She sat on the small couch that lounged in her apartment living room. Her gaze was set on the widow placed on her left.
She didn't blink, she didn't move, it seemed as if she wasn't breathing. Why should she? If he couldn't then she shouldn't. Feeling her lungs tighten and screaming for oxygen, she breathed in. She couldn't remember how long she'd been sitting there. Seconds, minutes, hours? She honestly didn't care.
She could hear car horns, engines, and police sirens outside of her apartments' thin wall. It was all blurred into one sound, though. She felt her head spinning. She tried so hard not to think about him. All the great times they had, the frequent arguments, the playful teasing. Her mind kept wondering back to his memory. His smell, his cocky smirk, his swept brown hair; every detail. She wanted to forget it all, and then, maybe she wouldn't feel as heartbroken as she did. But, she didn't regret being with him. No, she never could. They were the best years of her life and now they were over; gone; taken away from her in an instant. But so was he. She would never be able to hear his laugh, or talk to him, or just tell him she loves him one more time. That's all she wants. But, it seems to her that it's too much to ask for.
She could feel the hot tears of sorrow creeping down her flushed skin. She felt guilty. If only she hadn't screamed at him because he wasn't making enough income. Or maybe it was the comment about how he needed a new job that set him off. She wished she could take it all back. Maybe if she hadn't said those things he wouldn't have taken the keys and walked through the front door one last time. Maybe if she had gone after him he wouldn't have drove off. Maybe if she had kept her enormous mouth shut everything would be okay. But, she had to face the facts, he was gone, he was never coming back, and it was all her fault.
They argued about the stupidest things. She blew a puff of air through her nose. Look where that's got her.
Her eyes shut as tightly as possible. She could feel the warm wetness seep through her guarding eyelids. Her mind wandered back to January seventh. Exactly two weeks ago.
He walked in through the front door. It had been another rough day and all he wished to do was sit on the couch.
He hung his leather jacket up on the coat rack that stood just inches away from the door.
"I'm home!" He called walking down the miniature hallway. He peeks around the corner and spots her sitting at the kitchen island. He looks at her left hand and smiles. He couldn't help but notice how the diamond sparkles in the bright light. He stealthily crept up on her and wraps his arms tightly around her waist. She shrugged them off immediately and spun around to meet his eyes. He gazed down at her confused and hurt. "What's wrong?" She sighed deeply and jumped off of the bar stool.
"You need to find a new job." She deadpanned. He was taken aback. A new job? He had just gotten this one! He ran a shaky hand through his chestnut hair. "I just got this one. Construction is a fine job for now. I mean, don't we have a roof over our head and food in the fridge?"
"Well, yes, "She narrowed her eyes. "But, if no one hires me from my job applications, we might not be able to pay for this roof over our head anymore."
"Maybe you'd get a job if you knew more than how to argue." He grumbled under his breath. That had struck a nerve somewhere deep inside of her. Her eyes blazed with fury as she walked closer toward him.
"Oh, really," She snorted. "I was the best lawyer in Liverpool until you decided to take this stupid construction job offer! It's in New York for crying out loud!" Her arms flew above her head.
"If my job is so stupid, then why don't you find someone who has a better one?" His voice grew louder as his sentence progressed. Her eyes twinkled with hurt for a moment. He didn't want her anymore? He said to find someone else… That's practically telling someone they don't love you anymore.
Her hurt expression quickly turned to anger and hatred as her face burned with acrimony. "Fine," She shouted bitterly. "If that's the way you feel, then maybe I should!" She roughly yanked her wedding ring off of her left hand and threw it at him. The flying diamond hit him square in the face. As soon as it made contact with his skin, he immediately felt hurt and regret. What had he done? She had just broken off their engagement. He mentally shook off the regret, placed the ring on the kitchen island, and stormed to the door.
"What are you doing?" She panicked. He was leaving? He turned around swiftly.
"If you want to find someone better, then don't let me stand in your way." They stared softly at one another for a moment. No one blinked, no one moved, it seemed as if they weren't breathing. The miniature starring contest was broken when he abruptly turned on his heel and stormed out the door.
Her eyes popped open immediately. She couldn't think about that right now. It hurt her too much. Her gaze left the window and it followed an invisible path toward a picture frame just a few feet from her. It had been the night he proposed. It had been on the fourth of July while fireworks were blowing up. It took her by surprise, of course. She thanked the heavens that he didn't decide to take her to a restaurant that night. He had always remembered that she didn't 'do' them. He remembered. He had always remembered. The tears flew down her face once again, harder than ever in the past two weeks.
She cursed herself silently as she suddenly stopped herself from crying. She had cried way too much for her liking over the past two weeks. Whenever she thought about it, it felt like that was the most she had cried in all her life.
She sighed as she forced herself off of the black leather couch. She walked hesitantly toward the front door. Her steps stopped once she reached the coat rack. She gently pulled his leather jacket off of the decoration. She brought it up to her face and inhaled the scent. It still smelled like him, she decided. She sunk back into her depression and walked to their—her room. She breathing stopped, but she kept moving. She needed to face the fact that it wasn't their room anymore—but just hers now.
She took and empty box out from the closet and folded the jacket neatly. She placed the leather clothing gently down inside of the rectangular box if it would break at the slightest noise. She looked over to her nightstand, where a picture of him stood, and she reached over to grab it. Handling this item with the same amount of care as the last, she laid it down in the box as well. She took a moment to admire her work when she suddenly got an idea.
She stood up from her kneeling position and headed toward the kitchen. The pitter patter of her feet on the wooden floor echoed throughout the soundless apartment.
She froze as soon as her eyes met the reflection of a sparkling diamond. She gulped back the tears and reached to grab it. Holding it tight as if it were her lifeline, she walked briskly back to her bedroom. She sat slowly back in front of the open box. She sighed before she placed the silver band into the bland box. She placed the lid on top and slid it carefully underneath her bed.
It broke her heart to bear with those items. It wasn't like she throwing them away; no she would always keep those objects close to her. In fact, late at night when she couldn't sleep—which was more often than you would think—she would always put on the ring and jacket and look at the picture frame. It made her feel as if he was still with her at that very moment.
The next few weeks dragged on. She still hadn't gotten a word from either of the jobs she applied for. When she couldn't pay rent any longer, she was kicked out of her apartment.
Joy and Jerome offered for her to stay with them until she found a job. She had quickly complied considering she had nowhere else to turn as of now. Her parents had disowned her once they found out she was going to marry a man they didn't approve of. Piper, well she had passed not too long ago. Piper had been diagnosed with breast cancer and didn't survive much longer after she was diagnosed. She had lost two people in less than two years. How much did God think she could take?
Every night in the quest room at Joy and Jerome's house, she pulled out the box and did her nightly routine. She had decided that she wouldn't take the ring off anymore. It stayed on her left ring finger where she knew it belonged. Neither Jerome nor Joy mentioned a word about it; but they did however notice it.
She had been up later than usual one night and had been thinking about him, once again. However, there was one thing that kept replaying in her mind whether she liked it or not.
Patricia Williamson would always belong to Eddie Miller
And
Eddie Miller would always belong to Patricia Williamson.
