AN: hey guys, sorry I haven't posted a Sanctuary fic in a while I've been working on my OTH series and getting over post convention depression (it's a real thing, I miss Ryan) but well this story is gonna have a few chapters and will be told from Ashley's and Helen's point of view, each chapter will be in two parts (Ashley's P.O.V then Helen's) but please read and review, you are all the reason I continue to write, for the reviews of you telling me I did a good job and you enjoyed reading it or just telling me what needs fixing (though I do prefer when you tell me you enjoy reading it) I work on these by myself, I don't show anyone them until they are online so please R&R and thank you

ASHLEY'S P.O.V

'What am I doing' I think as I hand over the vial of blood my parents, uncle and friend working so hard to find. I stand in front of Dana Whitcomb the one woman I despise the moss, even more that jerk that gave me crap all through high school. "Thank you Ashley, you've been everything we could of ever hoped for. Welcome to your rebirth" I hear her say and I feel a smirk forming on my lips 'like hell it is, I am so gonna kill you bitch' I try to yell but it's as if she has control over me and I find myself placing my hand on her shoulder and teleporting to the Cabal headquarters in New City "activate the EM shield" she says to a tech at a computer. I want so badly to just teleport home but it's as if my body has been disconnected from my brain.

I am suddenly taken away forcefully and locked away in a holding cell, they sit me down on a bed and order me not to leave the room 'I am so gonna kick your ass' I try yelling, the words again not leaving my mouth. As I hear them close and lock the door I have never felt so alone and helpless, I try to bring my knees up to my chest but my legs remain still 'how am I supposed to escape if i can't even move my own goddamn legs' I think and trying to control the panic I feel 'oh god, mom" I suddenly realise she must be going through hell knowing the Cabal now had the source blood, I feel a horrible guilt form in my stomach like a rock.

After what seems like hours I feel my mussels finally begin to relax and I am able to move again "I gotta get outta here" I mutter as I try to hold back a yawn, knowing there was no way I was strong enough to escape now I lay my head down and allowed sleep to claim me.

HELEN'S P.O.V

'They took her, the took my daughter' I think and I close my bedroom door and slide down the wall, I felt nothing but pain and guilt, pain for the loss of my old friend and guilt for allowing my daughter to go on such a dangerous mission

if only I had said no, I should've said no, she would be safe "it was all my fault" I say as I begin to sob and tears pour down my cheeks.

After what feels like a thousand hours I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around me and lift me to my bed "we will get her back" I hear him say as he pulls me into his embrace "it's my fault" i say to him as I pull away and stand, pacing the room "It was not your fault Helen, Ashley would have gone either way" he tells me getting up and tires to keep me still "It was, if I hadn't gotten her involved my work Ashley was the one constant thing in my life, the one person who stood by me no matter and now they've taken her from me and it's all my fault" I say still pacing, John pulls me back into his embrace, his arms firmly around me "it was not your fault" he whispers and I break down completely "she's all that I have" I whisper between my sobs clinging to his chest tightly "we will get her back Helen" he says to me again, pulling me back to my bed leaving his arms around me as I cry and after a few hours, agains my wishes sleep finally claims me and I begin to dream, desperately hoping to awake to find Ashley sitting in the kitchen waiting for breakfast just as she did when she was six years old and safe from my world.