This fanfic is mine and nobody else's. Ed, Edd, n' Eddy is my show and I totally created it, and I claim all rights to it and everything related to it ever.


"Hey everybody!" Edd shouted one sunny summer day, "let's all have a super sexy dance party!"
With an excited "Yea!" from all of the residents of the cul-de-sac, everyone threw their pocket change into the air, causing Eddy to jump out of his clothes an collect each and every coin before they hit the ground using his time-stopping watch that he acquired before the events of the story.

"Yea, I'm awesome," he said, earning him a kiss from Nazz. The kiss was so amazing that Nazz multiplied into five Nazzes, and Kevin, Rolf, Jonny, Ed, Edd, and Eddy started making out with them.

Trudging out of the woods came three dark silhouettes holding large swords. The afternoon sun washed on their faces as they entered the cul-de-sac, revealing them as the Kanker Sisters!

"You must stop this super sexy party of yours!" May said.

"NEVER!" cried Edd as he flexed and burst out of his shirt. He grew into a twelve foot tall muscle man that towered over the three sisters.

In an instant, Marie raised her grenade launcher and blasted Edd into pieces with it.

"You will pay, nonbelievers!" Ed shouted as he brandished his Master Sword.

"Bring it, Honey," Lee mocked as he brandished a Master Sword of his own.

The two clashed swords in such an amazing display that all twenty Nazzes and Kevin exploded, as their simple minds simply could not handle the immense awesomeness before them.

"If Ed can take on Lee, then I must be a chosen one as well!" Eddy shouted. With a snap of his fingers he turned into Stephen King. With a flick of his pen, he wrote a story so intense that May lost her sight and ability to walk.

Edd and Marie were locked in combat; sword against swordfish, wrench against sentry, and pie against cake.

Edd gained the upper hand when he threw his cake at Marie's pie and it blasted the two of them to the moon, but Edd gasped in shock when he found out that his cake was a lie.

"NOOO!" he shouted as he fell down the abyss, taking Jimmy with him as they became engulfed in darkness.

Meanwhile, May and Lee were cornered by Rolf and Eddy. A strange light engulfed Kevin's body as the power of the sanctuaries flooded into him.

"Marie," Lee asked, "what does the scouter say about her power level?"

Crunching the Scout in his hand, a shocked Lee shouted, "It's over nine thousaaand!"

"What nine thousand?" Eddy's Brother shouted back at her.

"That's right," Edd said triumphantly, "so excuuuse me princess!"

"Hey guys!" Ed shouted, "I'ma firin mah lazor!"

With a shoop-the-whoop, Ed fired his lazor with all his might. With a final scream of agony, the aliens dissolved into the amazing light and Sarah exploded from the sheer awesomeness of it.

"Well it looks like once again, the day is saved," said Nazz, "thanks to Plank!"

The kids all cheered as they tossed Plank up and down in celebration.

The sky looked bluer than ever, and at last, balance had been restored.


The End.

...Oh god, what have I done? For anyone who may be actually taking this seriously, please don't actually take this seriously! I wrote this as a joke, since everybody needs a good crackfic once in a while.