My wedding! just what do I want? I sure as hell ain't having an Edwardian one, do I look like 'Anne of Green Gables'? Hell no! I know I love the classics etc, but there will be no themed wedding for me, it's just too twee. I need to speak to the groom, I think laughingly to myself.
Speaking of Edward, his wardrobe is so blah! I think while Miss Bossy Pants is gone it's time for a re-vamp so to speak! Geez, I'm on a roll today. I pull out my new cell, he insisted and well hell I really did need one. But it isn't all singing, all dancing just basic, text, call and point and shoot camera. What more did I need? Nada!
"Hello Love, for what do I have the pleasure of hearing you sweet voice? Who do I need to kill, maim or otherwise get out of your life?" Oh, he's in a very playful mood today. "You're very cheery today? My future husband!" I hear him growling lowly in his chest, ah he likes that! Duly noted, "I thought I'd pop over as I need to run some ideas by you, okay sweetie?" I tell him. dropping my voice an octave.
"I'll be waiting impatiently, for your arrival, baby" he purrs at me, shit he purred at me, oh yeah, I like this. "Ease up there tiger, I'll be a pile of goo on my bedroom floor if you keep that up. Then you'll have to come scrape me into a bucket to get me over there" I laugh, so does he and I realise this is the most relaxed and sexy phone call he's ever had with me. Could all this be due to no Alice!
As I'm getting dressed and ready to leave I keep thinking, did she really interfere to that much of a degree that nobody was spontaneous. That's just fucked up! Oops! good job Esme can't read minds I'd be in trouble. Yes, that's another thing that needs to be addressed, much as I love the Cullens they can be a bit insensitive and in your face sometimes. I'm not a little girl anymore who needs correcting all the time. I swear occasionally, sue me!
I'll have to speak to Edward about our future living arrangements! I think close but not on top of would be best for us. After all, I'm an only child and used to space, peace and quiet and well running my own home and life. Maybe a granny flat or pool house, type of thing as long as I had my own front door. Thinking back to our phone call makes me decide to put on a pair of skinny jeans and a fitted top with an open shirt over it. Casual but showing off the assets, as little as they are.
When I arrive at their place, yes he is waiting, pacing actually and he sweeps me into his arms and gives me the most passionate kiss to date. This I could get used to! I behave for once not pushing him as I don't want to spoil the moment, I let him dictate the pace and it's so worth it. "Wow, should I leave and come back, if that's the greeting I'll get?" I ask and he laughs and hugs me to him tightly. "No, stay just where you are! Where you belong, in my arms, my love" he whispers in my ear.
Today is turning out to be a great day and I hope it continues. We go into the house and Esme is bustling about, tidying and moving things around. "Bella dear! Would you like some coffee? How about a sandwich?" she asks in a very happy tone. My goodness, Edward's not the only one affected by Alice's departure. "Thanks, Esme that would be nice" I reply as we follow her into the kitchen.
"So what are your plans for today?" she quizzes. "Well! believe it or not, while I was getting dressed it dawned on me, that I've never seen Edward in any casual clothes and I've come to have a rummage in his closet so to speak!" I laugh as I tell her this. "Casual clothes? I'm not sure if he has any dear!" she replies perplexed, "I'm not sure any of us do except Jasper really".
So after finishing my brunch, Edward and I set off to have a good look at his clothes. "It's not that I don't like some of what you wear, baby but all the time! Hell, I wear jeans, why can't you?" I mention and he looks unsure but lets me rake around in his dresser first. Not a t-shirt in sight. Nope, nothing that would constitute as casual at all. Okay maybe a couple of the jumpers, but that's all.
So I turn to the closet and yet again, it's all dressy and stuffy. I'm bending over checking out his shoes when I hear it, just a little groan, then a growl! Ah, the jeans of course. I stay where I am, maybe wiggle my ass a little and he's right behind me, so I straighten up slowly till my back is to his chest. He's purring again, oh I love it! I suddenly realise for the first time ever I feel him, firmly against my ass and I tense slightly.
Shit! I think and sense he's about to move. My hands whip behind me faster than I knew I was capable of, they latch onto his upper thighs, just where his butt begins and I hold fast. "Don't move an inch Edward! This is not nineteen oatcake and I need to know, now and then you want and desire me as much as I do you! Just because we aren't having sex yet, doesn't mean I don't want to know that you are turned on by me! You have no idea how important that it to me!" I inform him passionately.
"I give myself away all the time, I know you can smell my desire sometimes. Yes?" I ask breathily "Yes" is all he says in my ear, "Well didn't you think I might need affirmation too? You know how unsure of myself I am. It's empowering to know, I can do that to you!" He encloses me in a firm hold, one arm under my bust the other across my hips. Basically pinning me against him as he rolls his hips against my ass.
"Never think I don't want you! Need you desperately! my love, I do all the time. I just never wanted to tease you and then do nothing. Did you think all this time that I didn't desire you, physically?" I nod sadly, "Oh god, nothing is further from the truth. I now see it was wrong to not let you feel how much, I yearn for you. Please forgive me?" He sounds so sad and defeated, I slowly turn in his embrace and hug him tightly, well as tightly as I can and he does the same.
We stay like this for several minutes and I rub gentle circles on his back with my fingertips. He does the same and we're swaying slightly to our own rhythm and I am so content. I can feel him purring again and I press my ear firmly to his chest as I listen. "I love that sound, it's so sexy, yet comforting at the same time" I murmur and he tells me it the sound of his love for me, his mate, that all males can only do it after they find their one true mate.
We sit on the bed and talk, about everything and nothing. We laugh and then we're serious and for the first time he's completely open and honest about his fears and hopes for our future. I ask why now? why has he said nothing before? and he drops his head and I know "Alice" we say together. She has been involving herself in every facet of our relationship and most of what's wrong, is her doing.
Telling him I that wouldn't want this, wouldn't like that. It was her idea not to let me feel how he physically felt about me. He is so ashamed that he listened to her, but I tell him he should have been able to trust his sister not to steer him wrong. I think he was speaking to the wrong sister, after all, Alice can't remember her human life, so how could she give him advice and he laughs with me and we are so relaxed.
Well, this explains many things. Okay, so we will start from scratch, getting to know each other, but properly this time. So tomorrow we are going clothes shopping, I need to see what he likes not Alice's ideas but Edwards, this should be fun, I hope!
