TITLE: I can't have him
AUTHOR: sexycazzy
BETA: N/A
RATING: PG-14
CHARACTERS: Nathan/Lucas
FANDOM: One Tree Hill
GENRE: angst/romance
SUMMARY: From Nathan's point of view on Lucas.
WARNING: Mentions of incest, pre-slash
WRITER'S NOTE: I don't own any of the characters, they belong to One Tree Hill and its team. :(

This has no beta so all mistakes etc are all my own. I would be very grateful, if you notice any errors, etc to let me know!

This just popped in my mind this morning, and I had to write it all down. Hope you enjoy reading!

As always, I welcome any feedback ::))

______________

I can't have him - Part One

I'm standing in front of his house, waiting for him.

I'm in love with him, but I can't have him.

I remember the first time I saw him. He was playing basketball at the courts, and I was so mesmerized by him. He looked so good, his blonde hair, his blue eyes, his body. I just stood there, watching him, my heart quickening at the sight of him.

Now, here I am, outside his house, wondering whether if I should tell him about my feelings for him.

I have never fallen in love before. Yes, I've been in relationships before, but most of them were with a girl. It was just all to protect myself my friends and family. I was so terrified that if they knew the truth about me, they would reject me. But I was more scared of my dad. I knew that once he found out the truth, he would disown me and then kill me, or even to send me away, to avoid the fact that his son is in love with another man.

Every time I see him, my heart soars. Every time I touch him, when we are playing basketball, my knees would feel weak. My heart is going wild at not being able to touch him intimately, not being able to kiss him. It's running me mad.

When I found out that he was my brother, well, actually half-brother but still my brother nevertheless. Suddenly my love for him was tainted. I felt dirty for falling for my brother. My love for him was making me miserable, that I had to turn to someone else, to forget the love I had for him.

Suddenly I hear the door opening, and I look up to see him. My heart is going crazy, as he is walking towards me. I want to grab him and kiss him right now and there.

Yes, he is my brother, but I'm in love.

"Hey, Nathan!" he says, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah…" I nod, sadly.

As we get in his car, I watch him. I want to tell him how much I love him.

"Lucas…I-I wanna tell you something…" I stammer.

"What?" he say, while he is keeping his eyes on the road as he drives.

"I-I…" suddenly I lose my nerve, "Never mind...it wasn't important."

"Okay, if it wasn't important." Lucas shrugged.

We're going to a wedding…

My wedding.

My heart is twisted with the thought of marrying someone that is not Lucas.

To be continued…?