is fun. Never thought he'd find that kind of thing enjoyable. Which reminds him, "So what is this stuff anyway?"

She stops mid-throw and looks at the clump of white in her hand. She doesn't know does she? Just thought it was safe then? To toss at each other? Just guessing on her part? He feels a little betrayed. If she doesn't know what it is then they could have been tossing something toxic all this time! Something with delayed reactions from toxins! How could she just guess and-

"Snow."

That voice wasn't his.

"Ah, say again?" He's got to be hearing things. She's mute.

"Snow."

"You-you just-that was you who-" He can't get the proper words out. "You spoke!" There we go. She's quiet now, just making another clump of the, what had she called it? Snow. Making another clump of snow. Doesn't seem all to inclined to speak again. Well she did it once. Least she can. Good enough.

He beats her to it with the snow. Finally! Head shot! Again the happy sound, and her clump gets him in the face. He can't see through glasses covered in snow. Yet again she comes over to clean them, this time showing him how. More learned. How to clean glasses.

This little sidetrack was actually useful. And the most fun he's had in... however long he's been at Aperture. Including his previous core form, prolly centuries. He likes it here in this broken room full of snow with the lady.

They're having fun. GlaDOS isn't an issue, they're not really in any hurry, the snow is fun, and they've got each other.

Escape can wait a little longer.