The priestess Kuri Hikawa ran, a fox—Reiko— following on her heels. As she ran, she tossed ofuda back behind her and they landed on the faces of Dean and Sam, forcing them to slow down.
Clawing at their faces, the Winchesters pushed through the sacred magic and made their way into the temple.
On the altar was a statuette of a woman with a vulpine face wearing red, white, and golden robes—the goddess Inari.
"Invoke!" The priestess said. "INVOKE! Damn you Inari answer my summons!"
In a flutter of golden wings the angel Gabriel appeared. "Wife's busy at the moment. How can I help, little miko?"
"The Winchesters are on our tail." Kuri said. "Trap them for us. Keep them busy until I can—"
"Tut tut tut..." Gabriel said. "You should be careful what you ask for. Inari and I have been looking forward to this little show—we'll be watching and recording the entire thing."
He snapped his fingers.
All went black.
Xxx
Dean looked around. He was outside their home in Lawrence. But wasn't he just—
Dean was confused. He looked down. Whoa. He was a teenager!
He walked into his house, unsure of what he would find.
Castiel shoved past him. He was young, maybe about ten years old.
"What are you looking at you malaka!" Castiel glared and stormed into the house.
Dean recognized an Enochian curse and wondered if he should be insulted or proud of the little angel.
He headed into the house to see John and Mary flirting and kissing.
"Ugh they're still at it." Castiel swore again and sat on the couch.
After a while of John and Mary gazing and smooching Cass smirked and took out a whistle, crept up behind them, and blew it, causing them to jump apart.
"Oh! Hello son!" Mary said. "John and I were—"
Why didn't she refer to him as Dean's dad? And since when was Cass her son? Something was up. This wasn't the past. This wasn't a djinn either. What was going on?
Sam ran out of the kitchen, also a teen, holding a mop. "What's goin on?! Dad did you stop kissing Mrs Campbell?"
Mrs Campbell?
"Dean could you get your brother?" Mary said.
Dean looked at Sam. "What?"
"Go get Cass."
Dean nodded and went and got his apparent brother, Castiel and came back downstairs.
"We have great news. We're getting married!" John said.
"You must be joking." Castiel said.
"It's not a joke. Isn't it great?" Sam said, catching Dean's eye and giving him a knowing look. "We'll be brothers. Hug me brother!"
He hugged Dean, and then whispered. "Meet me in our new room. We'll figure this out."
Xxx
The two entered an extremely cool bedroom, worthy of a teenage Dean.
"So the way I figure it. I'm Sam Winchester, son of John Winchester. You're Dean Campbell, brother of Castiel Campbell, and son of Mary Campbell. Our parents never got married—they're about to."
"You think Azazel is still going to kill Mom?" Dean said.
"Not a chance." Sam said. "He did that cuz of me, remember. I'm not her son. The whole destiny thing doesn't exist here."
"So no dest—What is that?" Dean looked at the laptop.
"Dear Kuri Hikawa,
I see no reason why you should swear off men completely. I know you've had some bad experiences, but think about the romantic sweet men you're missing out on—"
"The hell is this?!" Dean said. "It's signed 'Miss Nancy.' Do you think Cass—"
"Um..." Sam said. "That's really not our business is it?"
He was barricading something in the closet.
"Sam. Get out of the way." Dean shoved his brother, who right now, was smaller than him.
Opening the closet, he saw a wig and a dress.
"Seriously Sammy. You gotta Crossdress to help this girl?" Dean smirked and sat at he desk.
"Hey hey hey." Sam said. "What happened to getting outta here?"
"I'm a teen again. Scuse me if I wanna enjoy with a hot date with a sexy Asian teen girl." Dean said.
Sam shoved him off. "You are NOT using my column."
"Oh I'm not?" Dean smirked again and opened the window. "PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, LISTEN UP! SAM WINCHESTER IS MISS-"
Sam slammed the window on Dean wormed back in.
"EVIL!" Sam growled.
Dean happily finished the letter.
"—sweet men your missing out on. You shouldn't say yes to every guy, by no means, but if you meet one that sweeps you off your feet, buys you flowers, and romances you in your own language, or something to that degree—then by all means, go for it girl!
Miss Nancy."
"How in the hell did you learn to write like that?" Sam muttered.
"Gotta know what a woman wants, Sammy." Dean smirked.
"You are so totally evil." Sam laughed.
"Well besides. This Kuri Hikawa. I saw the picture." Dean said. "She looks like the priestess that got us here."
Xxx
Kuri slammed her locker door and leaned next to Reiko. "I can't believe Gabriel."
"You got that right. My dad did it again." Reiko said. "We should have expected this. Why didn't you see it coming?"
Kuri rolled her eyes. "Inari. She probably blocked out my powers. If we can get the items I need, then I'm sure I can break this farce."
"Anata wa totemo utsukushiku mirikiteki ni miete imasu." Dean leaned against her locker.
"Anata wa jibun de sekkusu suru koto ga dekimasu!" Kuri snapped back and turned back to her sister. "Shall we?"
"Wait a second!" Dean said, and held up a single rose to her and kissed her hand.
Kuri looked startled, then slapped him.
"Strike two, Cassanova, ne?" Kuri smirked. "Your letter made me wretch."
"My—" Dean blanched, caught. "How did you—"
"Strike three." Kuri smiled knowingly. "Thinking you could deceive a writer. Pa-the-tic."
The two strode off.
"Wait! Do you know how to get out of here—miko?" Dean attempted.
Kuri and Reiko turned. Dean could swear Kuri's eyes flashed silver.
"Play. Your. Role." Kuri and Reiko chorused.
Xxx
"Well that was creepy as fuck." Sam said, sitting on the bed. "Ya know that Reiko girl is the only girl who ever beats me in class. She thrives on getting the one-up on me. So smart. Annoying."
"Do I sense true love in the air?" Dean teased.
"No." Sam snapped. "I still want to go home. But at least we aren't in immediate danger right now. Hey, where's my Miss Nancy dress."
"I hid it." Dean said matter-of-Factly.
"You're the worst brother ever!" Sam said. "I need that dress!"
"What would you say if someone had to wear a dress in order to give good advice?" Dean asked.
"Obviously," Sam said, going through the closet. "I'd say that good advice comes from the heart and what's inside you, not the clothes you wear."
"That sucks." Dean said.
"No it doesnt! It's good advice!" Sam said.
"Well it looks like you gave good advice wearing pants." Dean said.
"Jerk." Sam said.
"Bitch." Dean said.
