Title: The correct definition of FML

Summary: I found my mate… Problem? Oh, only the fact that he happens to be my step-brother. Did I mention that I'm a werewolf? Enter jealousy, an oblivious strawberry and wolfish desires and you have the correct definition of FML. IchiRuki AU

Rating: T


Prologue - Beast


I can't open my eyes. I can't open my eyes. I can't open my eyes.

I chanted to myself as my as my heartbeat thrummed loudly in my ears, almost blocking the sound of bare feet slapping against concrete.

Keep running. Keep running. Keep running.

I can't stop. Even though with every step I take, another shard of glass digs into the soft underside of my petite feet, even though my body is feeling numb and on the verge of collapsing, and even though my head feels like there is a jackhammer digging into my skull. But no. I can't stop. I can't stop because if I halted my frantic, pained pace for even a moment… that thing would catch up to me, and if that happened, there would be no point anymore. I would die anyway. So I kept running, eyes screwed shut, head pounding, hands shaking, away from the footsteps only moments behind me.

I felt the terrain under my feet change from slimy cobblestone littered with rivets and shards to wet grass. Still, I kept up my pace.

Don't smell, don't smell, don't smell.

It was a futile attempt, even though I tried, I couldn't stop the rancid stench from entering my nostrils. It smelt like a mixture of rotten meat, blood, and pure decay. It smelt like death.

Don't think. Don't think. Don't think.

Don't think about the monster 5 steps behind you, or its eyes filled with a disgusting combination of animalistic desires, and bloodlust. Don't think about its golden predatory eyes that once shone cerulean blue, in the midst of passion. Don't think about the razor-sharp claws only mere seconds from your throat, or about how those arms used to comfort you in a tender embrace when you suffered from nightmares. And most of all, don't you dare think about who the creature chasing after you is, or who he used to be.

Step after step, labored breath after labored breath and I keep moving. I can no longer hear the padding and slashing of pads and claws on the grass. Maybe he - no, it - left. Maybe, maybe, maybe… So consumed by the thought of being free I was, that I didn't notice the quickly changing angle of the grass, so it came as a surprise when my foot collided with a stone, easily fracturing at least two toes. No, that was not the painful part, as my limbs had numbed a long time ago. It was the fact that the impact threw me off balance for a second, which was enough for my exhausted body to give out under me.

I let out a startled yelp as I fell crashing to the ground, as I did one of the things I told myself not to. My eyes swung open, as I came face to face with a creature from my nightmares. His - no - its skin, illuminated by the pale light of the full moon, glistened as the rough coat of black fur reflected the light. Its maw was twisted into a snarl, as its jagged teeth stained yellow were brought ever so slowly to my face. The smell of its breath was enough to make bile rise in my throat, almost making me gag on air.

My violet hues clashed with its golden orbs, in a silent battle of wills. It tackled me to the floor with savage smirk spreading over the creatures lips, and yet, all I could do was stare into the eyes I once knew so well… What happened? Why did this happen… I could only watch with a good amount of horror, as it raised its claws, muscles tensed and its jaw slack, dripping with a combination of blood and drool at the thought of the vile acts it was about to commit.

There were thunder clouds in the background, looking like they were about to burst, though I paid no heed.

It was like a slow motion scene, a gunshot went off the same time as the monster lunged.

There was a splitting pain in my side, as I attempted to focus my bleary vision. The only thing I could see was inky blackness, and I could only feel the intense pain assaulting the left like of my stomach. The next thing I knew, a smell filled my nostrils.

Blood.

It smelt like I was drenched in blood. I desperately attempted to focus my vision as everything slowly came into focus. The first thing I saw was red. So much crimson stained my body, as well as the monster lying motionless beside me. Wait a second. Motionless? I almost yelped in panic as something deep inside me told me to go over to the heap of tattered fur and flesh beside me. I crawled as fast as my battered and beaten body to allow me. With my free arm, I shook its shoulder as hard as I could, which in reality, must have felt like the breath of wind sailing across bare skin. To my surprise as well as horror, its eyes slowly blinked open, yet instead of the golden irises I feared I would see, I met with the same cerulean blue that I had come to love and depend on.

"Sorry, that must have been hard on you." He whispered, his voice scratchy and horse, barely audible. Moisture began to gather around my eyes, as I stubbornly refused to let the tears fall. I could tell by the sound of his voice, and the state of his body that he was dying. But I refused to accept it. He….he couldn't die. He wouldn't die. He wouldn't die, because…. Because he was…

"Arigatō" His voice rang out through the field, as I choked in a mixture of fear and disbelief. Fear that he would leave me, and disbelief that he was thanking me….thanking the reason for his pain, his suffering….his death.

"Because of you….I can leave my heart here…" I wanted to scream at him. Tell him to shut up because with each word he spoke, the truth was hammered deeper and deeper into my brain. He was dying…. He was truly dying… I wanted to tell him that everything would be okay, and that we would both leave here unscathed. And yet…. I couldn't. I couldn't lie to him. Not now. Not ever.

It was then that I noticed how his eyes had dulled to an almost inhuman navy blue. The realization hit me hard. He was dead. He wasn't coming back. And it was all. My. Fault. The tears finally broke free, no matter how much I tried to stop them. I didn't sob, nor wail like an infant. I simply slouched, as the tears tracked down my face. I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn't care. I felt like howling in grief and despair, like taking my anger, frustration and sorrow out on the nearest living thing. But I didn't. I simply sat there, his head cradled in my lap, and allowed darkness and a singular name to invade my mind as the rain crashed down around me.

Kaien….