Levi breathed heavily as he stripped out of his Recon Corps uniform.

His movement halted momentarily as he gazed outside the window. Memories of his deceased comrades flashed back in his mind. It was a lie to say that it never bothered him before. Levi winced in distaste at the thought. He felt a bit sick and the male had to lean against the wall for support.

Dammit.

It was never easy to lose a team, moreover the people he had considered somewhat close to him—friends, perhaps. After all, the training and the missions they had been through together weren't done in such a short period of time.

Levi knew that it had been his—and everyone's—very decision from the start to sacrifice everything for the sake of mankind. Luring the female-form Titan into the forest was risky, but Hanji's theory needed to be proved. They were desperate for the truth and then it was decided. Erwin had entrusted him with the task, and he had sworn to do whatever he could to help the Commander—and for the Recon Corps, of course.

Erwin.

Levi's heart skipped a beat. Something jolted at the bottom of his stomach at the thought of the male; something akin to fondness.

No.

It was fondness.

Levi might have lost a team—his comrades, but Erwin had lost so much more. Although it was somewhat unfair to say only Erwin did, because both of them had lost so much, including the tragedy from five years ago.

The black-haired male shook his head vigorously, mentally scolding himself. He was supposed to take a shower and not to think of anything else at the moment. It had been a long, tiring day and Levi needed to rest. The male then proceeded to discard the rest of his clothes onto the floor before stepping into the bathroom.

Levi wasn't surprised at all to see Erwin in his bedroom when he was done. He was still in the middle of drying his hair with the towel when he spotted Erwin sitting on one of the chairs with his arms crossed. Erwin didn't shift his eyes from the carpeted floor even when Levi closed the door behind him. His Commander had changed into much more comfortable clothes, and the blond-haired male looked like he was in a deep thought.

But it was nothing new.

Erwin was always thinking.

Especially after missions.

Levi commented nothing but to reach for Erwin. Erwin broke into a sigh at their skin contact, but it wasn't a sign of dislike. With their height difference and their positions, Erwin's head was on Levi's chest. Levi simply wrapped his arms around the handsome male's shoulders and rested his chin on the latter's hair. They were still engulfed by silence, but then Levi felt Erwin beginning to move, snaking his arms (possessively) tightly on Levi's waist.

Too tight, in fact.

Not that Levi minded.

Erwin was strong, heck, he was probably the strongest person Levi had ever known. But at times like these, Levi felt a bit glad that he had the only privilege to see Erwin differently. Neither of them said anything, but it was all right, because no words were needed.

Levi understood.

No matter how strong he looked, Erwin was still human. People could say anything they wanted about Erwin being extremely cold and all, but dammit, his boyfriend was human, too.

Levi lifted up his hand to caress Erwin's hair gently, calming the latter and at the same time liking the way Erwin's warm breath ghosting against his neck. Levi squeezed his eyes shut his eyes by instinct when Erwin started peppering light kisses on his exposed skin.

"Petra liked you, you know."

Of all the things Erwin could say, it just had to be that. Levi almost flinched at the tone Erwin was using. His boyfriend was being surprisingly...stern. Levi cleared his throat unsurely.

"She...was one of the best."

"I'm sorry you had to lose her."

Levi slowly gritted his teeth. Something strange washed over him, and he didn't think he liked what was coming. "It couldn't be helped. Her sacrifice was needed." He hoped it was enough to make Erwin stop, but no. Erwin just had to continue.

"It must be hard, choosing to toss away her body like that."

"It...was either that or us getting devoured by Titans."

"And what did her father tell you when we arrived back then? That she had devoted her life to you?"

"Erwin!" Levi hissed indignantly. He tried to pull away from Erwin, but the latter's grip on his slender waist was strong. "What is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong with me?" Erwin said darkly, still not loosening his grip on the shorter male.

"Yes, what's the matter with you? Stop saying those things," Levi retorted in irritation. Erwin had never cared about any other person before—especially girls. And with Erwin acting like this...he didn't like it one bit. Funny how Levi wasn't afraid at all when it came to Titans, but not when it came to Erwin. The black-haired male's voice was surprisingly steady when he said, "You're tired. You need to rest."

Erwin mutely lifted his chin up to stare at Levi, and their gazes locked.

Levi's knees almost weakened at the way Erwin stared at him. It was the stare that made Levi feel special, because Erwin only did it whenever they were in private. For the past few years, both of them had done their best not to show their affection whenever they were in public, protecting their leaders image. However, it all dissipated to heaven-knew-where whenever it was just the two of them, especially with the way Erwin holding him so close.

Maybe, just maybe, it was the same with Erwin, too.

Levi always gazed at him differently whenever no one else was around. If only Levi knew how much Erwin liked it, because it was clearly not the same with the ones Levi did to Hanji or Eren, for that matter. Erwin had never said it out loud, but he loved Levi at these moments the best. The others might said that Levi's gaze was scary as hell but not when it was addressed to Erwin.

Levi was his, dammit.

"That look," Erwin started as he gently brushed his fingers against Levi's chin. "You haven't looked at anyone else that way, right?"

Who else would I look at but you...?

Levi was about to snort, but he quickly changed it into a frown. What was up with the question...? Seriously, Erwin was not being himself tonight. Levi swallowed when Erwin exhaled loudly through his nose and rested his forehead against Levi's chest.

Okay, something was definitely off.

"Erwin?"

"Hm?"

"What is it?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you might freak out."

"Spill it out already."

"Marry me, Levi."

Levi froze as he sent Erwin a disbelieving stare. He fell silent for a few seconds, making sure that he heard it right, but Erwin had said the sentence without hesitation. "Wh—what...?"

Now he stuttered.

"We can get married at this place I know," Erwin shrugged as he played with the end of Levi's shirt, but his tone indicated that he wasn't playing. "They will be more than happy to give us a blessing."

Erwin was serious.

"M—marriage?"

"Yes, Levi." Erwin paused in a serious manner. "How does Levi Smith sound to you...?"

Levi's eyes widened and his jaw involuntarily dropped. Levi...Smith. He was too stunned to even let out a reply.

"Look...I know I should've asked it in a more romantic place, and in a more peaceful moment, but I don't think I can wait anymore," Erwin said, his tone was slightly laced with exasperation. It was the first time Levi had ever seen his Commander to be in such (fragile) state, and he felt a pang within him. "I know we're all willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of mankind, but if there's anyone, anyone I'm not willing to sacrifice, it's you, Levi. And you know that." Erwin gazed at Levi deeply. "Not you."

Levi's throat went dry. He didn't know what to do. What should he do...? What should he answer...?

"We can get married tomorrow before going to the capital. We don't have to dress in anything fancy."

Levi's breath became slightly ragged. So soon? Why did Erwin push him like this...? Why...?

"All you need to do is come with me. I'm gonna take care of everything. Wedding bands are the only thing left—"

"I—I can't."

Erwin pursed his lips. He narrowed his eyes questioningly at the male before him.

"I can't, Erwin," Levi repeated, louder this time. His expression looked angry, but Erwin knew it was worry. "I can't marry you, you selfish prick."

If Erwin was sad, he didn't show it. "...why?"

"Isn't it obvious? ...I don't want to be your widow."

Erwin's expression changed at Levi's remark. Levi felt like kicking himself upon seeing it, but there was no going back. He knew what he said was right, and Erwin had the right to know what was on his mind.

"We're in a war, Erwin, anything could happen. You saw what happened to Petra and the others...their lives were lost instantly just like that. You said you're not willing to sacrifice me? Don't be selfish. Do you think I'm willing to?"

Erwin opened his mouth, probably to reply, but Levi didn't give him the chance to.

"I will never be ready to lose you. Not now. Not later. Not ever. And marriage...it's not going to solve anything. I don't want to get married and then lose you in a battle. It would be too damn painful."

Levi angrily pushed himself off of Erwin, and this time, he succeeded.

"We need to get going to the capital tomorrow. You should get some sleep. And oh, Jean has agreed to disguise for Eren. We'll still act according to plan."

Levi pretended not noticing the hurtful expression that was chiseled on his boyfriend's face as he climbed to the bed. He turned his back on Erwin on purpose. The shorter of the two did not invite Erwin to the bed, nor did he tell him to get out. Levi simply laid there, half waiting, half uncertain.

Half scared.

The bed gained more weight the next moment, and Levi's lips trembled when he felt Erwin hugging him from behind.

"I'm sorry," the taller male murmured against his nape, wrapping his arms around Levi's flat stomach. "The thought of living without you just bothers me. I understand and I will accept your decision for now. But after all of this is done and we're still alive...will you please consider it?"

The last sentence made Levi gnaw on his bottom lip so hard that it might bleed.

Levi might act mighty and cool all the time, but ever since he accepted the offer and joined Recon Corps, a life without Erwin was something he would never imagine.

But there was nothing he could do at the moment.

They had a war to face, and marriage wasn't an option right now.

Levi didn't reply, but the way he placed his hands on Erwin's was enough as an answer.

When Erwin got injured in another mission and he had lost his right arm, Levi felt his whole world shattering.

Upon hearing the shocking news, Levi threw everything else aside and rushed back to see Erwin, wanting to tell him how stupid he was to have gotten injured when he wasn't around. He also wanted to scold the older male that he shouldn't have made him worry like that, but at the same time crying in relief at the fact that he was still alive.

Levi had never wanted to tell Erwin more that he was right, he had never looked at anyone else like that unless to him.

And yes, he would marry him.