Oh my goodness.
I'm at a complete loss of words as to how I even came back to this story. Let's just say life has taken an interesting turn of events and I started reading this story and thought, well better keep on keeping on.
So for those that have read this before, I highly encourage rereading the first chapter as I have gone back and edited it a bit and added and taken away a few bits of information that caused confusion or inconsistencies.
I'm not sure who reads Shepard/Miranda fics or even Mass Effect fics since I've been outta the game awhile but I hope those who choose to read this, they enjoy it and please give me any feedback you have to offer. Thank you!
Location: Local Cluster, Sol system, Earth, London
Miranda Lawson glanced outside the moving shuttle long enough to see what the extravagant Earth city London had been reduced to. The sight of piles of rubble and debris that seemed to go on endlessly were cemented into her brain like a photograph. The death and destruction were unmistakable and to top it off everything they were doing to help save this city could all be for nothing. Only if the Crucible activates, then perhaps every species in the galaxy still had a chance. However, no one exactly knew what this "weapon" was capable of and if it even worked.
Putting her thoughts aside for the moment, Miranda looked away from the ruins and observed the woman sitting across from her, a former colleague from Cerberus. Miranda could possibly consider Johanna Kestrel a friend after everything they had been through. Perhaps her only true friend after all those years with Cerberus.
Johanna Kestrel, a witty 26-year-old who join Cerberus only a few weeks after her 15th birthday. She sparked the Illusive Man's interest after assassinating one of their targets. A target Miranda was assigned to kill. She was not very happy at the fact; however, when she filed the report, the Illusive Man tasked her to seek out Kestrel and recruit her. Johanna accepted, though she was not trained, but observed over a 5-week period due to already being trained in combat. In the end she was assigned to be partners with Miranda. She had thought of it as babysitting while Kestrel thought of it as bodyguard duty. In which Miranda explained she was capable of taking care of herself and didn't need "A smart-ass teenager with hormones following her around."
Nevertheless, neither of them knew just how much they needed each other until a mission they were on went wrong. A planet they were scouting for Cerberus had proven to not be what they once thought.
After a few months into her employment with Cerberus, Kestrel was sent to a planet with Miranda that was in the early stages of colonization. Akuze had proven to be an ideal planet to set up a new cell for research until something very unexpected occurred. Luckily Miranda and Kestrel were always ready for the unexpected; however, the same couldn't be said for the squad that went with them. During their exploration, a thresher maw had appeared, and they nearly didn't make it off planet. With their entire squad being killed, Miranda and Kestrel relied on each other and their abilities to escape. After they were off planet both women realized just how close they had come to failing. Though not too long after, Cerberus had planned a trap for Alliance Marines, causing everyone involved to parish in a fight against a thresher maw.
After nine years of working together and getting to know one another, they were separated when Miranda was put in charge of Project Lazarus after Commander Shepard's death. Kestrel was sent to Illium to keep an eye on the project from afar and watch after Miranda's sister, Oriana. However, when Oriana was moved to a planet undisclosed to her, she focused fully on Project Lazarus and watched their progress. Yet when the Normandywent through the Omega-4 Relay she lost all contact and couldn't track them. Days later the Normandy came back, but she knew what had happened.
The base destroyed, the crew intact, and Cerberus' second-in-command had resigned.
Kestrel couldn't decide if she was surprised or not. Miranda had definitely changed, but to resign from the organization that gave her a life? Miranda wasn't known to be irrational, she was pragmatic, but a huge enigma even to Kestrel who had known the woman for almost eleven years now. Something big had happened.
And Kestrel wanted to know.
Unfortunately, the Illusive Man had contacted Kestrel and told her he had an assignment for her but it would be postponed until further notice. As she waited to be called upon, she continued tracking Commander Shepard and the Normandy. Then the time came when everyone aboard the Normandy was forced to depart and Shepard was grounded.
Miranda had requested she be dropped off on Illium. She instructed Kestrel to pick her up at the docking bay, which Kestrel did. They went back to her apartment where Kestrel told her what the Illusive Man had tasked her to do. Kestrel was meant to assassinate Miranda after leaving Cerberus since Miranda knew some of Cerberus's top secrets; however, Kestrel confessed that she wasn't loyal to the Illusive Man or Cerberus. She had been instructed to infiltrate Cerberus as a mole and gather as much information about the organization and their projects as possible. Kestrel went on to tell Miranda that she was born into a life she had no control over and was forced to learn how to kill and infiltrate. She was trained by an organization that breeds spies to be contracted out to information brokers. The broker she had been sent to wanted intelligence on Cerberus and Kestrel did as she was told.
As she went on Miranda couldn't help but feel deceived and betrayed, but then Kestrel revealed that she was loyal to Miranda and respected her and stood up for what she believed in.
The advancement of the human race, but without the failures she had heard of throughout Cerberus. Miranda knew how to get things done without jeopardizing everything. Of course, there was a few controversial actions taken, but necessary.
As Kestrel continued, Miranda recognized that the woman saw something in Miranda that she didn't ever see in herself: not just her failures, but her accomplishments and how they would change the face of humanity forever. Commander Shepard was the only other person to ever see that and tell her.
Going on, she mentioned that bringing Shepard back to life is something once thought impossible, but thanks to Miranda, no longer was.
Miranda hadn't said anything at all during this and when Kestrel finished, she was at a loss of words. Kestrel had gone from being assigned to kill her, to being a mole, then to being loyal to her. This was one of the first times Miranda had no idea what to think. Kestrel caught on and continued.
She was going back to Earth to debrief the broker that she was contracted to work for. At this, Miranda was outraged.
All of her hard work, everything she had done during her time with Cerberus was to be the conversation during a debrief? No. She couldn't allow that, but Kestrel was persistent and explained that she had no choice in the matter and was sorry.
The next day she left, but not before telling Miranda to watch out for other assassins, especially Kai Leng, adding that the two friends might cross paths again one day. In which Miranda whole heartedly shot down and said the probability of that happening was extremely unlikely.
Once going their own ways Miranda took up watching after Oriana through school reports and talking to her, meanwhile dodging Cerberus assassins. While Kestrel had returned to Earth where she stayed in Washington D.C. and was given new instruction to infiltrate the Alliance and gather intel. So, she sneaked her way into Alliance records and assigned herself to a detachment that worked with human intelligence and on-site exploitation so that she would not be tied down to one location.
Yet, about six months after parting ways, Earth was invaded by the Reapers and Kestrel was forced to leave. She contacted Miranda as she was the only person that she knew for sure wasn't dead. Miranda said to meet on the Citadel which Kestrel did. They stayed on the Citadel together until Kestrel got word that a coup was taking place by none other than Cerberus and both women fled to Freedom's Progress. They took advantage of the planet being deserted when the Collector's abducted the colony and the fact that the Reapers have no need to invade it. While on the planet scavenging for anything they could, they found a couple of class-F fighters. They also found technology from the colonists, that they used to help track Miranda's sister Oriana and then she went missing.
Once the Citadel was declared safe for now, they left the fighters on the planet to be used later and returned to the Citadel. Miranda also messaged Shepard asking him to meet her in her apartment. He gave her Alliance resources that Kestrel was unable to obtain, and that Miranda needed to better track Oriana. While there, they were also reacquainting with each other.
Miranda would never admit it, but Kestrel knew that something was going on between the Commander and Miranda. Ever since Miranda's mission with the Collector's she seemed happier and more depressed all at the same time. Kestrel rationalized it was Shepard that made Miranda this way. She hadn't necessarily changed but opened up. It joyed Kestrel that Miranda found someone that cared her and saw the good things Miranda was capable of doing.
However, after their little "get together" on the Citadel, the Commander had to continue fighting the war. Miranda also had to continue looking for her sister, and with the Alliance resources promised to her from Shepard, she found Oriana.
This is when Kestrel and Miranda spilt up again.
Miranda went after Oriana and her father on Horizon while Kestrel searched the Citadel and found a few Ex-Cerberus agents willing to join them when the Alliance takes the fight to the Reaper's on Earth.
After Miranda was finished with Horizon and saved Oriana, she sent her to the Crucible where the Alliance looked after her. She instructed Kestrel to return to Freedom's Progress and prepare everyone she had acquired and the fighters to help in the fight for Earth.
When Shepard gave the green light for the fleets to proceed to the Sol system and engage the Reapers, Miranda, Kestrel and their squad did as well. Dodging beams of red, and other fighters, they were forced to break off and head to Earth's surface when Miranda's fighter was badly damaged. Kestrel followed her while the rest of the squad opted to keep their position and continue fighting.
Which is how they are on a shuttle now heading for certain death. They were transferred from operation Sword to Operation Hammer when their fighters were found by a shuttle crew on their way to Forward Operating Base BRAVO. Hackett told them to continue on to the FOB BRAVO and report to Captain Crismon for further instruction.
Miranda crossed the small space to sit across from Kestrel. She was looking at the ground, her forearms on her knees while she held her hands together.
Kestrel was only about 5'4" with an athletic build; however, her strength made up for her short stature. Light brown hair concealed by the black cloth balaclava she wore, tanned skin covered by the black reinforced carbon fiber full bodysuit she had on along with a tactical vest and light armor along her legs. One hazel-blue eye was shielded behind a one-eyed tactical lens and both eyes finally looking up at Miranda. On her back was a M-98 Widow accompanied by a M-99 Sabre and M-6 Carnifex. Along with an assortment of tech abilities and a cloaking device, Kestrel was one of the best infiltrators Miranda had ever met.
Kestrel was the first to break the silence, her voice calm and collected.
"So, this is it, huh?"
"I suppose so."
"You think we'll make it?"
Miranda had never really thought about if they would make it through this or not. Were they headed for certain death? Yes. Did Miranda want to live? For Shepard, yes. But did she think they would survive?
Most likely not.
"We'll get through this." She lied.
Kestrel gave a short laugh and shook her head.
"Others may think you're a good liar, but I don't."
"Of all the other times we've been on missions, now is not the time to be a pessimist."
Kestrel glared silently at the taller woman.
Miranda frowned, "We're not even going to be on the battlefield."
"Exactly. That's what makes it worse." Kestrel started to explain. "I didn't want to leave Earth, but I was told to, and I was also told that when I come back, I would fight these... these THINGS off the goddamned planet! Then I get here, and the Alliance wants me to play it safe! I feel useless. I want to fight, I want to be out there helping the cause!"
"Johanna. You're a smart woman, putting you on the battlefield and risk losing you is foolish." Miranda said calmly. "Once this war is over and done with, the galaxy is going to need minds like yours and mine to help rebuild. You're strong yes, but when you get your head out of your ass and use it, I see what you're capable of, and the galaxy needs you, whether you see it or not."
Kestrel gave her a light smile. "I see your point."
"Then you'll understand why it's the best strategic move for us to be away from the action this time around."
"Yeah, yeah. No matter how much I don't like it."
Kestrel gave a deep sigh and they both lapsed into silence again.
"We're about a minute out from the LZ." The shuttle pilot said from the cockpit.
"Good, I hope their expecting us." Kestrel muttered.
Miranda stood up and walked toward the shuttle door and looked over at Kestrel. She got up as well and stood next to Miranda.
"Ready?" Miranda asked looking at Kestrel.
"As always."
They opened the shuttle door and observed the surrounding area.
"Now, when we land, we will be meeting with a few Alliance higher-ups and coordinating strikes against Reaper forces."
"So, as of now we really know nothing?" Kestrel asked.
"Yes," Miranda braced herself with the shuttle's wall, "We will be briefed upon landing."
"It's a good thing we can think on our feet."
"Yes, well, even though we're not on the front lines we need to keep our guard up. The Reapers could very much land right on top of us and attack if they really wanted to."
"Understood."
Soon the shuttle slowly lowered down to the ground and both women hopped out. As they looked around a group of conversating Marines walked by.
"So, I head Commander Shepard landed not too long ago." One of the soldiers said.
"Hopefully he'll be able to do the impossible." Another commented.
"Of course he will, he's Commander Shepard, the Lion of Elysium."
Miranda found herself paying rapt attention to their conversation when they mentioned Shepard's name. She couldn't help but think of their time together at the Citadel.
So, he made it. Good, we're going to need him.
Kestrel noticed Miranda in a sort of daze and lightly nudged her arm.
Miranda snapped back to reality and focused on Kestrel.
"Let's get this show on the road." Kestrel said as she nodded her head toward the building in front of them.
"Agreed, let's get moving."
Location: Local Cluster, Sol system, Earth, London, Alliance Forward Operation Base BRAVO
The FOB had been a 10-story building that was once occupied by a law firm. For the most part, it was left untouched by the Reaper forces but looked as though a tornado had blown around inside. Most likely due to the mad rush of trying to get out of the structure during the initial Reaper attack. Otherwise it was a normal building with offices that included desks, chairs, tons of papers strewn around, bookcases, and even some pictures of family and friends.
Miranda and Kestrel had been directed to the top floor. Miranda understood why the top floor had been chosen: good view of the surrounding area especially since the other builds were relatively low. However, Kestrel pointed out that if the building were to come under attack, they would need to go down 10 flights of stairs to get out. Though Miranda saw her point, the Reapers had been pushed away from the area and they needn't worry but should still keep their guard up.
As they approached a door guarded by two Marines, it opened to reveal a large room whose sole purpose could only have been to be a conference room. Though now tons of Alliance tech were set up and a large holographic interface was dead center of the room were a table should no doubt have been. High ranking Alliance officers were scrambling about, orders were being given through communication devices and a few were looking out the giant shattered window on the far side of the room.
"Ah, Ms. Lawson, Lieutenant Kestrel. Good to see you both made it. Admiral Hackett sent word you would be coming."
The woman who addressed them was wearing the rank of Captain and was obviously under a considerable amount of stress if her tone was of any indication.
Miranda turned her head to the right slightly to ask quietly in Kestrel's ear, "You're a Lieutenant?"
Kestrel acted as though nothing had happened.
"It's a long story."
As the Captain stepped forward Kestrel brought herself to attention and saluted the Captain. As she returned the gesture, she also stuck her hand out and Kestrel accepted it.
"God knows we need all the help we can get." As she moved on to Miranda, she was hesitant at first, but offered her hand out and Miranda shook it. "Captain Crismon, Alliance sixth fleet."
"From what I've heard Captain, the sixth fleet has been waiting for this moment for quite awhile now." Kestrel added.
"And I hope that waiting paid off. The whole fleet has been anxious to see action since this war started; however, I'm not sure everyone was entirely ready for what we're up against."
Miranda nodded in agreement. "Cerberus and Geth are a nasty bunch, but the Reapers are the toughest enemy in this war. In the end, it might just be all about survival."
The Captain turned to Miranda and nodded. "Agreed, so let's help our soldiers survive then, shall we?"
As the three walked to the holographic interface showing all of London and the different sectors, a Marine walked in and approached the Captain and saluted.
"Yes, Chief?" The Captain asked as she returned his salute.
"Ma'am, Commander Shepard requests to speak with a Miranda Lawson via the Quantum Entanglement Communicator."
"Of course. Ms. Lawson, follow Chief Langley, he with take you to the QEC."
Miranda glanced at Kestrel and silently told her to stay, then followed the Marine to an enclosed room.
"You know how to work these I assume?" The Marine asked.
"Yes." Miranda stated drily as she gave the man a cold stare.
Not shaken by her coldness, the Marine went on. "Alright, I'll leave you to it then, just come out when you're done." Then he left the room.
Once the door was shut Miranda activated the QEC and Commander John Shepard was standing in front of her, albeit via hologram, but she was glad to see at least one final time.
"Commander, good to see you. Hope you don't mine me crashing this little party of yours."
"Not at all. Feeling better?"
"Much. Got a few sideways glances from Alliance brass when I offered to help, but they can't be choosy at this point."
"I'm glad you made it."
"Shepard, I.." Miranda hesitated for a moment, not sure what to say. "I wanted to say good-bye."
Was this truly good-bye? She thought to herself.
As she watched him, a mix of genuine confusion and concern was on Shepard's face and he asked, "What do you mean?"
"If we both come back from this at all, everything will be..." She paused for a fraction of a second, "different."
"Sure, everything will change," Shepard was now pacing, "but, on our terms." He turned back around and walked back up to her. "We've been running 'till now Miranda." He looked directly at her to emphasis his point. "It has to stop."
"I understand. I just wish... I was there. With you."
"Me too"
Miranda turned to the side to avoid his gaze, her voice soft. "I don't know what to say."
The hologram 'stepped' closer to her, "Don't say good-bye."
She turned her head to look him in the eyes, "Then finish this Shepard... and find me."
Satisfied with what he heard, "I will, I promise."
Miranda leaned back on her left hip and looked at Shepard for what could be the last time ever. Wishing to imprint everything about him in this very second into her brain.
Then she cut the channel.
I promise.
They had never promised anything to one another before. Not during their mission to destroy the Collectors, nor during the Reaper war. Somethings were better left unsaid, especially with the way things were right now, and Shepard's promise did nothing to put her at ease.
I honestly don't expect him to come back. I'm not sure I expect myself to survive this either,she thought to herself. Yet, there was still a sliver of hope buried deep within her that hoped he would keep his promise and come back to her. Where he belonged.
Squeezing her eyes shut and pinching the bridge of her nose with her hand, she tried to refocus herself and prepare herself for what might be the longest and perhaps last day of her life.
With thoughts of Shepard, she chose to not think of the latter, mentally promising that she would come back to him as well.
Because she'd be damned if she was going to die on this god forsaken planet when they were so close to winning.
Thanks for reading! Hope to update with the 2nd chapter soon.
