Just Needed His daughter.
For this, I wanted to try something a little different.
Let's see how well I can combine the humor genre with hurt/comfurt.
"Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorperated!" The chorus sings.
Outside of the large building, Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz is simply waiting outside of the building, looking up, and waiting for something. He begins losing his patience however.
"Sheesh. What's taking Norm so long." He asks himself. "I should've just waited for Perry the Platypus to show up and help me."
As he waits for Norm to do what it is he's suppose to do, an unexpected guess comes by, who is none other then Heinz own daughter, Vanessa.
"Hey Dad. Umm..." Immidiately upon arriving, she notices that her father is up to something...well, she doesn't know what he's up to. "What...umm...wha'cha doing?"
"Oh, Vanessa! If I had known you were coming, I would've had you help me instead. You see, I'm measuring the building, and I'm waiting for-" Then, he notices that a line of measuring tape comes down next to him. "Oh, THERE we go. Norm finally got the measure-inator down to the ground.
As Vanessa grabs and looks at the measure-inator..."Looks like $5 measuring tape."
"Correction! $500 tape. I can use it to measure the entire Tri-State-Area!" After Doof takes a good look at the measurements..."Ok, the building should be tall enough to do what it needs to do."
"Since I don't want to ask why you spent 500 bucks on useless contraptions...why did you want to measure the building?" Vanessa asks.
"A good question! You see Vanessa, I plan on openning my roof, so that I'll be able to jump out."
"Sheesh, are you trying to kill yourself, or are you going bungee jumping?" Vanessa ask ssacastically.
"Oh no. I really am going to kill myself. Have a nice life, Vanessa."
Done being on ground level, Doofenshmirtz casually walks back inside after saying bye to her daughter. Although she doesn't take it too serious at first, after realizing what exactly her father told her, Vanessa gets a horrified look on her face, then runs straight into the building.
"DAD, WAIT!" She calls out as she catches Doof at the elevator. "Dad, you weren't serious about killing yourself, were you?"
"Of course! I plan on openning the roof, jump off, and as a final act of evil, I plan on landing on my landlord's car. THAT will teach him for raising the rent!"
"You're doing this just to get back at you're landlord? Why not just make a 'Crush-my-landlord's-car-inator' or something?"
As the elevator finally reaches the ground floor, the doctor walks right in with his daughter chasing him in, determined to get an answer.
"Well Vanessa, I'm afraid it's more complicated then that. You see..."
-Flash back-
It started after a particularly bad day. Perry The Platypus destroyed the greatest inator I ever made, my latest girlfriend broke up with me, Rodney stole an ivention of mine, and Norm stepped on my toe. That was a busy day, even for me. That night, I took it slow and just watched TV. I was channel surfing when I came across an ad for some suicide hotline. Then it hit me!
As the idea hits him, and beam of holy light came down upon him as a smile emerged from his face.
SUICIDE! So simply, yet brilliant!
"NO IT IS NOT BRILLIANT!"
Interrupting her father's story, the flash back comes to an early end. They also reach the top floor.
"Dad, why do you really think killing yourself is so smart?"
"Must I really exlplain?" Heinz says as he steps out of the elevator. "My parents treat me more like a garden gnome then a son, my love life is a wreck, I can never fulfil my dream of ruling the Tri-State-Area, I can't be in charge of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N, even though I practically founded it, my only real friend is a platypus that's ALSO my worse enemy, my own daughter doesn't like me, and on top of ALL that, I keep getting sued by some ketchup place because of my name."
Feeling that he's done explaining things to his daughter, he walks into his apartment/evil laboratory to get ready to kill himself, but that's not something Vanessa wants him to go through with.
"Dad, please! Don't be an idiot!"
"Too late, Vanessa. Hey, do me a favour and tell everyone that Roger pushed me off. It'll help alot."
Prepared to take the ultimate leap, Heinz Doofenshmirtz charges off the balcony jumps up into the air, and quickly begins to plummet to his doom, with Vanessa only able to watch!
"DAD, NOOOO!"
Vanessa runs towards the balcony after seeing her own father take his life. Never before has she seen somethig more horrific then this. She looks down , only to see something she did not expect. Heinz Doofenshmirtz suddenly comes flying back up into the air, then lands back onto the balcony.
"Whoa, what was..." He then realizes what it was that just saved him. His arch nemesis, Agent P, rode in on his flying scooter and knocked him back up to his home. "CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"
"Agent, P!"
"Oh, you came at a great time, Perry!" Vanessa says. "My Dad was just trying to kill himself!"
Agent P realizes that the situation is already a grim one, though not for him on this occasion. Perry has never wished ill-will for Doofenshmirtz (or or least not much), so this is serious business to Perry right now.
"Tie him up, so he can't jump out the window again!' Vanessa orders.
Heinz starts to take a few steps back to get away from Vanessa and Perry, only to be grabbed by Norm the robot, who grabs him from behind. There's no escaping for him this time.
"Oh, the ONE time you're helpful, and I'm actually trying to kill myself." Heinz complains.
"Sorry Sir. I just know that we'll never play catch if I didn't do this." Norm says.
The skinny scientist is nowhere near strong enough to break out of the 10 foot tall robot's giant arms. He now has no choice but let his daughter talk to her and talk him out of what he's planning to do.
"Dad, WHY kill yourself? You'll accomplish nothing!" Vanessa asks.
"Vanessa, that's exatly the reason I'm trying to end my life at all." He explains. "47 years old of tragic backstories, and endless lists of failures, and no family to help handle the pain. Sure, the ocelots were good company, but they only live for like 20 years, so right now, I really don't have anyone."
"Don't be ridiculous. You have me, Dad!"
"Oh yeah, the very under-appriciating daughter who is always embarressed whenever I'm seen by your friends and would probably stop seeing me when you're old enough to move out of you're mother's house. How lucky am I?"
"WHAT? Don't make ME look like the bad guy! You're the one who has that title." Vanessa argues.
"I'm just saying that I've done alot for you. I got you a precious doll you wanted since childhood, thrown a big Birthday party for you, taught you how to drive, saved your life from and army of bees, all that in one summer!"
"How DARE you try to pin your problems on...on...actually..." Vanessa says as she starts to think about it. "You DO do alot for me, don't you?"
"You're the only daughter and the only real family I have." Heinz says. "I've wanted your life to be as good as my life has been bad. A little appriciation would be nice."
Vanessa doesn't normally see this side of her father, and neither does Perry The Platypus. They both thought that Heinz was doing this out of stupidity, but now come to realize that he's been in more pain then they realized. Feeling sad for her father, and a tad bit guilty...
"Dad, if I stay over for the night to make sure you don't kill yourself, will that make you feel better?"
"Well, it'll definitely be harder to do if I'm watched." Heinz says in agreement.
Feeling relieved that Vanessa has managed to convince her father not to kill himself, she smiles and runs to him (who's still stuck in Norm's arms) and does her best to give him a hug. Even Perry is feeling better knowing that he can continue battling his nemesis in the future.
"Ok Norm, you can let me go now." Heinz says.
"I'm not trapping you. I'm now hugging you."
Having sudden strength from annoyance alone, Heinz breaks out of Norm's arms and backs off instantly. For a moment, it they almost thought he was going back towards the balcony.
"Well, to celebrate me not jumping, how about we go out for some Ice Cream?" Heinz suggests. "I still want to throw something on my landlord's car!"
"Sure Dad. Just let me call Mom to let her know what I'm doing." Vanessa says.
"Alright, sweetie. Come along, Perry! I'll even get you a cone!"
"Krrrrr..."
"I'm coming too, sir!" Norm says.
"You're a robot. You can't even eat it!
Walking into her bedroom in D.E.I, Vanessa uses the phone there to give a private call to her mother to let her know about Vanessa's plans. After waiting for Charlene to answer, the answering machine finally picks up.
"Mom? Yeah I'm just letting you know that I plan to stay over at Dad's place for the night. He kind of needs some company right now, and..." She thinks a little bit more about her father as she pauses, then looks out in the other room, seeing that her old man is clearly feeling alot better already. "Actually, I think I may want to spend some more time with him altogether.
Finished with giving her mother the message, Vanessa heads out to go get some ice cream with her father.
Since I got writer's block from writing 'To Be Human', I decided to write this as a little break and to give you something while you wait for the next chapter.
I suddenly got the idea of combining comedy with tragedy, so I wrote this to see if it could be done Phineas and Ferb style. Hope yoou liked it.
And as I said, I'm gonna try and get back to writing 'To Be Human' now, so just be patient. Until then, ciao.
(PS: Please don't ask me anything about my other story in the reviews here.)
