Preface

Walking down the halls of St. Peterson's School for Girls for the first time is… well a little scary or maybe just gives you an anxious feeling. When you are walking down the halls for the ninth year in a row it feels worse. Most likely you're really tired of being there. You just want school to be over with. You want you grow up and settle down. Growing up maybe something you can't avoid, but maybe you should try and make it farther away. I dated an older guy, trying to grow up, but I realize now that I should've focused on the present. I should've focused on being my age. Being fifteen.

Chapter 1

My life is so… tiring, exhausting, stupid, ridiculous, but if anything, not normal.

I am 15 years old, and I live with my twin brother Andrew, who I look nothing alike. He is the one who takes control in the family, and has ever since we were 7. Until then, my mother and father had set up nannies for us, which weren't very affective. My brother, even then, was the one who did everything. He always made sure that he tucked me in at night, and made sure I was asleep for my nap before he took his.

My parents were never there. They aren't in any home movies you can dig up in our home. You could go through our whole house and most likely find nothing, not any proof that my parents are alive let alone related to us. The whole time they are on Paradise Island in an enormous house, filthy rich just because they own a whole line of Cutler hotels. Of course I was not allowed to have any part in their rich lives. The farthest to rich I got, was the monthly $10,000 check that my brother and I receive from my parents to cover grocery bills and other needs.

My brother and anyone else who knows me knows I love to shop. That's why whenever we're done grocery shopping for the month and paying other bills, my brother gives me the remainder of the $10,000 and lets me go on a monthly shopping spree with my very best friend, Stephanie Trinel. We've been friends since we were 2, and I got to go to one business meeting with my parents. Steph was there with her parents too, and shortly after, Mom and Dad moved us to Swan Valley, Idaho where the Trinel's also lived.

Stephanie is the kind of person that when you look up best friend in the dictionary, on the internet, or wherever, her picture would take up the whole page, screen etc. She's most defiantly a blonde, she proves herself worthy all the time, even if her natural hair color is auburn. Steph's been through just about everything, whether it's a problem with me, or a problem with her. She's a professional on getting over harsh breakups, considering she's been through a couple herself and…well… I've had my share too.

When it was my turn, Steph always was there to comfort me, and ready to beat the crap out of the guy, no matter who it was. She didn't care. If he hurt me she thought she'd repay the deed and hurt him, only physically instead of emotionally. Well, now that I think of it the guys spent an awful long time in the bathroom's corner rocking back and forth crying afterwards…

It was the first day of 9th grade, freshman year. The whole day, was going by so slow, and it seemed like forever before lunch came. I sat next to Stephanie, being really quiet, and she knew something was up. "What's wrong, Aud? Is freshman year already getting to you?" I smiled and shook my head. I had a headache, and was anxious for the school day to end We sat quietly again until the bell rang. I had English next, and with it came the teacher who didn't care about anything. She could care less if you were there, let alone paying attention.

When I walked in her classroom, Mrs. Eggleston was sitting at her desk and next to her was a really cute guy with blonde hair. He was talking to the teacher and laughed out of nowhere, showing me he had the cutest dimples and a great personality.

Stephanie nudged me, thinking the same thing I was, and I laughed at her. "Something funny?" I looked shocked. The cute guy was talking to me. What was I supposed to do? I've never been around any guy in school before, considering it was a girl's school. "I'm the new student teacher, Ricky Fletcher. You are?" I took a deep breath before answering.

"Audrea Cutler." I managed to say. His blue eyes lit up when he talked and were quite distracting.

Mrs. Eggleston introduced herself, and then told us that Ricky would be teaching for the rest of the year. While she was talking, Ricky kept smiling at me. I turned towards Steph a few times and she looked impressed. I didn't understand why because nothing had happened yet between us, but I took it as me just having a blonde moment.

Finally class along with the Ricky torture ended. I was relieved, and when I got outside the door, Stephanie busted up laughing. "He likes you! You're going to have a boyfriend on the first week of school, while the rest of us dream. That's the only down about going to a stupid all girl's school. No guys. No guys except for Mr. Fletcher that has an enormous crush on you!" I rolled my eyes at her and smacked her on the head. The truth was I knew she was right. The way he looked at me made me feel special, in a weird way. I just didn't want to get into a relationship where others would think I was using him to get good grades. I thought he was cute, but didn't know anything about him yet.

Chapter 2

Stephanie and I looked forward to English class just about every day for the next couple weeks, and it seemed to really amuse her how Ricky would smile gently at me, during random points in the period. Okay, I admit it, it made me sort happy too. I mean, Ricky was what, seventeen? That's a whole two years difference, and truth be told, I hadn't had many guys really look at me that way that were older than me. Well, really I guess I hadn't had any guys look at me that way. Ricky was the first. Maybe the last.

I could hear other girls gossiping down the halls every day after school ended, talking about how Ricky tries to hide his obvious flirting with me. I just blushed and put my head down. Could he get in trouble for this? He wasn't officially a teacher, and he was only seventeen, but something about the situation seemed wrong to me. That made me feel horrible because most of it felt right. I felt like I was meant to go out with Ricky. Like it was my destiny or something.

One day, about two weeks into the school year, my cheerleading friend, Kate, approached me while I was walking to Ricky's class. "I hear you've got something going on with Mr. Fletcher," she said, and I shook my head.

"I don't know why people are talking about it so much. Nothing's going on. I mean, I haven't even talked to him outside of class or anything."

"Maybe it's the way that he looks at you when he's talking about something happy? Or the way his eyes light up when you walk in the room? I am in your class too, Audrea. I see his reactions to you. He likes you, a lot." I just shrugged. I didn't know exactly how to respond to that. Who am I kidding? I don't know how to respond to most things involving Ricky.

When we walked in the room, I found myself disappointed that Ricky wasn't in it. I wanted to slap myself across the face, because I knew that this was becoming ridiculous. I couldn't become involved with Ricky, I mean Mr. Fletcher. It wasn't right. He was going to become a teacher. Imagine how that will affect how I would be treated at school. Girls would most defiantly, and I'm talking people like Regina George in Mean Girls, try and get me to get Ricky to change grades for them. I wouldn't do it, but yet I couldn't either. I was fantasizing about something that would never happen. Or at least I didn't think it would.

When I picture myself with a husband and kids, I'm just like most teenage girls. I want a big, strong man to help around the house. One who will take care of me, protect me, and give me plenty of support and love when I need it most. Was Mr. Fletcher any of those things? Not likely. I didn't even know anything about him!

Stephanie caught me day dreaming in art class the day after Kate and I had our little talk. I was thinking about life in general. A break my mind really needed to get away from thinking about Ricky so much. "Hey," she said, sitting down next to me. "Are you alright? You've been a little distant lately. I think you're really needing this upcoming 'Mall 'till you Fall'." I smiled. Stephanie really knew how to make me feel better, no matter what was happening.

"I'm alright, Steph. It's just… I was thinking. Where do you think my life is going to take me after I graduate?" She looked at me like I was a psycho.

"You really want to know want to know what I think? I think that your life is going to take you somewhere you never expected. Maybe you'll even let the secret out of the bag. Maybe we'll both fly to Paris and open our own clothing line every teenage girl in the world wants to own a piece of. I think you decide that." My eyes opened in amazement.

"Is this brilliant advice coming from the same Stephanie Trinel that doesn't know the difference between a newspaper and the news?" I asked, laughing my head off. This was what I needed. I needed my best friend to make me laugh, and I needed to be happier.

Chapter 3

At the end of the day about a month later, I was outside getting ready to get in my brother's car, when Ricky approached me. "Audrea!" I looked at my brother in an embarrassed way. He just chuckled and turned to talk to his friend Brian who was also in the car. I turned around and looked at Ricky again.

"Hey! What's up?" I asked trying to be casual. I kind of liked him, and even though Stephanie thought he like me too, I couldn't be sure, plus… his metallic blue eyes were about to give me a conniption, the way they were staring at me, kind of like he was processing exactly what I looked like that moment in his mind.

"So… how are you liking English class? Am I doing an okay job teaching?" he started, and I smiled.

"English is now my favorite class, and I'm not just saying that either. I think I'm doing halfway decent in it… aren't I?" He nodded.

"If I remember correctly, yes. I think you have an A, don't you?" I shrugged.

"Andrew checks my grade. Daddy thinks he's my daddy," I said and rolled my eyes.

"Huh?" Ricky responded and I laughed. I was really connecting with him it seemed.

"My brother, Andrew thinks he's my dad. I was being sarcastic when I said 'Daddy'." He nodded as he processed this thought, but I could still see he was confused. His eyebrows above those gorgeous blue eyes were creased.

"I'm probably really scaring you. I warn you, I'm not really a normal teenage girl. I actually have OSTD."

"What's OSTD? I've heard of OCD, but not OSTD."

"Obsessive Shopping Teenage Disorder," I stated, laughing almost immediately. His face broke out into a smile as he laughed along.

After about a half an hour, I turned to my brother who was just about asleep in the driver's side of the car, so I hurried things along. "Hey, I've got to get going. My brother and his idiot friend are waiting on me, sorry," I said, breaking the great conversation.

"That's alright, I probably should get going too. I've got some papers to grade. Is your brother the one that is driving? He barely looks old enough. Sweet ride, though."

"He's the same age as me… we're twins. My parents paid extra for him to get his license early. I'm not allowed though. Daddy's afraid his little girl will run off on him." He looked at me sweetly, and I got nervous. It felt like he was going to make a move with my brother sitting right there.

"Do you want to go out sometime, just the two of us? Or will your parents be like; no way he's too old for you?" I took a deep breath. Explaining that your parents don't live with you and it's just you and your brother to a guy kinda makes you feel weird, like you're not normal, because you hardly ever see your parents, when hundreds of kids come home to them everyday.

"Actually I'd like that. My parents don't care; they don't live with me anyways. It's up to my brother who I date. Is that weird?" He laughed like I was making a joke.

"I don't know… maybe? So I'll call you?" He smiled at me again, showing his adorable dimples, and I glanced over at my brother. I grabbed a pen and paper out of my bag, and wrote down my number. "Thanks," he mumbled. Then I waved and got in the car.

Chapter 4

"Who was that, and better yet why is he at an all girl's school?" I heard Andrew say once I got in the car. (Another deep breath for me and some crossed fingers)

"His name's Ricky. He's the new student teacher, and don't freak out, cause' he's only two years older than me. He uh… asked me out and I said yes." I heard Brian snicker from the front seat. "Okay, Brian, answer this, WHAT IS SO FUNNY?" I yelled from the backseat. He laughed.

"No need to raise your voice, little girl!" I looked at him with the death stare, and even though he wasn't looking, I knew he could feel it. "I just don't think you could score a seventeen year old guy. You're not that cute. No, strike that you're not that HOT. Most girls always score on the cute factor, not the hot scale."

"That's enough you two. Aud, do you want to go out with him? If so you know the drill." I sighed.

"Andrew, why in the world would I say yes to the guy if I didn't like him? Yes, I want to go out with him, and I know." Brian laughed again, but I ignored him. I thought he was the most obnoxious guy I'd ever met. He had a girlfriend, or so he said, but still flirts with others. It didn't make sense. I've seen him to flirt with other girls, but I can't see him as the type to actually 2-time.

I used to have the biggest crush on Brian when I was 9. He of course, was 9 then too, and when my brother spilled about my secret crush on him he freaked. He's teased me ever since, even though I've gotten over him, actually I've more than gotten over him, because we can't stand to be in the same room. I hate him. I think it was because last year, we were at the beach and he kissed me, while my brother went chasing some 20 year old. Then he tried to ask me out and I freaked. I've hated him ever since.

When we pulled in our driveway, Brian was acting ridiculous, and opened my door for me. It gave me the perfect chance to hit him with my purse, which was filled to the rim with things of all sorts. His response was just as I wanted, an "Ouch! Quit it, Aud!" I laughed and walked into my house.

Just as I walked into my room, my phone rang. I didn't answer it, and figured they'd try the house phone if they wanted to talk bad enough, and just as I suspected the house phone rang three minutes later.

"Hello?" I asked into the fuzzy, pink, wireless phone my brother got me for Christmas last year. I'd been eyeing it for months, and when I opened it on Christmas day, I squealed with delight. "Audrea? This is you right?" I was shocked. I didn't expect Ricky to call me this soon.

"Yes, Ricky it's me. I'm the only girl in the house remember? This might sound weird, but lots of people call me Aud, so you can too. I really don't like my name; it makes me sound foreign, like British or whatever."

"Ha! Nice…Aud. So what are you doing this weekend? You up for dinner and a movie?" I paused, and he must have taken it the wrong way. "Aud, if you don't want to it's alright."

"Huh, what? No, it's not that, I was concentrating on putting my hair up. Sorry, what were you saying?" I heard him laugh.

"Somehow I don't take you as a girl that puts her hair up. You seem more of a tomboy." Now it was my time to laugh.

"Dinner and a movie sounds great, you really need to get to know me better. I'm as girly as Paris-" I stopped. He probably didn't know anything about Paris Hilton being girly. I made an excuse for stopping so suddenly quick. "Ouch!"

"Are you okay?" He seemed worried, and it aggravated me. We weren't even really together, and he was worrying. Most guys don't do that.

"I'm fine so what time do you want to pick me up?" I heard a crash on the other end. "What was that?"

"Uh… my 12 year old brother, Rodney, broke a window with a baseball from outside. It was my room's window."

"Aw! Poor window! Hey there's a kid outside my neighbors yard who just broke a window. Where do you live?"
"Uh…Unitra Rd. Why?" He was a student teacher, yet clueless.

"That's my road! I live in the tan brick house next door."

"Oh, cool! You can probably see my window from here can't you? Um… hi?" I looked out my window, and there he was, waving at me. I waved back, and told him I had to go. He asked me if he could drop by later, and I said I didn't care. I was going to be lonely anyways. Brian was staying the night with my brother, so I would be by myself all night treating myself to manis and pedis, until now.

I ate, and then walked upstairs to do my nails. I had my hands done, and one set of toes done, when the doorbell rang. I tried to hurry going downstairs with wet toenails, but I tripped and fell the rest of the way down. I looked up, and Brian, Andrew, and Ricky were all staring at me.

Chapter 5

"Ouch!" I heard Brian laugh, and the rest looked at me. It hadn't crossed my mind what happened to my toes, and when I looked down I screamed. "I just spent like 2 hours doing these toes and now they're ruined! Andrew, can you order me some more Vorra Terrane nail polish? Please?" Ricky probably thought I was nuts by then, and I think I proved my point about being a girly-girl. I tried getting up on my own, but after two tries, I figured there's no use.

After Ricky helped me up, I introduced him to Andrew. My leg was really sore, so when Brian made a smart comment and I tried to chase after him just so I could beat him upside his head, I was really slow. "Can we go upstairs now? No more falling down the stairs, I promise!"Andrew laughed and nodded.

When we got up into my room, he gave me a hug. "Are you okay? You had me worried when I saw you tumbling down the stairs, and it didn't help when you screamed. I thought you broke your leg!" I smiled at him.

"I get that way with Vorra Terrane nail polish. It's $50 a bottle, and French." He shook his head.

"How bad's the damage?" I looked at him confused and sat down on my bed.

"No harm done, for now. I think I'll live. As for your window, I don't think it'll make it. Take a look." He looked and laughed.

"My brother is so dead!" I laughed with him and we talked. After a while he put his arm around me which felt weird, but at the same time, I liked it. I've always been the kind of girl who liked to cuddle. It's just my thing.

We talked about the kind of music we liked and which movies with Brad Pitt in them should be banned. Surprisingly there were an awful lot of banned movies! When we went back downstairs, my brother and Brian were watching the basketball game.

"Aw! Is the love fest over?" Brian asked us. I'd liked to choke him! He was very immature for his age, and right then that seemed like the logical thing to do. Instead, I rolled my eyes at him and gave Ricky a hug goodbye.

Once he was gone, I walked towards Brian and sat next to him on the couch. He had his arms stretched out on the top of the couch so it looked like and felt like he had his arm around me. For a second, I considered that he might be enjoying it, so I jumped up fast. "You're an idiot Brian! Why would you say something like that? I mean this was his first time here and you made me look like a… spoiled little rich girl who gets everything she wants! Ugh!" In return all Brian did was laugh.

"Aud, you made yourself look like that! You were trying so hard to impress him, bragging about that nail polish. Seriously Audrea get a grip!" I looked at my brother who in my favor smacked Brian upside his head. He needed it because so far, all I was seeing of Brian was he was a self-centered idiot.

"Whatever, Brian. Why are you here anyways? I mean seriously don't you have a house that you live in or is this your home? You are always here! GO AWAY!" I ran upstairs and walked in my room. To my surprise Ricky was looking out his window waving like a small child. I smiled and sat in my desk.

Chapter 6

I fell asleep after ordering new Jimmy-Chou's online and woke up to knocking on my door. "Come in!" I yelled after coming to.

I was staring at the door waiting for whoever was at my door to come in. At once the door opened and to my surprise stood Stephanie. "Hey, Aud! What's going on?"

"Nothing, why? Wait…my brother told you, didn't he? He told you that I totally had Ricky in my room like 2 hours ago?" She looked shocked.

"Ricky, the student teacher was in your room? This is soooooo big Aud! We totally have to tell your brother. Wait he knows? He knows about Ricky being two years older and having an insane crush on you? That is… relieving. If he didn't know he would freak wouldn't he?" I rolled my eyes. She was very…special. I think that is a great word for it…special. Stephanie always stated the obvious, even if it was already stated, directly or indirectly. I had to laugh. She always had a way of making you happier even if you were on cloud nine.

"Yes, Andrew would 100% freak! Anyways yes, Ricky was here, and he's probably staring at us right now so just stay calm. I've been trying to do that all night. He's been looking at me every time I look out that window. He uh... lives next door. I had no idea and his little brother broke a window and he wanted to come over so I let him and so did Andrew and when they met I fell down the stairs after my Vorra Terrane nail polish broke and now I'm hyperventilating!" I breathed heavily. Breath it will all be okay. Ricky doesn't think you're a total loser, I told myself. If only I believed it.

"The Vorra Terrane broke, the white glittery? Uh...I forgot to tell you something! They discontinued it! You can only get it by request only. I ordered 6 boxes when I heard. I figured we can split it."

"Thank you! You are an angel sent from heaven! This is why I consider you my sister, you are always there for me including now when...help! He's looking again!" I smiled as I looked out the window before opening it. He couldn't really do the same... his was broken.

"Ricky! Do you want to come over again? Uh, Stephanie wants to talk...to you. I'm really not sure why. You can come over anytime!" He nodded and walked into his door hitting his head. He finally got up laughing.

"You're not the only one who's insane and just about kills themselves!"He laughed at himself again, and I looked at Stephanie, "I'll be right over." He continued, "Tell Stephanie to get her speech ready. As soon as I get my little brother off my back, I'll be there. Rodney, GET OFF OF MY BED!" I giggled, which is something I never do. Stephanie must have noticed because she made a noise sounding like Betty Rubble off the Flintstones.

We waited a while in my room until I heard a strange noise coming from his house. It sounded like…well I really don't know! It could've been a monster sucking the life out of a squirrel for I all know. When I looked out the window, Ricky was looking at me with an undetermined look on his face.

"Audrea, we have a problem. I can't get rid of my brother. My mom is making me babysit while she goes looking for a new china set. I'm not allowed to leave him at home. Sorry about this!"

"Don't worry about it! You can still come over…bring your brother! I love kids. Just make sure he doesn't break any windows ok?" Ricky nodded.

"No promises, but I'll be there." He left his room his little brother following him like they were part of a school of fish. Stephanie and I waited a couple more minutes until finally the doorbell rang yet again. At once my mind went to the fact that just about everyone who came over was here to see me. That's just how awesome I am!

Chapter 5

Stephanie ran down the stairs while I was busy thinking, and as soon as I realized where she had gone I chased after he screaming. "STEPH! GET-OUCH! BACK HERE!" I stepped on a toothpick that was at the top of the stairs. Did I mention I was accident prone? If I didn't, you know now.

I found myself wondering again. Who would put a toothpick on the top of the stairs? I can give you a hint. His name rhymes with Orion or cryin'. Narrowing it down to…it starts with a B. Brian, that's who. I can't believe I used to like that creep. I don't see how any girl could like him. He was selfish and arrogant, not to mention a player, and I don't just mean on the field either. He cheats. I haven't even seen his "girlfriend" so I'm not sure if she exists or not. According to Andrew and Brian, her name is Nicole, captain of the cheer squad of Henson. I imagined her to be like one of the "Mean Girls", evil, demining, and torturous. She was "mean" because of Brian. Brian tortured her like she tortures the world. She had to get her anger out somehow, and that's why she took it out on others.

"Hello Stephanie, uh…Aud. This is Rodney. Make sure everyone has a careful eye on him. He likes to, how you say, break things. Are you sure you want him in here? He could break all your fancy nail polish." I laughed.

"My nail polish is locked away with a pink fuzzy lock. It matches my phone." As soon as I said that, heavy laughter filled the air. He was trying to scare me. He was trying to scare Rodney. He was trying to scare all of us. Who is this he you may ask? Give you one guess and I'm sure you'll get it right. The one person who makes fun out of my pain, and the person who puts toothpicks on the top of the stairs. The same person who put gum in my hair, my first day of preschool and everyone laughed at me. That was the same year everyone noticed my special abilities in gymnastics. That was the same year I started cheering.

"Brian Michael Winters! I absolutely 100% amen HATE YOU! UGH!" I stomped off into my room slamming the door behind me.

Andrew must have felt bad about his best friend making me cry because he knocked softly on my door. "Sis, you okay? If you want I can make him go home so you and Stephanie can be alone with Rudolph." I shook my head.

"It's RICKY! Don't make him go home. You'll be bored out of your mind, its ok. He can stay, really." I smiled at him so he understood that I meant what I had said.

"You sure? I know Brian can be…ign-" I cut him off.

"Not to mention stupid, idiotic, immature, and many other words. Just tell him to leave me alone and Stephanie and especially RICKY!" He nodded.

"Ok, will do. How long is he staying?" I shrugged.

"I don't know. I'm not even sure if he's still here! I mean after I ran up the stairs crying he probably thinks of me as an idiot." Andrew rolled his eyes.

"He won't think that. He'll understand if he's around here a lot. Brian's always here and soon he'll get to know him and he'll believe you. I promise. Do you want me to get them up here for you? Brian and I will leave." I nodded, taking a deep breath as I watched him walk downstairs and come back up with Rodney, Ricky, and Stephanie.

We all made small talk until Andrew and Brian left, but afterwards things got serious quick when Stephanie's speech came forward. "Listen. You are two years older than my best friend. Two years older than me. She likes you. You like her. She's a good girl. You…I'm not so sure. Just be good to her. Be good to her and I will be good to you. You hurt her. I will make you miserable for the rest of your life. You can count on that. I don't joke around when it comes to Audrea. The only time I will most likely do that is her Sweet Sixteen party. I have saved some moments up into my brain to torture her on that one special day." She laughed, but then frowned. "Remember what I said. I mean it, too." Ricky nodded in agreement.

"I would never dream of hurting a small fragile object like Audrea." He laughed along with me only in my mind I thought, fragile? Surely I am NOT fragile. I'm as tough as Donald Trump. I should know. I've met him. He just doesn't know my relation to my parents. He thought I was their niece. In reality of course, I, am their daughter. My mind wandered around, looking for the truth. Was I fragile? I couldn't find that answer. That's something I would have to decide on my own.

Chapter 6

"Aud? You okay? EARTH TO AUDREA!" Suddenly my mind found its place back inside my head as Stephanie and Ricky looked closely, trying to figure out what was wrong. "Aud? Is everything alright in there?" I laughed, and we continued our conversation until Brian and Andrew came home. We were all sitting on my bed laughing when I heard a knock on my door, probably Andrew, I thought. "COME IN!" I said as I was continued to laugh. The door swung open and to my surprise stood Brian.

"What do you want?" I asked, and emphasis on you. He rolled his eyes and walked to my bed putting his arms around me. Quickly, I pulled away and gave him the death stare.

"I just wondered how you guys could be laughing while babysitting. I mean, I do that just about everyday and all I get is to see her in pain. That gets old after a while. I'm thinking of moving it to Stephanie. Would that work? I think that will work most defiantly."

"So my pain isn't enough? You have to make my best friend miserable too? You're an idiot, Brian now get out of my room." Just then Ricky stood up, Rodney following him.

"Aud, I think I'll get going. I gotta feed this kid something or he'll chew into your drywall. I'll see you tomorrow at school ok?" I nodded and watched him walked outside my room, down the stairs, and out the door to walk over to his house.

The following day I had everything ready when a knock came upon my front door. "Good morning. Would this delightful young miss like a ride to school?" I laughed and nodded.

"That would be great. I'll be right back though, I got to tell my brother."

"That's fine. Would you like me to take your stuff to the car?" I smiled.

"If it's not too much, sure. I will be just a second." He took my bag and I hurried upstairs to tell my brother.

On the way to school, Ricky kept looking at me. Most of the time I ignored him but then his hand reached around and found its way to the back of my chair. It made me squeamish and I sunk down farther into the seat.

When we arrived, no one was there but teachers. I forgot for a second that I would be early considering he, himself, was a student teacher. I got out of the car, and got my stuff out of the back. He had his computer bag strapped around him, like usual.

When everything was ready, I watched as he grabbed for my hand and led me inside into the classroom. We were an hour early so we just talked and laughed while sitting on top of desks.

The warning bell finally rang, and when it did I said my goodbyes for that moment and headed to my first class.

"Oh sorry, Melissa. I didn't see you there." She smiled her wonderful, perfect, white smile at me. She was the head cheerleader, and unlike the ones you see in movies, she was really nice. We were good friends, not like me and Stephanie of course, but we were friends. "It's fine." She said, and walked into the classroom.

The day went on, and I watched as a new student from Iowa found her way through each class with ease. Mrs. Eggleston put her on the other side of me during English, but I didn't pay much attention to her, I was too busy looking at Ricky. It seemed like every 2 seconds, he was staring at me, and I could feel it when he was, because my face started blushing. It looked as if I had an allergic reaction to the learning from the room, because every word he was teaching made me blush more and more.

Finally the bell rang and I waited for Stephanie to put all her notebooks she had out in her Gucci tote.

"Hey, I have to grade some papers later, but other than that I have nothing planned. You wanna come over for dinner?" Ricky said behind me.

"Um… I don't know. I'll have to check with Andrew first.

Chapter 7

Melissa came up to me after a couple of weeks at the end of the day, while I was sitting on the edge of Mrs. Eggleston's desk. Ricky was getting papers out of the printer in another room, so I was all alone. "Wow, so you and Mr. Fletcher, huh? That's interesting. Let me guess, your so strict brother doesn't know does he? I mean I wouldn't blame you. I know he's known to overreact. My brother goes to school with him and he told me all about how he freaks if the school calls his cell because you got in trouble. That is getting less and less now… Does Mr. Fletcher have anything to do with that?"

"Uh…I guess? I mean he's a really nice guy. I like him, but were just friends for right now. He took me out for a movie last week and things just went…strange." The truth was that Ricky and I had a blast. It was only afterwards when he tried to kiss me when I began to feel uncomfortable. I must have gave him the wrong message because he backed off and hasn't put his arm around me, or tried to kiss me since.

"Oh, so you're not going out? I just thought since he always drives you to school and holds your hand that you were."

"Well, yeah in that sense we kinda are, but I mean that's about as far as we go. I just feel kinda weird about going out with a teacher. Even if he is a student teacher."

"I get where you're coming from. People are always saying your doing it for the grades." I shook my head.

"That's not true. I really like him. Really and truly."

"You seriously need to make up your mind. Are you going out with him or not?"

"I-I uh…well…no. No I am not." She laughed.

"Well, that's a problem, his Facebook status says, 'dating a sweet 15 year-old, Audrea.' He things you're dating. You should tell him."

"I-I-" She cut me off.

"You really need to fix that stuttering problem. Anyways I have to get going, don't forget what I said. He could really get hurt! BYE!" About 10 minutes after she left, Ricky came in the door, hands full of papers.

"I just have to turn this into the main office, and then I'm all yours. Where do you want to go?" He looked at me with sincere eyes.

"I-I don't care. Whe-wherever you want to go. It's your d-decision, not mine." He raised one eyebrow.

"Aud, you okay? I mean I've never known you to stutter." I nodded.

"I feel fine, never better! Why do you ask? I mean…never mind you told me that already. I'm fine. Don't worry about me." His eyebrow stayed elevated while I reached for his hand.

"Why don't you come over to my place? Then when you want to go home you can just walk over. Does that sound good to you?" I nodded.

"That sounds great." I said as I reached up and gave him a kiss on his cheek.

He drove me to my house first, so I could drop my books off, and tell Andrew where I was going. "Andrew? Hello?" I screamed when there was no answer. I walked into the living room and dropped my stuff when finally I spotted Andrew on the couch looking disgusted by the scene in front of him. Here was Brian on the old couch, making out with his "Mean Girl" girlfriend. Ricky finally caught up to me and by the look on his face, he was just as disgusted as me and Andrew. "Uh…Aud…are you ready?"

"Sure…just hold on one second ok?" He nodded, and it seemed as though Brian hadn't noticed us one bit, neither did his hurlfriend, I mean girlfriend. I ran upstairs, and when I came back down I had grabbed a pitcher of water and was ready to dump it on Brian. This was his payback from all those times he embarrassed me in front of Ricky, or my best friends, or anyone.

Chapter 8

Slowly, I pulled the pitcher up to my shoulder and tipped it, water spilling faster and faster on top of what it looked like Siamese twins, conjoined at the lips. Brian suddenly looked up at me, an evil look upon his face. I was going to get it, but I didn't care. Brian deserved this; he deserved this for ruining my life all those times he had. "Payback" I murmured. Andrew looked up at me finally, laughing that not only had Brian gotten wet, but Nicole (I learned her name later) had too. "Ricky and I are going over to his house. Is that okay?"

"That's fine, just don't dump anymore water on anyone." This time Nicole glanced up at me.

"You little-!"

"It's alright, Nicole. I deserved it. I've tortured her enough over the years. I'm just surprised this as good as she could get me, I mean I could've done way better." Brian said, as I smirked.

"Just wait and see, Brian. You're right. You did deserve this, you deserved this for laughing at me when I was little and actually enjoyed being a little kid! You deserved this for laughing at me when I broke a bone or when I fell down the stairs! Up to this point, I've let you get away with it, but not anymore. You're not getting away with this anymore." I turned to Ricky, who was just as shocked as Andrew, and Brian, but held my hand as we walked out the door.

As soon as we got outside, I gave Ricky a kiss. A real kiss and I knew that even though I sent him the wrong message weeks earlier, I was now willing to move forward. I had forgotten by now all about Melissa's visit and I knew now that I liked him as more than a friend.

For the next few hours after we got to his house, we spent doing much of the same thing. Kissing. There were breaks in-between and we laughed with each other, before going back in again. When it turned 5 o' clock, I leaned up against Ricky's chest and he held me tighter than he had before making me feel safe and secure in his arms. I never imagined that anyone could make me feel safe besides my brother, but here was Ricky doing just that, and over a length of two months we got even closer and this feeling only grew.

I found myself beginning to love someone, really love for the first time, and my heart was surrendering every second we were together, every time we breathed the same air.

Ricky's mother eventually became more comfortable having me around, and having her son date a girl 2 years younger than him, so she had told me to come over anytime which I only did if I had called. It was more than halfway through the school year on a 3-day weekend, and my plans to go shopping with Stephanie had been cancelled since she had the flu. I decided I would make a surprise visit to see Ricky without calling, he had been out all week without me coming to visit, because he was going to the community college for meetings with his professor.

"Well looky here! It's little miss, Audrea! Ricky has been so prancy and nervy without seeing you this week. He's been studying nonstop so he can hurry and pass this exam so he can see you." I smiled.

"Hi, Helen. Is Ricky home now?" I had strict instructions by her to call her nothing but Helen. Anything else, she said, would be too weird and make her feel old.

"He's upstairs, studying of course. I'm sure he'll take a break just to see you. Go on up, I won't bother you."

"Thanks," I said as I started up the stairs. As soon I got to the top, I approached to see Ricky's door closed, something he never does unless I'm over and we're making out and he doesn't want his parents knowing. I was a little hesitant to open it, in fear that I would find him with another girl, someone I trust, like Stephanie.

I opened the door fast and closed my eyes. It was until I heard the door slam against the wall when I opened them again. All I saw was Ricky at his desk typing on his laptop. He paid me no attention at first until I walked forward, wrapped my arms around his neck and moved my head so I could kiss his cheek. He looked surprised when he saw it was me. "Hey!" He shouted. "I didn't know you were coming over, I missed you." I smiled.

"I missed you too, Ricky." He turned his swivel chair so he was facing me and got up to give me a hug.

"I'm sorry I haven't called, it's just…I've been so busy studying and with meetings with my professor. Aud, I didn't mean to ignore you. I just wanted to spend more time with you by getting these exams done. I would never ignore you on purpose, I love you."

Chapter 9

My heart was just fine until he said that. After he said it though, it stopped beating, literally. I was all happy and smiley and then he said that. He said he loved me, and I began to feel weak. My legs started to give in as I fell forwards where he was standing. The whole me feeling safe thing helped a lot. I trusted him and it paid off. He caught me and carried me to his bed, and laid a wet cloth on my head. "Andrew?" I asked as I woke up from my little "nap".

"No, Aud, it's me, Ricky. Are you okay, I mean, you passed out. You're really pale too."

"I'm fine, absolutely positively fine. Great, never been better. I just…did you say you loved me?" I felt like an idiot asking this, but I couldn't tell if I dreamed that portion or not. He laughed.

"Yes, Aud, I did, and I meant every word of it. If you don't feel the same, I understand…"

"I feel the exact same way. I just didn't expect you to say it. I've known a few guys who were afraid to admit something like that, and because they were, so was I. Those relationships didn't go anywhere, and most of the time, I didn't even have the courage to dump them. Steph had to do it for me because they were known by everyone to overreact."

"Yeah…the color's coming back into your face." I nodded and moved my head onto his shoulder.

"Ricky?" I asked as a thought came into my mind.

"Yeah?" He replied.

"I need to tell you something about me. You can't tell anyone though." He raised one eyebrow and made a goofy face that made me laugh. "Well…uh…you know the uh…Cutler hotels? Well…that's uh…my parents own all of them." I managed to get out faster than any other sentence in my life.

"What? Did you say your grandparents own the Cutler hotels?" I shook my head.

"No, my parents. I don't have any grandparents left. My parents own the hotels. That's why they are never around. I'm sort of like Paris Hilton, but not quite. I'm rich, and a shopaholic, that's how I afford Vorra Terrane. I'm not a diva though." His mouth dropped open. I was afraid he would make me buy him a car or something, but he didn't.

"So, they like, give you half of their income? That's sweet."

"They give me and my brother a monthly $10,000 check. My brother pays bills with it and buys food, and when he's done, he gives me the rest so I can go on a shopping spree with Stephanie. We call it our Mall till you Fall. In fact, that's what we were going to do today, but she unexpectedly got the flu."

"I guess I could take a break from studying a little longer. Just enough time to take you wherever you want to go…"

"Ricky, don't do that for me. Study if you need to, I can leave you alone. My brother can take me." The truth was that Andrew was with Brian that day looking for a new TV. They had already left, and I knew that Brian wouldn't let Andrew give into me because I didn't have a new pair of shoes.

"Aud, I've been studying the same stuff for a week now. I know this like the back of my hand. Plus, I haven't seen you all week; I want to take you out."

"Are you sure? I mean you really don't have to." He didn't bother to respond, just grabbed his jacket and keys and looked at me like he was waiting for me to go first. I walked out the door, and he followed shutting the door behind him.

"Mom, I'm going to take Audrea to the mall. I'll be back later okay?"

"That's fine. You need to take a break from the stupid laptop and get some fresh air. Do you need money, sweetheart?"

"No, I have plenty. My brother gave some to me before he left with Brian." She smiled and nodded, and Ricky and I left to go to the mall.

In the car, Ricky turned towards me, and spoke, "You know, I don't think I've gotten a hello kiss yet…" I smiled.

"Just turn the keys, and drive Ricky! You'll get a kiss later." He laughed and did as he was told.

Chapter 10

We got to the mall a half an hour later, and I realized that Ricky hadn't said much the whole ride. "Ricky, are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine, Aud. Why?" I shrugged.

"You just haven't said much. I mean usually you're asking me questions you already know the answers to, like if I want to go out this weekend."

"So you want to go out this weekend?" He had a serious look on his face. "I'm kidding, Aud. I've just been thinking about things. Does your brother like me?"

"Well…yeah, but even if he didn't he'd have to because I like you." His response was the gentlest smile I'd ever seen on his face.

We continued to walk inside, and I immediately found a pair of shoes I had to have, and soon after I had about 20 different outfits to match them for just about every kind of day there is.

By the time we got to the 4th store, I had bought twice as much as I planned. "Aud, why don't I take this to the car and you stay here?"

"I think that might be the smartest decision you've made all day."

"Okay then, I'll be right back." As soon as he left, I began looking inside a new store that reminded me in many ways of who I really am. This store was very expensive. A scarf there would cost the whole $10,000 check itself. I admired it with ease, and I found myself staring at one particular item for 15 minutes. "Gorgeous isn't it?" A strange voice told me. "Just like you, dear." I blushed and turned around to see the store manager standing behind me. "That stone may be expensive, but by the looks of you, you have that kind of money…on hand."

"Actually, I don't, but that diamond is so exquisite. Where's it from?" He smiled.

"Nepal in a little tiny mine owned by Cutler Hotels." I gasped. My mother surely would have millions of these stones, if they owned the mine. I didn't even need to buy it; my parents could just ship it to me. "So, should I save it for you?" I shook my head. "Sorry, I don't have that kind of money, now or anytime. Thanks anyways." He nodded.

I walked down the mall a little while before I ran into Ricky again. "Whoa! There you are. I thought you were staying by that bench."
"Sorry, I was just looking at this stone from a mine my parents own, and…I forgot. Let's go into Coach. They have a purse I've been dying to get."

We walked down the halls again and again, even though I was done shopping, just enjoying being together. Finally, in the stores all around us, several people came on the loud speaker saying, "We will be closing soon," so we went back into the parking lot and got in his car.

Ricky was a little more conversational this time, and I was the one being quiet. Thoughts seemed to pour through my mind. How long will this last? Does he really love me, like he says he does? What's going to happen when he moves on with his life and gets an actual job as a teacher? I couldn't grasp the concept that these things are very reasonable. I had to get a hold of reality and shake myself so I could understand. "Ok. We're here. Want me to help you unload?" I blinked and looked towards Ricky.

"That'd be great. Thanks Ricky." He got out of the car, and popped the trunk open. He grabbed several bags, as did I and we walked inside and up into my room. When we put everything up, Ricky looked at me with gentle eyes, and that matching smile. "Thanks again, Ricky for taking me today. I really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it. I wanted to take you out, remember?" I nodded, and walked forward to give him a hug. We stayed close for a few minutes until he spoke again. "So…can I have that kiss now?" I laughed.

"Sure," I said as I leaned forward to kiss him.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning okay?"

"Yep, bright and early." He smiled at me, and nodded. "Goodnight, sweety." He said. I took a deep breath. I really loved this guy. I just hoped he loved me too. Sure, he acted like he did, but just because you act a certain way, doesn't show how the heart really feels. A couple guys have already hurt me acting, I was afraid to get hurt that way again.

Chapter 11

I turned down the hallway, to see if Andrew was in his room, but he wasn't. Then I thought I may have missed him while I was taking my stuff up to my room and he was in the living room watching the basketball game with Brian, but the game was off, and Brian nor Andrew were on the couch. I searched the house high and low for my brother, but there was no sign of him, his best friend or the new TV we were supposed to have today. I tried calling his cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail. Then I got the idea that I could page him, but his pager was on the ironing board. I didn't feel safe like I did before. When I'm home alone, I get scared. I don't know why, and I know that I shouldn't because I'm old enough not to feel that way, but I do. Even with Ricky next door, I feel like anything could happen and he couldn't get over quick enough. I began to get worried, and then I realized there was one more thing I hadn't tried. I went back to the phone and dialed Brian's cell phone number. "Hello?" Brian answered on the other line.

"Brian? It's Audrea, is Andrew with you? I thought he would be home by now." A voice came across that didn't belong to Brian.

"Who is it?" The voice asked.

"It's your sister. She wants to know where you are ironically." I was confused. Why would it be ironic when I couldn't find Andrew? "Aud, we've been searching all over for you. We checked your boyfriend's house, but no one was home, and we tried calling you but your cell phone didn't work. Where are you now?"

"I'm home. The reason my phone didn't work was because we were in the mall, and I don't get good reception there."

"Well you're brother told me to tell you we're on our way." I said okay before hanging up, relieved.

I waited an hour for Brian and Andrew to show up, and when they did Andrew gave me the biggest hug he had in years. "I was so worried!" He had said. I just reassured him that I was fine, and we were just shopping. I didn't bother to tell him that Ricky knew about our rich lives, or about the stone from the mine our parents owned. I just told him I was fine, and I was taking a shower before going to bed.

What surprised me though was that even Brian was worried. I couldn't see him actually helping my brother look for me, but instead telling him to just leave me alone, if I'm dead, I'm dead, and that if I'm not, I'm not, that he didn't really care. He hated me anyways. I ignored these thoughts, and went upstairs to take a shower like I said.

Right before I went to bed, I got a call from Stephanie. "Hey, Aud. How about we do the monthly Mall till you Fall Saturday? I'll be feeling much better then. Maybe we can take Mr. Fletcher with us!"

"Um, well, you see Steph… I already spent the Mall till you Fall money. Ricky took me today, after I told him about the hotels and everything. But you are never going to believe what I found!"

"Yeah, you're right, Aud. I can't believe what I found out. My best friend ditched me because I was sick. I can't believe you would do that to me!" I felt a twinge of guilt. Well, maybe it was 2 tons more than a twinge.

"Steph, I'm sorry. I honestly didn't think you would want to go any other day with your vacation and everything coming up."

"Well you were wrong. This is OUR thing. Now are you going to take him every time? We're never going to be by ourselves to have a girls day out again will we? I'm already getting sick of Mr. Fletcher. I'm about ready to push him in front of a semi!"

"Stephanie! I can't believe you would say something like that! Just today he told me he loved me. I thought you liked him and I thought you were my friend but I guess I was really wrong."

"Aud I am your friend." She said.

"Not if you threaten to push my boyfriend in front of a semi! You're blowing this stupid Mall till you Fall thing way out of proportion!"

"Whatever. I'm done talking to you, hanging out with you, everything. I'm done with you!" She hung up the phone and I moped until I fell asleep.

Chapter 12

The next day, Ricky had come to pick me up like promised with a good morning kiss. "Good morning, girly." I grabbed my stuff and began to head to his car, but Andrew's voice stopped me.

"Do you have a few minutes before you take her to school?" He asked Ricky.

"Sure. What's up?" I had to laugh to myself. Just the thought of Ricky talking to my brother like they were great friends made my funny bone tickle.

"Well, I had time to notice last night; you guys were getting pretty close. Me being a brother to a sister, worried about that. You're coming to an age where you can legally get married and I just wanted to make sure you don't run of with my little sister." I groaned, and Ricky must have thought the same thing as me, because his reply was that exact thing.

"I thought you guys were the same age." Andrew blushed.

"Well we are, but I like to think of her as my little sister because then the guys she dates are more afraid of me." Ricky laughed.

"Dude, I'm not afraid of you. I'm not even close, and if you're afraid I'm gonna run off with your sister, think again, because I'm not. I haven't even finished college, man. The last thing I want now is a family. Plus, she's 15 if you haven't noticed! I'm not gonna marry a 15 year-old! For one it's against the law and two it's demented!" Andrew had a shocked look on his face.

"Then why in the world are you dating her? Why is it so demented for you to marry her but when you're dating her, it doesn't matter?" Ricky couldn't say anything. I couldn't either. He just took me by the hand and got me in the car and drove off. He didn't give me a chance to say good-bye to Andrew or anything. I didn't even have a say in whether I wanted to go or not.

The whole car ride, nothing was said. It was pure silence. The radio wasn't on and except for coughs or the clearing of throats; it was so quiet you could hear a mouse. I thought about telling him about what happened the night before with me and Stephanie, but I chickened out when I had my mouth open.

When we got out, Ricky didn't wait for me at all, just got his bag out and started into the school. When I caught up with him, I broke the silence between us. "Ricky! I'd like to know what I did. I mean, you're mad at me for whatever reason and this morning before you yelled at my brother, didn't even let me say good-bye to him, you kissed me and said good morning like you do every morning. I'll tell you one thing," (this is when I noticed several teachers were watching us, but I paid them no attention) "I love you. I do, but you know the way you acted just 5 seconds ago, is ridiculous. I didn't get one word in, in that argument. Not one, I didn't say anything, because I'm not taking sides. I love you, and I love my brother. I have to love my brother, he's basically all I have. Since my parents are never around anymore, my brother is like my dad and my mom in one, just because you got all bent out of shape because he wants to look out for me doesn't mean that I have to not like him. I love you both. You have to realize that, and if you can't, then you don't belong in my life. Not one bit."

"Aud, I know you love your brother, and I'm sorry you got upset because you couldn't tell him good-bye. I just needed to think. I mean he expected me to marry you? It's absurd and you know as well as I do that this relationship most likely won't last that long. I love you too, but feelings change over time. You have to accept that."

"I never said I didn't want to accept that! I never even said anything about it! What you're saying, you don't think our relationship will last? So, you're giving up, right? I don't like this change in you Ricky, not one bit. Just…just leave me alone. Just for now. I…I need time to think. I'll see you later ok?" He shrugged.

"Does it matter? Every time I see you now, your brother will think I'm going to run off with you. It's stupid, so just go. Be alone, I don't care anymore. Oh, and have your brother drop you off to school again, because I'm done."

"Ricky I didn't mean-" He cut me off.

"Just go, Aud. Just go." Tears began to fill my eyes. All the teachers watching us fight stepped out of my way as a grabbed for my phone to call Andrew. When he picked up, he must have heard a crackle in my voice because he just told me to stay where I was and that he'd be right there. When he arrived he was going to teach Ricky a lesson, but I stopped him. Instead he stayed home with me and tried to cheer me up, but it wasn't possible. When Brian came over after school, he was very quiet, recognizing that not only was the January cold air dreary, but so was the feeling inside our house. It wasn't that way before, it just became that way because of Ricky.

I tried to call Stephanie to tell her what happened with Ricky and I, and also too apologize but she wouldn't answer her phone. When her voicemail picked up, I just started sobbing. I tried to get a couple words in but all I got out was, "You were right." She never called me back.

Chapter 13

The next day I decided I would go over to Ricky's and apologize, but most of all, to see if he would do the same. Helen wasn't there, and his dad just nodded and let me in. "Studying," He had told me. Ricky, I thought. That's Ricky, the study bug.

I continued up the stairs and into Ricky's room, where the door was shut. I opened it with ease this time, ready to face Ricky at his laptop, most likely going to ignore me. Instead, the sight I saw made my eyes blurry with tears, and my head pound. The girl I considered a friend was making out with my boyfriend. Sure, I was relieved it wasn't Stephanie, but I had confided in this girl many times. This wasn't like her to betray me.

"Ricky?" I had said. That's all I could get out. Maybe the reasonable thing to say was Melissa, but I couldn't face her yet. I wouldn't face her yet.

Ricky may have said something, but I ignored it, ran down the stairs as fast as I could and out the door. Looking back, I'm impressed I didn't fall or run into something with my eyes as blurry was they were, but I didn't.

I spent the next day in my room, moping. No one tried to call me, Melissa or Ricky. I did however get a call from Stephanie and we made up (Thank goodness).

I couldn't bear to look out my window though to see if Ricky was looking at me with pleading eyes. I just couldn't. And another thing I was sure of was I couldn't go back to St. Peterson with Melissa and Ricky torturing me for the rest of the year even if it was accidental. I'd have to share cheer practice too, with Melissa and that wasn't going to happen. I knew what I had to do. I made sure it was alright with Andrew, and my mind was made up. Tomorrow would be my last day at St. Peterson. I would never see Ricky again, because I had been given word by several people that Ricky was going back to college and he and his family were moving. My life would change forever in two days as I attended public school for the first time in my life. Henton, here I come.