Authors Note: I do not own Faking It, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or even a softball bat. This is just a a cracky one-shot that is the result of a late night talk with Ginger-bread88. So as usual you have her to thank/blame for this. I may come back and add some more to it at some point but for now enjoy the insanity.


Break-ins, Bats, Buffy & Bonding

When Amy finally decided to drag herself out of bed it was dark and the house was quiet. She made her way through the house and into the kitchen without turning on any lights. On the kitchen counter she found a box of donuts and a note. Grumbling she turned on a small light to read the note.

"We went to dinner and didn't want to disturb you. We got the message after you threw something at your locked door. Hope the donuts help you feel better. Make sure the house is locked up. Mom xx"

There had been a string of weird break-ins in the neighbourhood recently. Nothing had ever been taken but all the DVD collections had been rummaged through. The police suspected kids just making a nuisance of themselves and weren't really looking into it.

Ignoring her mother's advice, Amy took the box of donuts, turned the light back off and made her way back to her room to continue her wallowing. She had been in a miserable mood ever since Karma had started dating Liam. She wasn't quite sure what that was all about and wasn't really interested in exploring all these mixed feelings that were getting churned up. Her mother kept insisting that she was jealous that she would have to share Karma and that wasn't healthy. Her solution: "Find yourself a nice boy of your own. Then you'll realise there is more to life than your girlfriends."

Amy rolled her eyes even thinking about it. Deciding that the best companion to her misery would be a kick-ass vampire slayer and her plucky sidekicks, she got out her Buffy DVD collection and set everything up for an epic marathon. Just as she was settling down on her bed, after starting the first episode, she thought she heard a noise downstairs. She paused the DVD to see if she could hear anything but the house seemed quiet. She shrugged and restarted the episode.

A couple of minutes later she thought she heard the stairs creak and rushed to pause the DVD and grab the softball bat from under her bed. Slowly she creeped to her closed bedroom door and put her ear to it trying to make out any sounds. OK, she totally heard the stairs creaking now. Taking a deep breath she yanked the door open and raised the bat over her head. Trying to sound menacing she yelled out "I have a bat and I'm not afraid to use it. So whoever the fuck you are you better get the hell out of my house before I go all Buffy on your ass!"

OK granted she knew that wouldn't be too intimidating even with the deep voice she tried to put on and the curse words. She never really expected whoever it was to leave the house running. But still, she sure as hell didn't expect the girlish giggle she heard. Feeling totally confused she fumbled for the light switch to try and illuminate the whole situation.

When her eyes adjusted to the sudden bright light she found a girl, that couldn't have been more than a couple of years older than Amy herself, crouched on the stairs. She was dressed in all black and when she looked up at Amy her hood fell down and her long, dark hair came tumbling out. As their gazes met Amy found herself drowning in the girl's dark eyes. Snapping out of it, as the girl made to stand upright; Amy lifted the bat back over her head and tried to look intimidating again.

"Who the hell are you and what the hell are you doing in my house?" She asked again in that fake, gravelly 'deep' voice she was using earlier.

"OK, what's with the voice, Batman?" The strange girl asked with a chuckle.

"I'm asking the questions here!" Amy said waving the bat around. She was trying to get blood flowing to her tiring arms but was hoping it looked more intimidating than the weakling she actually felt like. She had dropped the fake voice though, since that obviously wasn't working.

"This is not what it looks like." The girl said as she leaned against the banister in a relaxed way.

"Really? 'Cause it looks like you're the punk who has been breaking into people's houses around here and messing up their DVD collections. And, I mean, really? Who does that? If you were stealing things or whatever I could understand that or even if you were trashing the place. But to just go through and mess with people's DVDs. Do you have something against the entertainment industry or like against alphabetised storing systems? What, you just don't like their taste?" Realising she was rambling and that she had slowly lowered the bat back to her side, Amy snapped her mouth shut and quickly raised the bat again.

The girl just quirked an eyebrow at her. "Most of them didn't bother alphabetising them." She said and gave her a lopsided smirk. "Did you mention Buffy earlier?" she asked before Amy could reply to her comment.

"Yes, I was just about to start a Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon before you so rudely interrupted." Amy explained. Then she realised she was explaining herself to a home intruder and scowled. "Stop trying to distract me! What the hell are you doing?"

"You wouldn't understand. You'll think I'm crazy." The girl finally muttered.

"Well I kinda already do." Amy replied.

Sighing the girl began to explain. "I've been breaking into houses trying to find the Buffy the Vampire Slayer complete DVD collection." She mumbled.

Amy just stared at her for a second as if she had grown a second head.

"What?" She finally managed to ask.

"Don't make me repeat it…" The girl said softly looking at the floor and scuffing her worn Converse on the carpet.

"But…Why? I mean have you never heard of Netflix? Or like, the INTERNET!? Surely you could find a way to watch Buffy without having to break into people's houses and ransacking their DVD collections. On a side note I am kinda disturbed that so many of my neighbours do not own the complete collection." Amy rambled.

"Hey, I never said it was a good idea!" The girl tried to defend. "I was drunk the first time and my girlfriend had just broken up with me for never having seen Buffy and I was just wandering around until I found myself outside a house that was clearly empty so I decided to break in and see if they had it to finally watch it and find out what all the fuss was about. But they didn't have it. After I kinda just wanted to be reckless and eventually it turned into me trying to prove a point." She tried to explain.

Amy just stared at her dumbfounded. "Which was?" She asked.

"Well if none of these houses had it then it couldn't be that good right?"

"Bitch, please! It is amazing! The greatest TV show of all time. How can you never have seen it!?" Amy asked in outrage.

"Oh God, not you too. It's bad enough I had my girlfriend on my case all the time now you are going on about it as well." The girl groaned.

"When you say girlfriend…" Amy trailed off not really knowing where she was going with that and why it even mattered. Why was she even engaging this person instead of calling the police?

The girl smiled at her with that cheeky grin and a glint in her eye. She scanned her from top to bottom, taking in her bacon sweats and tank top with a smirk.

"Oh, that's why!" Amy thought to herself.

"Why are you asking?" The girl asked in a smouldering tone.

Amy just gulped. Feeling her mouth go dry she tried to come up with an answer. "I wasn't… I mean… I don't know… Just making small talk… Being polite, you know." She said with an awkward shrug trying to seem nonchalant.

The girl laughed. "Being polite and trying to make small talk with a home invader? You may be crazier than I am 'Buffy'."

"I should be calling the police." Amy said.

That sobered the girl pretty quickly. "No, please! Look I didn't mean any harm and I never really took anything or did any damage. Please don't call the police."

Amy thought about it for a second. "Well… I guess you're right… And, I mean, you don't seem dangerous…"

"I'm not! I'm really not. I'm just a crazy impulsive DJ." The girl said.

"You're a DJ?" Amy asked with a dreamy expression effectively cutting the other girl off.

"Uhm, yeah…" The girl answered, confused by Amy's question until she saw the look on her face. Smirking she pulled out her wallet from her back pocket. "Look, I even have a card." She said as she handed the card over to Amy.

Amy swore she felt electricity run through her when their fingers touched and her bare skin broke out in goose bumps.

"Name's Reagan." The girl finally introduced herself. "And you are…?" she asked.

"Oh, erm, Amy, Amy Raudenfeld." Amy replied flusterdly.

"Nice to meet you Amy. You're not really gonna call the cops on me are you?" Reagan asked.

"Depends. Are you gonna stop breaking into people's houses?" Amy asked back.

"Well I don't need to any more do I?" Reagan replied in a flirty tone.

"Oh, and why's that?"

"Well I finally found a house with the complete Buffy DVD collection."