A/N: This was inspired by a gif-set I saw on Tumblr; it was a manipulation of the stair scene in 'Dial M for Mayor', and I got this idea and ran with it. Takes place sometime in season four, not a specific tag.
Disclaimer: I do not own the original characters of Castle.
New York City was abuzz with energy; the night was in full swing, and everyone seemed to be going out on this beautiful Saturday night. Richard Castle was one of those people- he and his date had just finished dinner at one of his favorite restaurants, and the night was still young.
Katherine Beckett was enjoying herself; agreeing to get dinner with Castle had been a good idea, she conceded, taking a sip of her wine glass, looking at her date over the rim of her glass. He looked incredibly handsome in his dark blue dress shirt with white t-shirt underneath, paired with black pants and his charming smile. She bit her lip, tapping her glass against her mouth, her eyes wandering over his face as he talked with the waiter for a moment, enjoying this chance to study him.
"The bill has been paid," Rick said, turning back to her, and she quickly set her glass down, trying not to flush as she averted her gaze from the neck of his shirt back up to his eyes. "And we are set to go."
"Perfect," she replied, offering him a smile as he held out his hand, helping her to her feet. He helped her into her jacket before offering her his arm which she took easily, letting him lead her out of the restaurant. Her free hand came up to twirl a few strands of her hair, a genuine smile on her face as they walked into the night air, a chorus of car horns and police sirens greeting them.
"What shall we do now, Detective Beckett?" he asked, a teasing grin on his face as he looked at her with those gorgeous eyes. She rolled her eyes, hand still linked through his arm as they strolled, enjoying the coolness of the air.
"Nightcap at my place?" she suggested, her tone a little less teasing and her eyes a little bit darker. Rick nodded, his face becoming a touch more serious, his eyes a little more heated, but with a slow burn instead of a hot flash.
He hailed a cab, finding one quickly. He rattled off Beckett's address easily, and she grinned in the darkness, biting her lip. The city lights flashed by, their breathing and occasional whispers the only sounds in the cab. Rick's hand closed around hers in the darkness, and it felt completely natural to allow her fingers to weave with his, fitting together perfectly.
When the driver pulled up to the apartment complex Rick paid before helping Kate out, shutting the door behind her. She slid her hand into his as they walked through the front doors, guiding him over to the elevator, the doors opening immediately to allow them inside. Once in the lift she hit the button for her floor, her stomach filled with butterflies as she felt Rick's fingers still in hers.
The elevator reached her floor, and they walked along, finding her apartment easily. Kate reached for her key, feeling so completely happy for the first time in a long time.
"This is what I imagined it would be like," she whispered, not really thinking about what she was saying. "When I heard you say-"
She realized what she'd said the moment it left her mouth, and she froze. Rick's fingers slowly untangled from hers, and her stomach dropped.
"Heard me say what, Kate?" he asked, his voice quiet but with a back-edge of pain, just enough to kill her. She looked towards the corner of the elevator, squeezing her eyes shut as she bit her lip. "Tell me. Please, Kate."
"When I heard you say 'I love you'," she whispered, her voice feeling like it was falling apart in her chest. Her words were met with only silence, and she pressed her hand to her lips.
"You heard me say I love you?" he asked, his voice so soft she could feel the tears just behind her eyes, burning. She turned around slowly, finding him staring at her, his voice going lower with each word. Kate just looked at him, her eyes full of so many conflicting emotions, feeling like she couldn't breathe. But he said nothing, waiting for her to speak. When she didn't, he continued. "You heard me. I waited to hear from you for the entire summer- two months of absolute torture, Kate, and you cut me out like I didn't even matter, like I meant nothing to you."
"What was I supposed to do Rick?" Kate asked, her voice breaking slightly on his name, looking at him with her large, dark eyes, pleading with him to understand. "I was a wreck- I had just been shot, for Christ's sake. I was still with Josh, and I didn't think I could hurt him because he'd done so much for me. And I was nowhere near ready to even begin to deal with how I feel about you, or what hearing those words did to me. Castle, I…"
"No, you had your chance Kate," he said, shaking his head as he began to turn. "I don't want to hear any more excuses."
"Rick, please!" Kate cried, beginning to walk towards him, feeling her heart break. "I can't…please, don't leave."
"Kate, I've waited months for you to tell me you remembered, that by some miracle you had heard what I'd said," Castle replied, turning around and facing her, his eyes unreadable and darkened. "But not like this. You've known all along- you knew in the hospital, when you told me that you needed some time. And I let you be, thinking that if I gave you space you'd come back to me. Now I need time- I can't do this Kate."
And Kate silently watched him walk away, her heart breaking with each step he took away from her, from this night, from any possibility of a relationship. The hopes and dreams she'd allowed herself to have laid crumbled at her feet, and she tried to shove her key into the lock, tears flooding her eyes and making it practically impossible to see.
Somehow she managed to get into her apartment, and the second she closed the door behind her she slid to her feet and let the tears fall.
Castle stopped coming to the precinct from the next day on. At first, Kate thought he'd just take a few days and then come back, everything going back to normal. But after a week she asked both Ryan and Esposito, and they said that Castle had called them to say he was done. He'd called them to say goodbye.
Kate tried to be hollow from then on; she did her work and solved the cases, but she wasn't feeling anything anymore. She didn't date, she rarely went out for beers with the boys, and she brushed off any attempt from Lanie to talk about it.
Little did she know that across town Rick wasn't fairing much better; in the month since leaving Kate's apartment, he hadn't done much more than mope around the apartment and stare at his computer screen, unable to write.
"Darling, you need to do something," Martha said, frowning at him as he looked listlessly out the window, a blank Word document open on his laptop screen.
"What do you need Mother?" he asked, not even looking at her as he spoke.
"Not for me, for you," she replied, stepping forward and shutting his computer. "You've been melancholy ever since you left the precinct. Why not go back? Richard, it's clearly where you belong."
"I can't go back Mother," Rick said, shaking his head as he looked down at his linked hands. "I can't."
"Richard, Kate made a mistake," Martha said, and he flinched ever-so-slightly at her name. "Humans often make mistakes- especially with those they love."
"I waited months," Rick whispered, his voice pained. "Months to get some kind of a response from her. And to learn she'd remembered from the start…Mother, how can I forgive her?"
"Because you love her, Richard," Martha said, her hand covering his and a smile coming over her lips. "And when you love someone you forgive them, because that is the only way you will be able to live without being miserable."
"I miss her, Mother," Rick admitted, looking at her with conflicted eyes.
"I know you do sweetheart," Martha said, sitting next to her son and wrapping him in a hug. "You need her in your life."
And Rick realized just how true his mother's words were.
The 12th precinct was just the way he remembered it, and he had the sense of coming home as he stepped off the elevator. In the bullpen was the team, bent over their desks. Beckett's back was to him, her long hair loose and around her face, and Ryan and Esposito were in the next set of desks. Ryan looked up when he heard footsteps, his face brightening with surprise before he grinned.
"Well look at what the cat dragged in."
Kate looked up at the words, turning slightly, and a million emotions crossed her face in a millisecond when she saw him.
"Castle," she said softly, trying to smile and failing as her face fell.
"Kate," he replied, his voice just as soft. Ryan and Esposito instantly knew this wasn't their show, and made themselves scarce as Kate turned slightly more fully towards Rick.
"Been a long time," she said, her fingers lacing together and tightening as she spoke. Rick nodded, scratching the back of his neck.
"I came to apologize," he said, and her eyes widened. She opened her mouth to protest, and he shook his head. "I was wrong to be so upset with you. You had your reasons for not telling me, and I understand. And I forgive you Kate, because I love you. But I understand if you can't forgive me in return."
Kate stood, completely stunned by his words. She swallowed, brushing her hair back behind her ear, hand shaking.
"There's nothing to forgive Rick," she said quietly, looking up at him and looking so incredibly vulnerable. "I should have told you. I was just so confused, and I didn't know what to say. But now I do."
He waited, looking at her curiously. She bit her lip, tentatively reaching for his hand.
"I love you too," she replied, her eyes growing brighter as she spoke, her fingers linking with his. Rick had no verbal response- all he did was pulled Kate closer and pressed his lips to hers- no undercover act this time, the genuine thing.
The kiss was simple and yet so complex, filled with emotion and knowledge and love and passion and desire and every other imaginable quality of a kiss. They broke apart smiling, Rick's arms around Kate and Kate looking like the happiest girl on the planet.
"This is what I imagined," he said in a low voice, for only her ears, as he held her close. "When I told you I loved you."
The only thing Kate could really do in response was kiss him again.
