A/N: Do I know what this is? No I fucking don't.
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(Sirius to Remus at 4:30 am):
moony
(Sirius to Remus at 4:31 am)
moony
(Sirius to Remus at 4:32 am)
moony
(Remus to Sirius at 4:33 am)
Sirius it's 4:30 in the fucking morning what could you possibly want
(Sirius to Remus at 4:34 am)
im locked out of the flat let me in
(Sirius to Remus at 4:37 am)
moony im serious
(Remus to Sirius at 4:38 am)
Hold on just give me a moment
(Remus to Sirius at 4:40 am)
Why are you outside the flat at 4:30 in the morning?
(Sirius to Remus at 4:41am)
does it fucking matter?! let me in
(Remus to Sirius at 4:42 am)
Wait I can see you through my window
(Remus to Sirius at 4:43 am)
You're half naked
(Sirius to Remus at 4:44 am)
shut up
(Remus to Sirius at 4:45 am)
And sparkling
(Sirius to Remus at 4:46 am)
ive had a long night just let me in
(Remus to Sirius at 4:47 am)
Why are you half naked and sparkling?
(Sirius to Remus at 4:48 am)
because im a fucking princess now let me in
(Remus to Sirius at 4:49 am)
Are you drunk?
(Sirius to Remus at 4:50 am)
im drunk enough to be indecent but sober enough to text
(Sirius to Remus at 4:50 am)
LET ME IN
(Remus to Sirius at 4:51 am)
Not until you tell me what happened I'm owed that much
(Sirius to Remus at 4:52 am)
james and i went to a party with lily and he got really drunk and stole my shirt and lily drove us both home but my keys were with the shirt and james is too drunk to return them so you really neED TO LET ME IN!
(Remus to Sirius at 4:53 am)
But that doesn't tell me why you're sparkling
(Sirius to Remus at 4:54 am)
it also doesn't tell me why you're an asshole let me in you stupid shit
(Remus to Sirius at 4:55 am)
You look like a stripper
(Sirius to Remus at 4:56 am)
REMUS I SWEAR TO FUCK
(Remus to Sirius at 4:57 am)
Now you look like an angry stripper
(Sirius to Remus at 4:58 am)
LET ME IN YOU BASTARD
(Remus to Sirius at 4:59 am)
Think of this as revenge for the pooper scooper prank
(Sirius to Remus at 5:00 am)
REMUS!
(Sirus to Remus at 5:01 am)
REMUS I CAN HEAR YOU LAUGHING YOU DICK THIS ISN'T FUNNY
(Sirius to Remus at 5:02 am)
I AM A YOUNG HALF NAKED MAN COVERED IN GLITTER ON THE STREETS OF LONDON I RUN THE RISK OF DEFLOWERMENT
(Remus to Sirius at 5:03 am)
Sirius you were "deflowered" years ago
(Sirius to Remus at 5:04 am)
im gonna deflower yoUR FACE if you don't let me in!
(Remus to Sirius at 5:05 am)
That probably sounded less gay in your head
(Sirius to Remus at 5:06 am)
SHUT UP YOU ASS AND LET ME IN BEFORE MY TITS FALL OFF FROM THE COLD
(Remus to Sirius at 5:07 am)
Hold on to your tits I'll let you in
(Remus to Sirius at 5:08 am)
But only if you do the dishes for a week
(Sirius to Remus at 5:09 am)
fine yes whatever just come down and open the door
(Remus to Sirius at 5:10 am)
Alright I'm coming
(Remus to Sirius at 5:10 am)
Don't get glitter on the bed
(Sirius to Remus at 5:11 am)
fuck you
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A/N: For some reason I really like the image of a glitter-fied half naked Sirius angrily texting. He'd have a really serious expression on his face. It'd be glorious.
Again, I don't know what this is, but it could turn out to be something cool and fun for me, so there. If you like it, please let me know.
(Btw, if you're curious, Sirius never told anyone why he was covered in glitter, and to this day Remus still thinks he works part time as a stripper.)
