Author's Note: Here we go again! More Finchel love. Please let me know what you think!
Chapter One: It's All in the Eyes
Finn Hudson was sure he'd never heard anything so crazy in his life, and that was saying something considering the source. Rachel lifted her brow at him gave him that look. The look that meant that he'd be forced to suffer through another lecture that may or may not include pie charts and research just to prove her point. Seeing the stubborn tilt of her chin, he knew it might just be easier to agree with her, after all. As much as Rachel had come to mean to him, she could still really freak him out sometimes. Still, he'd be damned if he'd agree with her on this one!
"Finn, it's the only way. Just do it and get it over with." Changing tactics now, Rachel reached up and laid her hand gently on his chest and batted her big, brown eyes up at him. He was a sucker for this move and she knew it. He sighed, weakening.
Finn forced himself to look away, knowing he had to make this decision without Rachel doing that Jedi Mind-Trick thing with her eyes. He fixed his gaze on the ceiling before answering, just to be safe. "Rachel, stop pushing this. I am not going there again. I'm done." Suddenly, his chin, trapped between Rachel's thumb and forefinger, was forced downward. Finn had no choice but to look directly at her. Damn, those eyes again!
"Finn, this is the mature thing to do. Just face it, once and for all, so that you can move on." Looking at her, he saw the quick flash of pain before she averted her eyes. She hadn't said it, hadn't once pushed, but he knew what she meant. Rachel wanted him to move on so that they could move on. Together. Finn wanted to be with Rachel. He really did, but he just couldn't seem to make himself take that final step. What the hell was wrong with him?
"I don't want to talk to her, okay? I can be in the same room with her, isn't that good enough?" It was desperate and not all convincing, but he had to try didn't he?
She sighed. "No. It is not good enough and you know it." She took his hands in hers. "What Quinn did to you was terrible and devastating, so why let her take away more?"
"She slept with my best friend, got pregnant, and made me think I was the father." He laughed without a trace of humor. "What else could she do to me?"
"You're letting her ruin glee for you. You used to love it. Finn, you shined up there on stage," she said, beaming. Finn wasn't sure he liked being told that he "shined," but he knew what she meant. He still got such a rush from Rachel's compliments. She was the most talented and brutally honest person he knew, so it always meant something coming from her. "Now, you just scowl and go through the motions."
"Hey, that's not true. I still love glee," Finn protested. It was true; Finn was happiest when he could just forget about his problems and loose himself in the music. And in Rachel. Still, he knew that Rachel was at least partly right. When they gathered in the chorus room for rehearsals, he didn't even attempt to hide the resentment he felt toward his ex-girlfriend and former best friend. His mom always said that he was an open book. He guessed that Rachel could read him, too.
"It's not fair to you," she began. He grinned. Rachel was still always so concerned about his feelings. "It's not fair to everyone else in glee, either." His smile faltered. So much for his feelings. "Glee used be fun and a place we all felt welcome. Now, the hostility is ruining that. Besides, we need to work together, or we'll never have a shot at Regionals."
"Look, I'm doing my best, okay? I'm there at every rehearsal, and I think the fact that Puck's still walking is proof that I'm trying." Finn bristled. Who was she--who were any of them--to judge him? Why was he the one being lectured, anyway? He hadn't noticed anyone lecturing Quinn or Puck lately.
"Finn, you were betrayed and no one begrudges you your pain. I don't expect you to make-up with Quinn or Puck, exactly, but...you need to at least talk to Quinn." Rachel gripped his hands more firmly in hers. "Finn, you need closure. You'll always be angry and confused until you hear Quinn out."
Finn shook his head, baffled. "I don't get it. I figured you'd be the last person who'd want me to talk to Quinn and let her explain." This conversation just proved what Finn had already guessed: he would never understand girls.
Rachel flinched as though she'd just been given a slushie facial. She took a steadying breath, clearly beginning to lose patience. "What I want, Finn, is for you to be happy. And...you aren't." She shook her head in frustration. "I am not defending what they did, but you need to understand why or you'll never really get over it." She turned to leave, opening the door to the chorus room. "Besides," she began, playing her trump card. "You promised to make everything up to me someday. That day is today." Head held high, Rachel exited, with her long, shiny hair swishing behind her. Well, she always did know how to make an exit.
Finn stared at the door long after Rachel had gone. He had certainly not been expecting that parting shot. This must be that emotional blackmail thing that Tyra Banks had been talking about. He'd only watched her show once because it had been all about feelings and relationships and stuff, but she had been hot enough to keep his eyes glued to the TV for five whole minutes.
So, okay, he'd told Rachel that he would make it all up to her. He'd meant it and wanted to do something to show Rachel how much he cared about her. But, come on! This was way too much and totally unfair. Finn had made his decision and that was all there was to it.
Except...through everything, Rachel had been the one to stand by him. Finn knew that he'd screwed up by using Rachel's feelings for him to convince her to rejoin glee. It had been low, and any other girl would have never forgiven him for it, but Rachel had. Finn remembered her coming backstage and offering to rejoin them during their first concert. She had looked so vulnerable, standing there waiting to see if the group would welcome her back or reject her. He still remembered her words: "If I let you down when you needed me most, I'd never be able to forgive myself." Although the whole group had been present, Finn had known that her words and covert looks had been for him alone. She had come back for him, even believing that he had used her and that there was no chance of a relationship between them.
The truth was, he'd loved spending every minute with Rachel and even let himself forget, for a little while, that they hadn't really been on a date. She had looked so cute trying to bowl, basically flinging the ball down the alley. He remembered how excited they'd both been by her unexpected (and frankly miraculous) strike. Then she'd kissed him and, oh God, he'd almost forgotten how amazing her lips felt crushed against his. Finn realized that he'd been messing with his own feelings just as much as hers. What he'd told her was the truth; he just wanted to spend more time with her and the kiss--both of them--were real. Even so, Finn had truly hurt her, and she was the last person he wanted to cause more pain. Despite all of it, Rachel was still there. Rachel, his friend. She was more than that, Finn thought, dismissing the term. Rachel, his...what, exactly? This, he supposed, was the problem.
Finn dropped heavily into a nearby chair, unable to believe that he was actually considering this. Why didn't Rachel just ask him to invite the entire football team to take turns kicking him in the nads? Still, she asked for so little and had done so much for him. Then his head shot up in surprise. This was the first time that Rachel had actually asked him for anything, Finn realized. Could that be right? Other than demanding he rehearse more for glee, Rachel had never once asked him for a favor. For anything. How could he refuse her now?
